Sherlock – War of the heart and soul

Chapter 1- Fallen Solider

Self harm. It's an addiction that is hard to beat and here I was smack in the middle of it.

He hadn't done it in years for he was a teenager then he slipped back to his old ways when he thought Sherlock died it nearly tore him apart.

I've seen war, deaths but to lose your best friend that was different it does some horrible things to you. You lose the will to live it's been a couple of weeks since Sherlock had returned from the dead.

He remember that night he had discovered that Sherlock was alive Sherlock was currently being strangled by John "I think we're done now, John!".

John glared releasing Sherlock from his strong grip "How dare you! Come back here after what you have done I grieved for you Sherlock I felt so guilty for your death you hurt me do you get that".

Sherlock looked at him "I know John but Moriarty have left me with no other choice if I didn't fake my death then his men would kill everyone I cared about which includes you".

John sighed "Next time warn me ….you have no idea what you death his put me through you are my best and only friend.

Sherlock "I apologise...".

3 weeks later and 221 B Baker Street

John hissed as the blade carved a clean slice through fading tanned flesh.

It felt like fire. Beautiful, all consuming fire, and for the first time in 2 years, John felt alive.

John had gone out and bought six cars of cheap, bitter cider he let the can drop alongside the armchair listening to it clank as it landed amongst the others.

He glared at the scars on his arm some new and some old he took out his trusted razor and sliced up his arm just as Mycroft opened the door and stared at John in shock and pity.

Mycroft watched intently as John carved vicious line after line into his fading tanned arms. Thank god Sherlock wasn't home.

He didn't want his brother to have witness John self destruct Mycroft knew Sherlock would be home shortly, Mycroft would be compelled to lie and say all had been quiet, hoping that Sherlock didn't spend too long trying to deduce whether or not his brother was telling the truth.

Mycroft winced as he watched John get more and more aggressive with himself, wondering whether he ought to step in and do something.

He was suddenly very grateful for his earlier decision in coming over he knelt beside a drunk John and pried the blade away from him before he could do anymore damage.

He knew the doctor's past when he was a teenager "Oh John what have we done to you...my brother does love you but he is like a child and doesn't like to show how he really feels".

His attention was once more drawn to the monitor as John stood, removing his old grey t-shirt and wrapped it around his tortured and bleeding arm. Mycroft let out another sigh of relief as the doctor stood and headed to his closet, removing a first aid kit and treating the wounds careful with iodine before lightly bandaging them and slipping a new shirt on with long sleeves.

It was over. For now

Chapter 2- Sherlock and John

All John could smell that Mycroft was still downstairs he walked down to see him fast asleep looking exhausted.

John sighed and made a cup of tea thinking that Sherlock would be through the door any minute "Mycroft" he whispered softly Mycroft awoke and tiredly rubbed his face and looked up at John who smiled down at him softly and handed him a cup of tea.

"Here this should wake you up a bit it has a little bit of brandy in it I apologise for my behaviour last night you didn't need to witness that ….it has been a couple of weeks sense I last relapsed".

Mycroft nodded "You're doing better from the last time I saw you but you need to promise me to at last try and know that again it will hurt my brother and I don't like to see him hurt. If you feel the need to do this again he lightly touched John's arm call me I will be there and I will help you through this".

John looked at the floor ashamed "I will Mycroft I will do my best I love Sherlock to much to hurt him with continuing to do this".

Mycroft nodded with a slight smile "Are you going to tell him how you feel?".

John blushed "I am going to yes when it is the right time I want to tell him everything".

Mycroft "Good well I'll be on my way I'll contact you soon John stay safe"

Later that day John went out to unleash his beast John wiped the small dribble of blood which was slowly descending from the corner of his mouth.

He looked at the blood he had just wiped off his face the doctor had a small ghost smile on his face and turned to leave the dark alley way.

He felt a sharp pain as his fangs retracted back into their normal position. The pain was deliciously sweet causing a small shiver to go down his spine.

He walked along the main road for a while and hailed down a cab.

"221 B Baker Street". John directed the cabbie before licking the area around his lips. He must remove all evidence of his secret.

