In one second it was all over. All of my hopes and dreams buried in the ground, so far below I can no longer reach them. He is gone. The promises I made have vanished, floating away like dandelion petals drifting in the wind.
At first, it is so unbearable; I can hardly believe this is real. I shake him and try to wake him, but no words escape from his lips. Dead. Dead is the word replayed over and over in my head. It can not be. He was just bantering, laughing, walking the way he does just so. Just a moment ago he announced his love for me during the interviews, held my hand till I fell asleep. Was he not? Was everything that happened between us just a sweet dream that I could not bear to believe could ever end? As I stand here broken by this sudden loss and looking at his beautiful face, I realize the answer is yes.
I have lost the one thing I told myself I would hold onto, would hold onto until my death, until a stronger force, stronger than anything ever imaginable, would break us apart. Failing myself, the promise, makes me scream in agony. I scream at Snow, for creating these horrible Hunger Games, which only tightens his grip on the districts and ultimately tears us and our families apart. I scream at myself for utterly falling, falling into a deep grief that covers me in darkness while I suffocate in silence.
The silence overbears me. It makes me feel as though I am no longer human, just a weak under-fed animal that undergoes all of the pain and the suffering in the world; no longer allowed to relish in happiness or anything else except anger and depression.
As I look up, I see the Capitol hovercraft with its long claw extending to pick him up. "No!" I snarl as I frantically pull his body away from the nearing claw. Alarmed, they move it towards him. All that matters is that they can't touch him with their altered bodies and take him away from me. They took his life, wretched it away from my tight grip, but they can't touch his lifeless body.
I cover my body with his, certain that they wouldn't pick up me with the claw. As though they somehow understand, the hovercraft goes off somewhere. I know my time is short until the hovercraft comes to try to take him away again. I won't fight, because it's useless. His spirit and soul are no longer there, the only thing that remains is his body.
I stare into his face, somehow certain that I can talk to him. He may not be in this body, but he's watching me from above. I know he is. "Good-bye…" I whisper as I comb my fingers through his matted hair. I suddenly realize what he wishes, what he desperately needs to hear.
The valley song. The song that made him fall in love with me and made the mockingjays fall silent. As this is his death wish, I sing. And the mockingjays were silent.
