DANGER MOUSE:

THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC


"Chief, get a move on" screamed Penfold from inside the back of the police van as it sped towards the station.

Yes, Penfold had played a sneaky hand to help his boss gain the upper hand and become "agent of the month", the title bestowed to the winner of a heated crook-catching competition, by borrowing a page out of a rival agent's infiltration book, disguising himself as a criminal and allowing himself to be captured.

Only he was treated like a legit criminal and bungled into the police van with villains he and his chief were fresh off of defeating, the nefarious members of the criminal group Hydrant!

In pursuit of the van was our old glory hog himself, Danger Mouse, and in pursuit of him was someone assuredly loyal to a different sort of "old glory", Jeopardy Mouse.

"Oh you are such a cheeky cheat" snapped back Jeopardy, as she caught up to DM, grabbed his tongue as he blew a raspberry at her, tied it in knots.

"EYE SAYE, UDNTHAVTALEAUMTNGETID" said DM.

Luckily for you, I the narrator can translate gobbledy-gook, DM said, "I say, you don't have to leave me tongue tied"

"Great, I was hoping I wouldn't have to hear a peep out of him, just like Penfold, you're doing his dirty work for him" said Jeopardy.

Hey, I'm paid to give my running commentary each week, you're part time, the next time you get a status above recurring guest star, then you call the shots with me.

"Never mind, I'll cut DM a deal, he acknowledges that he cheated in the crook catching competition and hands the trophies over to me, and I'll help him spring Penfold loose before the Hydrant agents have their way with him"

"ANATHI TASA PNFL" said DM.

Translated, that's "anything to save Penfold"

Jeopardy motioned DM to get into position as she took a step or two backwards before running straight towards the back of him.

"Bend down, now" she said.

DM did as instructed, and Jeopardy played leapfrog on his back, and somersaulted a considerable distance, managing to land on the van.

She then, like every lady does, spent approximately ten minutes working out what sort of item in her purse could prove useful in breaking into the van.

"Dial back on the sexist talk Narrator" said Jeopardy.

Well, I had no idea you were Social Justice Mouse Jeopardy.

Finally, she settled on a high voltage sort of lipstick, which, when activated, sent a surging shockwave across the entirety of the van.

With its drivers incapacitated, Jeopardy leapt off the van, walked over to the unconscious driver, grabbed the keys, and opened the back of the van.

Penfold, shocked and left rattled by the electric surge, fell out of the wagon in a heap. Danger Mouse, fortunately, was there to hoist him up.

Removing Penfold's disguise, DM handed Jeopardy her trophies.

"AHGUSSIWSYATMOTHMONAFEAL" said DM

"Should I untie his tongue narrator?" asked Jeopardy.

...Trust me, at the risk of angering your inner SJM Jeopardy, you don't want to hear what just came out of DM's mouth

(Between you and you lot though, he said "I guess it was your time of the month after all")