Somewhere Along the Line
A kiss.
It can mean a lot of things.
Politeness. Friendship. Comfort. Love.
One kiss.
It was definitely the latter for you. Love.
One kiss.
That's all it took.
One solitary ambiguous kiss to realise that you liked him. Really liked him. The next day, you were practically glowing. He'd call it staring. You'd call it gazing. But what made it worse, you were gazing at him.
Years pass, nothing changes. Life goes on, doesn't it?
But you don't move on. You know you have to.
Somewhere along the line you know you do. But somewhere along that same line you always thought you'd be together. You said so yourself in Hungary. Leo did too. You weren't just being crazy. Someone else believed it. That was a little bit more comforting.
He, on the other hand, hasn't a clue. Completely oblivious.
He lost Anna. You know that. But at least he had a chance with her. He's still here. But you've lost him. Without even knowing what it would feel like. To have him. To hold him. Til' death do us part. It was Anna who did that, not him. Died. He survived. So why do you both feel as if a little part of you died there?
You would have been together, you tell yourself. If he had never met Anna. That's right. You're blaming it all on a dead woman. That will help. But slowly, its ripping a hole through your heart. It's like the last legal form of torture.
But he doesn't feel that way. Penny. Rebecca. Anna. He fell in love with them within the week. Seven years you've known him. Nothing. If he didn't fall for you then, there's no chance in hell now.
So you've got a date. Doing the healthy thing and moving on. You're thinking about him. Smart, witty, annoying gorgeous. You do wonder who you've just described though. Your date...Ben, was it? Or Harry? You sigh as you realise it's both. You're dating someone who is the carbon copy to Harry.
It's funny how his name permeates into every topic. Every thought. Every sentence. That's one of the three things that he should never know.
One- He's your popular subject. He could be your specialist subject on Mastermind.
Two- You love him, and you hate it because you can't stop. You can't think why, after all this time.
And three- Anything about your love life. You only noticed recently. He knows everything about your sex life. Names, dates, times. The ones you loved, the ones who loved you back, and the ones who broke your heart, and left him to pick up the pieces.
But what do you know about his love life? A few names; some random facts?
You're silent.
He, on the other hand, won't shut up. Giving relationship advice (really?), teasing, generally being Harry. But yet you're mad at him. Mad for not knowing, not caring, not feeling the same way. You're really just mad at yourself. Either way, you're not really listening to him.
He tells you not to do anything that he would do. Huh. You thought the saying was not to do anything he wouldn't do.
Hmmm. Don't do anything he would do. You decide to test his theory.
He would fall in love in a week- He's telling you not to do that.
He would die for someone he's known for a week in a foreign country, to get justice for their untimely death there- He's telling you not to do that.
He would hide his feelings. Lock them up to protect them from the fire. To stop them from getting burned. He guards them with his life- Is he telling you not to do that? Interesting.
So you tell yourself it's now or never. It's really now, but you've chickened out so many times previous, that you need this to persuade yourself.
And so, biting that infamous bullet, you tell him. You tell him that you're feeling something for him.
You think you know what.
He sees your face. You're serious.
He says he thinks he knows what too.
He tells you that he has feelings for you.
He says that he feels that you're a little annoying. But hey, you can't always get everything you want.
The irony of the truth.
You begin to walk away, exasperated.
He grabs your arm, your hearts skips a beat. He spins you round. Now he's serious too. Without a jibe, a word, not even a sound. He pulls you flush against him, his face as honest as a mirror. He smiles, that smile that makes you feel all light headed. It takes you a while to realise that he's smiling at you.
Your lips tingle with excitement. You really hope he's serious. You hope he doesn't mind that your lips have gone numb.
Gently, his lips find yours. You melt like an ice-cream in summer.
You know you're thinking ahead. You can't help it. Somewhere along the lineyou know you'll have everything. A future. With him. This is it.
You think about the past, its relevance, its irrelevance.
But this. Right here, right now. It's everything you've ever wanted. Both of you.
The past, the present, and the anticipation of the future. They all merge, like colours of a rainbow. It's blissful. You wouldn't change it for anything. All these years, and every second was worth it. For this moment.
"Sorry, am I interrupting?" Leo walks into the room.
(Yes.) "No," you reply simultaneously.
"New case for you both. Female body found, without a head. Blood everywhere according to the DCI. The sensitivity of police will never fail to amaze me. I think he's lost his head. No pun intended, given the circumstances. Oh, and Harry? You'll love this. The DCI? Bob Mumford."
Moment ruined. By Leo. By Mumford. By Harry, moaning about Mumford.
But you don't mind. Because its six years later, and you've both just whispered those three little words that have the potential to change everything. In a good way. And later you'll be at his house. He says he's cooking.
And then you're laughing. He can't cook. Nor can you really. So, takeaway it is. But you don't mind. You can't wait, actually.
Because you know it won't be like every other Friday night. A takeaway. A sofa. A movie that neither of you are really watching. This time, it will be different.
One kiss. Everything has changed.
Because this time you're both smiling. It must be infectious.
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Lucky- Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat
Okay, so that's this one done. Been playing around with this for a while, not sure I like it but I'm leaving it like this before I ruin it further. If you haven't heard the song, listen to it. Ashamed to say I have got into Glee and they did a cover of this...and it just seemed to fit.
Review? I'll bake you a fairy cake? Go on...press the shiny button!
And one last thing:
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Silent Witness. Just some well-worn DVDs. If I did, Nikki and Harry wouldn't be so oblivious. But I don't know if I'd be able to share Tom Ward xxx
