ϟ
all torn up
your gonna walk the floor
the very way i do, (the way i do)
your cheatin' heart — patsy cline.
- — The moment she slams the door closed, she bursts into tears and sits on the edge of her bed; heartbroken at catching him and her together.
She doesn't understand why she can't find a man willing to make an honest woman of her, nor can she figure out how the hell Mama was right again.
She sniffs, angrily wipes away the tears streaming down her cheeks; embarrassed to be crying over a man.
But she's not only crying over him. she's crying over the fact, no matter who she chooses they all end up hurting her.
She cries until there's no more tears to cry, her breathing becomes heavy and her chest feels tight. Needing something, anything to take the edge of the pain she feels inside; she goes over to the window and watches the snowflakes fall.
It does the job, it distracts her from the pain, (for a short while) and soon enough her breathing returns to normal and her chest loosens up.
She understands (and knows) that wallowing in self-pity is only going to make it worse but she kept help but feel betrayed. Truthfully, she could expect it from him but her maid? The person she trusted, that, in her eyes, made it worse and she couldn't help but think they'd planned it all along. (for two whole months).
She moves away from the window and decides to return to the Servants' Ball, she's not going to let them spoil the rest of her evening.
She stares at her reflection in the mirror, tidies herself up and returns downstairs.
She slips quietly into the room without anyone noticing she was gone and she's relieved. Then she watches as Matthew takes Mary by the hand, leads her over to an empty space and begins to dance with her.
She smiles sadly and hopes they realise how much they're supposed to be together. Otherwise, they'll spend a lifetime regretting they never took a chance and wondering what could have been.
/
the worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to. —unknown.
a/n: if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review.
i wasn't going to post this because it's rubbish compared to the fabulous stuff i've read. however, i thought if none of us plucked up the courage to post our stuff, we'd never be given any tips on how to improve so, here's my first attempt at a downton abbey fic. don't hate me too much!
