TITLE: Not Friends
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Sequel to not in love. Sawyer gives Sayid a present.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
Thanks to mrstater for reviewing the chapter, for her suggestions and support.
Sayid stood at the edge of the forest, contemplating his next move. The way he saw it, he had two choices. He could go straight to Sawyer now. Or, he could return to the tent he recently started sharing with Shannon, only to have her tell him to do it.
Ever since Shannon had a conversation with Sawyer that made her realize she was in love with Sayid, and Sayid joked that he should thank Sawyer, Shannon had been pestering him to actually do it. Sayid was beginning to think Shannon enjoyed putting him through this agony. He knew he didn't have a choice about it. Either way, he had to talk to Sawyer, who he tried to avoid as much as possible since he had tortured him.
He closed his eyes as the images flashed through his mind. Unfortunately, Sawyer's face wasn't the only one that haunted him. It was as if someone had a flipbook and all his victims were being shown to him again. He wished he'd been able to shut down his feelings, to detach himself like his superior officers always did. He wished he'd considered what he would have to do before he'd entered the Guard. Not that enrolling had ever really been his idea. He frowned. Or had it been his idea? It had been a part of him for so long, he couldn't even remember anymore.
He sighed deeply. He might as well get this over with. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and began the walk to Sawyer's tent. He was in no mood to deal with Sawyer, but at least Shannon would stop asking him to go. A small smile tugged at his lips as he thought of her lying in her tent -- their tent, he amended, still unused to the idea -- flipping through the magazine she had memorized. Talking to Sawyer was something he would do for her - actually he would do anything she asked of him. A fact that he wasn't sure she realized yet. Or maybe she did, since he was in fact going to talk to Sawyer.
When he arrived at Sawyer's tent, he paused. He had no idea what triggered it, but he found himself thinking of his father. He didn't know where the thoughts had come from. He just suddenly remembered his father's anger and disappointment with him when he had learned that Nadia had shot him. The harsh words of his father had hurt, more than he was willing to admit even now. He still wished that he had been able to tell his father the truth, that Nadia hadn't been the one who shot him, but revealing that would have forced his father to disown him and dishonor the entire family. He tried to shake the thoughts from his mind.
Stepping out of his tent, Sawyer asked, "You going to stand there all day, Muhammad, or do you actually want something?"
Sayid was surprised that the nicknames didn't bother him anymore. He had grown accustomed to them and sometimes even wondered when Sawyer would come up with something new.
"I came to speak with you about what occurred between you and Shannon in the jungle."
Sawyer's eyes darkened. "What'd Princess Jasmine tell you?"
Sayid thought he saw a flash of fear in Sawyer's eyes, but it was quickly extinguished. Sayid looked down at the ground. He did not wish to be feared.
"She informed me that you assisted her in recognizing her feelings."
Sawyer visibly relaxed. "Glad I could help." He smirked. "Is that why you're here?"
He cursed to himself in Arabic, this was not worth it. "I came to thank you for conversing with her."
Sawyer sat down in the sand, lounging back. He shaded his eyes from the sun with his hand. "You came up here, you might as well sit down."
Sayid sat a few feet away facing him, unsure why he had been asked to stay. He was usually better at reading people, but Sawyer was different. He had built so many layers that Sayid never knew what was his truth. He slipped his backpack off and sat it next to him.
"Your idea or Sticks?"
"Sticks?" he asked, unfamiliar with the name.
"The princess," Sawyer answered, rolling his eyes. "I can't imagine my torturer coming out of his way to thank me."
He still didn't understand why Sawyer referred to Shannon as Sticks, but he knew that he didn't like it.
"It was Shannon's idea, however, I made the decision to come speak with you."
"I guess this is a cause for celebration then," he said, standing up. He walked into his tent and Sayid could hear him rummaging through his stuff. He came back out a few seconds later holding a box. "I think you'll be needing these," he said as he threw the box to Sayid.
Sayid caught it easily, but was confused as to why Sawyer would give him anything of his own free will. He turned the box over in his hands and read the label; he could feel the heat flushing his face.
"You know what those are for don't you?" Sawyer asked, snickering. "I don't believe they have a sex ed class her for you to learn from. You're just going to have to find out how flexible Barbie is on your own."
Sayid looked at the box of condoms sitting in his lap as he glared at Sawyer. Of course he knew what they were and how to use them, he just didn't understand why he was holding them.
