The woes of being a millennial transgender dominatrix

Just some anecdotes about the quirkier aspects of being me

***...

Hi all, author MA7 here, sitting at work waiting for something to happen. Been at work for 2 hours and had one pair of customers in all that time (and no I don't get paid by the hour, I am hired as a commission contractor to let my boss bypass those pesky "minimum wage laws".)

Am considering reading Tomosada's fanfic to fill in time, but I know that if I start reading then a customer will instantly appear to interrupt me (being interrupted when I'm reading something is one of my worst pet peeves). I have filled in a bit of time watching the Eurozone implode economically (Deutschebank shares are now under 10 euros each and is in very serious trouble), but watching the Eurozone crisis worsen gets a bit dull after a while. It's like watching a ship sinking, but a ship that is sinking so slowly that watching it just gets monotonous after a while. (My sincerest sympathies to anyone who lives in the EU who is being effected by the financial problems, it looks pretty rough)

World politics and pet peeves aside, I am at a bit of a loose end (had another customer just now so I was right to not start reading as it would've been super irritating), so felt like filling in some time talking about some of the more noteworthy crazy shit I have encountered and the general woes of my sexuality.

In case anyone hasn't figured out from the stuff I tend to write about, I'm kinky as shit. I am not planning to go into TOO much personal details here, but yeah, kinky. I am also a chronically underemployed millennial in a period of history where houses cost upwards of many hundreds of thousands of dollars, and where weekly rents cost more than my weekly income. So yep, that means living with my parents.

My parents are a bit on the conservative side, and I am terrified of telling them about my gender identity (let alone my sexual tastes), telling your dad that his son is a transsexual is galling for anyone, ESPECIALLY when you have to live with him permanently to avoid homelessness. My doctor is recommending that I delay my hormone therapy and coming out of the closet for the time being due to complications with my home and work situation, and I am inclined to agree.

Coming out of the closet is one of the scariest things ever even when you have your own home to escape to. Coming out of the closet when you have to live permanently with your parents is just terrifying. I am just not that brave.

I am in my early thirties and am married to a bratty little (a biological woman), we got married over 6 years ago and we thought "gee, these housing prices and rents are outrageously expensive. Let's live with my parents TEMPORARILY just until we have built up enough savings to afford to move out..."

The conversation went from this to "hmm these land prices are going up so fast, looks like we have to stay another year with my parents". This then became "Oh My Fucking God! House prices rose by 150 THOUSAND dollars in a single year! How is this even POSSIBLE!" This then inevitably led to "let's face it, we are here for the rest of our lives no matter how many years we save up, we can't even afford the 10 percent deposit, and the required deposit is rising faster over time than we can save up... we will die in my parents house at this rate... why even bother?"

So yeah, unable to ever move out, married and both working but still too poor, in our thirties but can't afford to ever start a family. Ain't capitalism great...

Being in this situation is not compatible with a kinky lifestyle, it isn't even compatible with a normal sex life. We have no privacy at all, and we likely never will any time soon. Here are some examples.

Example 1

My wife and I are in bed initiating intimacy, not yet getting kinky, just warming up.

Mum opens the door and enters the room unexpectedly.

Mum- "I found this in the laundry, is this yours?"

Wife and I rush to cover up.

Mum very VERY gradually figures out that this REALLY is not a good time to enter the bedroom and leaves embarrassed.

Wife and I - far too spooked to resume intimacy for the rest of the day.

Example 2

Having sex. Suddenly hear my father very loudly pottering around outside our bedroom door, looking at books on the bookshelf.

Wife and I immediately freeze and very cautiously listen to see if he will go away. Not wanting him to hear us.

Pottering around continues right outside the door. We wait, and wait, and wait.

30 minutes later he is STILL loudly pottering around just outside our door. The mood is completely ruined by this point and we are totally spooked for like the next 24 hours.

He KEEPS pottering around for even longer. We die a little bit inside.