To avoid his sociopath finding out he knew of Mycroft secret as one day Mycroft after he though Sherlock had died he had cut himself very badly that he would have caused a human to have died.

Mycroft had found him and healed his wounds by making John drink his blood forcing his wounds to close.

John had accidentally called Mycroft a Dhampir (A vampire/human hybrid) out loud and Mycroft had forced his secret out of him and from that day they had become close like brother's.

Mycroft was shocked to learn that John is in fact a Dimidius (A vampire/werewolf hybrid) but he didn't let it show on his face.

Once Sherlock asked him why he worked in a hospital he had to lie and tell him it was because they needed the money. Really he found the blood supply quite useful but recently that hadn't needed him for any shifts for the last few weeks so he had to resort to using humans as providers to feed from.

"Sherlock!" John shouted louder before he bounded into the living room. Sherlock was laying on the couch in his pyjamas and his favourite dressing gown with his hands in a prayer position under his chin.

John started marching on the spot trying to burn the excess energy Sherlock looked at John "You need to stop drinking coffee his making you hyper active and I don't like it".

John stared at Sherlock confused and then nodded and understood what he meant "Fine whatever" Suddenly his phone buzzed he opened it and read the message from Lestrade "Sherlock we have a crime scene to attend to".

Chapter 3- Vampire in hiding

Lestrade led them past the yellow crime scene tape and a spiteful Donovan over to watch the body to where it lay lifeless in the dark alley way.

Sherlock started to manoeuvre his way around the crime scene the genius made noises every now and then as he examined the body remains looking bored but his eyes narrowed as he looked at the man's neck and saw two very small puncture wounds invisible to the human eye.

He seemed interested now "Hmmm" He started to looking at the alley walls seemingly ignoring the body all together.

John on the other hand stood almost ridged to the spot to inspect his handy work he tilted his head.

Sherlock looked up and the doctor once or twice to see him during his observations. The blonde had paled but apart from that he seemed completely unaffected by the body which wasn't normal his eyes were void with any sign of emotion.

Sherlock thought that this was strange for the doctor for he usually was overly sentimental about deaths.

John continued to stare at his victim on hours early was alive with a twinkle in his eyes that had now faded and his eyes now a glazed over with the smell of death lingering on him as he began to decompose.

It made him feel bad for him, really bad, but he couldn't help it.

It's the way he is a monster he hated himself he began to feel the need to cut arise.

He knew that he would be in trouble with his mother when she found out.

She is very important and high rank in their community and in charge of all vampires she had turned him when he was 10 she had adopted him when she rescued him from his abusive parents all those years ago.

He knew that the secret vampire government who inform her they are in charge of keeping an eye on vampire activities and stepping in when it becomes dangerous for either the vampire kind or humans or when actions of a vampire nearly get the whole of the vampire world exposed.

They weren't pleased when John left for Afghanistan they were sure he would break cover and in result get himself and all other vampires exterminated.

"You alright?"Lestrade asked disturbing John's train of thought. "It's just you seem a bit off ….I suppose. I would put it down to seeing a dead body but then again...you've seen worse working with Sherlock and probably worse than that in Afghanistan". Greg laughed without humour.

John took no notice and finally looked up to see Sherlock studying him John "Umm...yeah. I'm alright. Just tired. It's been a long day" John supplied wearily, rubbing a hand over his face. He tried to make it sound realistic but he could still feel the energy surging in his cold veins".

Lestrade nodded and walked off towards Sherlock, who was in the process of giving Anderson a verbal dressing down, to see if he had anything new.

Sherlock nodded still looking bored but his voice laced curiosity "It's not a murder he has died of natural causes it isn't young I would say late 50s a history of heart problems in the family I would say there is no need to investigate".

Lestrade seemed satisfied and nodded "Right everyone clear up it's late time to go home".

Suddenly Sherlock appeared by John's side. "Lestrade is right you know". He told John who he secretly loved with all his heart.

"About what?" John replied, trying to seem confused but he knew exactly what Sherlock was referring to.

"Looking off. As he put it so eloquently. You do".

John frowned he knew he had to tell him the truth bit not in front of his co-workers and Lestrade who was like a father to him.

