"BUT MUUUUUUM!" Robb Stark cried as he walked down the Westeros mall with his lady mother. "I don't wanna go to prom with Walda Frey!"
"Listen, you sick fuck," Catelyn Stark replied, "You'll do this for our company's sake. Our alliance with Frey Wheels will help us get filthy rich and tear down Lannincest fucking Motors. Taking Walda to prom will be the best marketing strategy; you two will appear in every magazine in the country when you're chosen as Prom King and Queen."
"But I really like Jeyne, though. She's super hot and prom will be bananas with her."
"I didn't raise you to be such a spoiled fucking brat," Catelyn said sharply. "So why don't you stop whining? We need this to buy our third house in the Free Cities. So keep walking, we have to find you a fineass tuxedo to embroider it later with the Stark Motors direwolf."
Robb sighed in discomfort and kept following his mother around the Mall. "Yes, mummy." He added.
"Guess what, bitcheeeeees! I got asked to prom today!" Arya Stark yelled with excitement as she sat at the dinner table with her brothers and sisters.
"And who's the loser?" said Sansa, not averting her eyes from her iPhone. "Who would take your ugly horseface ass to prom? That's social suicide." Arya gave her a death stare. "You sure it isn't part of a bet? Is he even human?"
"At least she has a date, though." Jon muttered under his breath, and the whole table laughed (even Cat).
"It's Gendry from 12th grade. He likes mechanics and shit, just like you guys, except he is super hot and has a killer six-pack." Arya bragged cheerfully.
"Oh, cool." Said Rickon, the youngest lad.
"Rickon! Shut the front door!" said Bran, annoyed by his little brother's constant intrusion on teens' stuff. Rickon had been playing the Lordling of Winterfell and shit, little did he know he would never be the Lord of anything. Bran and Robb would be the ones to inherit their parents' business empire.
"What the fu..." Rickon was interrupted by a quick but soft backhand of his lady mother on his burning right cheek. "Fudge! I was going to say Fudge, mum!"
"Go to your room and play with your pokemons and shit," Sansa bade at once. Rickon stood up and left the room with small steps, a single tear running down his cheek.
"Right…anyway," Arya continued, "Who are you taking to prom, Jon?"
"I'm going with this chick from St. Rayder High School, her name is Ygritte." Said Jon with an unexpected grin.
"You're going with a girl from a PUBLIC school?" Cat frowned, unable to hide her hatred for her dead husband's bastard son.
"Yeah, she's awesome, loves sports and Ramones," said Jon.
"But what about the girls in our school, though?" asked Sansa, confused by her half-brother's choice of a date. "What about, I don't know, Margaery Tyrell? Daenerys Targaryen? Arianne Martell?"
"As if they would go with such a hipster kid like Jon," said Bran.
"For the thousandth time, I'm NOT A HIPSTER," said Jon as he pushed up his big, round glasses. "I just see the world differently."
"Honey, that's the definition of hipster," Sansa rolled her eyes.
"GODS! Everyone here is taking whoever they want to prom!" Robb scowled. They all simultaneously turned to Cat as she stabbed the table with a kitchen knife, her face reflecting pure fury.
"Enough," she said. She was too tired to have this conversation again. "I'm going to bed for a few days. I also need to get my foot massage and my daily anti-aging sauna sessions. Bran, good luck asking Meera to prom tomorrow." She stood and took her leave.
"Thanks mum" Bran knew his mum was a total drunken hysterical pretentious unbearable bitch, but she could be good at times.
As Bran Stark hodored into Winterhell High School, he stumbled upon Joffrey Baratheon, the son and heir to Lannister Motors, his family's biggest competitors.
"What's up, Stark? Heard who I'm going to prom with?" Joffrey said to him. "Margaery fucking Tyrell, of course. Are you even going to the party? I mean, you won't be able to dance or anything, you know." Joffrey hectored.