Example 3

We have actually managed to have kinky fun time without being interrupted, finish up, get dressed, but leave the handcuffs dangling from the bars at the head of the bed for the moment, because they have dropped down the back of the mattress out of sight, and we had not yet gotten around to putting them away yet.

Dad enters room uninvited with a tape measure wanting to measure the walls (God only knows why), and immediately wants to pull the bed away from the wall to measure (I swear that this actually happened, can't remember the exact details but this actually happened!)! My wife is then frantically trying to distract him while I try to hide the handcuffs so he won't see them, but it's impossible to get the handcuffs without him seeing as he is right in the fucking room already!

My wife and I had the devil of a time keeping him from pulling out the damn bed and seeing the handcuffs. My dad takes his "property rights" very seriously and insists that he can enter any room in "his property" whenever and however he sees fit, rubbing it in our faces that we would be homeless without him letting us stay. It was just a fucking nightmare!

There are other examples of how our dependence on my parents to avoid homelessness has completely destroyed all feelings we have of having any actual privacy to even just have sex as a married couple. Being a millennial just absolutely SUCKS! Sure we could be like starving to death on Pluto or some other shit that ass holes say every time a millennial complains, but just piss off with such arguments, it's extremely irritating to hear that shit.

***...

Being a kinky married couple with kinky needs, we have tried all sorts of things to circumvent our appalling lack of the most basic privacy, but capitalist society keeps coming along and stomping on every solution we find.

Solution 1 - play bondage games in the car.

So we are parked somewhere secluded, in the back seat of the car enjoying some naked rope bondage. It's going great.

Then suddenly there is some kid on a fucking push bike riding around in the secluded location we had found! I swear that Australia (where we live) is just INFESTED with kids on bikes or adults on dirt bikes who want to explore EVERY single dirt track or out of the way place in the fucking country!

We could not have stopped our play time any fucking faster than we did when the child on a bike was suddenly riding laps of where we were!

Solution 2 - rent a motel/hotel.

We then check the cheapest motels/hotels available, and they want like $200 per DAY! That's like almost my whole weekly earnings! It would be cheaper to rent a fucking HOUSE than pay 200 a night at a motel!

We have been to motels occasionally, and they are wonderful, but we just can't afford to spend 200 dollars every time we want to have sex, it's outrageously expensive. Maybe in other countries with cheap motels this solution could work, but Australian motels are just stupidly expensive, otherwise millennials all over the country would just live permanently in the motels instead of paying like $500 per week in rent to rent homes.

Solution 3 - buy a tent and go camping.

Did buy a tent, but the same problem as solution 1, damn kids on bikes and hikers and other people during the day. Too cold and uncomfortable to play bondage games in a tent at night, or too hot. Australia has too basic night time temperatures outdoors, either far too hot or see your breath cold. Also did I mention kids on bikes?

Solution 4 - buy a second hand houseboat.

Finally an affordable solution to give us hundreds of meters of empty solitary space all around us to give us some damned privacy. Middle of the lake or sea, no one around, perfect.

Then looked at mooring costs to rent the cheapest moorings for a houseboat and screamed. The marina moorings are more expensive to rent than houses on land! Again this is to stop the suffocating millennials from living on houseboats to avoid paying exorbitant rents (the housing lobby sure have tied things all up in a neat bow to force people to pay everything they own in rent, they really should be gulaged for this).

I could go on, but the entire Australian property market is basically an investment portfolio carefully designed to strangle the entire incomes of an entire generation so that billionaires like James Packer can afford more yachts. (FYI the former, well to protect his identity I won't say exactly what he did, but a guy who used to work on one of James Packer's many huge luxury yachts is best friends with my dad. James Packer the Australian Billionaire literally lives on a giant fully crewed luxury yacht and fucks Australian super models, he has never worked an honest day's work in his life, he was just born the son of the late billionaire Kerry Packer, who was himself the son of another billionaire. These pricks don't work, they are just born owning all this stuff they inherited that WE all have to pay rent on).

