GROOVITY FALLS

We open in the Mystery Shack. Grunkle Stan enters with a huge crate.

STAN
It's finally arrived!

Dipper
What is it Grunkle Stan?

STAN

A crystal skull! Said to have supernatural powers.

DIPPER
Don't you think it's kind of dangerous to be messing with an ancient artifact with unknown magical powers?
STAN
Don't be ridiculous! It's plastic! (But the tourist's don't know that.) No, don't worry. No one's ever found the real crystal skulls. Assuming there are any.

It's just a prop, to keep people distracted while I take their money. Now Dipper, Mabel, you go out back and put these signs out in the forest!

Stan hands Dipper and Mabel signs which read "See The Amazing Crystal Skull".

Dipper and Mabel go outside and begin to steak the signs into the ground, Dipper hits something hard, and pulls it out of the ground… it's a crystal skull.

MABEL
Whoa, a real crystal skull!

DIPPER
Maybe we should put it back…

MABEL
But look Dipper, It's so shiny.

Mabel takes the skull away from Dipper.

DIPPER
Mabel, give that back! We have no Idea what that thing's capable of.

Dipper tries to take it back from Mabel. Mabel pulls away.

MABEL
Mine!

The two fight over the skull, and end up falling through a trap door. Once at the bottom they see a table with 12 smaller crystal skulls surrounding a pedestal.

DIPPER
Whoa!

MABEL
Gasp! The crystal skull's a mommy!

DIPPER
Okay, that doesn't make any sense.

Mabel walks over to the table, and prepares to place the crystal skull on the pedestal.

DIPPER
Mabel, what are you doing?

MABEL
I'm reuniting these crystal skulls with their mommy.

DIPPER
Are you insane? We don't know what that thing does! Come back here right….

Mabel puts it in the pedestal.

DIPPER
And it's too late.

The 12 skulls spin around the larger center skull and a flash of blue light occurs. Mabel and Dipper then fall down from the sky onto a pile of hay.

DIPPER
Where are we?

Mabel runs off.

DIPPER
Mabel?

Dipper looks to his right and sees Mabel hugging a llama.

MABEL
It's a llama! It's so cute! Can we keep him? Please!? Please!? Please!? Please!? Pleeeeease!?

Wait is he a llama or an alpaca? Dipper, what's the difference between llamas and alpacas?

DIPPER
You know, Mabel, I'm not really sure, but I think it's time to head back…

A voice is heard in the distance

PACHA
Those are llamas. Alpacas are smaller and have more pointy ears.

DIPPER
Um who are you?

PACHA
I'm Pacha.

MABEL
Pacha? That' s a funny name! Ha! Pacha.

PACHA
Is she always like this?

DIPPER
Yep.

Pacha, do you know how to get to Gravity Falls? We're kind of lost.

PACHA
Gravity Falls?

DIPPER
Ah, so you've heard of it.

PACHA

Um… no. Look, why don't you come inside my hut and we can discuss this over dinner.

We cut to inside Pacha's hut.

DIPPER

…and that's how we ended up here?

PACHA
Oh. Well I don't think I can help you out, but the emperor might be able to help you get back.

MABEL
The emperor?

DIPPER
Mabel, I don't think we're in Oregon anymore.

*awesome theme song plays*

We see Pacha, entering Kuzco's throne room.

PACHA
Um, Kuzco?

KUZCO
Pacha! My man! What brings you here? Finally realized my palace makes a much better home then that smelly old hut of yours?

PACHA
Actually, Kuzco…

KUZCO
Don't tell me! You need more llama chow…

PACHA
Um, no. I found these foreigners and I think they could use your help.

KUZCO
Great, more foreigners. Well if it's that evil pharmacist guy again; tell him I'm not here.

PACHA

Actually I think they're kids.

DIPPER
Kids? We're twelve.

MABEL
Twelve means we're still kids, Dipper.

DIPPER
No it doesn't…

KUZCO
Actually it does.

MABEL
See! I told you so!

KUZCO
All right, what are your names?

DIPPER
I'm Dipper and that's my sister, Mabel.

KUZCO
All right, Dipple and Maber, why have you come here today?

MABEL
Haha! Dipple.

DIPPER
We come from Oregon and we we're wondering if you could show us the way back.

KUZCO
Oregon? Like pancreas or spleen?

DIPPER
No, no, those are organs. We come from Oregon.

KUZCO
Oregon? Never heard of such a place.

DIPPER
Well where are we now?

KUZCO
Peru.

DIPPER
Peru? There's no way we could be in Peru! Peru's all the way in South America.

KUZCO
You're point is?

DIPPER
Oh my gosh. Those 13 mystical crystal skulls must have transported us here!

KUZCO
Mystical crystal skulls? What did it look like?

DIPPER
Well, they were purple…

KUZCO
Smells like Yzma!

MABEL
Actually they smelled like pickles.

