Disclaimer: I don't own the characters contained in this non for profit story.
A/N: Just so you know I could barely stomach the TARFU disaster that was S5 a.k.a Once Upon a Hook: The Pacification of Emma Swan. Up next in S6 I imagine they'll get back to ruining Regina. So after cringing all the way up to the last episode of S5 I decided to start writing this as the equivalent of doing a drano bomb to clean out the shit I watched. In short this is a storyline that you'll never see in S6...enjoy!
}=={{:}}=={ Dedicated Follower Of Fashion }=={{:}}=={
1. Fillet The Bitch
"Are you still sorry?"
Regina whirls around to face her other half; the better half, because the other piece of her is stronger and was forged in a fire hot enough to manipulate iron. The Queen's face is one of thorough amusement even though everything she's witnessed on her own in the here and now is nothing to relish. Earlier The Queen watched a far too timid Regina allow her own son to tell her that it was a good thing that she ripped out a vital part of her personality. Does the boy, with all he's seen, still fail to grasp that humans by nature are both light and dark at the same time?
"Never mind, don't answer that. I saw enough before I allowed myself to crumple to dust; no thanks to you." The Queen said as she gathers up the long black skirt of her dress coat and looks about the room. "I see you're back to your second favorite place to brood, this study. Whereas the vault is option numero uno. You know it's rather funny how you seem to prefer going to ground, or is the vault your underground panic room?"
Regina sneers while the Queen moves further into the room. The sheer confidence is enough to rattle Regina a little because an ambush by the Evil Queen wasn't how she saw her afternoon going. But despite the daylight both women are wearing black as if they're both in mourning, and truth be told both women regard the shade of black as the finest color for any armor they choose to wear.
"Regina, I want to tell you that I'm glad I'm not in your body anymore if you think that making eyes at Jekyll or even Hyde is a good bet for a rebound." The Queen said as she moves around the low table at her knees and then sits down near the armrest of deep brown leather sofa. "Honestly, when did you start thinking that was the answer to all your problems?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh, please Regina! I have my own eyes now and I see how you are these days. And I don't like what I've seen."
Regina will never acknowledge the truth out loud about how incomplete she feels since the separation and it hasn't even been very long yet. Regina is still coming to the conclusion that she may have let the idiots on the roof convince her that in a signature drastic move counter-measure she excels at in the worst possible times was a good idea.
"All the spine you had was from me. Example: 'Gold still has a nose and I still have a fist'. That's me dear, not you."
The Queen situates herself on the sofa; leaning back into it with one arm propped on the armrest, while she lays the other one on her lap. Regina hesitates because looking at a reflection is one thing but it's another to see an image of yourself in the flesh.
"Don't you or rather have you ever stopped and looked around and then took a look inward and asked yourself: 'Is this all there is'?"
"All the time when you were a part of me." Regina said with obvious irritation. "I consider myself lucky to have been given a means for getting rid of you."
The Queen sees red for a second. The wound is still fresh after all and how dare Regina carve into the gash deeper. The audacity Regina has to imply that the Queen were some kind of cancer that was long overdue for removal since she was already a type of radioactive poison.
"No, I was talking about the one thing we had in common." The Queen said with a minor growl. "What brought us together was the need for freedom...by any means necessary."
"Is that what you're going to call it?"
The Queen sighs, "I'm not going to waste time reliving our past and I'm not here to deliver the some equivalent of a grand sermon on the mount."
"Then why are you here?"
The Queen has no wish to reveal her hand to what she's starting to label as the lesser mind of the woman who sounds more and more like a self-righteous idiot these days.
"I'm here because you are, Regina. Where you go I go...but not because I want to."
Regina smirks since it would appear that she can't kill the Queen then the Queen has no power to harm her either. Regina knows that her magic is off more than it was when the first curse broke, and trying to call what she has against her other half isn't a smart move now.
"So you're here to what? Bend the feeble denizens to your will? Or have you come to town to kill me to get your revenge on me for crushing your heart?"
The Queen rolls her eyes because her other half has an unhealthy fixation on death. The Queen thinks Regina practically asks for it on a semi-regular basis from a variety of people that have come into her life for whatever reason.
"Oh cut the crap!" The Queen shouted with a unmistakable snarl. "Why would I try to kill you? Who are you without me? We are the same person. And some would argue that one cannot exist without the other, but I differ in that respect now."
