What if Harry Potter never went to Hogwarts?
A bit of a parody, really. One-shot, unless you want me to continue. Please review!
Harry sighed, adjusting his battered glasses. It was unfair, he thought, that Aunt Petunia wouldn't allow him even one paycheck to buy a new pair. Everything he earned went straight to her. Ducking out of his cupboard, he dodged Dudley's briefcase as it swung towards his head. Yes, Dudley, of all people, had an office job.
Downing a glass of orange juice, Harry watched the Dursleys eat a hurried breakfast of dry toast. Although Dudley had graduated from Smeltings several years before, Aunt Petunia still insisted on following the battered sheet taped to the refrigerator.
Harry actually laughed at the thought of Dudley following any sort of diet, causing Uncle Vernon to shoot him a glare. He hurriedly adopted what he hoped was an expressionless face, although a smile tugged at his lips. Everyone knew that Dudley ate nothing but junk food when he was out of the house. If anything, he was gaining weight.
"Dudley has in interview for a promotion today," Uncle Vernon said proudly, causing Harry to choke on his juice. Dudley, of all people? He hadn't changed in years, and was still a rather dim-witted bully; Harry couldn't imagine anyone choosing his cousin for a promotion.
Checking his watch, Harry realized that he was running late for work. Quickly, he carried his plate to the kitchen, threw together a sandwich, and returned to his cupboard to put shoes on.
Harry began jogging down the street and turned the corner, speedwalking for the next few blocks until he was back on time. He neared the large department store he worked in, and entered through the back door. Immediately, he headed for the broom cupboard.
"Potter," Dudley's old friend Gordon greeted him coldly. "You're late."
"No I'm not," Harry protested, looking down at his watch. He was actually two minutes early. As soon as he spoke, though, he regretted it. Gordon was his boss, and never let Harry forget that.
"Yes, you are," Gordon replied. "And because this is the third time you've been late this week, I'm going to need to take another ten percent off your paycheck."
Harry slouched off to fill a bucket with soapy water, knowing that it would be better to take Aunt Petunia's anger with him losing part of his paycheck than him losing his job. Harry finished filling the bucket, then went to get a mop, sighing. He hated the job, he hated everything about the life he lived, but he didn't have much of a choice.
Brushing his hair over the bumpy scar on his forehead, Harry got to work. The car crash his parents died in had given him an ugly scar that many people were disgusted by. Years before, Harry had learned to just keep his hair covering it.
"Faster, Potter," Gordon said as he walked by. "We open in fifteen minutes and I want you done with Menswear before it does."
"All right," Harry muttered, sliding the mop more quickly across the grayish tile. It made loud splatting noises each time it hit, creating puddles that he quickly wiped up.
"Bettter," Gordon said, then frowned. He hit his shoe against the floor behind Harry, leaving a few clumps of dirt. "Whoops, you missed a spot."
Harry grimaced but said nothing, simply turning to wipe it up. "Shouldn't you be making sure everything else is going smoothly, too?" he finally asked.
"Don't you tell me what to do, Potter," Gordon snapped, but he did leave. Harry gladly watched him go, pausing in his work for a moment to watch Gordon leave. Then, he hurriedly began to mop the floor again.
A little while later, just as Harry was finishing with Menswear, the last lights came on and he heard customer voices beginning to fill the store. No matter what day it was, there always seemed to be a few people ready to come in as soon as the store opened.
Harry hurried to put up the "Caution Wet Floor" sign, and continued on into the women's section. Averting his eyes from some of the more personal articles, he felt his face heat up. Harry had never really even known anyone of the female gender, apart from Aunt Petunia, so this was all alien to him.
He finished with women's and children's, starting in on cookware. The janitor work in the morning was the worst part of Harry's job. He much preferred his other work restocking the shelves and occasionally helping customers in the afternoon.
Finally, Harry finished mopping the floor, and gladly returned the mop and bucket to the cupboard. Then, he fixed his hair and sat down to eat his hastily prepared sandwich.
After he had finished, Harry collected the men's clothing he needed to hang up and returned to Menswear. He took down the wet floor sign, propping it against a rack so that he could return it to the storeroom when he was ready to get more clothes.
Harry hung up all the clothing, trying to avoid getting in any customer's way. The last thing he needed was a complaint, because he didn't want to lose any more pay. Instead, he just made himself as invisible as possible.
"Excuse me," a girl's voice said, and Harry turned quickly. A pretty, red-haired girl about his age stood there, looking a little mystified. "Could you tell me where to apply?"
"Y-you'll need to talk to Gordon," Harry stammered, pointing in the direction of Gordon's desk. "He's the manager here."
"Thank you," the girl said, smiling briefly at him before hurrying in the direction Harry had pointed. Once she was gone, Harry let out a breath, sure his face was embarrassingly red. Girls almost never spoke to him, so when they did, Harry had no idea what to do.
Harry continued working, not seeing the girl again. He didn't doubt that she would get a job, because Gordon was a sucker for pretty girls. Harry only wondered what job she would get.
Eventually, his day ended, and Harry headed for Privet Drive. He wasn't exactly looking forward to going home, a return to his aunt, uncle, and cousin either insulting or ignoring him. Harry sighed, walking more slowly. If anything, the walk home was his favorite part of the day.
A/N: I thought this would be fun to write, and I did enjoy it. Please tell me what you think, and whether I should write another chapter. Thanks for reading! :-)