"I'll tell you later Sherlock but you aren't going to like it".

Sherlock rised an eye brow but said nothing as John walked down a dark alley way

Sherlock lost sight of John and he used his mind map that told him that this back street was a dead end.

Suddenly a man had him at gun point "What are you doing?".

The man hand shook slightly "Give me your wallet now before I blow your brains out right were you stand".

The next thing was a blur for Sherlock. All he saw was a shape spring in front of him when his mind finally caught up he saw John holding the criminal arms above his head.

How had John moved so quickly and why was the felon looking down at John in such terror but confusion at the same time.

The look of terror on the man's face was funny to Sherlock an over protective growl which echoed around the dark alley.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes the growl had sound almost inhuman he then heard something from John's mouth that made his heart beat race.

"You will never attempt to touch my Sherlock Holmes again, he is mine understand".Showing his gleaming white fangs he licked the man's jugular vein feeling the man's pulse quicken and he whispered in the man's ear unaware that Sherlock could hear every word he spoke.

"I will do anything for Sherlock Holmes. Do you understand. I love him yet I hide myself from him because he would reject me for being the bloodthirsty monster I am. You should be very afraid you know I am a beast I am what vampires and werewolves know as a Dimidius do you know what that means?".

The man shivered in fear and gulped "Noo.." he said trembling

"I am part Vampire part Werewolf and you are very lucky it isn't the full moon or I would of tore you to ribbons".

John sank his fangs into the felon's neck and he whimpered begging for his life.

Suddenly he let the criminal go who Sherlock could sense is dead.

John released him and stepped back and looked at what he had done he closed his eyes and started to sob.

Sherlock rushed over to John's side still in shock and confusion his best friend his secret love is a Dimidius.

"John? What's wrong?" Sherlock asked, timid for the first time in his life. He reached out a hand but John stepped back.

"Sherlock, I'm a monster. Don't touch me I'm tainted". John's voice was still hard and cold but it seemed lighter when directed at Sherlock. He maybe a monster but he could still love.

Sherlock placed a hand on John's wrist which made John wince as the detective touched his healing wounds.

"No" Sherlock announced as John tried to get Sherlock to release his grip on his sore wrist.

"Sorry what?" John asked "I said no" he said looking into John's eyes

"I know what you've been hiding from me John, and you need to know that you don't have to hide any more around me nor do you need to do this as he lightly touched his wrist I love you and now I now you feel the same way and through your secrets may be hard to deal with I'm here and I want to help I and my brother are Dhampirs".

John looked guilty "I know I've know for a little while now you brother heal me a couple of weeks after I thought you were dead I hurt myself badly and I wouldn't allow my vampire side to heal he healed me forcefully and I realised then he is a Dhampir I accidentally said it out loud and I was force to tell him my secrets and we became close like brothers. Yesterday he stayed over I had a relapse and I Mycroft looked after me and stayed with me last night while you were out I am glad you weren't there to see me lost control I didn't want to you to hurt because of me nor reject me".

As he struggled to fight back the tears "John I love you and It is my job to look after you know not my brother's I will thank him later reluctantly for him helping you and protecting you when I could not. I will never leave you now your mine forever".

He sadly rolled up John's sleeves to take a look at the damage he'd done he took a look at John's arm and began to to look at the small cuts and scars John tried to struggle out of his grip but Sherlock would have none of it.

As he inspected his tanned arm running a finger across the white and red lines and licked them making John moan in pleasure Sherlock shirked darkly and kissed John passionately he took John in his strong arms and used his vampire speed and got them back to 221B Baker Street he lay John on his bed.

He smirked seductively and go out his phone to text his brother "I know the truth John told me everything when he saved my life tonight he killed the man by the way we need to get rid of the body and evidence. Also I know what happened between you both brother dear. Also I and John are together thought you would like to know SH".

He received a message back from his brother "Everything sorted brother of mine

Take care of him he will be vulnerable after what happened don't let him out of your sight I will be round shortly to check up on you too MH".

Sherlock rolled his eyes and smiled softly "Now where were we?".

