This song, "I Need You" by Tim McGraw, came up on my shuffle last night and, as I listened to the words, I thought this could have been a song that Deacon and Rayna might have written together or that Deacon might have written about Rayna when they were apart. So I re-imagined it as a song that he wrote for her when they were pretending to be just friends. And what would it have been like if he sang it for her. I might look for other similar songs and write more. Hope you enjoy! Any feedback welcomed.

The day's rehearsal went particularly well. Rayna was happy with it. Bucky was happy with it. The new fiddle player was working out really well. Deacon had done a really good job of helping her fit in with the rest of the band quickly.

Rayna thought about Deacon. She was continually amazed at his commitment to his sobriety. It had been over seven years. She would never have predicted it, not after five times in rehab. And, as always, it caused her to wonder what might have been had she waited for him this time. They could have been together, raising Maddie, being a family. But, as always, she had to stop those thoughts. It didn't do any good to ponder what ifs. She was married to Teddy, Maddie was Teddy's daughter, not Deacon's, and they had Daphne now. Her life was comfortable, pleasant, drama-free. Boring. Rayna frowned at that last random, unwelcome thought.

Deacon walked by her at just that moment. "Hey, Ray. Something wrong?"

She looked up, confused for a moment. Then smiled. "No, no, nothing's wrong. Everything's great, actually." She signaled towards the exit with a nod of her head. "Let's walk and catch up."

Deacon fell in step with her as they walked out of Sound Check. "Are you feeling good about where we are? Do you feel comfortable with Laura?"

Rayna smiled at him. "I do. She's fabulous. And you've done a great job on fitting her in with the rest of us." She took his arm as they walked. "I'm proud of you, Deacon. I don't think I tell you enough. I'm glad we're able to work together so well."

Deacon laughed. "I don't know who else would put up with you, Ray. You need me."

Rayna leaned her head onto his shoulder for a moment and then they just walked, saying nothing. Everything they said to each other seemed to have double meanings. The tension was always there, the need was always like a quiet drum beat that just kept everything moving along. But Rayna worked hard to keep the line drawn. Deacon was her best friend, but she was always conscious of their past and she thought he probably felt the same.

Rayna broke the silence. "You know, I've never understood why you didn't want to go out on your own." She stopped, turned to face him and squinted up at him, the sun in her eyes. "You could be a solo performer with your own band."

Deacon smiled and shook his head. "That's not for me. I think I'm just the type that likes to be in the background. Plus, I like playing in your band. What would you do without me?"

Rayna laughed. "I would miss you, that's for sure. So, do you still play at The Bluebird?"

"I do. That's enough solo time for me." He looked away. "I wish you'd stop by sometime."

Rayna looked away as well. "Oh, you know, with little ones it's hard to get away at night. But, maybe I can sometime." And then she took his arm again and they walked some more.

#

Rayna pulled into the parking lot at The Bluebird and parked. It was packed, as usual. She sat in the car, debating whether to go in. She wasn't sure it was a good idea. She knew a lot of Deacon's material was about her. Or she thought so anyway. It made her nervous.

She had actually come here many times before but either drove on past or sat in her car before driving off. The Bluebird was where they had started and it always brought back memories. Deacon and Rayna memories that left her melancholy. And so again she sat. It was so comfortable having him in her band, in her life. They could act a little sexy on the stage and it was just that, an act. Except that it always sent her to a dark place after a show. She'd have to have some time alone to stop the thudding heart, the tingling feeling she had, the yearning. She also felt it whenever she looked at Maddie. Maddie had Deacon's talent at the guitar, even at seven. And Maddie had Deacon's eyes. Those eyes that brought back so many memories, so many hurts, so many regrets.

She shook off the introspection. She almost left, again, but this time she took the keys out, opened the car door, and walked up to The Bluebird.

When she opened the door, it was really crowded. She could see Deacon on the stage. The guy at the door said "M'am, we're full." She felt relief. Then he looked at her closely. "Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Jaymes, but we do have some standing room. Or I could try to find you a seat."

