"Damsel in Distress"
By animefan752
Full Summary: The absurd scheme of causing the refined Princess Zelda, — who was an elegant damsel of utmost grace and proper etiquette, — to be in distress certainly wasn't the brightest idea in the world. Although, a particular young man already plotted this out beforehand, how he would "skillfully defeat" his enemy and "gallantly rescue" the helpless damsel. But yeah, right! Oh, Princess Zelda was most definitely capable of defending herself when it came to brawls. Besides, the foolish green youth wasn't the only one who planned ahead. Perhaps someone else had something hidden up their sleeves — oh, but that's a surprise!
Caution: Well the damsel surely isn't who you would expect, that's for certain. Really, though, there's nothing too dreadful to warn you about throughout the story, my beloved readers. The most "terrifying" part about this story is the mentioned yaoi, otherwise known as the lovable intimacy or relationship between two males.
Disclaimer: Super Smash Bros doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Nintendo and company, respectively.
Side Note: I'm giving Link a new personality in this fanfic! Here, he's reckless and stubborn to the point of aggravation, rather than friendly and kind with sympathetic friends of many. Here, he's difficult to convince otherwise in any argument, unless the perfectly valid evidence is present. I mean, I honestly do think it's amusing to see Link with such a crude personality. Of course, personally, I think he's naturally adorable, levelheaded, compassionate, and friendly — but I'm here to provide some variation! In this fanfic, the lovable Hylian's narrow-minded and pigheaded and arrogant, and he pursues after Princess Zelda's complete adoration as a heroic individual. But of course, does he even prove his worth in this fanfic? Perhaps. I suppose the only way you'll know is if you read on!
Another Side Note: The brief battle in the fanfic takes place at the original battlefield of Super Smash Bros Brawl — you know; that pale violet place with the few floating platforms and the alternating background from day to night? I mean, of course the setting here isn't exactly the most important, but maybe it's possible the atmosphere sets a better mood?
A/N: The perspective changes with every written section, so that way, the whole entire story won't be mistakenly biased and pathetically one-sided to only one point of view. Oh, and also, know that it's not my intention to incorporate the French into the story only to confuse you! Think of it this way: it's just a rather pointless opportunity to learn that little bit more French! Also, I'm horribly uncreative in how to divide the story into sections artistically, so, you'll have to deal with it.
Enjoy, my beloved readers, and relish in my fleeting motivation to write for I bring you a fresh new story!
Le véritable amour est toujours une surprise!
"Okay? Do you understand me? Are we finally in agreement? Do you completely comprehend the idea of what I — I mean, what we have planned?" Determined and perhaps almost idiotically stubborn, the youthful male consulted about this mysterious scheme with his accomplice, who huffed with a flare of his nostrils. Although, the motivated blond didn't seem to be entirely convinced with the gorilla's honesty and intellectual capacity as he furrowed his golden brows over his cerulean eyes, haughtily folding his slender arms across his chest. "Well, do you?"
Sighing and slightly irritated with the Hylian's persistent shoves of inconsideration, the chocolate-brown ape responded with a firm nod. Despite this, the impatient blond still pressured him with his ignorance, pouting quite immaturely.
Oh, his bothersome pigheadedness was identical to a consistent thorn at his side, which pressed into the unharmed skin of the innocent! And, only until the pushy Hylian's undesirable wishes were granted, only until the stubborn blond obtained his every unachievable goal would he release such an aggravating grasp — ah, well certainly, the childish Hylian had always been like this, hopelessly reckless and hasty with every feat he proclaimed was absolutely necessary to pursue himself. If anything, the impossible blond was a naïve toddler full of needless enthusiasm and fervor. He would plunge straight into the countless dangers of battle without the slightest concern for his own safety. He would completely disregard the protests of his admirable friends as he thoughtlessly tailed his enemies. Well, sure, he was courageous and bold, but was there really any need to risk everything so carelessly? Certainly not!
