"Wake up… Connor, wake up!"
"M'tired," he grunted, pushing at the hands that were shaking him. "Five more minutes…"
"Con…" she cooed, her fingers trailing up the inside of his thigh. "Wake up…"
"Yer nothin' but a tease, Bevin Ashford," Connor grumbled, rolling over in bed to face her as he opened his eyes. She giggled, her teeth sinking in to her bottom lip as she looked at him. "Are ye off ta work?"
"Aye," she mocked, trying to copy his accent and failing miserably. "Yeah, I am. I'm going out for dinner tonight with Charlotte, too. You should come along, bring Murphy if you-"
"Have ye still got it in yer head that they'll make a nice couple?" Connor asked her, propping himself up on his elbow as Bevin blushed at being caught out. "Told ye, Bevin. Ain't goin' ta happen. Charlie ain't Murph's type."
"I'm beginning to wonder if women are Murphy's type," Bevin rolled her eyes with a sigh as she hopped off the bed and straightened her pencil skirt out. "Honestly, Con. I haven't seen him with a woman since I've known you guys. I mean, I have, but not properly. Not in a relationship. What exactly is Murphy's type?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. Connor pursed his lips and considered his answer for a moment, debating whether or not to tell her that she was Murphy's type and that, had it been a few years earlier, she probably would have ended up being passed between the twins like a new toy they couldn't get enough of.
"Don't think he's the type ta settle down just yet," Connor told her carefully, shrugging his shoulders. "He's enjoyin' playin' the field a little."
"From what I've gathered, Connor, he's been 'playing the field' for going on ten years now. You'd think he wouldn't have found someone he liked."
"He did find someone he liked," Connor murmured, watching as she walked across the hall and disappeared into the bathroom. "She weren't interested in him, though."
"See that's what I don't understand!" Bevin called, her mouth full before she spat the toothpaste into the sink and quickly checked her reflection. "How can someone just not be interested in Murphy? Or you, for that matter. Surprised some girl hadn't already sunk her claws into you before I came along!"
"Ah, she woulda been no match for ye even if she had, Bevin!" Connor chuckled.
"You're probably right," she pondered, fluffing her hair up a little before walking back into the bedroom and smirking at the sight of her boyfriend lying in bed, his arms behind his head and the duvet pulled up just past his waist. "I probably would have declawed her so I could have had you instead."
"Wouldn't have heard any complaints from me," he grinned. "Have ye absolutely got ta go ta work today?"
"Yes."
"Can't ye be a little late?"
"I'm already a little late," Bevin chuckled as Connor patted her empty side of the bed. "You tired me out last night and I overslept."
"Aye," he smiled proudly, his tone smug as he raised his eyebrows. "I'll tire ye out again tonight."
"Told you, I'm going out tonight," Bevin leaned over him, pecking his lips quickly and pulling away before he had a chance to react. Connor whined, trying to grab on to her waist and huffing when she side-stepped him and grabbed her purse off the dresser. "I can't, I'm already late."
"Just five minutes and then-"
"No," Bevin interrupted him with a shake of her head. "Five minutes with you and I'll end up calling in sick, you know that. I'm going, and I'll see you later."
"Tell Charlie I said hello!" Connor shouted after her as she left the room.
"I will!" she called back, pulling the front door shut after her.
Connor sighed and stared up at the ceiling, chewing on his bottom lip as his mind whirled.
Bevin had been intent on setting his brother up with her best friend for a good few months now, and Connor didn't have the heart to tell her that she was the reason Murphy hadn't been interested to start off with.
Connor knew it was… not necessarily bad, but awkward. Sometimes he felt guilty for Bevin having unknowingly chosen him over his twin, but at the time he wouldn't change the way things had turned out.
He loved her.
She was the first woman he ever really had loved, and he thanked God for her every day.
She'd given him some semblance of a normal life and, after the Saints, that was something he never thought he'd have.
They'd only been back in Ireland for a couple of months, and out of hiding even less, when he'd first met her.
He and Murphy had walked into the small pub with every intention of getting completely hammered and regaling the locals with stories of Boston – that is, until Connor had noticed Murphy freeze beside him, his gaze firmly fixed on a table in the corner of the bar.
Connor had followed his gaze and smirked to himself when he saw the two women sat there. The blonde he knew as Charlie Rourke, she'd grown up and gone to school with the twins, but the last he'd heard of her, she'd moved to London for college a little before he and Murphy left for Boston. The shorter brunette who sat with her was unfamiliar, and she was clearly the one who'd caught his brothers eye.
