I remember back in April, when I just started writing fanfiction, I read a MaBill story. This pairing was new to me, and I didn't understand how Bill could be human (had the writer ever watched Sock Opera?). I laughed it off, thinking it was just another poor-written story. That is, until I realized it was actually a common pairing.
Seriously, Bill is an evil dream demon! He fails to grasp simple human concepts, such as tickling or weariness! So... love? Sorry, not happening. How would Mabel even have a relationship with an omnipresent being who tried to ruin her family's lives several times? Why would she even fall in love with him?And lastly, BILL CANNOT BECOME A HUMAN.
And don't get me started on BillDip.
I can handle Fiddlestan. I might be able to bear sloppy Dipifica stories. But MaBill is my third least favorite pairing (behind BillDip and Pinecest). And now, I will prove that MaBill can never be.
The Love God used to always be hard at work. From making people fall in love, to brewing love potions, to rap battles with Aphrodite, he was always busy. But since the internet was invented, he got a lot more free time, and enjoyed his position much more. More time for music, more time for sandwiches, and it's way more fun to make people fall in love when you don't do it 24/7.
Oh, and more time for his daughters.
Ah, his beloved daughters. Each of them with a different, lovely personality. Well, all 34.6 billion of them.
Buckle up, because this is going to get complicated.
A curious thing about his daughters is that each of them is the embodiment of love pairings from books, movies, and TV shows. From Harry Potter, to Naruto, to Star vs. the Forces of Evil, there was no pairing left behind. The Love God nicknamed them 'shiplings'. Also, he thought that the most interesting thing was that the very universe he lived in even had pairings.
Each shipling was named after the ship it embodies. There was Dipifica, Melsoos, Wendip, Mermabel, Wampers, Tambie, Grendius, MaBill, Pinecest, BillDip, Candip, Mabifica... the list went on and on. It'd take too long to list and describe all of them, but we'll go over the ones who'll be in this story.
Melsoos (the shipling of Melody and Soos) actually looked a lot like Melody herself. She was 18 years old. Melsoos had a heavy build, with caramel, frizzy hair, and full lips. She was the most mature out of all shiplings, yet, as with Melody, she never wanted to be an adult. However, when danger arises, she'll take a stand and be a leader for everyone. Kinda like Soos.
Dipifica, the shipling of Dipper and Pacifica, was usually the most romantic of the shiplings. If a girl would so much as smile at a boy, she'd already be making wedding plans. She was constantly obsessing over Dipper and Pacifica's relationship, not realizing that 12 years old was way too young for a serious relationship. Dipifica looked a bit like Pacifica, but had shorter and darker hair.
Wendip was the shipling of Wendy and Dipper. Despite that Dipper and Wendy falling in love was proven false, Wendip still had hope for the pairing. She was very tall, and had long, brown hair. She was about 14 years old. Now, this may be a little strange, but Wendip didn't seem to understand that age may interfere with love. In the back of her mind, she knew that it was possible for toddlers to marry the elderly. OK, so it's really strange. Why would she think this? Beats me. Maybe it has something to do with Dipper and Wendy's age gap.
Now, don't think we'd forget MaBill! She looked like Mabel, but with a lot more makeup. If you thought Wendip's perspective on love was weird, this is even stranger. MaBill thought that anyone and anything could fall in love. Humans with animals. Humans with plants. Humans with inanimate objects. While this isn't as creepy as Wendip, it's sorta awkard when somebody's giving their dog a walk and she starts trying to set them up. MaBill doesn't have a firm grasp on what Bill can't do, such as turning human, flirting, and loving.
Lastly, we have BillDip, a blond-haired 11-year-old kid, and one of the rare shiplings who was a boy. His personality? Imagine MaBill's. Then magnify it by 10x. That's BillDip.
Whew! I probably just offended a whole lot of people right now. We haven't even talked about Pinecest or Mabifica yet! But, I'll stop there, and get back to the story.
The Love God crept through the forest, looking for the Gravity Falls shiplings. They always hid out in the forest, usually finding monsters, and getting them to fight.
Finally, he caught sight of the shiplings. "Father!" they squealed, and before the Love God could do anything, he was tackled to the ground getting hugged furiously. Some even tickled him.
"Ha, ha, STOP! Hee hee hee! Okay, get off! That's good! Ha ha ha! Enough!"
Imagine being greeted like this every day.
Once the shiplings got off of the Love God, he cleared his throat. "My daughters! I have good news, and more good news!"
The shiplings sat around the Love God and made an audience, exremely interested.