"Well, just in case the information hasn't been firmly planted in your thick monkey head, allow me to repeat myself." Pretentiously, a charming grin accommodated the blond Hylian's youthful face as the ape grumbled angrily. "Alright, so, with the fixed brawl intact on the board, we'll arrive on the battlefield and act innocent; no one should suspect us of anything. Then, as if you have any reason to, you grab ahold of the Princess at one point — oh, but make certain to hold her carefully, okay? She's very gentle and very delicate, and I don't want your giant ape hands hurting her — but you must make it believable! And so then, of course, I'll make my grand appearance and be the brave hero that I am. I'll immediately come to her rescue, and after that, we'll fall deeply in love! And then we all live happily ever after."
Oh, what a ridiculous plan!
"You know I'm not expecting a lot out of you, right, Donkey Kong? With such a brilliant plan, we can't fail! Well, that is, as long as you don't trouble me too much, there should be no problem. Oh, and about whoever the fourth Brawler is, we'll just ignore them and quickly maneuver our way past whenever they're in the way. Oh, and also, prepare yourself when I aim directly at you, because I don't plan on wasting my precious time on warning you earlier. Okay? Heed your surroundings, and be sure to handle the Princess extra carefully, alright? I won't tolerate it if she complains about your grasp — oh, and you better not hold her inappropriately! Do you hear me? I'll brawl you seriously if you have bad intentions! It's not part of the deal! Okay, DK? Hey—"
Oh, what a ridiculous nag! Oh, what a difficult chatterbox!
Again, the exasperated ape nodded according to the Hylian's nitpicky points and impossible wishes — but yeah, right! With such an unattainable objective in mind, the blond would be incredibly fortunate to ever be capable of accomplishing such a feat. Oh, well, there was no helping Link's dogged insistence on the matter, Donkey Kong finally decided, as they were eventually dismissed to their own respective areas upon the battlefield.
Aimez-moi, s'il vous plaît.
Oh, that day was the one destined day — Link would finally reach for his ridiculously unfeasible goal. On that one fated day would the reckless Hylian perform his ultimate ploy, — of course with Donkey Kong's scheduled actions as Link's predetermined enemy. Well, what was there to lose?
And so, as the four supposedly "random" Brawlers appeared among the separate platforms of the frequent battlefield, the mischievous blond couldn't help but feel both ends of his lusciously pink lips pull into a naughty smile. Then, his fair cheeks collectively rose in temperature of warmth, considerably reddening when his body responded in tickled giggles through the teleportation — something the Hylian simply hadn't grown accustomed to yet, regardless of his repeated experience with it; Link was just exceedingly ticklish, almost unreasonably ticklish.
But enough about that! What did it matter how incredibly childish Link's sensitive body reacted towards something as preposterous and silly as the humorously tickling transfer from Smash Mansion to a stage? For now, the immature Hylian had more important matters to dwell on. Soon, the two essential pieces of the puzzle would emerge upon the ephemeral battlefield, each distinguishable figure quickly developing.
That was when the significant two, the gorilla Donkey Kong and the refined Princess Zelda appeared upon the dispersed and isolated areas of the regular platform. Prideful and perhaps remarkably excited about the strategy he'd concocted earlier, Link swallowed his imperative anxieties and cheerfully lifted his golden head. Feigning, it was as if he was gathering the tactful information of his surroundings, when really, the certain Brawlers of the melee have completely drawn his attention. Apparently, while the elegant Princess Zelda stood gracefully upon her own platform — within Donkey Kong's pathetically short reach, — Link was on the entire opposite of the stage's plain battlefield.
Ah, and the fourth and insignificant Brawler, the bold mercenary Ike, he was off somewhere, — but the blond Hylian honestly couldn't care less about his current location.
Swiftly and effortlessly, Link drew the breathtaking Master Sword out of its extravagant sheath upon his back and poised himself into his fighting stance, attempting to make his appearance entirely serious and not at all devious or conniving.
"Three, two, one—" Time didn't hesitate to start the preordained brawl. "—Go!"
Quickly, quickly, I must approach them and make sure—
"—Ha, you've let your guard down, Link!" The mercenary's sonorous voice suddenly pierced the thick air around them, instantly catching the petit Hylian's focused attention.
Fervently, the two Brawlers casually yet quite eagerly accepted one another's request for action. They lunged and thrust their own distinct swords forward, each valiant individual courageously wearing their determined blue eyes and heaving with strained breaths. "Oh, not so fast, Ike! I don't think you should be boasting when you're so vulnerable to my attacks — hah! Take that!"