"Leave him alone, mate." Said Meera as she appeared behind him. "Who the fuck cares if he can dance or not? I've heard about your dancing skills, I hope Margaery doesn't get bored of your same white boy moves all night. But whoawhoahawhoa, don't take it personally, mate. I don't want any shootings in this school or anything."
"Hodor," Hodor agreed.
"You little bitch. Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you can just come out of your stinky shitted swamp and tell me what to do?" Joffrey put in, sassily as usual.
"Hey, Joff! Come here, mate!" yelled Ramsay and his squad from the other side of the hallway.
"Yeah, Joff, go away" Bran mocked him. Joffrey opened his mouth to say something else, but he just turned around and left to meet his squad. Bran turned to Meera, gathered up the courage, and looked her dead in the eye. "Also. Meera. Do you wanna go to prom with me?"
Her lips slowly curved upwards.
"What are you talking about?!" Walda Frey asked Robb, confused by his words.
"I'm sorry, Walda. I just can't go to prom with you. Jeyne is my one true love. I know it for a fact. I have to take her to prom. I hope this doesn't stir things up between our families or anything."
"Oh, no no no. Don't worry, it won't." Walda said bitchily. It will completely fuck it up.
"Great. Let's go to class, then." Robb grinned, unaware of her bitchiness.
"Umm, I can't right now. I have to talk to the Headmaster Lannister about…something, see you around!"
"See ya!" Robb replied and left for class, completely oblivious of her sly smile.
"Dad, I just CAN'T believe this is happening right now." Walda told his father, Walder Frey, whom with she was talking to on speaker on her phone in Tywin Lannister's office. Lannister was the Headmaster of Winterhell High, but on his free time, he also worked as the C.F.O. of Lannister Motors.
"Who is this? Maria? Shanaynay? Walda? Judy? Scarlett? Big Tits Laura?" asked Walder on the phone.
"It's Walda, the first," she answered as she crossed her arms. "We need Robb Stark back."
"Mr. Frey, if I may," the Headmaster intervened, pacing around his office. "The Starks are in bankruptcy. Wouldn't you consider another alliance? You would certainly get more out of it.", he stroked his beard.
"I'm listening," said Walder on the phone.
"Lannister Motors' sells are increasing by the second, and we would never betray our partners. What do you say? Let's tear down the Starks together?"
"Fucking yes," said Walder, "let's make those little bitches pay for what they did to my Jud-Walda."
The day of Prom arrived. After having McAegon's for lunch, Margaery Tyrell´s clique were at her house getting ready for the big night, along with Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon. The sun shone into the living room and made the colors of their dresses come to life.
"Oh goody, Arianne, that dress looks gorgeous on you. It totally matches your shoes," said Renly. "I bet my sweet back Theon will love it too. Don't you think, Loras?"
"Sure, darling, it looks delightful." added Loras examining carefully Arianne's red dress.
"We gotta hurry to get ready for the pictures. Besides, the boys will be here soon." Said Margaery, smirking like she knew exactly when the world was going to end. She turned to Sansa. "Sweetie, you look so pretty", she added as she stroked her long auburn hair.
Sansa blushed. People always reminded her how beautiful she was, but it felt different this time. "Thanks, hun, you too", she added shyly. "I'm 100% sure you'll end up being Prom Queen. No one's more popular than you in Winterhell High."
Margaery smiled with her usual confidence. "Oh, honey, you're so sweet, I want to eat you up."
"Loras, sweetling, wear the red bow tie instead of the black one. It would totally ruin the aesthetic." Renly added.
Daenerys Targaryen bursted into the room. All eyes on her. Her silver blonde hair gleamed at the setting sun and lighted up the whole room. Margaery drooled, but she rapidly wiped it with the back of her hand. She hoped Sansa hadn't noticed.
"Wow, Dany…your white and gold dress is gorgeous! You look like a queen." Arianne squeaked.
"I'm a Khaleesi, not a queen. For fuck's sake, mate!" Daenerys remarked. "And what are you even talking about? My dress is blue and black. Go get your eyes checked."
