A/N: Previously delted. I liked this one, and so I decided to repost with but as a Camp RockxHannah Montana crossover, and changed it from Miley Cyrus to Miley Stewart. So it's legal now.
This is more a tragedy, so don't say I didn't warn you.
Immense thanks to StandUpToCancer for editing this. :)
Based on "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood.
Disclaimer: I dont own anything or anyone.
Our Last Goodbye
Oneshot
I stepped out of the gray car, looking around the parking lot. Like me, many were wearing all black, their faces showing loss and grief. I slowly began walking towards the church, trying to fight back the tears. There were paparazzi lined against the front doors, snapping pictures of the guests. I walked up the steps, and I heard my name being shouted various times, but all I could hear were the beats of my heart, pounding furiously against my chest.
I got inside of the church, and even though I was early, it was packed. I saw his family and bandmates at the front of the church, all mournful and sad, and I made my way to the front to sit with them. Pictures of him were hung up all over the church, pictures of him smiling, laughing, or concentrating on something.
I suddenly remembered the first time we met, without being Milo and without the fake sidburns. I was performing as Hannah Montana and he came backstage with his bandmates, Jason and Shane, for a visit. My publicist introduced me to them, because she'd worked with them, too, and I remember that as I shook his hand I had felt fireworks go off. The way his brown eyes gazed into my eyes made me fall for him, and for days and weeks after I couldn't get him out of my head. He was an addiction- I couldn't get enough of him or stop thinking about him.
A few days later, he came to another show, this time without Shane or Jason. He pulled me aside during a break, and told me that he thought I was beautiful and that he really liked me. I told him I felt the same, and we became boyfriend and girlfriend.
We went through a year and a half of up and downs. I told him my secret about being Hannah, because I trusted him completely with my heart. We had to hide our relationship from the public, and act like we didn't feel how we did for each other, because his band was just starting out, and they weren't supposed to have any "attachments". We had to deal with our crazy schedules- the tours, interviews, award shows, and photo shoots- and didn't have as much time for each other as we would've liked. The second summer we were together, he was going to Camp Rock to teach some classes and I was touring as Hannah. The calls became every once and a while, but we both shared undying love for each other. There was nothing I wouldn't do for that boy, and he felt the same for me. We weren't ever apart, and when we found out we would be touring together that winter, we were both ecstatic. We figured, a few months of being together nonstop would be bliss. We would become closer than we were before, and we were pretty much made for each other. I liked to picture our future. We would get married young, finish up our careers, have a few kids, and live together in peace and harmony.
A few months into the tour, we began fighting. We'd fought before, but those were silly, stupid fights - fights that would be resolved in the morning and forgotten in seconds. But this time, we would yell at each other, and not talk to each other for days. The stress of the demanding crowds and fans got to me at times, and I grew impatient. He would be quiet when I needed someone to tell me what to do, and we never seemed to have time for each other. We began drifting apart. Almost every night, it seemed like I would go back into my tour bus in tears again, hiding under my covers with my guitar, writing new songs.
It was the middle of December, and we were about to go onstage. We were in our familiar circle, getting pumped up and ready to perform. I was nervous, but had adrenaline pumping and couldn't wait to get onstage to see the screaming fans and to perform. Nick and his brothers emerged from stage, sweat beads above their brows. They grinned. "Great crowd tonight," Shane said to me, patting me on the back, then walked behind me to get a bottle of water. Jason followed, and Nate stood in front of me.
He pushed a brown curl from his eyes, and looked at me. "Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked quietly.
I nodded, and we walked to the side. "Listen, is this too much for us right now? Is this something that is really inconvenient at this time in your life?" I asked. I was so nervous to ask that question, and I was even more nervous for the response. I could tell in his eyes that this was necessary, even if it wasn't what we wanted.
"You know, this is really a hard time for me." His eyes looked down and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
"This is really hard for me too, you know- I think we need to take a little break," I said quietly. Tears began flooding my eyes as he nodded.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, then gave me a tight hug. I stood there for minutes, ignoring my mom's cries to get onstage, just holding Nick. He was breathing hard. Hot tears streamed down my face, and I didn't bother to wipe them away.
I went onstage that night, trying my best to fight back tears. I tried to maintain the same energy I had for the rest of the concerts, not wanting the audience to be disappointed in my performance.