As the blond Hylian and the navy mercenary exchanged relentless assaults and unyielding attacks of the uttermost dignified manner, Link could've almost sworn by the Great Goddesses above he was mistaken and lost track of precious time! Well, the petit Hylian was definitely aware of the solid and helpless fact that while he attentively hoisted himself and fought diligently from one edge of the simplistic stadium, the elegant Princess Zelda poised herself on the direct opposite end. Oh, Link's valuable time would be wasted, hopelessly spent on worthless attempts of innocence and feeble spars with Ike. It was true that his plan was to dismiss the suspicions that might come across him, but that wasn't important then! This was brawl! Everyone was absolutely required to focus on their intolerable opponents rather than to be occupied with other matters.
But then, what of the devious Hylian's victorious plan? At the moment, time still refused to stop; two brief minutes have actually already passed, causing Link to drown in fleeting apprehension, in petrified fear of the thought that his grand scheme would fail miserably. Fretful, Link pondered over the several possibilities as to the potential reason for such crude delay. Had Donkey Kong foolishly forgotten what they previously discussed? Increasingly upset, the golden-haired Hylian nervously chewed on his soft bottom lip as he shoved past the incredulous mercenary. With every haste step, Link's blond strands of hair glided across his troubled expression, flying away from his scarlet face like freshly drawn curtains of gold silk.
Resolute on his remorseless advance towards the frivolous ape, Link easily dashed past the staggered mercenary, pretending to attack the chocolate-brown Donkey Kong with a false slash on his incredibly broad back.
"Donkey Kong!" The blond Hylian hissed angrily beneath his fatigued breaths and valorously hurdled over Donkey Kong's bulky head, in order to deceitfully imitate the evading dodge of an assault. Those deep pools of cerulean blue submerged in aquamarine hues were engulfed in fury and anxiety, harshly bombarding the ape with glowers of sweetly poisoned daggers. "You were supposed to take Zelda as hostage minutes ago! What in the world do you think you're doing?"
With bitter grimaces aimed directly and quite rudely at the frustrated ape, Link scowled as a random star rod hovered unpredictably over his blond head.
Lingering futilely in his own conceit and dwelling on his own self-centered problems, the petit Hylian ignorantly leapt off of Donkey Kong's hefty build — disregarding the gorilla's irritated grumbling from underneath — in a casual attempt to quickly snatch the colorful item above him, but the aggravated ape huffed heatedly and roared at the arrogant Hylian, refusing to grant him the obligated permission to do as he pleased. Enough was enough! No longer would Donkey Kong generously tolerate and comply with Link's ignorant and incessant demands, firmly grasping onto him by his leather-bound foot just as the blond Hylian gallantly landed on his shoulder to send him discreet messages.
And, at that exact moment, did Donkey Kong angrily hurl Link up into the everlasting sky hanging wistfully over their heads. Immediately, the astonished Hylian felt the vast air escape from both around and within his petit figure, gasping helplessly out of absolute surprise. Of course, they — at least he didn't plan this. This definitely wasn't supposed to happen!
In fact, Link even felt the urgent need to clench graciously at his trademark hat simply to retain its place, sheepishly concerned it would suddenly slither off. Oh, the flustered Hylian couldn't contain the frantic hysteria that enveloped him now, swallowing him up whole and ailing him with dreadful humiliation. As the detailed trimmings of his cotton green tunic lifted, his golden locks flew also, abruptly parting from the nervously clammy surface of his forehead. Oh, the breezy wind completely overwhelmed him and in an instant Link felt remarkably ticklish and frenzied; it was as though he suddenly became a parachute, ballooning and bloating and billowing with the air that occupied every space within his delicate seams. Tremendously embarrassed, the mortified Hylian felt his entire face grow immensely hot, his tenderly warm temperature rocketing.
And if crossly heaving him into the perpetual air wasn't surprising — or rather, absolutely humiliating, — enough, Donkey Kong snatched him unexpectedly from his mid-air bewilderment.