"Blue and black? They scammed you, honey." Renly let out a cocky laugh. "I only see white and gold here as well."
Daenerys opened her mouth and put one hand on her waist. "I will not waste precious hours of prom day by bringing back a stupid ass meme, now get your stuff together and finish getting ready, people! Daario will be here at four with Joff, Theon and Sandor for the pictures, so I hope you're ready at that time."
Margaery sat on a chaise longue to put on her golden shoes. "So…Daario, you like that guy, don't you?" She asked Dany, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know, I've just met him and he's kinda hot, but…no. I don't think anything will happen between us. Why? Do you want to fuck him or something, slut?!" Dany joked and everyone in the room laughed.
"Gods, Dany! You offend me."
"Ladies!" Olenna Tyrell walked into the room and everyone stiffened. "Ugh, you all look gorgeous. Listen, I need to have a girl to girl conversation with all of you." She sat on the empty couch.
"So you want us to leave or…?" Loras asked, looking at his grandmother and then at Renly.
"Nah, you're perfect right where you are, grandson."
"What is it, Nana?" Margaery sat down next to her. Olenna exhaled deeply and put her hands together.
"I know everyone in this room is of age, and I know the school has agreed to have an open bar the whole night with every damn drink on this planet." The girls exchanged looks of excitement. "But please, don't make a fool of yourselves. Party hard but don't end up unconscious on the dance floor, as I'm sure some boys will. I hope Varys, the barman, will be cautious about how much alcohol they serve you all. However, when it comes to boys, well, let's just say that it's happy hour. That bar is always open, make good use of it."
"Don't worry, Mrs. T." Arianne smiled. "We know how to take care of ourselves."
"Good. My point is you don't need alcohol to get men. They will come to you anyway. When I was your age, boys spread around me faster than the swine flu. I got lucky so many times a week, I grew some killer muscles. I even-"
"Nana," Loras interrupted, "I think we get your point."
"Fine. I just wanted to make sure you will enjoy yourselves tonight." She stood up and stopped at the door. "Ugh, you girls keep me young." she added, before taking her leave.
The students and their couples got out of the bus, and most of them were already drunk. "I just don't understand what was the hurry of getting wasted in the bus if there's an open bar here at the party," Sansa told Margaery and Arianne, who could barely step out of the bus properly. Arianne almost fell a couple of times but fortunately her date, Theon Greyjoy, caught her firmly.
"I'm NOT wasted, though!" Margaery said, approaching Sansa. "Just a little bit tipsy, sweetie." Her arm delicately surrounded Sansa's neck while they walked towards the entrance with their couples. Sansa smiled nervously.
Theon scowled. "Is that Walda Frey? With Ramsay Snow?" Everyone turned around. "Wasn't she Robb's date?"
"My mum's gonna be so freaking mad." Sansa told Sandor. But he wasn't listening. His thoughts were only about chickens. Were they going to serve chicken at the prom? The ones from McAegon's? He hoped with all his heart.
"Is she?" Robb appeared behind Sansa, with Jeyne Westerling by his arm. "Sweet sis, mum getting angry will be totally worth it after coming to prom with my one true love baby girl Jeyne."
"Ummm…I need an explanation," said Sansa, ignoring Jeyne's presence. "Otherwise I'll tell mum about this." Jeyne's jaw dropped sassily.
"There is nothing to explain. I can go to prom with whoever the fuck I want without any permission of my mum whatsoever or any mother fucker whiny ass stupid fuck that wants to tell me what to do. So, now, cut the bullshit, Sansa. You won't tell mum shit, right?"
"Damn right, I will." Sansa answered at once, surprised by her brother's sudden hostility. She grabbed Sandor's arm, turned around swiftly so that her long hair hit Robb in the face, and went back to her clique.
