Chapter 1 – New Beginnings

Brenda was sitting on her front lawn when she realized it wasn't hers anymore.

She looked on in a daze as Fritz and two moving-men carried belongings - some that would go to Fritz's apartment downtown and some to her new condo - out to the truck. Her mind was still inside the home she'd made with her husband.

Ex-husband. The papers were processed the week before. And here he was, helping her move herself, move her life, to the next new place.

Fritz was carrying an end table out to the truck when he realized Brenda had been sitting quietly on the lawn for a while now. His brow furrowed and he passed the table to one of the movers.

"Take this, will you? I just need a minute," he said and the other man nodded and carried on.

Fritz made his way over to her and plopped himself down. She barely stirred; she continued to stare into a space on the sidewalk. He put a hand on her shoulder and she inhaled suddenly as she turned to him.

"Hey, Fritzi. Sorry, I just needed a break," she said and added a soft smile.

"It's all right, you take all the time you need. How are you holding up anyway?"

"I'm okay. It's just strange, y'know. I never thought about not livin' here. Not even when we were picking out my condo."

"I know. You couldn't stay here alone though, Brenda Leigh. It's too much house," he grinned. "And you're very small. You don't need all that room."

She grinned back. He took a deep breath.

"But also," he continued carefully, "there are some bad memories here, ones you'll probably want to avoid, especially now."

Brenda watched as the kitchen table, their kitchen table, was carried to the truck. She thought of pancake-mixing. She thought of Momma. She wiped at her eyes.

"Yeah." She let her mind wander in those walls for a moment. "Good ones too, though," she said as she smiled again at the man beside her. The man she'd been separated from for months. The man she'd somehow remained friends with, even after the fights and the broken dishes and all the messiness that brought them closer to the end. "I'm sorry, Fritzi. I'm really sorry it didn't work out."

He reached out and took her hand, he ran his thumb over the place where her wedding band used to be.

"I'm not." He said, finally, looking up into her eyes. "We made the decision together. The first thing we completely agreed on in months," They both laughed. "And it was the best decision. Neither of us were happy. We both kept holding on to something that just wasn't fitting the way we wanted it to."

She put her head on his shoulder.

"I know. You're right. We were right," she said with a sigh.

"But I'll always be there for you, Brenda. Whenever you need me. Okay?"

She nodded against him.

"Now get your butt off the lawn and let's get you all the way moved out." He stood up and reached out his hand to help her off the ground. And Brenda knew everything was going to be okay.

—***—

Later that week, Brenda still couldn't bring herself to really unpack her things. Whenever she needed something, she'd open up boxes and sift a bit until she found whatever it was she wanted. She'd cast a guilty look at the stacks and then decide there was probably something else deserving of her attention.

She had been better about cooking a few things for herself though, and that, she thought, was quite an accomplishment.

Although, she hadn't actually unpacked the pots and pans. She'd bought new ones instead. Baby steps.

Her condo was a nice size, probably a bit too much room for just her, but it would be better when company came to visit. The front door opened into the kitchen and dining room, which melded into the family room. Brenda loved the lack of doors in that part - just one big lovely space to spread out in.

Right now it was one big full-of-mess-and-boxes space, but she'd get to it eventually, right?

She sighed into her stir-fry. Her new red couch was comfortable but it made it even more obvious that the condo was undone.

Brenda finished her dinner hurriedly and realized there was only one option left when one's home was in shambles and in need of organization.

And that was to go somewhere else.

—***—

Brenda returned to her building a few hours later, tired of aimless driving, parking, and walking, and with a bag full of sugary treats to put in her desk drawer in the condo. In my condo, she thought. In my home.

It would take a while for it to feel that way.

She parked in the underground lot beneath the building and was just grabbing her bag of goodies when she noticed a very familiar car pulling into a space nearby.

Her breath caught. She froze and watched as a very familiar woman parked said car.

