1. The Family Mess – 5.16 (Dark Side of the Moon)

"Hello? No, John, we're not having this conversation again. ...Think about what?… Two boys at home... Fine, then don't... There's nothing more to talk about." Mary had slammed the phone down on the receiver, finalising the conversation on the phone between her and John as Sam watched the exchange take place quietly.

Even in heaven Dean's life wasn't all candy-canes and lollipops, the younger realised harshly. For the next five minutes, Sam was unable to draw his eyes away from Dean's unfolding memory of their mother, but the younger Winchester's tongue had finally loosened when Mary disappeared in order to find her oldest son some pie.

"What?" Dean questioned sharply, feeling almost defensive about his heaven as Sam stared at him with a horrible mixture of pity and sympathy.

"I just never realised just how long you've been cleaning up Dad's messes." Sam's acknowledged as he leaned against the doorframe to the dinning room inside their childhood home back in Kansas.

Yeah, wasn't that thetruth. Dean shrugged, brushing off his younger brother's piercing comment. Did Sam know just how much that had stung him? Nah, probably not. Sam hadn't meant it like Dean had taken it. The problem was, Sam was far too right. The two of them were up in heaven and once again it boiled down to Dean, cleaning up his family's mess. Only this time it was Sam's mess, not his dad's, because Sammywas the one who, quote, "flicked the switch on the apocalypse" according to the two hunter's―Roy and Walt―that had sent their asses up here, courtesy of three bullets to the chest for the both of them.

Dean was the backbone of his family. Always had been, always would be. It had been hard but, no one had ever said life was fair. It'd never been fair to Dean. He'd just been made to grow up too fast. When Dean had truly started struggling to keep any kind of grip on reality, Sam had stepped in and just barely kept him on the rails, but what about when Dean had been a kid, huh? Oh yeah, he'd never been a kid. Hunters didn't get to be kids. Well, Sammy had… kinda. Dean had made sure Sam had had at least some semblance of a childhood. He didn't resent Sam for living at least part of his life unaware of what really lurked in the shadows, in truth, the reason that Sam had gone so long not knowing what was out there was because Dean had made sure he wouldn't find out. He'd made sure that Sam was kept safe―that he was healthy, clean, well-fed and loved. Dean had always made sure Sam's nightmares were kept at bay. Both imaginary and real.

Before now, Sam had never been there to see the truth of Dean's early childhood, but he was getting a pretty clear image that life hadn't always been peachy. Their parents hadn't always had a happy marriage, not like John had made it out to be for so many years. Dean let out a sigh and Sam looked over, the pity returning as he finally started to understand what Dean had been through. His older brother had given up so much for him and in doing so, Dean had sacrificed his own happiness for the people around him.

Saving people,

Hunting things,

The family…

mess.