That chocolate-brown ape utterly spoiled their brilliant plan, as if with unforeseen objectives of his own, thwarting their efforts and hoisting the defiant Hylian above his monkey head. At that moment, Donkey Kong bellowed with a triumphant roar as Link flailed, thrashed, and kicked his feet in heated frustration. Regardless, they were all vainly stupid attempts, because he remained confined in place. At that exact moment, with the slightest deliberation on the matter, Link feverishly decided never to trust such fickle primates ever again!
"Let go of me! Release me, Donkey Kong! You've betrayed my honest word; what about the deal we agreed upon?" Panicked and irate, the animated Hylian blathered on hopelessly, producing a futile banter that Donkey Kong didn't respond to anyhow.
Instead, the huffing ape eagerly seized Link's floundering arms, securely restricting him into his custody by firmly arresting the anxious Hylian's limbs. Well, at least he was wholeheartedly permitted to thrash and kick those slender legs as much as he'd like, but, oh — this was precisely how Donkey Kong would restrain the elegant Princesses Peach or Zelda, or perhaps even the tomboyish Samus! Why, where did this unanticipated impulse to capture Link come from? Oh, that deceitful ape raised someone as they had planned exactly, but, but! Donkey Kong was horribly mistaken; he was strictly supposed to capture the graceful Princess Zelda!
Besides, he was extremely ticklish!
Frantically, the restless Hylian quickly glanced at his nearby surroundings, as if searching madly for some merciful assistance, struggling and failing miserably to liberate himself from Donkey Kong's clutches. At one point in time, Link's gorgeous cerulean eyes fleetingly glimpsed at the other two Brawlers, who were rather startled. Oh, instantly Link blushed furiously at the measly sight of Ike and Princess Zelda. How would they react to this?
Well, the handsome mercenary and the refined Princess Zelda certainly witnessed all of that, appearing far more surprised than compelled to ridicule, a scattered expression adorning each of their dazed faces. What an absolute relief; at least they were kindly courteous enough to restrain their humored laughing or something of the sort.
Vous appartenez à lui, et il vous appartient.
Beholding her staggered friend, — who was brusquely abducted in that humiliating fashion, — must have been such a painfully embarrassing experience for him. For a mere moment, it bestowed upon the nimble Princess Zelda the slightest pang of guilt and remorse, what with the flustered expression gracing Link's cherubic face. Although, this certainly was a part of her clever plan, so she graciously pushed the feeling of fault, blame, and repentance away. In a casual attempt to distract herself, Princess Zelda gladly stole a glance at the compassionate mercenary.
Upon his handsomely weary face, this particularly solemn guise accommodated it, glistening dewdrops of hard-earned sweat tumbling off of his chin and coolly perishing into thin air. And, in the briefest of ephemeral moments, from the corner of her sharp eyes, the delighted Princess Zelda cleverly detected a resolute glint, a spark of determination that flashed brilliantly in Ike's navy blue irises.
Oh, she simply had to restrain herself from smirking so deviously; it was hardly flattering or mannerly well-behaved. However, she just couldn't help herself, her two pink lips pursing softly into a mischievous curl of a grin. Her plan was working.
"Ah! Donkey Kong, y-you foolish gorilla! I say, let me go!" Despite his ineffective attempts, Link hastily persisted against his captor and squirmed in Donkey Kong's sturdy hands. Oh, that was when Princess Zelda truly felt each side of her pleased lips lift. "It's not me you're after! Ugh, release me!"
Oh, wait. That was "not" good.
As the contented Princess mistakenly smiled, she realized her thoughtful associate, Ike, — who was just previously beside her, — suddenly vanished from her sight. Well, it definitely was amazing how fast that affectionate mercenary could travel when he was in the right mood, regardless of his generally pathetic pace which was considerably slower than even that renowned turtle, Bowser. Oh, Princess Zelda could effortlessly determine the plain reasoning behind Ike's immediate willpower, it was just —
Vous aimez-moi, n'est pas?
With an abundantly brimming devotion, the passionate mercenary shredded towards the gorilla, tearing through the potential obstacles that currently hindered him. Dedicated to his present actions, Ike raced far past the startled Princess Zelda, making absolutely certain not to brutally disturb her courteous and graceful peace. Ah, her beauteous face alone totally revealed her cordial awe and marvel, which triggered the impressive mercenary's thoughts to wander, to realize how incredibly fast he was thundering down the frequent stage. Whoa, was I that fast?