Christmas came around, and I found myself in tears, wondering if this was honestly going to be better for me. I held Nick's present, staining it with tears, and wishing that he were by my side to exchange presents like we had the Christmas's before. That New Year's Eve, I performed with them. It was hard to not look at Nick, but I just focused on my singing and gave it all I got. The clock struck midnight, and I gave them all a hug, Nate last. I smelt the cologne he always wore, and it drove a stake through my heart. As I looked around at the crowd, I saw many couples kissing, and wished we were one of them.
Weeks later the tour ended, and then I continued on with Aly and AJ while the boys went on their own tour. When I finally came back to L.A., I mourned, and then tried to get over him and hang out with some other friends. None of them were quite the same as Nick, and I found myself missing him more and more.
It took a photo shoot and a huge controversy for me to realize how much my world was falling apart. I needed to get my act together soon. I was asked to perform at the Disney Channel games as Hannah, and during the plane ride to Florida I was debated on what to say to him. I got there and hung around a while, not wanting to go to the arena yet. I lost track of time, and it became time for my soundcheck. I got there as quickly as I could, but I was late, getting me glares from the workers and a warning from the producers. I finished my set quickly, and then rushed backstage so the next performer could rehearse. I found Nate, Jason, Shane, Selena, and Demi all backstage, laughing and having a good time, and felt a pang in my chest, wishing I were with them, laughing at Shane's crazy antics and all of the shared inside jokes.
Selena and Demi greeted me, even if it wasn't as friendly as I would've liked, but Nate sat there, staring at me. I left quickly to call Mandy as tears flowed down my face. She told me that I had to show him that I wasn't hurting anymore, even if I was, and I went on that stage that night with energy and enthusiasm, not letting any comments get to me. I wasn't sure what to expect from the audience after the photo shoot scandal, but a poster made by a fan in the back made it all worth it, and I knew there were still fans behind me.
I went back to California the next day, and received a call concerning a spread in Seventeen magazine. I took the opportunity, and revealed all about our relationship. Next thing I knew, it was the headline all over the internet and tabloid magazines. While some of my fans were supportive and felt bad, many turned against me. They said that Nick didn't deserve someone like me, and that hurt.
When I thought things couldn't get worse, they did. And it started with a certain picture with Kevin, the one who I thought would be the most unbiased person about this. He wore a shirt with 'Team Demi and Selena' written in gold. I thought that there wouldn't be any hard feelings between us after the breakup- I was wrong. They say a picture can say a thousand words, and that picture certainly did. There were so many times I wanted to call them and say, "Really? Is that how you feel about me? Is that really how much you hate me now? After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?" but I held back and tried to be the bigger person and not let it show they were getting to me.
The next months passed by slowly. Even though I met Justin, who was amazing and everything I wanted in a guy, it still felt like there was a hole in my heart. Nothing and no one could fill it but Nate, and he was over me and gone. I tried calling him, texting him, emailing him- everything- but he ignored them all. I sent their family an invitation to my sweet sixteen birthday party at Disneyland, and not once did I see his curly head of hair. Of course, like always, I played it off like I didn't care, even though it broke my heart.
I was sitting on my couch on a Saturday night, watching Bring It On with Mandy, when I got the call. I picked up, not recognizing the number. I immediately heard sobbing on the other line.
"Oh my God, who is this? Are you okay? Hello?" I asked into the phone. Mandy looked at me worriedly, wondering what was happening.
"Mi-mi-mil-mile-Miley?" the voice on the other line asked through their cries.
"Yes, this is she. Who is this?" I asked cautiously.
I heard a sniffle. "Miley, it's Selena." I breathed a sigh of relief; this was just a prank call or something. I'd thought something was wrong.
"Hey, Selena. What's up?"
I heard a shaky breath, then Selena's voice again. "Miley, it's Nate. He's gone."
My mouth dropped open, and I felt a tear hit my face. "What do you mean he's gone? He can't be gone! Selena? Please tell me this is just something you two cooked up. He is not gone. Like gone gone, missing in the woods, or gone⦠gone?"