Brenda's hesitation was cut off by a sudden burst of confusion and anger. Why the hell was Sharon Raydor here? Is she following me? Brenda thought, in a moment of absurd paranoia. Brenda got out of her car, blindly trying to lock it with the button on her keychain, realizing too late that she'd pressed the one that raised the alarm instead.

The garage filled with her car's wailing. She scrambled to make it stop, dropping her keys in the process. In her distress she hadn't noticed that Sharon had seen her former colleague and was now closing the distance between them.

Brenda had just silenced the car when Sharon spoke up, scaring the small Southern woman a mile out of her skin.

"Brenda?" Sharon noticed the woman jump. "Sorry - are you okay?"

"What are you doing here?" Brenda blurted out. She was catching her breath from being so startled and couldn't actually look at the Captain when she said it. Sharon shook her head for a moment, thrown off by the sudden leap in conversation.

"Well I live here." Sharon stated. Brenda looked at her then, in something like shock or horror. The expression was so absurd that Sharon laughed - a big guffaw that she quickly covered up with her hand. Brenda realized how she must have looked and closed her gaping mouth.

"Sorry." Brenda's turn to apologize. "I'm just surprised is all."

"Why are you here?" Sharon returned.

"I… also live here. Now. Just moved in this week, actually."

"Oh! Oh. Huh," was all Sharon could manage as she processed the new information. "Which floor?"

"16th."

"So you still have a pretty good view then. I'm on 23."

Of course, Brenda thought. That woman always had to be above her. Even literally. She smiled and nodded politely at the brunette. They both stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment and then both started speaking at once.

"Well I'd better-"
"I should probably-"

They both laughed and made their way towards the elevator.

As they waited for it to come, Brenda finally thought of something to ask.

"Is Rusty still living with you?"

"He sure is," Sharon answered with a proud smile. "He's going to school and doing pretty well actually. He's not cutting class, he's making friends." They stepped into the elevator and Sharon hit both floors for them. "I think he's going to be okay."

"And what about after the trial? Do you think he'll stay with you?"

"I don't know. We haven't really had that conversation yet. I think he thinks he'll leave as soon as it's done."

"D'you want him to stay?" Brenda realized that it might be an uncomfortable question. It seemed too intimate, too far for her to step into the life of a woman she barely knew. But she kept her mouth shut. She was curious to see if she'd get an honest answer.

Sharon looked her in the eyes for a moment. She smiled. A genuine one, not one of those Raydor smirks.

"Yes, I think I do. He's a really good kid and I'd like to keep helping him if I can."

The elevator dinged as it hit the 16th floor and Sharon held out her arm to keep the door open as Brenda stepped into the hallway. The blonde felt her heart drop a little. She'd been enjoying the conversation and found she didn't really want to go back and sit alone in her apartment.

"I guess I'll see you around, Sharon," she said anyway. Because she didn't have a reason not to. Sharon nodded.

"You should come visit us sometime. Rusty would probably like to see another familiar face. I think you made quite an impression on him."

"I'd like that." They both looked at each other in silence until the door started to protest being open so long.

"Night, Brenda." Sharon let the elevator doors close.

—***—

Sharon took another sip of wine as she sat in bed. She was holding a book open in her hand, but she wasn't really reading it. Instead she was staring at the wall, absorbing the sounds of the TV on in the other room, thinking that she'd tell Rusty to go to bed soon or else he'd never get up in the morning.

She thought that would probably end up with him begging to watch just one more show and she'd cave and sit down and watch it with him, enjoying his company.

She smiled. She had fallen back into her motherly routine so quickly, so seamlessly, it was like she'd never lived alone at all.

She thought of Brenda, seven floors down and all by herself in the spacious condo. Of course Sharon had noticed Agent Howard's wedding ring had disappeared months ago, but she'd been too hesitant to ask. It wasn't her place.

She imagined Brenda sitting, eating whatever nonsense she'd brought home in that plastic bag she was carrying, all alone. And it made her sad.

She closed her book and set her wine glass down on the night stand. She massaged her sore neck for a second and closed her eyes. She pictured the blonde in bed, alone.

I'll have to run into her again, Sharon thought, as she left her room.