"The good news is, you have a new sibling!"
The shiplings murmered excitedly.
"Here he is!"
A short, old, fat man appeared next to the Love God. He had a long, scraggly beard, and wore a red cap.
"Say hello to your new brother, Schmendin!"
The shiplings' faces fell. "Schmendin?!"
The Love God beamed. "Yep! The shipling of Schmebulock and Blendin Blandin!"
The shiplings groaned in disgust.
"Gross!"
"They don't even know each other!"
"Why would... It's just... Aah!"
"I think it's cute!"
"You think everything's cute, Pinecest."
"Kill it! Kill it with fire!"
Schmendin just stood there, smiled, and exclaimed. "Schmendin!"
"Wow, dad, that's awesome." deadpanned Dipifica. "But what's the other good news?!"
"Huh?" asked the Love God, slightly confused. "Uh... wait, what was it?... Oh yeah! I found a True Bouquet!"
Everyone gasped and chattered excitedly. A True Bouquet was a dream come true for every shipling that existed. It looked like an ordinary bouquet of flowers, but it could do something much more. You know how at weddings, how the bride throws a bouquet to women for good luck? Well the True Bouquet sorta worked like a love potion. Someone would perform the special True Bouquet Toss, and whoever caught it had a chance to make anybody fall in love with anyone. Mind you, it was only a one-way thing. For example, you can make a man fall in love with a woman, but the woman might not fall in love with him.
With the True Bouquet, the shiplings could make their own pairing become canon. There have already been a few True Bouquets used before, and since then, Dipper became madly in love with Wendy, and Pacifica has a huge crush on Dipper.
The Love God stood still. The shiplings realized he was waiting for him to be quiet, and a hush fell over the area.
"Schmendin!" said Schmendin.
"Okay, let's do the True Bouquet Toss!"
The Love God pulled out the True Bouquet. The flowers were pink roses, and the were slightly shaped like hearts. He swung it around, and around, and around...
Whoosh!
The Bouquet sailed into the air. Up it went! The Bouquet flew so high, that it appeared to shrink. It flew higher, and higher, and higher, and higher...
And higher...
"Uh, I might've thrown it too hard." confessed the Love God sheepishly.
7 hours later
11:03 p.m. The shiplings were in the forest, in their sleeping bags.
MaBill sat up. "Has it come down yet?"
Melsoos, awake and looking into a telescope, searching for the True Bouquet, told MaBill no.
Suddenly, Melsoos jerked. "THERE IT IS! IT'S COMING DOWN!"
All the shiplings rustled in their sleeping bags, but a couple of shiplings shot up instantly: MaBill, Dipifica, Mabifica, BillDip, and Pinecest.
Melsoos chuckled. This would be interesting. You see, shiplings that shipped a pairing that involve one of the same people tended to hate each other. 5 different shipling combinations with only 4 people. Yep, this may get messy.
The shiplings squinted at the sky, seeking for the True Bouquet. Plop! Something landed a few feet behind them. They turned around, seeing a bouquet of flowers next to Wendip's sleeping bag.
They lunged for it, wrestling to get it, when BillDip snuck out of the fight holding the bouquet.
"Ha! I did it! Now to-"
BillDip looked closely at the bouquet. It was just a regular bouquet of red roses.
"Ha! Fooled ya!" exclaimed Wendip, sitting up, with the True Bouquet in her hands. All she had to do was say the pairing. "I ship W-" Wendip was immediately tackled by BillDip, Dipifica, and Pinecest. Even Candip and Fiddlestan woke up, and helped by punching Wendip in the face. MaBill grabbed the True Bouquet, but it got snatched by Mermabel.
Meanwhile, Dipifica, Mabifica, and Pinecest were brawling, even though none of them were close to getting the True Bouquet.
The whole time this was happening, Melsoos and Grendius were watching the fight next to their sleeping dad. They were eating popcorn.
When Mermabel wasn't looking, Wendip replaced the True Bouquet with the normal bouquet of roses. However, a dark hand snatched away the Bouquet. It pulled it up to a figure sitting in a tree. She stood up. It was MaBill.
"I ship MaBill! Bill will fall for Mabel! NOW!" she chanted. The bouquet exploded and turned into a couple of white doves, who flew away into the night sky, while the other shiplings stared at MaBill in defeat.
You weren't expecting all of that, were you? Eh... it sounded better in my head.
Please review: questions, suggestions, request-tions, tell me how it is, answers will be provided!
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ThE sPiRiT oF tHe TrUe BoQuEt
