Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Artemis Fowl, nor any of it's characters.

"Tomorrow evening I shall be asking for Holly Short's hand in marriage."

Butler stared in shock, but didn't comment. His thoughts were whirring. Artemis was not a man of action. So what had made him do this? The relationship was hardly suitable. An elf and a human.

"Good luck," was all he could mutter. Butler did not have the power to change his mind. When Artemis Fowl wanted something he always got it.

Miles underground Holly's mind was on the same subject. Artemis had asked to meet her the next evening for a picnic.

She was awake in her bed all evening worrying, despite Trouble Kelp's warm arm around her an the comforting words he whispered in her ear.

"Trouble, what if he says he loves me? Then what do I tell him?"

"You tell him the truth," he replies. "You love Trouble Kelp."

Artemis leaned back against the tree. It's perfect. He's settled by a lake, a small picnic set out in front of him. 5 minutes after Holly arrives the sun will set. Then he'll propose. It's every girl's dream. She can't refuse.

"Oh wow" she breathed.

"You like it? Here, sit down."

He passes over cakes, biscuits, sandwiches, fruit. But he's restless, always looking toward the sky. Try as she might, Holly can't work it out.

Until sunset.

The pair walk to the edge of the lake. Artemis bows down on his knees.

"Holly Short, love of my life, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

She laughs, but it's hollow and sad. "Yeah, April Fool's Arty." Then she looks at his face. He wasn't joking. "I'm sorry, Artemis. I'm with Trouble."

Eyes blurred by the tears she flies into the sunset.


Chapter 2

Holly could barely sleep for about a week after her meeting with Artemis. She's called him, to no avail. She hadn't told Trouble what had happened. She was scared he'd get mad, especially if she told him the truth.

She was mad, hiding from the man she loved. The men she loved, both Trouble and Artemis.

Holly was not the only sleepless one. Artemis too was tossing and turning in bed, wondering what Trouble had done to win Holly's love. What was so special about Trouble that Artemis didn't have? Was it the species? Was it his looks? What was it?

"Hey, Trouble, you awake? I just had the strangest dream. . ." Holly reached out to find Trouble's hand. But it wasn't his. It was Artemis's. She let go fairly quickly.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Artemis answered calmly.

"Sleeping who? Never mind. Why. . ." But then she remembered the past nights events.

"Oh Frond," she whispered, though slightly more descriptive.

Artemis grinned. "You should be careful with your words around minors."

"Minor?" Holly choked. "I just slept with a minor."

He stopped grinning when he saw her tears. He began to stroke her hair, whispering gently to her. But the words barely registered in Holly's head, who was too busy panicking about Trouble. What a stupid thing to do! She was with someone! Trouble'd kill her! Of course, Holly felt she deserved it. Cheating on him. Despite the fact that Artemis was so gorgeous, so perfect, so. . . Urgh! Shut up, shut up, brain!

Yet what she said next was completely unexpected.

"Arty, that was. . .You're. . ." She sighed. "Arty, Trouble and I are getting married soon. Grub told me. I shouldn't be here."

Artemis climbed slowly out of bed, trying to stop himself shaking. "Oh, marrying Trouble, that's all right then. And there was me thinking you loved me."

Holly sat up. "Arty-"

"Don't call me Arty!" he roared. "Get out! Get out of my house, you horrible, evil b****! I hate you!"

More tears spilt onto the soft fur carpet, but Artemis was beyond caring. She left slowly, grabbing her bundle of clothes. "I hate you too, Artemis Fowl."

Artemis was fuming. He paced up and down Fowl Manor, trying to escape all thoughts of the heartless red-headed witch. How dare she! Does she have no heart? Could she not see the yearning in his eyes? 'I'm sorry. I love Trouble.' Lies. Was that meant to soften the blow? Was everything alright now, because another man was involved? Forget Artemis had saved her life, forget that Artemis had ached for her for years now.

The constantly ringing phone did nothing to improve Artemis's mood. Butler had answered it, of course, but after discovering it was Hol-her-Artemis had forbidden him to touch it. But eventually he had ripped the phone of it's perch, shaking.

"What?"

"Arty! Oh, Arty, I'm sor-"

"Sorry? If you value my sanity, do not tell me your sorry."

"But I am!"

"Leave me alone."

"But-"

"Goodbye, Holly Short."

Miles underground, the Holly Short in question was quietly sobbing. Why wouldn't he listen? He'd started it! Did he honestly believe she would hurt him like that? That she would be so cruel to someone she lo-

Shut up! You love Trouble Kelp. So she kept saying. That's what she told Artemis too. But did she really want him? Would she really choose him over Artemis Fowl? Or was she ashamed to love a Mud Man?

He could at least listen to her. At least pretend to care. Answer the phone more then once. But no. He didn't love her. But Holly Short could deny it no longer-she was in love with Artemis Fowl.

Artemis sighed. The right thing to do would be to call her. But he refused to break that easily. He ignored the fact that Holly was obviously in tears, and still calling constantly. Artemis ran a hand through his hair. She was obviously lying, there was no way she loved her. And Artemis Fowl would change that, if it was the last thing he did.

THE END

A/N:I have a sequel, which I shall post soon, if you like this one. It's my first fanfic on here, so please comment! :)