Dipper looks at Mabel, very confused and somewhat appalled.

MABEL
What, I was curious?

DIPPER
Wait. There hasn't been an emperor in Peru since the 15th century… The crystal skull must have sent us back in time too!

We cut to Kronk, talking to Yzma.

KRONK
…and they said there were transported here from some future place called Oregon by 13 purple crystal skulls. Do you have anything to do with this?

YZMA
That's it, Kronk!

KRONK
What's it?

YZMA
We find these 13 skulls, and use them to get rid of Kuzco!

To the secret lab!

Yzma and Kronk rush over to the secret lab entrance.

YZMA
Pull the lever, Kronk!

Kronk pulls the lever to his right. A battering ram swings in and crashes into Yzma.

YZMA
Wrong lever.

Kronk pulls the other lever and the two drop into the secret lab ride.

RIDE ANNOUNCER

Welcome to the Secret Lab Ride! In the event of an emergency water landing, the person next to you may be used as a floatation device.

Yzma and Kronk then dash forward in the car, and are lifted up a long slow hill. Yzma checks her sundial. The two finally reach the top, and drop down a series of hills before landing in the secret lab with their lab outfits now on. They then high five eachother.

YZMA
How shall I do it? I know! Once I have the crystal skulls, I'll use them to travel through time and space in search of the perfect partner to help me destroy Kuzco! After all, you know what they say.

KRONK
Yeah… Wait, what do they say?

YZMA
Two heads are better than one.

We cut to Kuzco, Mabel, Dipper and Malina, discussing what happened.

MALINA
So let me get this straight… you got sent back in time by 13 magical crystal skulls?

DIPPER
Uh-huh.

MALINA
And you're sure you weren't dreaming this?

DIPPER
Pretty sure.

MABEL
In my dreams I can eat through concrete walls.

KUZCO
Um… Okay.

DIPPER
We've got to find where those crystal skulls landed when they transported us here.

KUZCO
Well we're did you land?

MALINA
Um, hello were'nt you listening to their story? They landed outside Pacha's hut.

KUZCO

I knew that. I just wanted to see if you were listening.

MALINA (sarcastic)
Right.

We cut to outside Pacha's hut, where Kuzco, Malina, Mabel and Dipper are looking for the skulls.

DIPPER
They've got to be here somewhere…

We hear an evil voice…

YZMA
Looking for this?

KUZCO
Yzma!

KRONK
And me. I'm here too. Just, uh, thought you should know.

YZMA
Pull the lever, Kronk!

KRONK
Don't you mean "Put the largest skull on the pedestal, Kronk!"?

YZMA
No, too many syllables, and besides it just doesn't have the same ring to it.

KRONK

Okay.

Kronk places the skull on the pedestal in the center, and the other skulls spin around it. A flash of blue light occurs, and Yzma and Kronk disappear.

KUZCO
Yay! No more Yzma!

MALINA
Kuzco! Hello? Why would Yzma want those skulls?

KUZCO
I don't know, and I don't care! Cause now she's gone! I don't have to ever worry about being turned into a smelly animal again! Uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh uh huh uh huh!

MALINA
Um, Kuzco. She's probably using the skulls as part of another evil scheme to get rid of you.

KUZCO

Puh-lease! Why would Yzma want to get rid of me?

MALINA
Because she's Yzma.

KUZCO
and you say I don't make any sense?

MALINA
You know what, forget it.

Yzma and Kronk then appear again, with a new "friend" of theirs.

YZMA
Kuzco, I'd like you to meet, Um, what did you say your name was again?

PIZARRO
I am Francisco Pizarro!

MABEL
Mmm, Pizza.

PIZARRO
Is she always like this?

Dipper nods.

PIZARRO
Yzma here has promised me gold in exchange for a small favor. I dispose of the emperor!

KUZCO

You're joking right?

PIZARRO

Kill him.

Pizarro sends his soldiers after Kuzco. Malina, Kuzco, Dipper, and Mabel run into the jungle and hide.

DIPPER
Great! We're trapped far away in the 15th century with an army of evil conquistadors after us. This day couldn't possibly get worse. I've got to convince that old lady that that guy can't be trusted.

MALINA
Yzma's not really the kind of person who'll take advice from an insane nine-year old.

DIPPER
I'm twelve.

Yzma then finds them

YZMA
There he is! After him!

Dipper steps in the way and stops Yzma and the soldiers.

DIPPER
You can't trust that Pizarro guy. He's going to betray you!

YZMA
Sure, like I'm going to listen to an insane nine-year old.

Yzma throws a potion at Dipper, turning him into a salamander.

YZMA
Haha! I turned you into a newt!

DIPPER
Great, now I'll have to live the rest of my life as a newt. Well it could be worse.

YZMA
You're…You're not surprised I can turn people into animals?

DIPPER
No, nothing surprises me anymore.