Sherlock had grabbed both the doctor's wrists and pinned them above his head. John couldn't take it anymore and let out a heavy, breathy moan.

Sherlock moved his lips to John's neck giving John enough time to breath John stilled had his hands pinned above his head. He cried as Sherlock bit hard into his skin at the base of his neck.

"Sherlock-" John tried to speak as Sherlock was getting more violent every moment. He chose the exact same spot again.

John never knew that pain could feel so good Sherlock looked into John's lustful and loving eyes and spoke softly "Take this pain" as he chose the exact same spot biting harder as it started to bleed.

Sherlock left a trail of bruises from base of John's neck to the back of his ear.

Sherlock "We should get married. People need to know you're off the market" Sherlock spoke as if it was an everyday affair that they get married.

John had tears in his eyes "Yes Sherlock do you mean it do you really want to spend eternity together".

Sherlock smirked and kissed John "Of course I do John".

Soon the kissing was all tongue as they fought for dominant as John held back another moan and whimper "John, I need to..." Sherlock struggled to form a sentence.

"It's okay". John smiled "Come for me Sherlock".

John unzipped Sherlock's trousers and took Sherlock's member into his hand and started to lick from the base to the tip making Sherlock shiver and his hips to thrust.

"Your so beautiful" he whispered as he took Sherlock erection into his warm heated mouth Sherlock inhaled sharply "John..Close..".

John smile and chuckled "Me too" and the next moment Sherlock was shouting John's name and John was shouting his.

Sherlock collapsed as on top of John as he finished up and held John "I've got you".

Chapter 4- Holmes brother

Sherlock glanced at John who had been staring out the window ever since they had got into the car. "Are you going to be like that all month?" he asked. "I already said I was sorry".

John glared but it wasn't meaningful "Don't you see that this is something else than simply...saying something wrong or creating explosive experiments? It's our home. Mrs Hudson had to go to her sister. Who knows when we can return to the flat" he shook his head.

"It's 30 days" Sherlock said promptly. "28 if the we're lucky".

"30 days", John repeated "including Christmas and New Year".

Sherlock frowned "Yes that part is unfortunate. I still say we should have gotten a room somewhere else".

John smiled "I think Mycroft is very kind in letting us stay with him. It has saved us a lot of money" John said.

Sherlock sulked "He is just going to be smug how he got us to finally spend Christmas with him".

John glared at him "Don't let us be kicked out of the house by tonight just because you are stubborn".

"He won''t kick us out" Sherlock said "He's even more stubborn than me".

"Yeah but he can make both are lives a living hell while we're there I'd like a quiet Christmas for once".

Sherlock reached over and took John's hand "John...If you wanted a quiet Christmas, you wouldn't have been with me would you?".

John smirked and kissed Sherlock "I suppose your right when do you plan to tell him about our engagement?".

Sherlock thought and grinned "At the most inconvenient time for him".

When they arrived at Mycroft's mansion, they simply dumped their bags which contained pretty much everything they had been able to save from the flat in their room and then they went to dinner.

Mycroft was waiting by the table, indeed looking smug but very happy. John wished he wouldn't, as he knew that Sherlock would just find away to annoy or tease him.

Sherlock glared at the happy face of his brother but greeted him with a curt "Brother " before sitting down.

John smiled at Mycroft "Is everything to your liking?" Mycroft inquired.

"Everything but its location" Sherlock replied reaching for the bottle of blood wine.

John nudged Sherlock and looked at Mycroft "Everything is fine thank you Mycroft for your hospitality".

Mycroft sent his brother a disturbing look before he smiled back at John and sat down "I'm glad to hear that".

Mycroft asked interested "So John...How exactly did Sherlock manage to blow up the flat this time?".

Sherlock send him a petulant glare and soft began eating again as he picked up his fork. "Ask John it was him that made me blow up the flat as you put it".

"Sherlock was mixing explosives" John quickly said.

Mycroft looked confused and now curious "But Sherlock has been mixing explosives since he was seven" Mycroft frowned "You'd think he gotten the hang of it by now. Sherlock".

Sherlock nodded "Yes, one would think so. But then again, I didn't have such a charming flatmate back then. Quite the contrary actually".

