A/N: I love me some mini-Glee, I gotta say. I think little kids are just the sweetest, and I can't wait to be a mother. Until then, I'll make do with my Glee babies ;). Details on prompts at the bottom.
Warning(s): There's some language in this one.
Bad Word
"Ow, fuck!"
That word. That word.
Burt froze, then slowly lowered his newspaper to reveal his son Kurt innocently playing on the living room floor one of his Tonka trucks. Yes, truck – that was it. Kurt had probably just said truck.
"Kurt, buddy," he said slowly, and the little boy looked up from his toy, head cocked.
"Yes, Daddy?"
"Can you repeat what you just said?"
"…Ow?" Kurt responded, clearly confused. "The truck rolled over my finger, so I saids ow."
"No, the other word," Burt pressed, taking a sip of his beer and trying to calm himself, because surely his little boy hadn't said –
"Fuck."
The word was dropped casually from the lips of the four-year-old, making Burt choke on his sip of beer.
"Daddy, are you okay?" the little boy asked as he stood up and inched closer to his coughing father. Burt waved him back down.
When he regained the ability to breath, he told Kurt, "Listen, buddy, that… that's not a good word."
"What word? Fu–"
"Yes! That word," But quickly cut him off, not wanting to hear his son say it again and add to his feelings of failing as a parent. "We don't say that word in this house. It's a bad word. Promise me you won't say it anymore."
Kurt's blue eyes went wide. "Okay, Daddy, I pinky promise." He held up his pinky, and Burt reluctantly took the offer and they sealed the 'pinky promise' (and God, did he ever feel unmanly).
Kurt was still staring curiously at his father, and Burt sighed. "Anything else you wanna ask now, kiddo?" Might as well get it over with.
"Well… if fu– I mean, if that's word is bad, then why does mama always say it?"
Burt sputtered. He was both completely and not at all surprised. Elizabeth had always been a pretty little dainty thing. She always seemed prim and proper. But when she opened her mouth, out poured a litany of words that would make the son of a sailor and a trucker blush. But Burt had always figured she reigned in her language around their son. Apparently, he'd figured wrong.
"Well, Kurt," he finally said, "sometimes grown-ups have trouble remembering what the bad words are, and say them by accident."
"Oooohh…" Kurt nodded in understanding and finally went back to playing with his truck, and Burt sighed in relief and settled back into the couch to continue reading the sports section.
About an hour later, Elizabeth returned from her lunch outing with her friends. Kurt jumped up immediately to greet her at the front door, and Burt followed the energetic boy at a slower pace.
"Mama, mama!" Kurt called excitedly as Elizabeth opened the front door. "Guess what I learned!"
Liz smiled, "What did you learn, sugar cube?"
"We don't say fuck in our house," he announced proudly, and Burt very nearly started choking again. "It's a bad word."
"Well you just said it," Liz pointed out, giggling.
Kurt froze, then tears started welling in his eyes. "I'm sorry!"
"Hey, shh, shh," Liz soothed, hugging the little boy and petting down his light brown hair. "It's okay, sweetie. Don't cry. I'm not mad."
"B-but Daddy said it was a bad word!"
"It is, honey, but I know you're just learning not to say it." She stood back up and patted his head. "Now why don't you go get back to your playing – Daddy and I need to talk."
"Okay, mama!" the boy replied brightly, secure in the knowledge that he had not done wrong. He skipped back off to the living room to do as he was told.
Once he was gone, Burt raised his eyebrows at his wife, and Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't give me that look," she said – not in an angry tone, since this really wasn't something to have a big argument about, but more in an exasperated way. "You don't know where he learned that from. It could have been one of the guys at the shop. I know Leo has quite the mouth on him."
"If he learned that word from them, then why did he ask me why you always said that word?" Burt challenged. Elizabeth didn't reply. They continued their stare down, until Liz started chuckling, then laughing, then full-on cracking up.
"What is so funny about my little boy cussing?"
"Oh come on… Burt," Elizabeth said through bursts of laugher. "Lighten up…. You have to admit… it's really funny."
Burt thought back to the moment where Kurt had nonchalantly said the word... and really, it was sort of funny. Soon he was laughing right along with his wife, both shaking with uncontrollable laughter. They only stopped when they heard their son's exclamation from the living room.
"Ow! Damn it, you stupid truck!"
A/N: Not my best, but for something that was written spur-of-the-moment after hurriedly pausing my work-out on my elliptical, it's not terrible (I get most of my idea when exercising, mostly because I always listen to my iPod and daydream to try and ignore my burning lungs :P). Tomorrow I'm going to wake up sore and regret not cooling down and stretching again, but anyway... This is sort of based on my first cuss word, which I also learned from my mom.
ABOUT PROMPTS: Just put your prompt in you review, if you have any ideas. Include the character(s) you want, and the situation. I am willing to write the show's adults as children, too. You can even specify ages if you want, though in general I am not writing anyone over ten years old. I'll accept any pairings, too, but remember that they're little kids, so it's not like the pairings will be will be anything serious.
So, for example, a prompt could read, "7-year-old Blaine pushing 8-year-old Kurt on the swings."
I WILL NOT accept:
-Prompts featuring the actual actors of Glee or contestants from the Glee Project. Meaning I will happily write a story about Rory but I will not write about Damian and Cameron. I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable writing RPF.
-Prompts that include any form of pedophilia. That is just... no. Leave that for the angst meme on Livejournal. I wouldn't touch a pedophilic prompt with a ten-foot pole.
Prompts that violate these two general guidelines will be immediately turned down.
But other than those, please feel free to send me any prompts you'd like! I have plenty of ideas, but I could use some more :). (Plus I have a bad habit of using Kurt much too often, so if you don't this to end up being almost completely about him, I'd suggest you send in a prompt.)
