Title: Perfect Life
Author: Hoc et Quod
Fandom: Green Lantern: The Animated Series
Characters/Pairings: Razer/Aya
Summary: Razer and Aya attempt to make a life for themselves after the events with Manhunters.
Spoiler warning: Possible spoilers for much of Season 1.5
"Take Aya and go!" Hal Jordan said as he shoved the green and red lanterns into Razer's arms.
"What?" Razer replied as he fumbled slightly with the lanterns.
"If The Guardians get a hold of her, they'll dismantle and erase her for sure. Take her someplace they won't find her. Disappear. We'll tell them you both died in the explosion."
"Hal Jordan, thank you. But for what I have done, I should be terminated," Aya replied. "I will submit myself to the Guardians."
"No!" the three males said in unison.
"It wasn't your fault," Kilowog said. "You weren't yourself."
"But my actions were my own," Aya said.
"'If one regrets one's actions, one should find a way to make restitution'," Razer said. "That is what you said to me."
Aya didn't reply, She merely nodded and took the green lantern from Razer's hand.
"Won't The Guardians be able to track the lantern?" Razer ask.
Hal shook his head. "We lose so many of those things, they don't even bother. Aya will be able to use it to recharge."
Hal turned to Aya and gave her a hug. "Goodbye, Aya."
"Goodbye, Green Lantern Hal. Thank you for everything."
Hal turned to Razer while Kilowog took Aya into a tight hug. "Take care of her, kid. Take care of each other."
"It was an honor fighting along side both of you," Razer said with a salute.
Then they were gone, flying as fast as the could away from the Interceptor and the approaching Green Lantern Corps.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Razer took Aya to Volkreg. I hadn't been his intention to stay. It was merely the first place that came to mind. His original plan was to recuperate and plan their next move. But then they came across a small settlement of Volkregians. Razer thought that his people had been wiped out during the wars. They found even more settlements, none of which realized that the others existed. So Razer and Aya guided them to each other.
They worked hard to help the Volkregians rebuild. Razer was glad to be able to use his Red Lantern powers to build rather than destroy. He worked tirelessly until his ring was completely drained. Then, instead of recharging it, he took it off and stored it away in the back of a closet.
"Would your ring not make the work easier?" Aya asked.
"Yes," Razer replied. "But right now I'd much rather just use my hands and my mind. I don't need the ring anymore."
Aya nodded. "I have never seen you look relaxed."
Razer crossed over to the window and looked out at the growing town. It was still dark but the sun would soon rise and there would be more work to do. "Being here and helping rebuild gives me a sense of accomplishment I've not felt in a long while." He turned back to face Aya. "And how are you feeling?"
"I am fine," Aya said quickly. Then she shook her heard. "Sigh," she muttered. Razer found this incredibly endearing. "That is not true. I still feel regret and remorse for my deeds. I feel as if I have escaped justice."
"If that is the case, then so have I," Razer said, walking over to her, but being careful not to get too close. "I hold just as much responsibility."
Aya shook her head. "That is not true."
They had had this discussion several times with no resolution. So Razer thought it best that they just finally laid it to rest. "It doesn't matter now," he said. "We are here and we should both do our best to make up for our past actions. Even if it takes the rest of our lives."
"Sigh," Aya said again and for a while, they stood in silence.
"I miss Green Lanterns Hal and Kilowog," Aya said, finally. "I wish there was a way we could communicate with them."
"I do, too," Razer admitted. "But that would risk alerting The Guardians and then we would have to run again." I do not want to run. He added to himself.
"I do not want to run," Aya said, as if reading his mind. Though, Razer couldn't tell if it was because she simply wanted to stay here or if she meant to surrender to The Guardians should they be discovered.
Razer turned to look out the window and saw the sky begin to lighten.
"Come," he said. "We have much work to do."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Razer and Aya shared their own little house near the center of the small town. He would have much preferred living on the outskirts, but he was often called upon for his assistance and input from both the elders and the civilians that he realized it would be best to make himself readily available for the time being, at least.
Razer had built it with two separate bedrooms. He chose not to pursue a relationship with Aya, even though he finally admitted to himself that he loved her; truely loved her for herself, not for who she looked like. But he had caused her so much pain that he felt he didn't deserve to be with her. Aya didn't appear eager to continue, which Razer found relieving. At the same time, he felt a great sense of regret. But, he knew he had only himself to blame.
He silently wished Aya happiness and hoped that someday she would find somebody who was worthy of her love. As for him, he had loved and lost twice in his relatively short life and he had quite enough of that. He resolved to be content by himself.
Every morning, when sun rose, they would go out into the community to help in the rebuilding process. They had come a long way from the isolated, scattered settlements. But they still had a long way to go. Razer had refused an official spot on the council of elders, but still sat in on many of the meetings.
Aya helped wherever needed be it shifting large object or making quick calculations. The people were, at first, wary about the strange green lady. But Aya soon endeared herself to them, especially the children.