"It sounds like we should mark John as a chemical hazard on our lists" Mycroft smirked as John huffed "It really wasn't my fault. I didn't know Sherlock had suddenly started performing an experiment". Sherlock continued "I didn't know you had other plans I thought you were going to take care of things in the shower".

John rised an amused eye brow at him and Mycroft cleared his throat feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Chapter 5 – Operation Scare Mycroft

Later that night John was happily listening to Sherlock play his violin at the window all of a sudden the detective groaned and flopped in his chair with an ear piercing flourish of the violin.

"What's wrong?".John asked with a sigh.

"Mycroft" he bit out his back early probably wanting to be a nosy bastard".

John sighed "Do you think he'll knock?".

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Does he ever knock?" John smirked before getting up to gently take the violin out of his hands and set it aside.

Sherlock looked up at him, curiosity written on his face, but he didn't say anything as John carefully straddled his lap, placing an almost chaste kiss on his lips. Sherlock was about to ask John just what he thought he was doing when the doctor leaned in again this time for a far less chaste kiss.

"Wait, Mycroft" Sherlock mumbled, pulling back a bit. "He'll be here in a minute".

John smirked, "I know. You can tell me to stop if you want, but this seemed like a better option than torturing him with your violin".

"So you want him to see us?" Sherlock asked, a bit breathless.

He nodded, kissing his neck "Well he already knows and this might get him to shut about whatever he wants. Trust me no brother wants to see their younger siblings doing this".

"That's brilliant" Sherlock murmured, arching up into him. "You're absolutely brilliant".

John answered with a smirk before kissing him again. Long and deep and dirty. He ground his hips down against Sherlock's, forcing the man to let a rather obscene groan just as Mycroft stepped through the door.

Mycroft froze momentarily before taking a deep breath to calm himself. Determined to continue as if nothing was out of the usual was occurring. John gave a him a satisfied smile at the falter in the man's step before moving his attention to Sherlock's neck.

Sherlock for the very first time was unsure how to response to his brother's presence.

"So when were you going to tell me about you engagement I had to find out by one of my minions in the middle of a meeting with Mummy". Mycroft said with just the right amount of disdain slipping into his voice.

Sherlock answered "Yes well, I don't see how that is any of your concern" Sherlock bit out with a glare that was only sightly less severe than usual. "Now is there some other reason for this invasion of privacy".

Mycroft rolled his eyes "Contrary to what you believe. I don't need some sort of motive in order to display familial interest" He faltered a bit when Sherlock let out a groan "Mummy was absolutely thrilled to hear about you're engagement she was relived you actual found someone who could stand you for more than 10 seconds".

Mycroft couldn't keep the faint flush off his cheeks as John switched to the other side if Sherlock's neck and trailing kisses down his neck making Sherlock's eyes fluttered closed and Mycroft's cheeks grew even darker as his brother let out a moan. John smirked to himself at the very obviously awkward break in conversation shutting up the Holmes brothers was definitely an accomplishment to be proud of.

Sherlock arched up into his hand and Mycroft momentarily closed his eyes to compose himself he was about to let his obnoxious little brother and his other half make him loose his cool he was the ice man for god sake. "I must say that I am surprised it has taken you both so long to become engaged Sherlock has never been one to wait before taking want he wants". John grounded his hips into Sherlock hardened groin eliciting a needy whine from the detective and that was all he needed to for Mycroft decided it was time to leave before he was further more scared for life at the sounds his little brother made.

"Well congratulations are in order ...well then I have a very busy-" his voice cracked when Sherlock bit down on John's neck forcing a breathy almost scream from the man "Schedule and I really must be going. Now Important meetings and all" He quickly backed out of the room as he retreated and spoke without waiting for a response, running downstairs as he heard Sherlock let out a definite scream.

"He's gone" John chuckled as he heard the man breathing frantic in the living murmuring about "Scared and for life".

Sherlock grinned his eyes glittered darkly "Good. Don't stop I love you John".

John grinned "I love you too Sherlock and I wasn't planning too".

Chapter 6-Healing the Mind and Soul

Yes it was another nightmare from when he was a child before he was turned.

