"Relena, I…gee, I don't know where to start. There are so many things I just gotta tell you. I mean, look at you. Always hiding behind that diplomatic smile, pretending everything's just dandy…you don't fool me, Relena. I can tell. I know how empty you feel. I've felt it too. You're a sensitive person, and you want more. You want affection. You want love. You want to be needed. More than what Heero'll ever give you."

Duo Maxwell looked down into Relena Peacecraft's eyes. "Dammit, you're beautiful. You need someone who'll give you more, Relena. Someone like me…"

Duo lowered his mouth to Relena's and gently kissed it. "You need me…"

Relena's face, unwavering, smiled back up at him. Duo took his lips of the picture. "Damn, I miss you…"

He jumped up from his bed and put the picture back on his dresser with a heavy sigh. Don't you wish, Maxwell. A quick glance at his clock told him he had better get going before he missed all the great last-minute Christmas shopping sales. He opened one of his dresser drawers and glanced inside. Almost everything's black, he silently grinned to himself. He pulled something out and laid it on the top of the dresser.

On Hilde's picture.

Hilde. He hadn't seen Hilde in three years. Three years ago, she had left him, "Believe me, it's for the best" being her last words. He had never really understood why she had left him, but it had left him feeling pretty lonely.

He sighed again and threw off his nightshirt before putting on a pair of black pants he picked up off the floor. He then gripped the turtle-necked sweater he had taken out of his dresser earlier and slipped it on. Once again he let his eyes fall to Hilde, as thoughts of his last day with her slowly flooded his mind…

"Duo!" screamed Hilde, bursting in the door to Duo's small apartment on L2. She was wearing a pretty white dress that Duo had recently bought her to cheer her up.

"What?" asked Duo from the couch. He was watching some Thursday primetime sitcom on television. He turned around and saw Hilde close to tears. Then he noticed her dress, and the realisation dawned on him. He groaned and got up, moving toward her. "Babe, I'm sorry…hell, I just…"

"You what, Duo? You forgot? Again?" Saying this, she burst into tears. She couldn't help but collapse into her boyfriend's arms and cry her feelings out on his comforting body.

"Aww, Hilde, lemme explain!" Duo put his arms around her and gently rocked her back and forth. Hilde just cried harder when he said this. "Baby, Hilde…I just had a hard day at work. I feel so bad…that's twice now."

"God, Duo!" she sobbed into his chest at this reminder.

Dammit, Maxwell, he thought to himself, realising he had said something stupid. Look before you leap. "Hilde," he lifted her face and stared into her eyes, "I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot." With that, he brought his lips to hers and gave her a tender kiss. When he was done, he lifted his face again and smiled reassuringly down at her. "I swear it won't happen again."

She stopped crying for a moment and stared back at him. "No, Duo," she said, taking the little diamond ring off of her finger and squeezing it into his hands, "It won't." She reached up and kissed him again and then ran out his apartment door, her sobbing renewed. He had just stood there, staring, and hoping he was only experiencing a bad dream…

Three days later he had received a letter from Hilde in the mail. At first, he was overjoyed. He thought that, perhaps, she was going to give him another chance. When he read it, though, his heart was perfectly shattered.

"Dear Duo,

I hope you're doing well. There are a lot of things I'm going to tell you, so make yourself comfortable. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Almost three years. When we first met so long ago, I never thought I was going to get so involved with you. Sure, you were cute – you still are – but you were too idealistic for me. Equality this, oppression that…but regardless of our conflicting opinions, even then every moment I spent with you was a pleasant one. You were a decent guy, Duo, and I kinda liked you, too. Time passed, we followed our own paths… After the war was over, I almost felt something romantic for you. But not quite yet.

We both moved back up to L2, but neither of us knew the other one was there too. Then we met one day at the movies…remember that? I'll never forget it, Duo. There you were, one of my best friends, standing before me. You were even cuter than you were when I first met you. We talked for a while after the show and found out that our apartments were in twenty minutes of each other. God, that was the best coincidence of my life. Then we started doing things together. And you eventually took me out to that restaurant…remember? When you had those four street singers come in? I was so embarrassed, but I loved you so much at that moment…I was officially yours now. I had never been happier in my life.