Regardless! Quickly and eagerly, Ike dismissed his remaining thoughts that drifted aimlessly, grasping steadfastly onto the tattered hilt of his prominent Ragnell with whitened knuckles. Of course, he frankly attempted not looking particularly upset by these unexpected turn of events, but he was perhaps almost absolutely sure it was unsuccessful, recognizing the earnest crease upon his forehead furrow gravely at the bridge of his nose.
Approaching the chocolate-brown ape with exceptional speed, the unwavering mercenary clenched his teeth and to some extent controlled his heckling taunts and callous remarks. Oh, an imminent clash was definitely forthcoming, looming ominously as Ike progressed forward.
In astonishment of the persistent mercenary's advances, Donkey Kong produced an incoherent noise at the revelation of his impending doom, when that cunning Ike flashed him a charming smirk — he'd really captured him now! With loyal Ragnell clutched tightly within his concrete hands, the robust mercenary potently heaved it above his cobalt-tinted head, and struck the disconcerted gorilla directly. This vicious collision caused the pitiful Donkey Kong to sputter and howl, carelessly releasing the bewildered Hylian. Immediately, Donkey Kong wheeled and hurtled helplessly out of the arena, the recurrent crashing noise instantly blaring as the defenseless gorilla vanished mysteriously into uncharted areas beyond the visible battlefield; in which would eventually deliver him back onto the primary platform.
Meanwhile, since the alarmed Donkey Kong frantically tossed Link back into the foreboding air when the resolute mercenary attacked him in such a ferocious and intimidating demeanor, the baffled Hylian was desperately plummeting back towards the ground. And, but of course, Ike was perfectly aware of the basic laws of gravity, carefully extending his brawny arms with that expression of genuine concern and affection adorning his handsome face.
Accurate and precise, Link collapsed exactly into those burly arms, which tenderly coiled around the petit Hylian's gentle frame. Well, the insignificant impact was certainly irrelevant; neither of them was even remotely harmed in the process, instead captivated by the rapid fluttering of their alluring eyelashes and their expressions of endearing bashfulness. Oh, but the enticed mercenary was entirely mesmerized by the fascinating appeal of those blithe cerulean eyes, which plunged Ike's charming figure into his very own everlasting sky. Within those endearing eyes, the enchanted mercenary swam amongst the gracious clouds and soared within the greatest depths of the ocean. Why, all of eternity flitted across Ike's doting mind as their devoted eyes locked into each other's gazes, meeting and caressing and kissing, but simply only regarding one another.
Before the careless mercenary knew it, he was reeling towards that cherubic face, that soft skin, those gorgeous pools of aquamarine, those luscious pink lips — although, before he could get any closer, Link's adorable face flushed as he automatically recoiled, withdrawing timidly.
"U-umm, I — uh, w-well, — um, thank you." Embarrassed, the sheepish Hylian stammered and stumbled pitifully over his wavering dialogue. Oh, and his pathetic attempts to divert his attention were ultimately futile, when his sauntering gaze wound up landing directly on Ike. In an instant, Link's lovable face burst into countless adorable cherry red shades, cute scarlet tints powdered generously over his fair cheeks. "T-thanks, I-I guess."
The handsome mercenary grinned, with that beaming smirk, that ridiculously charming smirk.
"Oh, it was nothing at all. I'm simply—" Perhaps randomly cut off due to his diminishing craving for combat or that delectable expression that graced the blond Hylian's face, Ike's exclusive words trailed off. Of course, he soon realized this when Link examined him curiously, which compelled the hunky mercenary to dive back into his verbal mischief; "—saving a damsel in distress."
That was when those endearingly cherry rose shades completely immersed the baffled Hylian's cute expression in red.
Ne je t'aime?
"D-damsel — w-what are — wait, what do you mean by damsel?" Flustered, and with that incredulous expression gracing Link's cherubic face, he stuttered hopelessly and bashfully, struggling to regain his composure. As the disoriented Hylian continuously fluttered those gorgeous eyes, the playful mercenary eagerly chortled that haughty chuckle of his; in which immediately threw Link's pounding heart into a feverish panic. At once, his boisterous voice just squeaked and vanished, as though it had always been nonexistent and simply inaudible. Now all of a sudden, Link couldn't even bring himself to mockingly retaliate with his usually teasing retorts, banters, and sardonic remarks, which irritated him beyond comprehension.
