A/N: Written for the Random Generator Challenge on the RANDOM forum, #19 from Glac's list: stress, and for the 5,10,20,50,70,100 fandoms challenge, fandom 80.
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Carrying that Heavy Burden Alone
Stacey felt like her body was carrying some heavy burden, even if she was slimmer now than she'd been for the past several years. It was almost unhealthy, how the skin of her stomach folded in on itself, as though wondering where the contents behind it had gone. And how her skin had grown paler instead of tanner in the New York sun, and how the once smooth skin was now marred with little red rashes. And her eyes would suddenly dance with little spots and she'd wake up to find herself staring at the ceiling again.
But all of that could be fixed. All of that could go away. She could look like she was before…but could she? Everyone was telling her: the doctors, the nurses, her parents…but really, what did her parents know? She was their only child; the only child they could ever have, and she'd been diagnosed with a lifelong disease.
Condition. They called it a condition. Diabetes. But if it was just a condition, why give it a name? Why give it so many guidelines: so many restrictions, so many regulations. It was rewriting her image, and her life. Her parents had changed even more drastically than her health.
She wasn't irresponsible by nature; she knew it was dangerous now, and forever, to not follow the strict dietary regiments set in place. She knew it was dangerous to slip in a hot cross bun when she felt the urge, or order a coke like the rest of her friends when hanging out. She knew she had to stick to what she was given: carrot or celery sticks for snacks, healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners…and the sudden change in diet had really taken its toll in her mind and body and social life. She sat there silently with a half glass of water while they had those chips and cokes and burgers she would have happily gorged before, feeling sad and awkward whenever they looked her way or she looked at them. And, slowly, they stopped inviting her to come, and she stopped going. And then there was school, the way everyone inched away from her, like her sudden diet, rashes and fainting spells were a part of some contagious disease…
Maybe…maybe that weight seemed so much heavier because she seemed to be lugging it along alone.