In the evenings, they would return to their home to work on their personal projects. Volkreg had never been the most advanced planet and much technology was lost during the wars. So Razer and Aya worked on restoring what was lost as well as improving what they already had.
It was a peaceful life, one that Razer thought he would never have again. There was only one thing missing. But it was the one thing he would not allow himself to hope for.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
After the mid-day meeting, Razer did his customary circuit around the small town. He had actually jumped up to fly before he remembered that he had put his ring in storage. Fortunately, nobody seemed to notice.
"Well, walking will do me good," he muttered to himself.
He was passing the schoolhouse when several children ran out to greet him. It would have been difficult for anybody who met him after he became a Red Lantern to believe, but he was quite fond of children. He and Illana had wanted four children, two boys and two girls. Those plans were put on hold when the wars began and ultimately never realized. He still wondered how it would have been if he had stayed with Illana. Would she still be alive or would they have both been amongst the many citizens who died?
He pushed those thoughts aside as the children dragged him into the school to show him their work. They had set up tables and chairs and decorated the walls with their drawings. They were all very excited to start classes.
Razer would have payed more attention, normally, but he was distracted by a constant creaking.
"How long as that been going on?" he asked the children.
"All morning," the oldest told him. "Is it bad?"
Razer's sharp eyes swept across the room and noticed the central post was trembling.
"Get out!" he said.
Before they even moved two steps, the building began falling down around them. Whoever had constructed this building had done a shoddy job.
He reached the door and counted the children as the ran out. There was one missing. He scanned the room and found the missing child hiding beneath a table. Razer quickly darted to him, dodging falling beams.
"Come on," he said, grabbing the boy and picking him up.
Boy in arms, Razer ran toward the door, but a large beam hit him across the back, knocking him off his feet and pinning him to the floor. The boy tumbled out of his arms, toward the door.
"Go!" Razer said and the boy, thankfully, scrambled out the door.
He tried to push the beam off of him, but while the construction was shoddy, the materials were strong and sturdy. He was trapped and he was going to die.
"Illana," he said softly. "I'll see you soon, my love."
Aya, be happy.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Aya! Aya!"
Aya turned to see several people running up to her.
"What is it?"
"It's Razer," one gasped out, bending over to try to catch his breath. "He's at Healer Alystra's. There's been an accident."
Without waiting for more details, Aya flew toward the healer's home. She saw a small group of people gathered outside. They parted as she landed, allowing her to enter. One of the men inside directed her to a room. Inside, she found Healer Alystra bending over a bruised, bloodied and motionless Razer.
"What has happened?" Aya demanded rushing over to Razer.
"The school collapsed. He saved the children and but was trapped inside," the healer replied.
"He still lives," Aya replied, with relief.
"Not for long, I'm afraid, child. We do not have the means to save him. All I can do is make him as comfortable as possible."
Aya stared at the woman as she processed this new information. Razer was going to die. How was that possible? After everything he had been through, all the dangers he had faced, all the battles he had fought, he was going to die here, now that he had finally found some peace?
He was going to die and he was going to leave her alone.
"That is unacceptable," Aya declared.
"There is nothing to be done, Aya," the healer replied.
Aya didn't reply. There was no time to explain that there was something that could be done. Aya ran outside and launched herself into the air and flew straight to their house. Not even bothering with the door, she flew straight into Razer's bedroom window, though the glass. She opened the closet and immediately saw what she was looking for. She grabbed the box and headed back to Razer.
"Child, what are you doing?" Alytra asked, when she entered. "He does not have much time. You must say goodbye to him while you can."
"I do not intend to say goodbye to Razer for a very long time," Aya replied. She placed the box beside the bed and heard Alystra gasp when she pulled out the red lantern. Aya ignored her as she knelt beside Razer and placed the red ring on his hand.
"Razer," Aya called to him. "Razer, please wake up. It's Aya."
Razer's eyes slowly opened and, after a few moments, focused on her.
"Aya," he said, his voice strained. "I'm glad I got to see you one last time."
"Razer, say the Red Lantern oath," Aya told him, holding his hand to the lantern.
"I am not a Red Lantern any more," Razer said.
"But you must say the oath! It is the only way to save your life!" Why won't he say the oath? Does he truly want to die?
"Be happy, Aya" Razer said, his eyes slowly closing again.
"NO!" Aya exclaimed, squeezing his hand tightly. Razer opened his eyes and focused on her again. "I will not be happy if you aren't here. Please, do not go, Razer. I love you."
Razer's eyes widened slightly and then closed again. For a terrifying moment, Aya thought he was still not going to comply. But then she heard him speaking softly.
"With blood and rage of crimson red,
We fill men's souls with darkest dread,
And twist your minds to pain and hate,
We'll burn you all – that is your fate."
There was a flash of red light and Razer cried out in pain. Then he fell into unconsciousness, clad in the familiar Red Lantern uniform.
"Aya! What have you done?" Alystra demanded.