"I figured we already have one screaming child, we don't need another yet." Sawyer explained. "Consider it an early wedding present."
Sayid slipped the box into his backpack and swung it over his shoulder as he stood up. He was not in the mood to talk with Sawyer anymore.
"Thank you again for talking to Shannon." He hesitated, and added under his breath, "And for the condoms."
"Just doing my part, Ali."
Sayid started to walk away.
"Remember," Sawyer yelled after him, "You ain't never had a friend like me."
Puzzled, Sayid kept walking as he heard Sawyer's laughter. He would have to remember to ask Shannon if she knew what Sawyer was talking about.
Finally, he had returned back to the tent, surprised to find that Shannon wasn't there. He slipped his bag off his shoulder and unzipped it as he sank to the ground. He looked around to make sure no one was around before he carefully pulled out the box of condoms. He tucked a loss strand of hair behind his ear as he tried to figure out exactly why Sawyer had given him these. Not that he minded, but he was still uncertain. He knew that Sawyer had not forgiven him for torturing him for Shannon's inhalers, which made this even more puzzling.
He wondered then if maybe it was nothing but an empty box meant to get his hopes up. He glanced around again to make sure no one saw. He slowly opened the box, positive now that Sawyer had done something to it. He was surprised to find that it was almost completely full. He wasn't sure what to make of that.
"Whatcha looking at?" Shannon suddenly sat beside him.
He jumped startled, dropping the condoms back into his bag before she could see.
Her eyes widened. "You're hiding something." She tried to pull the backpack from him, but he held it tightly. "Is it a surprise? Did you find more shoes?" she asked hopefully.
Sayid could feel his face getting warmer; he wasn't sure how to tell her what he had in his bag. He didn't know how she would react to seeing the condoms. They hadn't progressed that far yet and he didn't want her to think that he was pushing her.
Shannon snaked her arm around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder. "You're not going to tell me are you?"
When he didn't respond, she started kissing his neck. He tried not to respond to her and keep his hand tightly around the bag, but he was powerless to resist her. It didn't take her long to be able to get the backpack away from him.
She smiled triumphantly, "What is it?" She peaked inside and her smile slowly faded. She looked up at him and he was surprised to see tears shining in her eyes.
He looked at her concerned, "Shannon, what's wrong?"
He knew her well enough know to know that she was struggling not to cry. He knew that when she bit her lip the way she was now and wrapped her arms around her stomach, that she was hurting, and he realized that his fear of pressuring her was coming true.
"Why do you have these?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Don't answer that. I know why you have them. This is why you told me you loved me, right? So I would have sex with you."
Sayid had thought he had been confused when Sawyer had given him the condoms, but he was even more confused by Shannon's reaction to them.
"I told you that I love you because that is how I feel."
She continued as if he hadn't said a word. "Did you see me after the crash and think that it would be easy to get me into your bed?" Her tears were falling now, and Sayid ached to pull her in his arms and take her pain away. "Were you planning on breaking these out tonight and then throwing me away?"
He reached out to wipe her tears, but she pulled away. "Shannon, I would never wish to throw you away. I spoke honestly with you when I told you I love you."
She folded her arms across her chest, her expression a mixture of anger and hurt. "Then explain the condoms."
He looked down at the sand, unable to look her in the eyes. "Sawyer gave them to me," he said softly.
"What?" she asked her brow creased in confusion.
He sighed. "Sawyer gave them to me, when I went to thank him for giving you advice."
"Oh," she drew her knees up to her chest. "You didn't have these hidden?"
He shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Sayid. I just thought…"
"That I was using you," he finished for her. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "You do not need to apologize to me." He kissed the top of her head.
"I just…" she hesitated. "I have a bad track record with guys and sex, and I thought maybe you were continuing the pattern. I should have known better," she said, as she snuggled closer to him.
"I will have to show you that I will never treat you like that."
"You are right now."
He sighed, "I do not understand why Sawyer would give me anything."
She shrugged against him, "I don't know, maybe he just wants to be friends."
"Sawyer and I are NOT friends," he insisted.
"Whatever you say." She sat up, pulling away from him, a smile on her face. "Do you think if I go talk to Sawyer that he'll give me a present too?"
He laughed. "And what present would you like?"
She leaned in closer to him and whispered in his ear, "Another box of condoms."
He pulled her back into his arms, as he felt his face flush with the implication of her words.
The End