Rayna smiled ruefully. "No, that's fine. I'll stand. I'm not staying long." She slid over into a corner, hoping to stay hidden from Deacon. He seemed to be concentrating on his playing, so she thought she was safe.

But when she had turned away for a second, Deacon saw her. He felt heat rising inside, but decided not to let her know he'd seen her. He suspected she wanted to be hidden. But he'd let her know, in his own way, that he appreciated her finally coming to see him play. When he finished the song he was playing, he said "Here's a new one. Just finished, never played it before."

As he started to play, Rayna smiled. It started out soft and low, the chords beautiful.

I wanna drink that shot a whiskey

I wanna smoke that cigarette

I wanna smell that sweet addiction on my breath

Rayna felt her stomach clench. This one was about her. She wondered if he'd seen her after all.

I wanna ride across West Virginia

In the back seat of a Cadillac

You know some cowboys like me go out like that

She always called him a cowboy. Her cowboy.

So I need you like a needle needs a vein

Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs rain

I need you like a lighthouse on a coast

Like the Father and the Son need the Holy Ghost

I need you

Rayna swallowed hard. Her hands were moist. Her insides felt like melted candy. She felt lightheaded. She could imagine them singing this to each other. This would have been their kind of song.

She remembered many days of songwriting. Rarely did they sit down with that in mind. It was usually after a show, when they were still a little jazzed and a lot buzzed. Or lying in bed in the morning or on a weekend afternoon. The words would come and Deacon would pick out the melodies and then she would lead him back to bed or, if they were already there, she'd take his guitar and lay it on the floor, and they'd celebrate.

I wanna get lost in some corner booth

Cantina Mexico

I wanna dance to the static of an AM radio

This reminded her of trips they took to Mexico. That was where they liked to get away, staying in small beachside hotels, making out in dive bars that tourists never went to. Where they went to recharge, where no one knew them and they were free to laugh and play and drink and make love with no one watching. It was always sultry, hot and a little bit dirty.

I wanna wrap the moon around us

Lay beside you skin on skin

Make love 'til the sun comes up

'Til the sun goes down again

Deacon, you're killing me, she thought. She could barely breathe. She wanted to leave but she couldn't move. Every nerve in her body was on fire. She needed him, wanted him, loved him. It had never changed for her, although she had compartmentalized it well.

Cause I need you like a needle needs a vein

Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain

I need you like a lighthouse on a coast

Like the Father and the Son need the Holy Ghost

I need you, I need you

They always fought. Because she had a mouth. Because he used whiskey to fan the flames. But the anger always led them back together. Because they were two halves of a whole. Because they needed each other. Like a needle needs a vein. Hadn't he told her once she was the needle in his vein? Maybe more than once. She was flat against the wall, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide. She felt like everyone knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling. And that they knew he wrote this for her, about her.

I wanna drink that shot a whiskey

I wanna smoke that cigarette

You know how some cowboys like me go out like that

So I need you, oh I need you

And as he ended the song, he looked right in her eyes. He was singing to her. He had known she was there all along. She couldn't immediately stop looking at him. And in those few moments, their eyes said everything to each other, that they were still connected at the soul. She took several deep breaths. She was still hot all over. She needed air. She finally looked away and quickly moved towards the door and walked outside, gasping for breath.

Inside, Deacon's eyes followed her all the way out. And he had a small smile on his face because he knew she understood what that song was all about.

And also inside was Watty White, who knew Deacon had written that song for Rayna, for the two of them to sing together, even though he knew Rayna would fight it. He also knew Rayna had been there and that she didn't realize he was. He wasn't trying to complicate her life, but he knew a winner when he heard it. Rayna might have been the star, but it was really when the two of them were together, singing from their hearts, that there was magic. It had always been so and, Watty suspected, it would always be.

Tomorrow would be time enough for him to convince her that Deacon had just written her next hit.