Charlie had looked up and her eyes had widened when she'd noticed Connor watching. She'd leaned across to her companion and mumbled something, making the other girl turn her head to look at them with a frown.
"Ye want me to go talk to her?" Connor had turned to Murphy and gestured towards the girl, but Murphy had quickly shaken his head and grabbed the collar of Connor's coat, yanking him backwards to stop him making his way over. "She's pretty."
"Aye, she is," Murphy had mumbled, a smirk passing his lips as he picked up his pint. "Though, I thought ye might've had yer eye on Charlie… She's grown. Ye might have a chance wi' her now yer not a nerd."
"Fuck ye, Murph. Was the other way round and ye know it, she used ta chase me all round school!"
"Aye, course she did, God's gift ta women ain't ye?" Murphy raised his eyebrows and Connor had laughed at him, waiting until something else caught his brothers attention before he stepped away from the bar and made his way over to the table, ignoring Murphy's desperate hisses for him to stop. He got close enough to her the darker haired woman ask what was so special about the men at the bar, and he heard Charlie tell her she had to see for herself. He opened his mouth to speak, but a yelp came out when Murphy tackled him and dragged him away.
It was only later, after Connor has successfully plied Murphy with several shots of whiskey, that he was able to make his way over to the table and put in a good word for his brother. He'd barely spoken when Charlie told him to go fuck himself, leaving Connor's mouth to drop open in shock as he stared at her, her friend laughing beside her.
Connor's eyes had immediately snapped to her and he paused, his lips curling into a smile as he listened to her laughing. It was such a simple laugh, he'd heard thousands like them before, but he was mesmerized by it, by the way her nose scrunched up and the crinkles by her eyes, the way her tongue snaked out and licked her bottom lip.
He'd shoved his hands back in his pockets and turned to look over his shoulder at Murphy, who was watching him closely.
"Excuse me a second, ladies…" he'd muttered, making his way back over to his brother and clapping him on the shoulder. "I want her."
"Ye what?" Murphy raised an eyebrow.
"Please, Murph, you got the last one-"
"Aye, and then ye slept wi' her anyway!" Murphy chuckled. "S'ppose I can let ye have this one first…"
"No," Connor shook his head. "No, I want her. Mine."
"Oh," Murphy had frowned at him and Connor had looked pleadingly at him. He'd never been one to beg his brother for anything and he didn't know why, but this was something he knew he had to do. "Aye, go on then," he'd sighed.
"Cheers, little brother," Connor grinned. "Ye can have Charlie, I guess."
Connor grinned at the memory, thankful he hadn't had to plead with Murphy too much.
He knew he would have, if he had to. He didn't know what it was, but he could feel something pulling him towards this girl and he'd spent the rest of the night wooing her, laying on the MacManus charm and trying not to smirk as she laughed at his jokes and Charlie had told her not-so-subtly that if she was going home with Connor, then she could pick her up in the morning.
She'd blushed at Charlie's comment and let Connor know in no uncertain terms that she was not going home with him, that she was there to celebrate Charlotte's birthday and that was all.
He'd asked her if she fancied going for the drink the next night, just the two of them, and Bevin had looked over to get Charlie's okay before she agreed to go with him.
The four of them spent the rest of the night in the corner, Connor and Murphy refusing to let the girls pay for any drinks and when it was time to go, Connor had leaned in for a kiss – only to have Bevin turn her head, his lips landing on her cheek.
"Don't worry," he'd chuckled. "I'll get that kiss off ye tomorrow night."
"I'm sure you will," Bevin smirked up at him, making sure Charlie and Murphy weren't within earshot as she leaned up and planted her lips softly on his cheek and whispered into his ear. "Maybe more, if you play your cards right."
And, oh, had he played his cards right… So much so, that Bevin ended up missing her flight home. He'd done the polite thing and asked for her number, with no real intention of calling her once she left.
She lived in London, what could possibly happen between them?
He'd surprised even himself a week later when he'd hopped on a ferry to Liverpool and caught a train down to London to see her, only calling her when he was stranded at the train station with no idea of where she was.
She'd been shocked – clearly, she hadn't expected to hear from him again, but she was happy she had. She'd cancelled any plans she'd had for the weekend and called in work to book the Monday off, leaving them with three days together.
She'd taken him sightseeing, they'd gone out for something to eat, Connor had actually taken her on a proper date – something he'd never really bothered with before.
He didn't think either of them expected it to get as serious as it had, but he can't say he minded. They'd taken turns every weekend to travel back and between London and Dublin, until Connor had suggested she ask her office for a transfer.
