"今日、ここで、大きな決断をさせて下さい。 私、前田敦子は AKB48を卒業します。"
(Today, here. Please let me make a big announcement. I, Maeda Atsuko, will graduate from AKB48.)
I am Takahashi Minami, the captain of AKB48 and I am madly in love with my ace, Maeda Atsuko.
Recently, Acchan had been acting so strange. She didn't seem like her normal self, as if all the joy had been drained from her. And since I have been with her since the very beginning, it slowly killed me inside to see her like this. Taking some precautionary measures, I decided to ask some of the other members what was wrong. Unfortunately, they didn't know anything either. We all started to worry. They said it was better if I asked Acchan herself; she is my best friend after all. So later one night when rehearsal had finished, everybody left, except Acchan since she usually stayed back to work some more. It was the perfect opportunity.
"Acchan." I called from behind, startling her a bit.
"Takamina, mouu, you scared me. What are you still doing here? Go home and rest."
"Enough of this," I said in a serious tone, which scared Acchan. "I demand to know. What's wrong with you? You haven't been like yourself lately and it's killing me."
She knew what I was talking about. My eyes spoke words that I didn't need to say. Her pause grew on and on.
"Why is it killing 'you'?"
"Cause you're my best friend! I care about you. Now spill it!" I started to grow impatient.
Acchan knew I was catching on to her. "*Sigh...Takamina, don't worry."
"Bullshit! We promised to tell each other everything. Now what's wrong? Don't you trust me?" my voice grew weaker as tears were on the edge of my eyes.
"Of course I do! It's just..."
"Just what?"
"Look! This isn't easy, especially for me!" Acchan snapped back at me, tears beginning to form. I guess I took it too far. "I'm sorry, Takamina..."
"For what? C'mon Acchan, please tell me..." I was desperate for her to tell me. To enhance my chances, I stepped closer and tugged at her arm. "Tell me..."
"Minami..." she said my real name. "I'm...graduating..." I couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth as if they were in a different language. Somewhere, in the back of my mind I thought she was joking and tried to shake it off. But her words were as sharp as daggers and flew straight into my heart, feeling the blood seep instantly.
"T-that's not cool, now tell me." I said to her jokingly.
"I'm not joking," she turned to face me. "Takamina, I'm sorry, but...I AM graduating." I began to cry.
"WHY? Why would you leave?"
"I-I just need to get out of here. And, I just feel like I've caused everyone so much trouble, and you!"
"What trouble? Acchan, you can't leave us! You can't leave AKB! We need you!," I fell to the floor on my knees. "I need you, Acchan." She stepped closer and pulled me in for a hug; I didn't want to let go.
"I'm so sorry Minami, but...I must go."
Ever since that confrontation, we haven't spoken one word to each other. Even though we saw each other at shows and gatherings, we stayed as far from each other. The atmosphere changed completely, and not just between us; it was between the entire group. Apparently, the other members noticed and it started to worry everyone. They started asking me questions about Acchan right in front of her. All I could do was just act as if it were nothing. It slowly killed me inside. I missed going over to her house, eating with her, playing with her after rehearsal. I missed it all. I could also see the change in Acchan. She rarely took part in any outings, always staying home like an antisocial. Right after an event, she would go straight home. Eventually, rumors began circulating about Acchan leaving AKB. This only made things worse as the other members began attacking me for answers. My sullen behavior obviously served as an answer for them. I couldn't focus on anything, but Acchan. I was even tempted to follow her to her house. Secretly, one part of me wanted to beat some sense into her, while the other wanted to crawl on my knees and beg for her to stay. God, what's wrong with me? While I sulked in my misery, Acchan then decided it was time to share her decision with the world.
It was March 25, 2012. We were having our last performance of the 3-day concert at the Saitama Super Arena. Even though I put on a happy face for the show, I just wanted to finish and get the hell out of there. I did not have the energy or desire to dance in front of a crowd, but I had to suck it up. With every dance and song, I felt the moment coming sooner than I thought. Towards the end of the show, we all stood and watched as Acchan took the mike. My eyes followed her every move as she grew nearer to revealing her secret. With her mouth at the mike, I could see her choking as she struggled to find the words to say. She started off with her beginning with AKB, and how recently, she had been causing trouble for every, including me; I thought she was wrong. She felt like it was time for her to make way for the new generation, that AKB does not need her anymore (*but I need you). Then after a few heart-filled words, she finally said it,
"I, Maeda Atsuko, will graduate from AKB48."
Those words changed my life forever, feeling my existence no long mattered.