YZMA
Well maybe this will surprise you!

Yzma hikes up her skirt…

DIPPER
Ahhh!

Yzma then pulls out the crystal skull.

DIPPER
Oh, that's not so bad.

YZMA
Kronk, come here!

Kronk walks towards Yzma with the other 13 skulls.

KUZCO
What are you gonna do?

YZMA

Well, destroying you is too much work. So I'm just going to send you to a different time and place! Thus you can't be emperor, and I take over the empire!

PIZARRO
What are you doing?

YZMA
Turns out you don't have to kill Kuzco at all, Pizarro. I'll just send him to another time!

PIZARRO
But you promised me gold!

YZMA
Oh relax, once I'm empress you can have all the gold you want.

PIZARRO

Ha! Empress? I never agreed to make you empress. The only deal you made with me was that I would get the gold. No, once I'm done with this place you'll learn that there is only one true emperor! King Charles V!

And you can forget about Viracocha and Inti and the like. There is only one true god! Accept this, and you may just make it. But refuse and you will be destroyed.

MALINA
You can't just kill innocent people because they don't agree with you.

PIZARRO
Oh but I can!

I'll conquer this land, and claim it as my own!

KUZCO
You can't do that.

PIZARRO
Oh, and you're going to stop me? Ha!

Once the gold is mine

Which will happen in short time.

KUZCO
He's not really going to sing is he?

PIZARRO
I will conquer this land

And you'll obey my command!

Yes my every demand!

Like Hernan Cortez

Conquered Mexico, yes

And like

Portugal did with Brazil,

I'll be merciless, ruthless and kill

Those who I don't enslave

every ruler, every knave

All of those who disobey

I'll take to their graves.

And I will be feared

And I'll be revered

Throughout history

It is no mystery

When thinking conquistary

They will all think of me.

DIPPER
Conquistary isn't a word.

PIZARRO
Shut up.

KRONK
So Yzma, do you want me to put the skull on the pedestal thingy?

YZMA
Not now Kronk?

KRONK
Now Kronk?
Okay!

YZMA
No Kronk, you fool!

Kronk places the Skull in the center pedestal, and Dipper, Mabel, Malina, Kuzco, Kronk, Yzma, Pizarro and all his soldiers disappear in a flash of blue light. They all then fall from the sky and crash into the woods.

MALINA
Where are we?
DIPPER
I think we're home.

PIZARRO
After them!

Malina, Kuzco, Kronk, Yzma, Dipper and Mabel all move out of the way, but the soldiers still run towards where they we're.

PIZARRO
No you idiots! Can't you see? They went that way! They moved!

The soldiers then all charge off a cliff.

PIZARRO
Looks like I'm going to have to do this myself.

Pizarro pulls out a gun. He then continues into the woods. We cut to Malina, Kuzco, Kronk, Yzma, Mabel and Dipper who cross the road.

MALINA
Dead end!

Pizarro soon catches up with them.

PIZARRO
Well, well well…

Pizarro is then run over by a police car. (Nothing graphic is shown of course.)

KRONK
Well that was anticlimactic.

SHERRIF BLUBS
You folks need a ride?

We cut back to at the Mystery Shack, where Dipper, Mabel, Kuzco, Malina, Kronk and Yzma are (along with other characters from Gravity Falls.)

GRUNKLE STAN
And this is the mysterious crystal skull! Said to have magical powers!

Grunkle Stan then notices Tambry is too busy texting to pay attention to him, so he takes away her phone.

TAMBRI
Hey!
GRUNKLE STAN
All electronic devices must be turned off during the tour.

Grunkle Stan then walks over to Kronk, Yzma, Malina, Kuzco, Mabel and Dipper.

GRUNKLE STAN
Man, she's so annoying.

MALINA
Tell me about it.

Wendy then walks up to Dipper.

WENDY
Hey Dipper.

DIPPER
Uh, hey Wendy.

WENDY
Who are your friends?

DIPPER
They're, uh, tourists from out of town. Stopping by to see the Shack.

WENDY
Thinking about seeing a movie this Friday. You interested?

DIPPER
Me? You're, you sure you're not asking someone else? Sure I'd love to go.

WENDY
Great see you there.

DIPPER
You too.

MABEL
Dipper and Wendy sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-…

Dipper covers Mabel's mouth.

We cut to Dipper and Mabel who are saying goodbye to Kuzco, Malina, Kronk and Yzma who are about to leave with the skulls.

MABEL
Bye Ink people!

DIPPER
They're Inca, Mabel.

MABEL
Oh.

Bye!

DIPPER
How do you know you're going to the right place and time?

MALINA
We'll just keep trying till we do.

DIPPER
Okay. Well Bye.

The four then dissppear with a flash of blue light.

DIPPER
Well , that's that.

MABEL
Now what?

DIPPER
I don't know. You up for Pizza?

MABEL
Yay! Pizza!

THE END