"I have saved his life," Aya replied as she arranged him into a more comfortable position. I hope that he will forgive me.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Aya knew she had acted selfishly. Razer had been at peace with his death. He would have gone on to whatever afterlife there was and been united with his beloved Illana. Or he might have gone on to nothingness, Aya didn't know. But that wasn't going through her mind when she forced him to recite the Red Lantern oath. All she could think was that Razer was dying and she would never see him again, except for in her memories.
Aya always knew she would eventually have to say goodbye to her friends. Even if they weren't killed in battle, all of them would grow old in their own time and eventually pass from this existence. Perhaps she could have accepted that. Perhaps she could have accepted them dying bravely and suddenly in battle. But she couldn't accept this death for Razer, especially since there was a way to save him.
Razer had wanted to die and Aya had forced him to stay. She would have to deal with that when Razer recovered. She wouldn't let him just 'sweep it under the carpet'. They needed to have this conversation and she would make sure they had it. She knew there was a risk of Razer turning from her completely. But at least there would be no more uncertainty. Either way, she would move forward, with or without Razer at her side.
Aya remained at Razer's side the entire night not moving an inch. She remained there in the morning when Alystra came to check in on Razer and would have been there when Razer finally woke up if she hadn't been needed elsewhere.
Razer had been dreaming. It was a rather pleasant dream. Aya had forgiven him and confessed her love. Then there was a lot of red and pain. That part wasn't nearly as pleasant.
"Oh, are you awake?" he heard a female voice say.
"Aya?" he muttered, opening his eyes. But it was the face of Healer Alystra he saw.
She smiled slightly at him. "No, your sweetheart has been called away. I will send for her" She left the room before Razer could correct her about his and Aya's relationship.
Razer sighed and raised his hand to rub his head, only to freeze when he saw what he was wearing. He sat up, ignoring the sharp pain that ran through him, and looked down at his old Red Lantern uniform.
Well, that explains the red and pain, he thought. But if that part wasn't a dream, perhaps...
"Razer!"
Aya rushed into the room, knelt beside him and, without hesitation, took his hand in hers.
"I am glad to see you awake. For a while, I was unsure if even the red ring would be able to save your life."
"I thought it was a dream," Razer admitted as he slowly sunk back onto the bed.
"No," Aya replied. "I forced you to recite the Red Lantern oath to save your life. For that I apologize."
Razer was taken aback by Aya's apology. "Why would you apologize for that?"
"You wanted to die, but I forced you to stay because I did not want you to leave me."
Razer frowned. "I wouldn't say I wanted to die. But I was ready, if it was to be my time. Thanks to you, it was not. There is no need to apologize."
Aya smiled at him. "I am glad to hear that. Now, there is something else I wish to discuss, if you are feeling well enough."
Part of Razer wanted to tell her that he was too tired. But, he suspected that what she wanted to discuss was important so he pushed the pain and weariness aside and nodded for her to continue.
"I love you, Razer." Aya said bluntly. "I said as much earlier, but I wanted to reiterate it in case you thought that was a dream as well."
Razer breathed in sharply at Aya's straightforward confession. Somehow, despite all of the pain he caused her, she still loved him. It didn't seem at fair to her.
"Now, I must ask you," Aya continued. "Do you love me? Please, speak truthfully."
A million thoughts ran through Razer's head. He should tell her 'No'. He should push her away and let her live her life without being burdened by him. But she ask asked for the truth. After everything, he certainly owed her that much.
"I do," he said. "I love you, Aya"
Aya smiled and nodded. "It is settled then. We are now lovers."
"Wait, what?" Razer sputtered. "It is not that easy, Aya."
"Why not?" Aya asked, her smile disappearing. "Are there some extenuating circumstances that prevent this? Is there a ritual that we must first observer? I did not find any customs for such a thing in your culture unless you wish to marry first."
Razer sighed. "It's just...I...we..." Razer paused, trying to collect his thoughts.
He wanted to tell her he didn't deserve her love, but shouldn't that be for her to decide? He wanted to say that he didn't want to cause her more pain, but by pushing her away he would be doing just that. He told himself he was content being alone, but, he finally admitted to himself, he didn't want to be without Aya.
Razer laughed at his own foolish needs and squeezed Aya's hand. "I cannot imagine why you would still want me Aya, but if that is your wish, I will not deny you again."
Aya smiled again and leaned forward. Before Razer knew it, her lips were pressed against his. It was a bit awkward. It was her first kiss, after all. But Razer was sure she'd get better with enough practice. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her toward him. Aya shifted her weight, pressing against him. Unfortunately, with that movement also came the reminder that he was still recovering from life-threatening injuries. He gasped at the pain, breaking the kiss.
"Apologies, Razer," Aya said, quickly shifting off of him.
"It's all right., I got a little carried away, too," Razer replied.
"You should rest," Aya said.
"Will you stay with me?" Razer asked, shifting over to allow enough room on the bed for Aya.
"Of course," she said, slipping in beside him. She took his hand and rested her head against his shoulder.
As Razer drifted off to sleep, he thought about his current life. It wasn't perfect, but right now, with Aya beside him, it was pretty close.