5 MONTHS LATER...
oooo
From that day on, I felt like giving up. Now, I feel like I have to wind up myself up just to get out of bed, and later on, I would need to wind up again. Acchan had been participating less in anything AKB related. I barely saw her and barely talked to her, always wondering what she was doing at this very moment. Of course I still saw her from time to time, but I couldn't handle it. And there would be other times when she would completely slip from my mind, but it never lasted more than one hour. Despite seeing each other, I gave her the cold shoulder. I didn't want to treat her badly, but it's just my way of avoiding things sometimes, especially emotional pain. As much as my heart ached, I pushed on with life.
Right when I was in the middle of drowning myself in the inner recesses of my heart I heard my alarm go off. Time to get up and go to work, meaning I had another sleepless night. As I dragged myself to the theater, I walked through the back entrance were we usually come in and saw my beloved sweetheart. Acchan lifted her head and met my eyes (*those beautiful brown eyes). She flashed me a little smile of both happiness and sadness, but I didn't greet her. I walked past her and into the dressing room, too afraid to make conversation. I was surely in for a hell of a day. During rehearsal, of course, I wasn't as lively and playful as before. Not wanting to cause a scene, I asked Aki to be my partner for the day so I could avoid Acchan. To make things worse, I was seriously fucked in the brain since the choreographer kept yelling at me to pay attention. A couple of hours passing by and getting fed up with my attitude, we decided to end things early and relax a bit. Although the other members tried to get my attention to play, I walked out and into the back room. I sat down and faced my chair away from the door and towards the window. Slowly, I watched the sun disappear on the horizon. Soon after an hour of solitude, someone disturbed my peace.
"You know, you're not doing any good just sulking around." I turned and saw Yuko who had followed me.
I did not respond, but decided to listen to what she had to say.
"*Sigh...I know this isn't easy. You're OUR captain and we all love you. But you can't keep this up forever." Her tone irritated me. Just shut up and leave.
"SO?," I shot back at her. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?" I couldn't hold back my tears. "It's all my fault."
"No it's not. And I want you to quit acting like a baby and go to her. She's waiting, and every second you make her wait, she'll drift away. And you're gonna miss her" I bore my eyes into hers with confusion.
"I can't...not after all I put her through," Memories of Acchan flashed back and forth in my head. I just couldn't take it so I broke down in Yuko's arms and cried. After bottling everything inside, I completely lost it. I just want my Acchan back.
"So you're just gonna cry and let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away? Minami, I know you're irritated, but you know what I'm saying it true. Do what you want, but just make the right choice. Acchan graduates August 27. Get going." I heard Yuko's dead-serious tone and she walked out.
But how could I go back to my sweetheart after the way I've been treated her. I shouldn't even be calling her "my sweetheart." Would she understand? Would she reject me and never want to see me again? Would she call the whole thing off just for my sake? This suspense is killing me! But . . . . . . Yuko was right. I have been acting like a baby. And as strange as it is for Yuko to scold me, well, I'm glad she did. I want my Acchan back, and I will get her.
Its been 2 weeks since my discussion with Yuko. And I still haven't worked up the courage to confront Acchan. But now, this is a much better time. Recently, Acchan has been under so much stress so Akimoto-sensei decided to give her some personal days, but that doesn't stop her from coming in anyway. She feels that she should do as much work as any other member, thinking it wouldn't be fair if only she were off duty. But today, Acchan was forced to take off.
When rehearsal was a wrap, I grabbed my things and was out like a light. I left quickly so the other members couldn't get to me. They always hammer me with questions. I stopped at home to wash up and then headed to Acchan's place. I know she hates surprise guests, but I couldn't just call her out of nowhere. A few minutes later, I arrive at her house. As I got out of the car I felt my legs tremble just walking to her door. For a few seconds, I stood there, debating if I should go as planned. I wanted to turn back for a sec, but my love for Acchan was too great. I finally worked up the courage and rang her doorbell. A couple seconds passed and I rang again. Two minutes felt like two hours and still no answer. Desperate, I started to bang on her door.
"Acchan! I know your home! Let me in! Acchan!" She finally opened the door.
"I heard you the first time." She said with a low voice.
"Then why didn't you answer?" I was irritated again, but I was jumping with joy inside as I saw my sweetheart.
"I-I thought it was too good to be true...that you'd come here for me..." I looked at her with confusion by her words.
"What do you mean?" She directed me inside. It has certainly been awhile since I stepped foot in her house. Everything still looks the same. Once the door closed, all hell broke loose. Acchan started to cry out loud and fell on her knees.