"Alright, everybody," said Professor Jaime Lannister, elegant as always, standing next to his wife, Brienne, the P.E. teacher. "Make a line to enter the party so we can take a picture of each couple before you little pricks end up bloody sprawled around the whole place. I can already sense the sour smell…AND IT AIN'T ME."
Everyone grabbed their dates and paraded their way in, couple by couple. The flashing lights were blinding, the music was pumping in everyone's ears, and people were running to the dance floor and gathering around the bar, while DJ Hodor dropped the bass and barman Varys served the most exotic of drinks. Bran Stark was having the time of his life sitting on Hodor's shoulders and moving his arms to the beat of the music.
Sansa watched Arianne and Margaery as they finished another tequila shot.
"So," Arianne leaned towards Margaery and whispered in her ear, "Who's gonna have more hook ups tonight?"
"I bet your sweet tight delicious tender luscious perfectly round dornish ass- where was I? Oh right, it's gonna be me, honey, it's in my blood. You heard my Nana."
Sansa felt a shiver up her spine as she heard Arianne and Margaery talking so intimately, and to top it off, I Wanna Know What Love is by Foreigner was playing in the background.
"But my first prey will be Joffrey, it would be rude to not make out with him if he's my date." Margaery gave a quick glance to Sansa, and almost drooled again.
Arya finished her Peruvian Pisco shot and led Gendry to meet her brother, Jon.
"My sweet, sweeeeeet bro! I love you soooo much! Did you know thaaaaaaaaaaat? Did you?" she said as she hugged Jon tightly. His date, Ygritte, burst into laughter.
"What did you make her drink, mate?" Jon asked Gendry, hugging Arya back.
"Some Peruvian shit," Gendry answered "Varys said it's the bomb."
"Yeah, those drinks are tight as hell." Ygritte contributed, her orange dress matched her red hair. "I had one too, and now I feel like I could do anything." She said, and took Gendry's face in her hands and kissed him right on the lips.
Jon and Arya squeaked in horror.
"WHATTHEFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Arya roared. Fear cuts deeper than swords. She pulled Gendry away from Ygritte and gave him a passionate kiss. Jon squirmed at the sight of their tongues intertwining.
"I think I'll go get another drink." Said Jon, overwhelmed by the awkwardness and trying to conceal his disappointment on Ygritte. I knew nothing about her.
"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked him.
"No, no," Jon shook his head, expressionless as always, staring at the ground. "I'll go on my own."
"So how's your night going, my dear Varys?" A very tipsy Daenerys asked the barman.
"It is good. Thank you, darling." He answered "Although today I had a terrible argument with my boyfriend, Petyr."
"Oh no, tell me everything, sweetheart. Don't keep it to yourself!"
Varys hesitated. "Well, as you know, he is not only the owner of McAegon's, he is a shareholder of Lannister Motors as well." He sighed. "He has developed a queer obsession for LM. He's haunted by the thought of the company going bankrupt if a spoiled little arse took over it."
"And what will he do?" Daenerys asked surprised, covering her mouth.
Varys breathed deeply and continued, "He didn't tell." Although I have my own ways of finding out, Varys thought to himself.
Jon leaned on the bar, he was about to order a glass of wine when he noticed Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Heir to the Andals Oil Company, Heir to Meereen Inc., Khaleesi of the Great Weed Stash, Breaker of Hearts and Mother of Booties was standing beside him.
"Varys, I will have a Peruvian Pisco, please." the girl said.
"Right away," the eunuch answered and took out the bottle.
"Better not," Jon told her. She turned to him.
"Have we met before?" she asked him.
"I'm Sansa's half-brother, yes."
"Ah, you must be Ned Stark's bastard. Jon Snow, am I right? Why don't you want me to drink the Pisco, Jon Snow?"
"Well, I just saw two ladies get way too affectionate with a dude after only one shot." He replied as he adjusted his glasses. Daenerys nodded. Varys gave her the Pisco and she handed Jon the shot.
"Why don't you drink it, then?" she said as she raised an eyebrow.
