Had originally intended this as a one shot but I ended up rambling on for longer than I thought I would! That Lexa is just too captivating!
It was the morning after the battle. Lexa had allowed her people to celebrate their victory the night before but now it was time to return to business. They may have resolved their quarrel with the Mountain Men but there were still plenty more unknown enemies out there. It would not do to get complacent now, not after all that they had been through.
She gazed unseeingly at the young group of warriors being trained. Her thoughts were elsewhere. On the outside she gave the appearance of a Commander revelling in their victory but on the inside her emotions were in turmoil.
Clarke.
The one she claimed to care for yet had abandoned in her time of need. Left to die in battle or to be recaptured by the Mountain Men for surely there was no way that they could be defeated without the Grounders help. Without Lexa's help…
Guilt ebbed away at Lexa's consciousness. She did not usually let such trivial emotions affect her but as much as she hated to admit it she had changed. Clarke had changed her. She had grown weak around Clarke, let her guard down, shared her feelings with the other leader. It was something that she was unaccustomed to doing. Leaders had to focus on all of their people, they had no time for any one individual. Even if that individual was Clarke.
Would Clarke have done the smart thing and retreated? Unlikely. She cared for her people as Lexa did for hers. She would have continued the fight alone and likely perished.
Her death was on Lexa. She would have to carry the weight of that around for the rest of her life. It was a weight that rested heavier on her than the deaths of all those from Tondc. As a leader she had always remained detached from her people. She could not afford to be their friend. She was the one that they both feared and respected. In some ways this made their deaths easier for her to endure. Clarke was different however. Clarke had shattered through Lexa's icy veil and uncovered the raw emotions that lay underneath. Emotions that she had reluctantly allowed to surface and that she had finally given in to when she kissed Clarke.
Lexa closed her eyes and thought back to what had occurred between Clarke and herself the previous day .She had heeded Clarke's advice to live her life and had taken a chance. A chance that had almost paid off until that boy had resurfaced. Finn. The boy that Clarke had loved but had been forced to kill because of Lexa. She refused to feel anything for the boy. He had murdered her people and so in return had to pay. Blood must have blood. It was the way of their people. She knew that Clarke blamed her for his death but she had still returned Lexa's kiss with equal passion. She could still feel her soft lips, her tender hand on Lexa's back…
"Commander!"
Lexa jumped and cursed at herself for allowing such thoughts to enter her mind out with the privacy of her own tent. She was ashamed for exposing her weakness in front of her people.
"What?" she snapped.
"The scout parties are ready to depart," one of her men reported.
"Good," she nodded. "Remember to stay out of sight. We cannot break the truce with the Mountain Men. Report back as soon as possible," she dismissed him with a wave of her hand.
She realised the irony of her words as she had broken the alliance with the Sky People but war was war. They had suffered far greater losses at the hands of the Mountain Men than the Sky People ever would.
Lexa retreated to her tent and ordered her guards to let no one enter. She needed to be alone. She had always preferred her own company, well up until Clarke had appeared and she had learned that companionship was something that she could learn to enjoy. Clarke had grown to trust and respect Lexa and Lexa had begun to hesitantly trust Clarke too. Unfortunately for Clarke she had put her trust in the wrong person.
Lexa sighed and began to drum her fingers on her chair. Patience had always been something she had prided herself on but not today. Not when she was awaiting the news on the fate of the one she loved. She had arranged three search parties – one for the mountain, one for the mines and one for the Sky People's camp. She had to know either way what had become of Clarke.
Her head was telling her that Clarke was dead but her heart was clinging to strands of hope. The waiting was unbearable. Every footstep that she heard caused her to sit up alert but no one ever approached her tent. She was truly alone in the agonising wait.
Hours passed but Lexa was unable to do anything apart from sitting and staring at the walls of her tent. She was too tense to sleep and too anxious to eat. She did not know how much longer she could take this torture.
The scout group from Camp Jaha were the first to arrive back.
"The Sky People have returned to their camp," one of her men reported. "Even the ones from inside the Mountain."
"How is that possible?" Lexa questioned.
The guard shook his head.
Lexa was desperate to ask about Clarke but now that the time had come she found it difficult to form the words.
"Their leader?" she asked hesitantly.
Once more the guard shook his head.
Lexa's knees buckled.
"Dead?" she whispered.
She fought hard to retain her composure despite wanting to drop to the ground and scream.
"We don't know Commander. We watched their camp for hours but there was no sign of the girl."
Lexa nodded and backed away from the guard. She was still no closer to finding out what had become of Clarke and it was tearing her up. Clarke was consuming all of her thoughts which was interfering with her ability to be a good leader. She needed to know…
She could go to the Sky People's Camp directly and ask them but she knew she would not be well received there anymore. Not after she had betrayed them. She would have to figure out another way.
It was after nightfall before the final two search parties returned with news that shocked Lexa.
"They're all dead?" she echoed the Grounders words. "All of them?"
"Every last one of them," her man confirmed.
"Clarke," Lexa breathed. "It had to have been."
For the first time she allowed her heart to take precedence over her head. If the Sky People had returned safely and all of the Mountain Men were dead perhaps Clarke had survived. Hope welled up inside of her. For once she allowed her emotions to run free.
"Thank you," she informed the men. "I need you to organise another party to go back to the Sky People's Camp. I want that place on 24 hour watch and I need to find Clarke their leader," she instructed.
"But why commander?" the Grounder asked. "The war is over. We have no need for the Sky People anymore."
"You dare question me?" Lexa asked coldly. "I am your commander and you will do as I say. The Sky People have shown themselves to be a formidable enemy. We cannot allow them to come after us next. Their leader is angry with us right now and may want revenge, she is a dangerous woman and should not be underestimated. Now go!"
It was not really a lie she told herself. Clarke and the Sky People could pose as a threat. She would never dare to admit though that the reason for finding Clarke was for a matter of the heart and not for the safety of the Grounders.
Lexa once more returned to her tent. She attempted sleep but her brain was buzzing with thoughts of Clarke and the agonised look she had given Lexa when she realised Lexa had betrayed her. She replayed Clarke's final begging words:
"Please don't do this."
Words that had torn her up inside but that she had forced herself to ignore for the good of her people.
She then thought back to her own last words to Clarke. Perhaps the last words she would ever speak to her again:
"May we meet again."
She longed for this statement to be true. For now all she could do was torment herself by replaying her decision to abandon Clarke over and over again in her head.
She must have eventually drifted off for she awoke to find her personal guard standing over her.
"What is it?" she demanded.
"Sorry Commander but the hunting crew have just returned from their trip with a prisoner."
"Well lock them up as we usually do and I'll get to them later. Was it really necessary to wake me for this?"
The guard hesitated. "I apologise Commander… it's just…. It's the one you were looking for… the dangerous one… the leader of the Sky People."
"Clarke…" Lexa exhaled slowly. "She's alive?"
Relief swept over Lexa, she allowed herself to bask in it for a few seconds before she composed herself.
"Take me to her," she ordered sharply.
That's it for Chapter 1. Hope you enjoyed it!