Interestingly I did find a tiny (and I mean really SMALL) patch of land advertised for sale for $20000 which is something we could actually eventually save up enough to afford. This patch of land had no sewers, no water, no power, oh and it was also right in the middle of the Australian desert and absolutely no where near any conceivable means of employment. Completely fucking useless, but still 20 grand, that says a lot about our housing market.

***...

Ok so the lack of privacy is pretty well established, it is a source of great personal pain to us. The only way we are getting a house (short of a much needed socialist revolution) is if some beloved relative snuffs it and we inherit from them. How lovely...

Huge empty Australian continent (but infested with kids on bikes nonetheless), tiny population relative to aforementioned huge empty continent, first world economy that is perfectly able to build heaps of new houses for everyone, and yet an entire generation can't afford houses even if two working people combine their incomes. Isn't capitalism a beautiful institution?

I sure hope that you like your yacht and super models billionaires, I also hope that you are all reincarnated as a dung beetle.

***...

Ok, so our kinky lifestyle is pretty limited in real life. Enter the miracle of the Internet to scratch that private itch.

On the internet at least it is possible to play make believe with text based kinky role play, and that works wonderfully.

Then add the one hitch in this plan - horny creepy men on the internet. Um yay?

As mentioned in the title, I am a dominatrix in my personal sex life (well actually I switch, but mostly I am the dominatrix role). Basically I enjoy tying my partners up and doing various stuff to them and being dominant, basically I do dominatrix type stuff and I identify as a dominatrix.

I am ALSO a MARRIED dominatrix in a committed relationship, and don't really tend to appreciate having horny men all over the internet harassing me. It's a pretty simple concept, but a scarily large multitude of guys just don't seem to get this very simple concept.

I don't know how accurate this is, but I have seen figures stating that in the BDSM community, 97 percent of females are submissive and only 3 percent dominatrix, but that 75 percent of men are dominant and a whopping 25 percent of men are submissive...

When this 25 percent of guys who are submissive are vying to get one of these only 3 percent of women who are dominant, the resulting feeding frenzy over each available dominatrix is just a complete nightmare if you happen to be in that 3 percent like I am. It's like they are saying "Dommes are super rare, so that means you have a DUTY to make yourself available to every submissive guy"...

Add into the fact that I am transgender and it makes the frenzy even worse. Millions of submissive guys out there fantasise about being dominated and soddomised by a "chick with a dick". It's a massive fetish for a lot of people, and when they find one of the few of us trans women who are actually a dominatrix, they go absolutely mental in ways that are beyond madness.

It's an absolute pain in the ass, especially on Facebook. I might be (as a recent example) on Facebook talking to friends about the Royal wedding as it was being live streamed on the television. One minute looking at her dress, the next thing I know some total creep that I don't even know is video calling me begging me to "use his mouth as my toilet" (I swear to god I WISH that I was making this shit up, this 100 percent really happened to me during the live showing of Prince Harry getting married)!

I mean honestly, WHY is this sort of thing happening to me? Did I do something awful in a past life to condemn me to having unknown strangers on Facebook randomly ringing me up begging me to shit in their mouths!? Why God WHY!

I of course went "ewwwwwww! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" But it still completely ruined the rest of the royal wedding for me. This sort of random daily harassment is a fact of life for me. It's stranger than the stuff I write in my fanfics.

Oh, and then there was the guy who randomly carved my name into his arm with a knife and sent me a photo of it. I hadn't in any way ever SUGGESTED that he do something so insane, I had no idea he was doing it until he suddenly sent me a photo of it. I almost needed counselling after seeing that! It was just so horrible to see my name carved into his arm like that, it made me feel profoundly disturbed.

I think that I should call it a day and finish this here. I might add additional chapters to this. Just glad my shift is finally over, it got really busy and took me over 6 hours to write this in little stops and starts. Home now, snug in bed, and watching the Solo movie tomorrow (my wife wants to watch it, I hadn't even heard of it).

Good night from MA7 :)