Although Jon was rather mopey and boring at parties, no pretty girl had ever flirted with him. So he eagerly took the shot from her hands and drank it all.
"ARIANNE, LOOK!" said Margaery, pointing at Jon and Daenerys, who were leaning on the bar, talking and giggling with just a few inches between them. "They're totally gonna fuck each other's brains out."
"Let the girl have fun, Marg. You know she's always had a secret fetish for hipster kids and shit like that." Though I must admit I too love to play with Snowballs.
"Alright then," Margaery smirked. "That leaves Daario bootylicious Naharis to me."
"If you say so," Arianne laughed, "Well, you already hooked up with my date."
"And you already hooked up with mine, bitch. Love ya!" She blew her a kiss and took her leave.
Sansa couldn't take her eyes off Margaery as she sauntered over to meet Daario. It had been hard not to stare while Joffrey's tongue snaked into Margaery's mouth in the dance floor, then Theon's, and now it would be Daario's. She thought she wouldn't be able to bear it no longer. She had to act fast.
"Marg!" she said as she ran to her. When she was about to pull her away from Daario, she tripped and fell right next to them. Daario started laughing hysterically.
"Sansa, sweetie!" she extended her a hand. As Sansa stood up, they noticed her dress had been ripped off on the lower part.
"Oh, shit," Sansa barked.
"Let me help you. Why don't we go to the bathroom and figure out how to fix it?"
Sansa blushed with excitement. "Okay, then."
They walked across the dance floor to the bathroom and Sansa realised Margaery was still holding her hand. She felt lightness in her chest. They walked into a stall so nobody would notice how bad her dress looked, and to her surprise, Margaery locked the door. They both leaned over to check the rupture and their foreheads bumped.
"Ouch!" Margaery squeaked and giggled. "Oh, you stupid little dove." Sansa could sense the alcohol in her breath. "Are you okay?" She raised Sansa's chin. Sansa stared into her eyes, nervously, and saw lust mixed with liters of alcohol. She was so nervous she averted her eyes from hers, and looked at the opened loo.
"Oh," she added as nervous as her dad on his beheading day, "looks like somebody forgot to flush the loo." She leaned to flush it and took advantage of the closeness of their faces, and they locked their lips together.
"Yeah, totally!" Daenerys told Jon, grinning. "I'm a huge fan of Arctic Weekend and The Vampire Strokes!"
"So am I!" He took a sip of his cup of wine. "Honestly, they should play their songs in these parties, instead of all this shitty mainstream music."
"You must admit Arctic Weekend is getting kind of mainstream, though. You heard their last album?"
"Yeah, but still, I liked them before they were cool." Jon pushed up his big, round glasses once more.
"Same."
He was about to put his cup on the bar when he accidentally spilled the red wine on Daenerys' dress.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he apologized approximately three thousand times while Daenerys tried to clean her dress with some napkins. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I hope I didn't ruin your blue and black dress."
"You saw it blue and black too?" Daenerys' face lighted up. He was the first person to tell her the right dress colors. So without hesitation, she buried her fingers on his dark, curly hair, pulled him towards her and drilled her tongue into his mouth, kissing him so hard his big ass glasses almost fell five times. She broke the kiss, held him by the hand, and they ran across the whole place to the empty bus in the parking lot.
After a significant amount of time, when they went back to the party, the music was interrupted by an announcement made by Professor Tyrion. "And now the moment we've all been waiting for!" he stood on the DJ's stage with an envelope in his hands. "We've counted your votes, and…it's time to announce this year's Prom King and Queen!" the place was filled with cheers and screams of excitement. "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Lorde was started playing, accurate for the moment.
"Alright, alright, alright," Professor Tyrion said in a Matthew McConaughey-like voice. "Chill the fuck out, children. Let's do this quickly 'cause I've been dying to find out too." He opened the envelope and took out the paper inside it. "And this year's Prom dictators- sorry, I mean, King and Queen, are…" he stared down at all the students from the top of the stage.
"HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Arya Stark yelled from behind.
"Marggggg….ROBB STARK AND JEYNE WESTERLING, FUCKERS!"
"What the fuck?!" Joffrey Baratheon threw his Pisco shot at his uncle, who ducked just in time. Everyone clapped and screamed and congratulated the King and Queen as they walked towards the stage. Daenerys looked around the room to see where Margaery was. She must be devastated. She realized Margaery was running to her with Sansa by her side, their hair was a mess, and she noticed Sansa's dress rupture.
"Did I miss something?" Margaery said, drunk as she could be.
"Just look at the stage, you drunk slut." Daenerys told her and Margaery gaped.
"My mum's totally gonna lose her shit," Sansa scowled. She hugged Margaery, who was holding back her tears. She realized Jon was smiling and his hair was also a mess. "What happened to you?" she asked him.
"She happened," he answered drunkenly, staring at Daenerys. Sansa turned to face her.
"Why, let's just say your brother's my new Khal" Daenerys smirked as playfully as Margaery usually did. "We were just gibbering about pillars and stones".
"You mean you were playing with a pillar and stones," Jon added with a grin. Daenerys blushed. Sansa was speechless. She was about to reproach Dany, but then remembered what she was doing five minutes ago with Marg and blushed. She couldn't stop thinking about it. When they broke the kiss, Margaery smiled seductively and looked at her like she knew exactly the first time Sansa had jerked off. She had told her earlier that day: "I almost drooled at the sight of your soft pillowy luscious succulent fleshy lips". Afterwards, the stall swayed back and forth fiercely.
Daenerys grabbed them by the arm and led them to the dance floor. The four of them were dancing and jumping to Uptown Funk.
"TOO HOT. HOT DAMN! MAKE A DRAGON WANNA RETIRE, MAN!" Daenerys yelled, delighted of how identified she felt with the lyrics.
Suddenly, DJ Hodor stopped the music. Everyone started booing him. "Hodor", he said, as a hooded person pushed him away to take his place.
"What the fuck just happened?!" The Prom King yelled, as intrigued as all the other students.
And then a song started playing: "Mmmmm whatcha say, oh that you only meant well…."
Panic filled the room, people started running and screaming. That song meant only one thing: Death.
"Gods be damned," Margaery told Sansa. "We're gonna be ok, don't you worry." She hugged her tightly. Arya and Gendry met Jon and Daenerys and they hurried to get out of the party. Hodor grabbed Meera and ran with Bran on his shoulders.
Sandor grabbed Sansa by the arm. "We have to get out of here. Now!" he screamed as he lifted her up and started running.
"Wait! Robb is still here! We need to help him get out too!" Sansa told him. Even though she was angry at her brother, she didn't want him to stay in a place where such a deadly song was playing.
"Fuck the king!" Sandor yelled at her and kept running.
Theon tried to run as fast as he could but he was so dizzy he tripped and fell. Margaery gave him a hand to help him get up but it only made her fall next to him. Theon tried to snake his leviathan into Margaery's mouth again, little did the fool know he would only get bitch-slapped.
Professor Roose Bolton, Ramsay's dad, grabbed the microphone. "Everyone! Remain calm. Leave these installations carefully. The party's over." But people did not do so. Everyone was running as fast as they could, pushing people that were on their way, with fear in their eyes. Everyone but Joffrey, Ramsay and Walda.
"Robb!" Walda shouted, "Don't worry, everything's okay. Jeyne and you can stay here. Nothing bad is gonna happen!"
"No! Guys, we need to get out!" Robb shouted desperately.
"Robb, mate, my dad says we should stay here with him and the Headmaster." He put a hand on his shoulder. "They say everything's ok. Just let the others leave." Ramsay persuaded him. Walder Frey walked in from the back door.
"Daddy!" shouted Walda.
"See?" Ramsay continued with a twisted smile. "Even Walda's dad is here. They would never allow anything bad happen to us."
