Hey, fellas. This is my very first Star Wars fanfic so I ask you to be patient with me and this story and to give it a chance. I hope you will like it.

You guys have fun,

T73.

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I must admit that sometimes I miss the life on my home planet very much. Yes, you heard me correctly. Some days I miss Jakku. There I was only an insignificant scavenger but I didn't know the things I know today. Sometimes ignorance is a blessing. Yes, on those days I wish I was still as ignorant as I was before BB-8 and Finn came into my life. At that time, it was a struggle for survival but all I cared about was having something to eat every day. At that time, I didn't care much about what was happening in the sky at the same time. But in those days, I didn't have to ask myself if I would see those who are very close to my heart again or if they gave their life for the greater good, and I didn't have to wonder what the greater good was at all. I know that I sound selfish at this moment and that Luke and Han would be ashamed after all that they have sacrificed for the rebellion and the freedom of the galaxy.

I can literally hear Luke saying that we are not fighting for ourselves but for those who are oppressed and persecuted by the First Order, that we are no more than a small grain of sand scattering around in space. That we are laying a new foundation for freedom and justice but that it also demands a lot from us. And I hear him say that it will be a very, very long way until we reach our goals although Luke had never said those words but I could see it in his eyes and I could see it in Han's eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if Luke would have chosen this kind of life voluntarily or if he sometimes secretly wished that he got never involved in this war. I know that General Organa never really knew anything else but this war, Luke and I, on the other hand …

Anyway, now is not the time to indulge in a 'What if …'

Today there is no 'What if …' Today there is only the light or the dark side. Good or evil. Freedom or enslavement. Life or death. Again and again I come to this crossroads, again and again, I'm tempted by the dark side. Maybe because I don't really know who I am and the memories of my parents are also fading more. The ones I still have are almost gone, too. It's only a matter of time before the last one has disappeared once and for all. Is that what we really are? Fading memories? Will there even be someone who will appreciate our sacrifice and our legacy?

I don't do all this to make people sing heroic songs about me. I don't do all this to make people write stories about my adventures. I don't do all this to get people to pronounce my name in other galaxies. I do all this because I know what it means to live in the dirt. I do all this because I know what it means to be hungry. I do all this because no other living being should live under such circumstances because I think that everything and everyone has the right to be free. And a little bit I do all of this for a selfish reason. I already mentioned that I finally want to find out who I am and to whom I belong, to what I belong. I have always known that I am different from others, that there is something inside me that only a few people have, but at the same that time I couldn't name it. I couldn't figure this feeling out until I met Kylo Ren for the very first time and told me that this force in me is strong and that he could show me how to use this ability of course for his benefit, and the First Order's. At the imagination to be at his and the First Order's side, my hair stood on end. But at some point, foolish as I was, I had hoped that Kylo could change once again and take the right side, despite the murder of his own father. As I said, foolish as I was. I learned that he was trying to blind me and to get me on his side and I was once more tempted to take it. Kylo told me things during my stay on Luke's island that I wanted to hear, things that made me appear not to be lonely. Things that made me believe that I had a brother in spirit who was misguided and seduced by the dark side of the force.

At that time, unfortunately, I was vulnerable to just about anything, and everyone, and unfortunately neither Luke nor Kylo told me the whole story. Kylo had twisted the facts so much so I'd join him and Luke had omitted some facts because he was ashamed because he was willed to sacrifice his own nephew's life to save those of a billion. I'm not sure if I could make such a momentous decision. I don't even wanna imagine what conflict Luke must have been in when he thought it was the best to end his nephew's life. Can there be a greater sacrifice? I don't think so.

I take a deep breath and look up into the sky as I once did before I was a part of all this before I became painfully aware that my previous life has been a lie, when I still could pretend that there was no greater good. When I had to go out into the desert and exploit the remains of the Star cruisers to live.

Yes, I was a slave but at that time I didn't have to carry the burden of whole galaxies and the resistance on my shoulders. At least on some days, it feels like I am carrying this burden on my own even though I know I am not.

All right, I'm just complaining all the time and almost forgetting to see the good things about it. But to be fair, running into BB-8 was the best thing that happened to me R2-D2, they are much sensitive things that unfortunately can be easily be replaced by humans. These two droids are worth as much to me as any of my breathing friends. They are my friends, they are my brothers. I don't know what I would have down if one of them would have gone. Yeah, you heard me right if one of them would have gone.

If it hadn't been BB-8, I most likely would never have run into Finn. He is very important to me. No one has ever cared about me as much as he does, no one has ever risked their life for me like Finn and Han when I really needed help, no one has ever looked at me the way he does. He is family to me, he's like the brother I never had. Every time we go our separate ways again it tears my heart apart and I know that Finn feels exactly the same way even if he never says it, but sometimes eyes can say more than a thousand words.

I take a deep breath and turn my head just to see that Finn is helping Chewie loading the Millennium Falcon. His movements are cumbersome and he keeps rolling his eyes while our hairy friend is constantly whining. I'm not quite sure if Finn understands what the Wookiee is complaining about but his reactions make me smile a little before I get up and slowly walk in his direction, placing my hand gently on his shoulder.

He pauses and looks at me longer than necessary. "You know you don't have to leave again, don't you, Rey?"

I nod slowly and frown. "I have to do this. I have to do it to find myself before I can help the resistance. Can't you understand that?"

He takes a deep breath and nods slowly. "I do. Just … be careful, Rey."

I smile again and hug him tightly. "We will see again, I know it."

He pulls away and glances at Chewie. "Make sure she comes back in one piece."

The Wookiee agrees with a little too much enthusiasm and we both laugh before we split up. I walk up the Falcon's loading ramp and feel Finn's gaze on my back, which makes me turn around again and raise my hand before the gap finally closes. I take a deep breath and look at my co-pilot. "Let's do this, Chewie."

Chewie groans in agreement and follows me to the cockpit.