"I've got a bad feeling about this." Sheldon clutched at the steering wheel, knuckles white.

The whackadoodle hadn't even turned on the car yet. Penny was amazed he'd managed to get his learner's permit.

"It's going to be fine," she said, setting her purse on the floor between her feet. "We're not going that far."

The gas station was just down the street. She'd get to satisfy her craving for egg nog and spiced rum, and Sheldon would get a little driving practice and a promised box of red vines. Of course, this wasn't what Penny had originally had planned for Christmas Eve. She was supposed to be in Nebraska celebrating with her family, but a blizzard had canceled her flight. Leonard was spending the holiday with Stephanie, Howard and Bernadette were on a cruise with Mrs. Wolowitz, and Raj and Amy were visiting his parents in India.

Sheldon's only plan had been to not spend it with his family in Texas. So, Penny had roped him into hanging out with her even though she knew it probably wasn't the best idea. She couldn't help herself though. She missed him. Taking on extra shifts at work hadn't helped like she thought it would.

"I need to ensure my vision isn't impaired first." Sheldon began fiddling with the side mirror.

Penny grinned. "Of course you do." She reached out to pat his arm, but drew back before she touched him, quickly shoving her hand into her hoodie pocket where it belonged.

Crap on a cracker.

After not seeing him for so long, she'd barely managed not to hug him earlier, and now it was all she could do to keep her hands to herself. Indulging herself in an innocent pat on the arm would just make things more painful for her than they already were. Fortunately, Sheldon hadn't noticed. He was far too busy fussing with his seat and looking adorable.

Double crap on a cracker.

Penny had a violent urge to bang her head repeatedly against the dashboard. She'd actually been looking forward to Nebraska. It wasn't that she missed her family, but because she needed space away from Sheldon, more space than her extra shifts at work could provide. Ever since the rest of the gang had paired off, they'd been spending all their free time together. Penny hadn't realized she had a problem until she met that stupid lawyer at The Cheescake Factory.


One Month Ago

Penny eyed the tall, blond man as he approached the bar. Tailored blue suit, white shirt, and gleaming leather shoes. This man knew how to dress, unlike a certain theoretical physicist she knew.

She finished wiping down the counter and flashed him a smile. "What can I get you?"

"Old Fashioned, please."

Penny's eyebrows rose. Not only did this guy know how to pick a classy drink, but he was also polite. She couldn't remember the last time she'd met anyone so well-mannered at work, customer or co-worker. When she handed him his drink, her gaze zipped to his ring finger. Huh. No gold band, and no white line there either. Well, now. She allowed her smile to widen just a bit. After all, he probably had a girlfriend.

He took a sip and let out a pleased sigh. "Oh, that's damn good. Just what I needed."

"Rough day?" Penny asked, leaning forward on her elbows. Her phone beeped in her apron pocket, but she ignored it.

He gave a low chuckle. "You could say that. I'm a prosecutor representing an elderly man who was swindled out of his life savings by this utter low-life. The opposition is trying to pull some crap about the defendant not being culpable because his parents didn't teach him the concept of right and wrong."

"That's a bunch of bull!"

He saluted her with his drink. "It's a shame you're not the judge."

She scowled. "If I were, I'd go Junior Rodeo on that scumbag's ass."

The man laughed, white teeth gleaming in his tanned face. "I'd pay to see that."

Her phone beeped again. A regular waved her over for a refill, and then she had to help the new waitress, Katie, clean up a tray full of plates that she'd dropped on the floor. By the time Penny returned to the bar, the guy had finished his drink.

She wiped her hands on her apron. "Sorry about that. Do you want another one?"

He gave her a half smile. "Actually, I was hoping you might-"

Penny's phone beeped a third time. She fished it out of her pocket. "I'm sorry. I should check this. It'll get worse if I don't."

Please ensure your shift ends promptly as it's laundry night. I thought I'd remind you after last week's aberration.

Don't bother bringing down that chemical waste you call a detergent. You can use mine.

I've been told that it's rude not to reply when one is texted. In case your memory has failed you, which is likely, you're the one who told me that. Your hypocrisy astounds me.

Penny snickered. She purposely wrote in the worst text-speech just to rile him up.

Don't git ur panties in a twist, Moonpie. I won't be l8. C u soon.

A beep quickly followed.

Since I don't own any 'panties,' you must be referring to your own. I already promised my mother I wouldn't touch your delicates after the flagpole incident.

A grin spread across her face. God, he was such a goof.

Another beep.

Don't call me Moonpie. Only Meemaw calls me that.

Rlly? U nevr told me that ;-)

She shoved her phone back in her apron, wincing as she remembered she'd left the attractive lawyer waiting. "Sorry, what was it you were wanting?"

A wry smile tugged at the man's mouth, and he shook his head. "I was actually going to ask you out, but I see there's little point."

Penny's eyebrows drew together. "What? What do you mean?"

"Come on. I know you weren't texting your mother." He waved a hand at her. "Your facial expression said it all. It's obvious you're dating whomever you were texting."

She gaped at him, then let out a short laugh. "Well, your facial reading skills are wrong, bucko. I'm single."

Disbelief flickered across his face. "You're not seeing anyone?"

"I'm not. Seriously."

His brown eyes narrowed. "Alright. How about after your shift, I take you out to that new champagne and dessert bar on Union Street?"

She bit her lip. "That sounds amazing, but I already have plans."

"With your texting buddy, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not what you think." Penny flung her towel onto the bar top and sucked in a deep breath. "Look, I can't miss laundry night with Sheldon or he'll freak out. And it's my turn to pick out the movie afterwards, and I've been dying to make him watch The Notebook, but I had to forfeit last week and watch Spaceballs because my shift ran late, so tonight really won't work."

He stared at her, eyebrows high on his forehead. "I see."

"Let me check my schedule though." She opened the calendar that Sheldon had installed on her phone. "Um, tomorrow's paintball. Monday is Thai night, I'm working on Tuesday, and Wednesday is Halo. Oh, wait!" She looked up at him and smiled. "I'm free next Thursday morning if you want to go out for breakfast."

"I don't think it's a good idea, and I'll tell you why." He folded his hands. "It's obvious you have some sort of intense schedule with this Sheldon. You don't want to upset him, and you're dying to watch a romantic film with him. While I appreciate your offer of breakfast, it's not really a date activity. You've been friendly with me this evening, but you never smiled at me the way you did when you read those text messages from him. You might be single, but you're not available."

Penny's mouth fell open. Of course she was available. Who did this guy think he was? Her mind replayed the previous three months. Wait. When was the last time she'd been on a date? Her heart began to pound in her chest, and her palms grew sweaty.

She couldn't remember.

"He's my neighbor and my best friend. We're not dating." Her reply sounded weak to her own ears.

"You're dating in all but name, and it's clear you wish you were. The evidence is overwhelming."

She gawped at him, knees suddenly weak. She couldn't possibly...could she?

Her and Sheldon?

It hit her then like a ton of shoe boxes.

Oh my God.

"I need to take my break," she whispered. He nodded, and she sped out the far door and into the cool darkness of the alley. She leaned back against the wall and took in deep, gulping breaths.

She was in love with Sheldon Cooper.

The sudden realization sent a giddy sensation fizzing through her veins until it reached her heart. That's when her head stepped in and reminded her that nothing was ever going to happen between them.

Penny's heart gave a painful twist. Sheldon would never, ever like her like that.

Amy had terminated her relationship agreement with him because he couldn't bring himself to kiss her. If a brilliant neurologist like Amy couldn't manage to steal Sheldon's heart, then what hope did Penny have?

Absolutely none.

God. She was so doomed.