In that instant Regina turns toward the sideboard in the guise of getting another drink but she also discretely slips out her cell phone and then taps out a simple text for magical backup. Back to the task at Regina grips the half-empty decanter and then as it tips towards her glass a slight, nearly undetectable shake makes Regina's normally steady hand slosh a bit more cider into her tumbler than she intended.
The Queen is studying her counterpart closely and she smirks when she catches the movement of Regina slipping what can only be her cell phone back into the front pocket of the slacks she's wearing. Regina is predictable to the Queen for more reasons than just being that they are one and the same. The Queen shakes her head and counts to five in her head and then when white smoke erupts in the room just at the threshold of the doorway the Queen has to hold in a chuckle. So predictable.
"Well look what the curse dragged in." The Queen said with enough glee to be either be construed as sarcastic or very sarcastic. "Hello, Emma. Come to do battle with me or are you smart enough not to buy into what you see for once?"
Emma appears at a loss and she can't decide what to do and that happens to her a lot; more than she's comfortable admitting, "What I see? Well, I saw you lunge after my mother in New York and that's why I threw the chains on you."
The Queen smirks because the next thing on her to do list after this little get together is to find a new type of clothing that befits her personality. The leather pants she's wearing will remain in one form or another but the rest will have to be nothing remotely close to what Regina would wear. The Queen thinks Regina dresses like some white collar soccer mom as of late. Mayor Mills had more style and just more of everything, especially in those years when Henry had just been introduced into Regina's drab cursed life.
The Queen laughs, "Sorry about that Savior. I'm afraid it was an old ingrained instinct courtesy of that short drink of cider standing over there."
"I don't follow." Emma said and then she looks to Regina for guidance. Regina meets her eyes but doesn't say anything; instead she takes a small sip of her drink. "What's going on here? You don't look like you're in any danger to be honest, Regina."
The Queen doesn't bother to get up from her seat. She's content to watch these two sad morons in front of her more objectively now. The Queen almost hates to call her former host an idiot but actions speak for themselves and with some people you just can't win.
"So what am I supposed to call you…Tyler Durden? Because this feels like the fairy tale version of 'Fight Club'." Emma said as she takes a few steps towards the Queen. "I don't know if you recall but I'm not much on being proper, still I bet you don't like the E-word so I'll leave that alone. That is unless you're planning on taking up your old hobbies?"
The Queen lets loose a dark, dirty chuckle, "You know Emma...I don't have a name or even a title as far as I'm concerned. I don't exist anymore according to Regina."
The Savior feels like she should be used to shit like this by now, particularly when she's having a mind meld moment on where she could easily picture herself being face to face with the Dark Swan.
"Is this gonna be like Zelena only ten times worse?" Emma said while glancing between the two women in the room. "This is crazy. I should've thrown that damn potion in the river or something."
The Queen quirks an eyebrow, "Regrets over little old me? Why I'm flattered, Emma."
"Okay, clearly you like calling me Emma which is weird." The Savior said with a shrug and wide eyes. "Especially when it took Regina almost a year to stop referring to me as Miss Swan with a sneer."
The Queen laughs, "Regina likes her petty torments wrapped up in etiquette. But personally I always thought she took herself far too seriously and where's the fun in that?"
Emma can't decide whether to frown or smile at the regal woman on the sofa. Regina Mills she is not but she also isn't the Evil Queen Emma met that one time at a ball where she pretended to be that princess from Star Wars.
"What are you doing?" Regina said sternly to the Queen and the woman on the sofa just grins. "Emma has already done her time as the Dark One and she doesn't need you trying to worm your way into her head."
Emma shuffles closer to her friend on impulse, closer to Regina, until they are almost shoulder to shoulder. Regina takes the last sip of her drink and then she turns and sets the glass back on the sideboard. Regina has learned to trust Emma, more than once, and even when she swore that Emma had burned it all down between them it didn't last. Regina doesn't spend too much time thinking about the way Emma earned back her trust because it wasn't done with actions, no, her trust was earned back by some kind words. No one has ever called Regina unique or special even though both words Emma used share the same meaning.
The Queen looks between the two women standing over her and she doesn't feel the least bit threatened or diminished by them. Both women have allowed a kind of decay to take hold and it's eating away at their respective cores in the Queen's eyes. Both women aren't even a shadow of their former selves. Emma Swan and Regina Mills are practically ghosts visiting from the dead. The Queen tilts her head to the side and with a smirk she waves her hand and The Savior who is far too in love with red leather disappears just as quickly as she planted herself in this situation. And to make sure that Emma won't be interrupting again the Queen adds a spell to keep The Savior out until she's done here.
