Full Title: Your Arms are my Castle, Your Heart is my Sky
AN: Just a little something I thought up in wake of the season finale on Wednesday. It's a one-shot as of now, I could possibly be persuaded to make it into a short multi-chapter if anyone is interested. I actually really like how this turned out and I hope you do to.
Disclaimer: I don't own The 100 or any of it's characters for they belong to the lovely Kass Morgan (and also some credit goes to Jason Rothenberg for developing such an addicting television show.) Also, credit to the song Everytime We Touch by Cascada for the title, I don't own the rights for that either, just the song on my iPod.
Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.
{Everytime We Touch - Cascada}
"I'm not going in," is all she can say even as he tries to reassure her that they'll be able to make it through this and overcome the grief the she knows that they're both feeling. After what happened inside Mount Weather, she just couldn't face it.
Bellamy gives her a pleading look and says, "Look, if you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you." Clarke feels a rush of Deja vu run through her veins as she remembers when she spoke those exact words to him in a not so distant past, back when he was just getting over being the rebellious whatever the hell we want Bellamy. He's come a long way from that. "You're forgiven."
It's almost as if she can see his heart breaking as she looks into his eyes. She can also see just how much he doesn't want to go back inside the gate without her.
"Please, come inside," he whispers as a final plea.
But, she can't. She can't go back in there because it will be a constant reminder to her of the lengths that she's taken in order to get them back there. Killing Finn, the alliance, sending Bellamy into Mount Weather, and then pulling that lever to release the radiation into the mountain.
"Take care of them for me."
"Clarke…" His voice just sounds so broken it almost makes her change her mind right there. She doesn't want to hurt Bellamy, she cares about him a lot, but she knows that she can't stay here after what she's done.
"Seeing their faces every day is just going to remind me of what I did to get them here."
"Where are you gonna go?" he asks her. His eyes are shining with something she's never seen from him before and it makes her insides tingle.
"I don't know," is her honest reply.
Before Bellamy even has time to register what's happening, Clarke has already surged up onto her toes and her lips are pressed firmly against the side of his face. He feels a lump forming in his throat and he does what he can to repress it as she wraps her arms around him. She squeezes him like he's her only remaining lifeline and he works even harder to keep himself strong. For Clarke's sake.
"May we meet again." The words come out as a low whisper as they fan across the outer shell of his ear. Clarke begins to pull away from him and he feels like he needs to do something, needs to make her stay. Their people need her, her mom needs her, hell, he needs her.
It's in that instance that Bellamy makes his decision, if he can't get her to stay then he was going to go with her. With everything that has happened since they came down in the dropship, things have changed between them and he's not about to let that slip away. She's not the privileged Ark princess anymore, not to him. No, she's his princess, or queen rather.
When they finally release each other from the embrace, Bellamy spots the streaks of tears that are falling down Clarke's cheeks. He cautiously lifts his hand to wipe them away before cupping her face with the same hand. His free hand reaches down to lock with one of hers. Then he surprises himself by leaning forward and resting his forehead against hers. Their faces are close, but comfortably so. Bellamy closes his eyes for a moment, taking in a breath and it comes out a little shaky when he releases it and then opens his eyes again.
"No," he tells her sternly. "I'm not going to let you do this alone." Together, his words he told her inside Mount Weather echo in his head as the lump in his throat causes his ordinarily strong voice to crack in the mid-sentence and then his voice becomes a little hoarser as he continues. "If I can't convince you to stay, then I'm going with you."
"Bellamy," Clarke sighs and her breath tickles against his face. "I-I need you to stay here, stay here and look after everyone while I'm gone."
Bellamy furrows his eyebrows at her statement and moves his face away from hers. "You don't get it, do you, Princess?" The nickname comes out a little more forceful than he intended, but he needs her to understand.
"It doesn't matter, Bellamy! I'm going and you're going to stay here. That's how this is going to work and you're just going to have to deal with it." Clarke's voice holds a tone like she's challenging him to go against her command.
"I don't take orders from you, remember?" Bellamy retorts slyly. "You're going to have to give me a better reason."
"Bell-"
"No, Clarke! You're not listening to me! I know that you feel guilty about what happened, but it wasn't just you, it was me too. We pulled that lever together and you shouldn't have to bear the guilt all on your own because it's not all on you. We can both carry the burden together. You're not alone in this and you can fight me all you want to on the matter, but I'm not going anywhere unless you're going with me. If that means walking around in the wilderness with you, I'll do it. If it means bringing you back into camp, I'll do that too because I-"
Because he what? He needs her? She already knew that.
Because he loves her. Yes, he loves her. He's known that for a while now, he's just never admitted it to himself and he's not really sure he's ready to admit it to her yet. Maybe it's not necessarily a romantic sense of love, again, he wasn't really sure he'd admit it to himself if it was, but he knows that he cares enough to just let her walk away on her own and right out of his life.
There's a silence that's hanging in the air between them now. He can hear Clarke inhale a sharp breath and then she releases it in an exasperated sigh. He's suddenly so aware of how his heartbeat is pounding in his ears and the longer he listens to it beat, the less he thinks that it's from their arguing and the more he realizes it's because of something else.
'Because you care about her more than you'll ever tell her, more than you'll ever let yourself believe,' a voice speaks up in the back of his mind, but he quickly shoves it off. Now is not the time to think of such things.
"You think they'll be okay without us for a while?" Clarke asks, finally breaking through the silence.
"I think that your mom and Kane know enough about the Ground now that they can handle it."
An inkling of a smile forms on Clarke's lips and Bellamy swears that he hears her laugh. Even though it was the smallest laugh, it was as real as what they could get at this point. She looks up to meet Bellamy's deep brown eyes and she realizes that everything is going to be okay. It's not perfect and won't go back to the way it was before, but Clarke knows that as long as she has Bellamy, that it's good enough for her. Bellamy makes her happy, makes her feel safe, makes her feel like she's finally home.
"Let's go then?" Clarke questions.
Bellamy gives her a smile and reaches down to twine their fingers together again.
"Looking to you, Princess."
She squeezes his fingers and they both walk towards the tree line together.
AN 2: That's it for now. Leave a review to let me know what you think or if you'd like me to continue this.
May we meet again,
- Mallory
