The Man Under the Stairs

Dudley Dursley lived at number four Privet Drive with his parents, Vernon and Petunia Dursley , as you probably already know Dudley's cousin lived with him since a very unfortunate car accident killed his parents when he was very young, and another thing, his cousin didn't live with him during the school term, because he went to a boarding school, a boarding school for wizards. His cousin's name was Harry Potter. The events which I am about to tell to you happened at that very time, when Harry was at boarding school and Dudley had just returned home from his secondary school, where he was a bully. Today had been a very good day with business, he had taken twelve kid's lunch money and given quite a few wedgies. When he arrived home, his mother went all over him, hugging and kissing him and asking if he'd had a good day "Has my little Dudley had a nice day? Ooooooooh yes you have!" she hugged him but she couldn't reach all around him because Dudley was approximately the size of a baby dolphin "Ooooooh! Does Dudders want some chocolate? Ooooooh yes he does! Oooooooh yes he does!" she then rushed off into the kitchen to fetch "Dudders" some chocolate, Dudley waddled after her. She came back holding a huge block of chocolate, he grabbed it greedily and scoffed the lot! Then he shouted, "You call that some chocolate? GIMME MORE!"

"Okay darling!" said Petunia, ruffling his hair and saying, "Oh, my baby is a growing lad isn't he?" she rushed away, then shouted, "Oh, darling, we've run out of chocolate! How about some skittles?" Dudley then threw a big tantrum and ran upstairs screaming with Petunia rushing after shouting "Darling, I'm sorry!" Dudley sulked for in his room for ages, he sulked while his father came home, sulked while his mother and father had dinner, he sulked and sulked and sulked! When he thought he should come out, he opened the door to find the house all dark! No light was on! Not even his parent's bedroom light! He decided he'd creep downstairs and raid the fridge, as he walked down the stairs they creaked beneath him, they didn't used to do that! As he neared the kitchen he noticed the cupboard under the stairs where Harry used to sleep had a light on! He was so surprised he opened the door and looked in, it was the normal old place! Someone must've left the light on, he thought but as he turned to leave he heard someone, something prowling round the house, but it wasn't human! It sounded as if it was slithering along, he looked out and then his heart stopped! Outside the cupboard there was a huge snake! Then he heard from behind him a sound of a man, but he was talking like a snake! Hissing and spitting! Dudley was so scared he couldn't move! He tried to scream but nothing came out! And then, the snake turned and slithered away, as if commanded by the voice, but still, Dudley was extremely scared! He was visibly shaking! Or maybe wobbling would be more appropriate? But one of the main reasons Dudley was scared was he had seen something like this happen before, you see, it had been his tenth birthday and he had taken his best friend and goon, Piers to the zoo. Since there was no place for Harry, he had to tag along, when they were at the zoo, a snake had escaped and he was sure Harry had been something to do with it! And now he was near a snake again (although it was getting further away) and he had a funny feeling that something strange was going to happen.. and it did! Dudley slowly turned his shaky head around and found himself face-to-face (or more appropriately eye-to-eye) with a pair of bright red eyes! A small yelp came from the pit of Dudley's throat, then a voice came from the darkness, a low, hissing voice "Boy....come.... here" Dudley turned to run but found himself running into darkness and smoke "Come...back..boyyyyyyy!" cautiously, whimpering he slowly walked into the smoke "Loook..boyyyy!" hissed the voice, and there before Dudley's sunken-in pig eyes and image was forming, it was a moving image, of a huge hall there were lots of children, in robes! With witch's hats on! And they were all eating a huge banquet! Roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, chips, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup and even mint humbugs! He was salivating! But then he saw something that made his blood boil and he got really angry, was, in amongst all the smiling happy children, stuffing his face! Was none other than his cousin Harry! Dudley completely forgot where he was and began screaming, having a huge tantrum! "I WANNA HAVE THE FOOD! HOWCUM HARRY GETS I' AN' I DON'T? 'SNOT FAIR! SNOT FAIR! GIMME SOME!!" he jumped up and down until his face was purple and made the cupboard shake but the voice hissed "Do you rreeeealllly want to go therrrrre? Arrrrrre you surrrre?"

"I DON'T CARE IF I GO THERE OR NO' I JUS' WANNA 'AVE THE FOOOOOOD!"

and then there, in front of him was the largest array of food he had ever seen! All the things he had seen through the portal and more! He ate and ate and ate until he could eat no more, then he ate some more! Soon he was so huge he couldn't move and he just lay there, feeling very pleased for himself! Soon, the voice hissed again "Nowwwwww I have done something forrrrr you, you will havvvve to do something fooor meeeee!"

"No!" said Dudley "What would you need me for? If you could do that, shouldn't you be the happiest person on earth?"

The voice began hissing angrily "Hsssss! How dare you defy meeehow dare you defffy..."

Then the cupboard door was opened by Petunia "Oh Duddykins! What're you doing?"

"Oh nothing!!!" shouted Dudley "Now get me some breakfast, I'm starving!"

THE END.....or is it?