She'd been visibly shocked, her fork halfway to her mouth and her eyes wide as she'd stared at him, Charlie and Murphy turning silent either side of them. She'd resembled a frightened animal, a deer caught in headlights and Connor had tried his hardest not to laugh as she'd stuttered and excused herself from the table, leaving Charlie free to kick Connor in the shin. He'd chuckled, before standing from his seat and following Bevin out of the restaurant.
"Ye alright?"
"After you just sprung that on me in front of my best friend and your brother, you mean?" she'd raised an eyebrow at him, shivering in the cold and rubbing her bare arms. Connor had laughed quietly, moving to stand beside her and wrapping his arms around her waist before kissing her shoulder. "Were you serious, Connor?"
"Course I was serious, wouldn't have said it if I wasn't," he whispered, his lips moving up her neck and kissing behind her ear. "I love ye, Bevin. Seein' ye two days a week isn't enough for me anymore. I want ye here all the time."
"…I could ask them, I suppose," she pondered, staring up at the sky. "It might take a few months to get sorted, I'll have to find a place to live and-"
"What? Why?" Connor frowned, turning her round in his arms. "Bevin… When I said I want ye here all the time, I mean wi' me. I mean I want ye ta live wi' me."
"But Murphy-"
"He won't mind," Connor shook his head. "Murph loves ye too, girl. Granted, not as much as I do, but yer like a sister ta him now. …Ye gotta stop wi' this plan ta set him an' Charlie up, though. It's not goin' very well now, is it?"
"I-" Bevin looked up at him, blinking as a smile spread across her lips. "Are you sure about this? I know you've never- I mean, you're not exactly- with the Saints and everything…" she trailed off and Connor sighed, pulling her towards his body and kissing the top of her head.
"Never been more sure of anythin' in me life, Bevin," he murmured. "The Saints are over with, it's done. The fact ye didn't run a million miles in the
opposite direction when I told ye about it just made me more sure o' this, alright? Is that what yer worried about? Ye don't have ta be. I can keep ye safe if anyone comes lookin' for me or Murph."
"Can you keep yourself safe?" she asked, looking up at him. "Because if we're going to do this, Con… I don't want to wake up one day and have you not be there. I need to know you're safe, you and Murphy."
"Aye, love," Connor grinned down at her, brushing his thumbs against her cheeks as he took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "I told ye. We're done wi' it all. Our lives are here, now. M'not goin' anywhere."
"What if you wake up one day and realise you're not the settling down type? I'll have moved my entire life here and-"
"Bevin," Connor sighed heavily. "Won't happen. I love ye too much. Murph'll tell ye I'm not one ta say that unless I really fuckin' mean it."
"Hmm, Murphy tells me a lot about you, anyway."
"Oh does he, now?" he raised an eyebrow.
"…He really won't mind?" Bevin bit her lip, and Connor shook his head at her as she took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Okay. I'll come live with you."
He'd been ecstatic and the four of them had gotten incredibly drunk that night, Charlie forcing Murphy to escort her home so Connor and Bevin could have some alone time.
That had been 18 months earlier and, a little less than four months after he'd asked her, Bevin had moved in with him and Murphy. It was great, at first. He had his brother and his girl under the same roof… But all too soon he'd noticed the lingering glances from Murphy, the way his hands would brush against Bevin's arm every now and then.
He'd always known Murphy had harboured a crush on her, he just hadn't realised that there was a possibility feelings had started to develop.
He hadn't minded, he knew his brother would never do anything to hurt him and he knew he'd never make a move on Bevin. He hadn't meant to make Murphy feel uncomfortable when he'd questioned him about his feelings, but he had done, nonetheless. Murphy had moved out a few weeks later, going back to live with their Ma and telling Bevin it was only right she shared a house with Connor.
He still saw Murphy every day, nothing had changed between them and Connor was grateful for that.
The last two years had been the best that he could remember.
He sighed, reaching in to the bedside table on his side of the bed – an addition Bevin had made when she'd moved in and taken it upon herself to spruce the place up a little – and pulling out the small velvet box he'd had hidden there for week.
Connor had never been a nervous man, but just turning the box over in his hand sent his stomach in knots.
He knew she wouldn't say no, that wasn't what he was worried about. She loved him and he loved her, he knew she wanted to marry him.
What he didn't know, was whether he could give her the life that she deserved.
He'd never tell anyone, but he worried constantly about someone finding out who he and Murphy were, what they'd done. He was scared someone would come after them, scared they'd take her away as revenge.
And that thought was the thing that kept him awake at night, that thought was the one that made him feel sick to his stomach, but he knew he'd protect her with everything he had.
He knew Murphy would, too.
If it came down to it… He'd kill again. For her.