I'll never forget the next two and a half years of my life, Duo. I'll never forget when you finally asked me, either. You took me out to our favourite spot in the park, sat on the bench with me, and pretended to drop something. When you knelt up and placed that pretty little ring on my finger…Jesus, Duo. That's what I love most about you. You're so unpredictable.

But then things changed. I don't know what happened to you. You just stopped caring about me. First, you forgot our anniversary. I told myself that it was okay because every guy does that and we weren't married yet anyway. Then you stood me up. And then again. I blew it off as premarital stress, and I decided the best remedy would be to get the wedding over with.

So we set up an appointment with that guy who was going to do our reception. I even conceded to getting married in St. Maxwell's for you. I showed up to the meeting with that guy…Mr. Reade, or whatever. And we waited thirty minutes for you. You never showed up. Now, I was feeling the other end of the spectrum. I had never been more embarrassed in my life. I went to your apartment and found you napping. I woke you up and told you, but you didn't even care that much. You said you did, but I know you better than that. I can read you, Duo. We didn't talk for a week.

Then you came over and brought me that new dress. When I saw you come to the door, all wet from the rain, you looked so pitiful. You were carrying that box with a plastic bag over it, shielding its contents. I hesitatingly invited you in because you looked so cold. Then you gave me the box. The dress. I looked up and you and you were wearing that smile that cuts straight to my heart. I fell in love with you all over again that day, Duo Maxwell. And I forgave you, too.

We made another appointment; this time you promised to show up. I wore that dress you gave me, Duo. I don't know why I didn't just come by and get you. 'I'll have to come straight from work, I'm pretty busy today.' Whatever. Twice. Twice you left me there alone, feeling like an idiot. I have no idea what that guy thinks about me now. 'I just had a hard day at work…' Not this time, Duo. No more excuses. I can't go through it again. There will never be a Hilde Maxwell, Duo. Sorry.

I still love you, though. I still love you as much as always. I hope I'll get over you someday. I have to. My life will have to go on without you. I hope you find somebody who you really do love with all your heart. I hope you find someone worthy of you. I guess I just wasn't.

Love always"

She hadn't even signed her name. Duo noticed that the ink was smeared in many places by raindrops. Not raindrops, Maxwell. Tears. He had run immediately to her apartment, but she wasn't home. Two days later he returned.

She had moved.

"She didn't leave any forwarding address," the landlord had told him, shrugging. "She just paid her last bills and said she was moving out. I couldn't tell you how to find her."

Dammit. She really did leave.

Forever?

Yeah, forever.

But she said she still loves me!

Shut up, Maxwell. You're an asshole.

Then it was over. He hadn't seen her since.

It had taken Duo about a year to fully get over Hilde. He kept kicking himself for losing such a great thing he had and not doing enough to get it back. Eventually, though, he realised that there was no way he would ever get Hilde back and moved on with his life. His new love interest was Relena Peacecraft.

Just less than a month ago Duo had been invited back down to earth for a Thanksgiving party with the old crew. It was at this party that Relena and Heero had announced that they would be married in April. Although Duo was happy for his old friend and Relena, He knew there was something wrong.

Relena loved Heero. There was no disputing that. But did Heero really love her back? All throughout Duo's stay down on earth, he never once heard Heero tell Relena that he loved her. He never hugged her, never kissed her…hell; he never even smiled at her! And although Relena loved Heero, was she really happy with him?

She knew it too. Heero never showed any outward sign of affection for her. When they announced their plans for their wedding, Relena had thrown her arms around him, bawling tears of happiness, telling him how much she loved him. He didn't do more than nod back at her.

Duo slumped down on his bed. How come Heero get Relena? She's the kind of girl that needs to feel loved. She's pretty, too…

Maxwell, stop it! Thou shalt not covet!

Well, I only want what's best for her…

It was hopeless. He knew he'd never get her, and soon he had damn well better stop pretending, too. She's off limits to me, he thought.

He grabbed his minister's collar and slipped it on. Well, I'd better get going. He picked up his wallet and walked out the door, ready to go shopping for the impending Christmas party.