"Dark One? Please? Emma is no better than her parents now. In fact I never thought I would say this but the Savior has fallen even further from herself than you've managed to and that says something as well." The Queen said as she crosses her legs and her leather pants barely make a sound as the material slides against itself. "She must be a raging masochist to have dropped anchor in the scurvy seas of Hook to stay there, sleep there and heaven forbid if she decides to marry it too. Can you imagine that man as a stepfather to our son?"
Regina nearly gags at the picture the Queen has just crudely painted; an unwashed, hairy pirate hugging her son, playing house with her son and Emma too. The Savior has a house bigger than Regina's now and the thought of Emma breeding with the rum soaked fool is sobering.
"But then again what was your happy little life plan with the forest dweller? Was he really what you would consider father material for Henry even after he impregnated our older sister? I mean I'm willing to concede that all people make mistakes but I doubt Zelena, even disguised as Marian, had to chain poor defenseless Robin to the bed to have her way with him. And now what's worse in my opinion is that little girl has to bear the man's name for life and listen to the lies about him to make it all sustainable."
Regina feels herself cringing because nothing about Robin's actions are any more noble than Zelena's, but at least Zelena was honest about her intentions all the way through. Not to mention the fact that Robin only half-way chose Regina after Marion was truly dead, again, and this time by Regina's older sister's hand instead of her own. Regina suddenly feels like her head should split open from all the angles that have been driven into her thoughts.
"Well-well, I've managed to shut you up, how wonderful. But to finally exhaust the subject on your dearly departed Robin I want to know one last thing." The Queen smirks in a way that draws up one corner of her mouth. "What were you thinking when you decided to fuck him in your vault with his cursed wife Marian only a few rooms away? You know the only way you could have possibly outdone that indiscretion was back during the Dark Curse."
Regina starts to speak but there aren't enough readily available words and her mind isn't as quick as it used to be. Regina frowns at that realization and at the Queen's apparent distaste for her actions which is surreal to say the least.
The Queen chuckles darkly, "Here let me help you, Regina. Just imagine bringing your preferred distraction, not mine, sad and furry Graham down to the vault during the Dark Curse and then...FUCKING HIM NEXT TO DANIEL'S COFFIN!"
Regina startles even as she feels sick, angry and her hands are starting to shake from too many emotions clashing all at once. Regina thinks that this is what mental illness should feel and look like.
"Not a pretty picture now is it?" The Queen said with a mocking grin that's more of a grimace. "I cannot believe how you let yourself persistently yearn over that useless bastard; all he was good for was lying about his code, his intentions and screwing. And yet I saw nothing about him that would turn my head and I would certainly never deign to lift my skirts for him, unlike you."
"Well then what were you doing in my dream warning me away from Robin not too long ago?"
"Listen to yourself; I was trying to chase you away from the likes of him. How much plainer does: 'Get away from him!' have to be before your understanding latches on?"
"What does it matter now?" Regina said as her mind flashes to the man she won't admit to anyone or even herself all that often that she coached herself to have feelings for. "Robin's dead."
"Well, maybe if you'd let that pixie dust foolishness go the poor bastard would still be alive. I was the one that stopped you from running into that tavern all those years ago because I couldn't see myself living a life on my back squatting out kids with that..." The Queen visibly shivers and waves her hand in dismissal while her face contorts in disgust. "You didn't miss out, but then again I felt like the curse business wasn't much of a step up either."
Regina grits her teeth and turns her back on the Queen in favor of the sideboard to grab the tumbler she was using to pour herself another finger of cider in. Regina has been indulging some lately but not in a way that would lean her towards the category of an emerging alcoholic.
The Queens uncrosses her legs and leans forward on the sofa, "You are so afraid of me, ashamed of me that it's no wonder you can't have a happy ending. You don't deserve one if you can't accept who you are and the same goes for the person you choose. And you should choose not accept what's offered as if you should be glad you're getting what will always be less in my estimation. You were worth more than that."
"Where is this coming from?" Regina said in a much higher pitched voice while turning back around, drink in hand, to face the woman on the sofa. "All you're good for is..."
"Is what? Crushing hearts and taking names? Careful dear, you're starting to sound like the two self-righteous idiots we both know." The Queen said coolly with a raised eyebrow. "And you are the one who lets your emotions run you dear; that's not me. I'm your logical side, the backbone and brains of us, and you are obviously the heart, which is why crushing my heart didn't work. My heart doesn't rule me like yours does, but I have feelings just the same and don't you dare forget that."