I felt tears falling down my face, and Mandy looked on worriedly. Nate couldn't be gone, it wasn't possible. I still loved him. "Miley, listen. Trust me; this is hard for me too." Her breathing was uneven, and I could tell she was trying to be comforting. "I was sitting with him in his room when all the sudden he felt dizzy and fainted. We rushed him to the ER and they announced him dead. They're trying to figure out what happened this very second. I'm still at the hospital. But he's gone, Miley. I know you loved each other. I'm so sorry," she said quietly.
I fell to the ground, my phone dropping from my hand. I felt like my world was spinning around in circles, and I struggled to breathe. Nate, the one who had taught me so much, was gone. Forever.
Regardless of the songs I sang, of the things I said in any interviews, or of what anyone thought of me, I still loved him. I always would- that was a fact. It hurt me more than anything I'd ever felt before- loving someone, then loosing them forever. I would never forget him, no matter who came along.
This time, it wasn't like we broke up. He was gone, forever. I would never get the chance to say goodbye, or even tell him how much I cherished every second we spent together. How much it hurt me that he was with Selena, but that I was happy that he was happy. How much I wished we got back together, and that we were unbreakable. How much I truly did love him, regardless of what he thought.
As I sat down next to Denise, I turned my head and smiled weakly to his family. I rested my head in my hands, and my tears began pouring out. I thought I heard a priest, or maybe it was Kevin Sr., say a few words, but I couldn't tell. "Do you still want to sing?" I heard Denise ask me.
I nodded, then stood and wiped my tears. I slowly made my way to the front of the church, picking up my guitar. I looked at the people sitting in the pews, all with tears streaming down their faces. I saw Selena in the front row next to Shane and Jason, and I hadn't noticed her there before. She was crying relentlessly, and I could feel similar pain. Except I don't think she would ever feel the same way I did about him. "This one's for you, Nate," I said into the microphone, then began strumming my guitar.
Sha la la la la
Sha la la la la
You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms
I remembered the way he'd hold me tight when I was sad, happy, or even hyper. He was there through it all - everything. If I was disappointed about a performance, he'd tell me that I tried my best and I'd do better next time. If I was excited about a new song or dance number I had learned, he was the one who congratulated me first. He was the one person I had when I needed to be strong. He helped me through more than anyone could imagine.
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me
Not once did I ever feel harmed or threatened when I was with Nick. He was my protector, the one who would tell others to back off when they got too close. There was no need for a bodyguard while Nate was with me- he'd fight people off with his bare hands if it meant keeping me safe.
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
A hot tear escaped the corner of my eye. It began trailing down my cheek, leaving a black line from my makeup. I wouldn't have cared if my face looked horrible or ugly- I was there for Nate. It was about him, not me. He'd always been unselfish with me, and now it was my turn. I didn't feel like I had to be better than Selena like I had before, there was no competition anymore. Because there was no prize.
You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast
There were so many things I wished I could tell him. If he was back on Earth, I'd take him in my arms and kiss him, telling him how much I loved him. How much I wanted us to be together.
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
I looked to the front row, seeing Nate's family and close friends. Demi and Selena were grasping each other, holding each other tightly while they cried. Denise and Kevin Sr. sat with a blank expression, not knowing what to feel. I was sure, like me, they didn't even believe it was happening. Shane sat with tears rolling down his cheeks, something I wasn't used to. I was used to him making me laugh, and always being the joker, no matter how serious the situation, so seeing him vulnerable and hurt made my heart break even more. Frankie, his brother, and Jason sat, looking to their hands, and I knew they were both crying. I could tell in the tap of Jason's toes, a different beat than the song I was singing, that he was going to write a song as soon as he left.
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
The service finished quickly after, and Nate's casket was propped open. As I stood I line to see it, I let my tears flow. They poured down my cheeks, and my body was heaving immensely. It was hurting me so much that I was never going to feel his hand intertwine with mine again, or dance with him under the moonlight. I wasn't ever going to get to play music with him or go paintballing, like we'd always wanted to. Soon, I was next to see him. I walked up slowly, and peeked over.
His face was peaceful, and I knew he was in a better place. His face was pallid and pale, and his brown hair looked soft and the curls bouncy. The sight of him was comforting, and my tears stopped. I leaned over, my lips brushing against his ear. I opened my mouth, then whispered the three words that were the only words I knew to be true anymore: "I love you."