"Yeah, I was rescuing a damsel."
They became completely and unnervingly silent. And they remained silent, painfully enduring their anxious discomfort and lingering on the overwrought atmosphere.
Ike—
Oh, that persistent heart of his abruptly and unexpectedly propelled itself forward, violently hurtling itself against Link's fragile chest and even threatening to deafen him with its viciously rapid pace. In fact, that fierce pounding was even louder than the raucous cheers of the noisy crowds. Oh, the bewildered blond only meagerly hoped and prayed and wished that Ike wasn't capable of eavesdropping, or even remotely overhearing the dramatic pace of his leaping heart! Neither of them could even pry their eyes, staring deeply and intently at one another. Link couldn't look anywhere else! Who knew, he could stare for hours upon hours and not lose such pigheaded interest.
What are we doing? What are we supposed to be doing? What am I supposed to be doing?
Around this prolonged time, amidst the indistinct background, Link could faintly distinguish a feebly announced — "GAME!"
Well, what do rescued "damsels" do? Don't they reward their heroes? Embarrassed and nervous, Link failed miserably to swallow that dreadful lump in his throat. Don't they reward them with — a kiss?
Eventually, their chastened time seemed to decelerate and slow dramatically — or, perhaps that was just how it was supposed to be after the boisterous announcer declared the final conclusion of a brawl, but — perhaps Ike was to blame! With that prevailing stare, he could legitimately stop time itself! Oh, what was there to do? Frantic and disoriented, Link was panicking, his heart was panicking, oh, his everything was panicking, quivering and trembling and drastically faltering in a ruffled frenzy.
Am I supposed to k-k-kiss you?
With a surprisingly timid persona, coyly flushed cheeks, a bashfully racing heart, and a sheepish reaction in general, Link blushingly forced his beauteous eyes shut.
Vous l'aimez, et il vous aime, non?
Well, being the prudently wise, sensible, and joyful Princess Zelda that she was, she supposed that if Link truly didn't have the resolved will to end this affectionate story, she would gladly end it for him.
After all, it wasn't as if the conclusion was all that hideously revolting, it was remarkably simple, really.
They kissed and lived happily ever after.
Euh, eh bien, notre amour était inattendu, mais il est vrai et honnête.
The End
Side Notes:
- I had no intention to make Donkey Kong seem like a sore loser and a helpless meathead, here, alright? In fact, he's backstage right now with all the other Brawlers, laughing it all out. He's a lighthearted ape, that Donkey Kong! I'm exceptionally glad he allowed me to cast him.
- I just realized how ridiculously cheesy I was with that act. Um, I was definitely kidding. No Brawlers are really with me — I would be tremendously excited, happy, ecstatic, and buoyant with cheerful bliss to live in a world where they even exist, — right now, I'm just sitting in my room all on my own, lonely and pitiful and pathetically lonesome.
- Random: If you'd like, you can actually ask Link your own personal questions or curious inquiries on Tumblr and he pinky-swears to answer each one; he's known as "ask-pinky-linky"! Check them out. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
A/N: Ta-da! To be honest, my beloved readers, this story was originally something I've first concocted and written years ago. If I can recall correctly, I was inspired after playing Super Smash Bros; I was Link and my younger brother was Donkey Kong. Oh, but it's definitely possible to have the roles switched, I just cannot, for the life of me, recall my memories! Now I'm not necessarily certain whether or not it was true that Princess Zelda and Ike were the other two Brawlers, — probably not, but I honestly can't remember, — but, well, I think my brother was exceedingly hyperactive or something, since he usually is, because he refused to stop lifting me! Of course, the poor blond Hylian wouldn't cease to flail within Donkey Kong's grasp, — which we all found hilarious! That's when this idea came to mind, or, at least that's how I think it first came to mind.
Reviews? I'd love to hear your opinions! I have no intention to request too much of you, my beloved readers, but allow me to overcome my mistakes with your constructive criticism, supporting me with your kindest words of advice and assistance.