John gripped his pillow to his side in white hot anger. He turned to see Sherlock still asleep Sherlock had yet to see his upper body yet and this scared John.

His body was damaged and scared Sherlock and Mycroft had offer there assistance if John had ever felt the need arise he couldn't let them down he promised not to slice up his skin.

John got up and quickly changed his clothes he took a quick shower trying his best to ignore the scars on his front and back.

It was a normal day for Sherlock and John. Well as normal as you can get when a genius sociopath Dhampir and army doctor Dimidius chase after a serial killer.

The duo was standing off to the side as Lestrade and Anderson wrestled the suspect down the stairs. The man Luther Clarke, only stop struggling when he glanced at the two. His face twisted into a sadistic grimace ans when he spoke it was deadly quiet tone.

"Jonathan? Jonathan Moriarty? My god it's really you!" The police force turned to the addressed man, who stood so tense that he nearly shook.

"It's a surprise to see you out wandering in the open. I thought when they locked you up in the loony bin you stayed there forever!" The man shouted. There was a stunned silence before John spoke "I have no idea what you are talking about my name is John Watson not Jonathan I think I know my own name and I've never spent time in a mental facility" he mumbled. There was a horrible laughter that sounded like a violin played by a razor.

"Oh this is wonderful you don't remember who you really are do you? What did that doctor do to you what was that bastard's name again ….ah yes Dr. Scott Watson this isn't the psychotic John The Ripper I used to know what happened to your favourite quote "Drug addicts had their drugs. Alcoholics had their bottles. Serial killers had their murders and I have all three".

Lestrade walked up to him and patted John on the shoulder who flinched as he got flash backs "What is he talking about John?". John suddenly grabbed his head it ached as memories hit him with full force he tensed "Memories...Thoughts...Memory blocked...Files locked can't access ….".

Sherlock rushed over and grabbed John's head and made him look at him in the eyes "Shh John I've got you calm down or you'll collapse because of the overload of data".

Clarke cackled "Oh Jonathan still in there he's just been locked up how unfortunate tell me John...do you remember yet...no?" He said in amazement what about what you told Scott Watson?".

John doubled over in pain and screamed in agony "Too many thoughts...memories unlock access granted" Suddenly he gave a twisted grin that made the offices back away and shiver Sherlock narrowed his eyes as he looked at John.

"I have no desire whatever to reform myself my dear John does he loathes me and I him. My only desire is to reform other people who try to reform me like you Dr. Watson and to kill them I've killed many people, how I do love all that blood. We are all evil in some form or another violent delights tend to have violent ends killing is killing whether done for duty, profit or fun. You know I still remembered she screamed. Her screaming was beautiful but truth be told I miss her delightful screams she made".

Sally Donovan turned paled and looked sick "He's a bigger freak then Sherlock is!".

Luther clapped "Oh Jonathan you've still got it my old friend how I've missed the old days when we we're younger ….". with a final squeal of laughter he was dragged back to the holding cell.

Suddenly the doors banged open with Mycroft Holmes and Scott Watson who frown at his son and scowled at Luther "Ah Luther what a pleasant surprise back to your old ways I see. I take it you have been filling in my son of his past".

John froze and looked at his father and gulped "No! Your lying I'm not a murderer! I only kill when I need too please...tell me there has to be some mistake this can't be happening I'm John...I'm John Watson I can't be him I'm not insane like Moriarty he can't be my brother!".

Mycroft looked to John then to Scott and to his brother Sherlock seethed "John is no Moriarty he his kind, loyal and brave he is not anything like Moriarty".

Mycroft sighed "Brother of mine let the man speak he will clear things up now Dr. Watson explain and why have I only found out this information 15 minutes ago?".

Sherlock nodded and hissed "Tell me everything".

John started hyperventilating "I'm a monster ….I'm a freak ….I'm a murderer... I'm a Moriarty".

Sherlock kissed John gently and held him "Shh John don't talk that why I know you and love you no matter what we find out today we'll get through this together you are none of those things you hear me none". He spoke seriously with love in his John.

John nodded holding back tears which threatened to leak from his red rimed eyes