Robb hesitated for a moment and then nodded, hugging Jeyne tighter. "Okay. Jeyne, let's stay here. We're safe with the grown-ups." Jeyne agreed and they both took a seat next to Ramsay.
When there was no one left but them, the music faded, and Walder Frey spoke directly to Robb.
"You little bitch," he started. Robb turned to him.
"Excuse me?!" he replied sassily and stood up.
"You're not excused, you fake ass lying whore." Walder spit. "Ramsay!"
Ramsay pulled out a knife from a McAegon's chicken breast, ran to Jeyne and stabbed her on the chest several times.
Mmm whatcha sayyyy? Oh, that you only meant well, well of course you did.
Mmm whatcha sayyyy? Oh, that it's all for the best, of course it is.
Joffrey and Walda leaned on their seats, sipping red wine, enjoying the show.
"JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYNE!" Robb screamed, and ran to hold her dying body. He stared at the wounds in her bleeding chest.
"My eyes are up here, asshole." She sighed, dying.
Robb let out a scream. "WHY?!"
"Watching your silly ass butterface girlfriend die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores." Walder yelled as slobber flew from his wrinkled mouth. "My daughter Walda was supposed to go with you to prom, you stupid fuck, instead of that cheap slut who sells cheap slutty auto parts. But guess what, motherfucker, your shitty family was the one that needed us, and not the other way around. So I got myself a new partner in crime." Walder Frey dropped the mic as the Headmaster Lannister walked towards him and stood next to him. Walder hugged him by the waist and he hugged Walder by the shoulders, not taking their eyes away from Robb.
"Headmaster Lannister?" Robb's head was hurting with so much important information. "What are you-"
Ramsay stabbed him in the shoulder and Robb fell to the ground. He let out a moan and crawled towards Jeyne. He looked up at Walder Frey and tried to stand up, but he fell again. Tywin Lannister and Walder laughed hysterically and high fived each other, and then Robb stood up successfully, and faced them both.
"The King in the Prom arises," Walder laughed.
"Don't take it personally, everyone related to Sean Bean dies, remember?" said Roose Bolton as he took out a gun and shot Robb once. A clean shot on the head. Robb's body fell on top of Jeyne's. "HEADSHOT!" shouted Roose and ran to high five Walder and Tywin at the same time.
Mmm whatcha sayyyy? Oh, that you only meant well, well of course you did.
Mmm whatcha sayyyy? Oh, that it's all for the best, of course it is.
The hooded person in the stage took his hood off.
"Oh, Petyr!" the Headmaster Lannister said. "I didn't know you were here. Those were some killer tunes you were playing."
"I know right," replied Petyr Baelish, "Luckily for us, I will play them one more time."
Joffrey clapped symmetrically like a little seal, his loud laugh annoying everyone in the room, and took another shot of Pisco. "Yeah, Petyr, don't stop playing it! Mmmmm whatcha say, GODS! What a great song." Petyr rolled his eyes at the sound of his high-pitched laugh. "I just can't believe what losers the Starks are. He's dead! AHAHHAHAHAHHA! He's dea-" he started coughing non-stop. He put his hands on his throat and his face started getting as purple as Barney the Dinosaur.
"What's happening to him?!" the Headmaster asked, running to him.
"Oh, I guess it's just the booze, Headmaster." Ramsay replied, lighting a cigarette. "He's always been a light headed little bitch."
"Ramsay, he's choking!" Walda shouted in horror.
Joffrey fell to the floor on top of Robb Stark, who was on top of Jeyne Westerling. He tried to crawl to his grandfather, but his body betrayed him and he gathered the strength to say his final three words:
"Fucking Peruvian Pisco." He stopped moving abruptly.
Mmm whatcha sayyyy? Oh that you only meant well…
And for the first time in hundreds of years, the world's eyes shone red at the dread sight of a bloodbath. Carmine rivers streaked from the center of the dance floor. Lust and fun had turned to ashes in people's mouths.