"Takamina...Takamina, I'm s-s-sorry." she cried over and over. God, the sight instantly killed me.
"For what? Shh, shh, please don't cry. It's okay, I'm here now, like I should've been in the first place." I could feel my heart eat itself.
"I've been so cruel to you. I didn't even think about your opinion. I'm abandoning you all..." I can't take this...I lean in and kissed her.
"Atsuko, I was holding you back. Who am I to do that? I want you to spread your wings. Shoot for the sky, and I'll be ready to catch you if you fall. I-I'm sorry."
"I love you, Minami."
"And I love you Atsuko," I felt her soft, warm lips press against mine. It was the best feeling in the world. "Atsuko, I want to make you mine."
Confused by my words, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Finally, I'm in control again. I laid her down on the couch and assaulted her lips. My hands placed themselves above her head and traveled all around her cute body. The little body wiggled under, which scared me if I did something wrong. I pulled apart and stared down seeing her tear-filled eyes. I kissed her tears away then kissed her. This seemed to give her some relief so I continued. With my lips to hers, I gently unbuttoned her blouse, bit by bit revealing the gorgeous body of hers as our tongues fought each other. Even with my eyes closed I could feel her blush at my actions. (*God, don't get any cuter.) Shrugging her blouse on the floor, I placed butterfly kisses on her stomach, she moaned my name and ran her fingers through my hair. This was all new to the both of us. I've never had any experience in this kind of world so I was beginning to shy away, but deep down I wanted her to be mine, and only mine. Going up and down, I made a stop at Acchan's black bra, the treasure that was waiting underneath. Realizing what I was doing, she threw her arms in front, trying to cover herself up but the smaller girl held her grip and gently pried them away. My hands reaching the back, I unhooked Acchan's bra and slid it off her arms. Never have I seen such beautiful breasts like hers. I heard Acchan emit a loud moan when I wrapped my lips around her left breast, teasing her hard nub. I switched from left to right, not sure of which one I like best. Drowning in the taste, Acchan tugged at my head.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked in fear.
"I-I w-wanna see you t-too." Acchan stuttered by asking her request, her facing blushing.
Her wish is my command so I got up and got rid of each fabric of clothing, one by one. Acchan stared at me in surprise by my bravery since I always hated being revealed in front of other members. But this...this is totally different. With all my naked glory, I resumed by job, but was halted as Acchan lifted herself in a sitting position and attacked my breasts. I let my moans out, not caring if anyone heard. My sweet heart is being brave for me. Every nerve in my body went haywire with the new sensation she was giving me. I closed my eyes and placed my hands on her head, messing up her beautiful locks. Having enough of my top-half, Acchan went down even further to my core.
"No no no. You're going first." I said as I stopped her. She shot me a puppy-dog look, but as cute as she is, she has to go first.
"I'm sorry, but you're going first, just relax and it'll feel amazing." I hotly breathed into her ears. Laying her back down on the couch, I took no hesitation and dived right into her core. I teased her at first by giving a long lick on her opening, making her hips buck. Damn, Acchan tastes really good,as I became addicted to her juices. Acchan was certainly getting into it while she messed up my hair. It was time to move on to the next stop, so I left core, making her whine, and went to kiss her. Distracted her with my lips and my fingers circled her little nub, positioning my finger and thrusting it inward. This made her release a tough groan of pleasure. Gaining enough moisture, I moved my finger in and out, slowly building up the pace. Acchan's moans melted in my kisses, sending pleasure throughout my body. And without warning, I was building my own wetness, and Acchan slipped her fingers inside me. Too busy with her pleasure, I didn't even notice until she pulled away and looked down at me. God, I never felt this good in my life. Acchan was now copying everything I did to her. As I increased my pace, so did she. Now, this became a race. And apparently, I lost as I felt Acchan's insides clench my fingers and her warm fluids coated my fingers and slid onto my hands. The feeling of her juices made me go crazy and I soon followed after her. We both removed our fingers for a little taste.
"My Takamina tastes really delicious."
"And so does my sweetheart." Our lips met again for a short, but deep kiss.
"You almost slipped away from me. I'm sorry Atsuko." The tears began to well up again as I held her in my arms.
"But you caught me right on time," she kissed my tears away. "I love you Minami."
"And I love you. And where ever you go, I will be there." We smiled. Exhausted from the best sex we've ever had, we fell asleep in each other's arms.
Soon, the day came as faster than I expected. I stood beside Acchan as she readied herself. And with the whole world watching . . . . . . . . Acchan graduated. She turned to me with pain, but happiness.
"Always remember that I'd NEVER leave you."