Regina's skirted around madness or at least that's what she told herself all those decades ago when she looked like the woman in front of her. But now in Regina's study it finally hits her that she's broken some kind of unnatural law and the Queen is going to take the price out her for it. And Regina knows she just might deserve it for letting herself be pulled in too many directions at once.
"It's going to be you or me, one way or the other. This isn't going to end in death and you can't exile me any further than you've already done." The Queen said with a sneer and hard dark eyes. "I look forward to watching you slip away until there's nothing left. You won't last long without me."
Regina feels tears threatening to fill her eyes and then the next thing they would be running down her cheeks in volume. The road to hell has always been paved with good intentions and it's too bad that nobody is willing to admit it until they're already traveling on it.
"Stop."
"What for?"
Regina takes a deep breath and moves closer to herself. It's almost like looking in a mirror but there are real differences. The Queen looks younger than her and those eyes are dark with defiance and a deeper intelligence than what Regina see's when she does look in the mirror at her reflection now.
"If I can undo the effects of the potion...I will."
The Queen scoffs, "Take me back? Oh please, I don't need you when all you've ever done is hold me back. I'm free from your petty whims, fixations on one person being the balm to your troubled soul. After all that I've had to put up with you I have no interest in being saddled with you ever again."
Regina flinches; she didn't mean to but it happened. The woman sitting on her leather sofa isn't what she expected. The only thing the Queen has lived up in terms of expectations is wardrobe selection and Regina finds that she's envious for a moment.
"Good to know and here's a word of advice from me to you...stay away from Henry."
The Queen scoffs, "Henry's your son not mine, but I won't hurt him, I will never do that, but I'm also not going to pander to him the way you do if he comes looking for me." The Queen said and Regina clenches her hands until they're white knuckled fists, even the one wrapped around the tumbler. "You know your son doesn't really respect you as the person who took him in, loved him, raised from an infant until he was barely old enough to run off and lure Emma Swan here. And furthermore, all I can recall is Henry's distaste for the Evil Queen, which I'm sure he would be surprised to find out isn't actually me."
"But you..."
"I what? Look like her? Don't judge a book by its cover, dear. But more importantly you should know that the so called 'Evil Queen' only exists when you and I are one, not the other way around."
Regina has spent this whole encounter off-kilter and rightly so. The woman sitting in her study is her but not exactly, and yes Regina is starting to see that this woman as simply The Queen.
"What do you think you can accomplish here?"
"Here? In Storybrooke? I'm not staying in this curse created place." The Queen said with a dismissive gesture. "I had my fill for twenty-eight long years under your bitter little thumb. So you can keep it, love it and go to bed with every night for all I care along with all the other simpering morons."
Regina drops the tumbler of cider she's holding, nursing really in her hands as an excuse to hold onto something. The glass shatters on the hardwood floor but the sound of breaking glass is mute when it's in direct competition with such an unlikely standoff.
"You're going to leave? How?"
The Queen smirks and smoothly rises out of the leather sofa, "Now why would I tell you that, dear? You wanted me gone and I'm more than happy to oblige." Regina watches as the Queen steps closer. "And now that I've mostly gotten over the shock of our...wait that's not accurate, your separation from me I'm going to have some real fun with you."
Regina narrows her eyes in a poor attempt at intimidation and at the sight of the forced act the Queen smiles and laughs, "You know I can wait. I have more patience than you and this situation should prove to be interesting for a while until I'm able to be free of you for good. I mean who said that you get to decide anything in regards to me?"
Regina opens her mouth to speak but no words come out; the Queen has made her mute, so Regina glares at the chuckling woman as purple smoke envelopes her frame. Then Queen is gone from Regina's study the same way as she arrived, and in her place there are more things left demoralized in the room than just glass on the floor. Regina doesn't know if she has enough magic to undo such a simple nuisance spell to get her voice back, and it's then with horror Regina realizes that the Queen already knows all her handicaps and she may have done more than just render her silent. Regina takes a long look around the room and with a wave of her hand she calls forth her magic only nothing happens and it's like the candle incident all over again after the first curse broke, but to Regina this feels frighteningly more like her magic is slipping away.
Soundtrack: "The Sound Of Silence" by Disturbed & "Empty" by Garbage
