Author's Note: HI. I'm back, after not writing for a long time. Why was I gone? Lack of motivation. What else? Oh yeah, homework. Writing the A/N at 3:58 AM so expect this to be odd. You can just skip to the story which I didn't write at 4am. You're still reading this? You get a cookie! No, no cookie, you get CAKE! Okay, I own Hetalia. But don't tell anybody, because I don't own Hetalia outside of my little world. Just one thing though: FUSOSOSOSOSO~ No Spain in this one, so I HAD to :D
Lolol I came back to finish this A/N at 3:45 Pm, and I realized what a lunatic I am when I'm cranky XDD Okay, I'm done with A/N.
Rated T in case of mild violence and language from a few characters. Really and honestly, I'm tempted to rate it K+
"Veee, when will my pasta be served?" The starving Italian prince had asked for the thirtieth time in 5 minutes.
"My holy prince Feliciano, if you'll just wait ten more minutes! Would you like an appetizer while you wait?" his loyal German butler Ludwig offered.
"Is it pasta? Or pizza?" Feliciano inquired curiously.
"No," Ludwig stated flatly.
"Awwww!"
While these two argued about pasta, the scientists of the land, Alfred, Arthur, and Ivan, one American, one British, and the other Russian, respectively, were concocting their latest schemes.
"I believe that we can take the moon for ourselves if we paint it completely green! And then we can—"
"No!" Arthur interrupted Alfred. "That idea is the most ridiculous thing my bloody ears have ever heard! How you manage to stay alive with that shitty logic, I'll never know!"
"Well excuse me; at least I'm not the one throwing away ideas before we even try them! Do you have anything better?" Alfred countered.
"Of course I do, you wanker! We can clone the idiot prince to make a completely loyal army! He's stupid enough to make it work!" Arthur suggested.
"Brilliant! I love your thinking, Art!" Alfred yelled while suffocating Arthur in his infamous bear hug.
"Get off of me!" Arthur gasped.
"You can always come and hug me," Ivan had offered to the energetic American.
"NO, you Commie Bastard!" Alfred readily refused. Ivan was immediately heartbroken from yet another case of being secluded.
The three lunatic scientists get to work on this radical idea, Ivan in charge of the planning, Arthur in charge of the actual cloning, and Alfred in charge of the material gathering.
"Vee, what do you want?" Feliciano inquired of the jumping Alfred.
"We have a new plan to expand your army: we'll make a bunch of versions of you! So can I have some hair?" The American nondescriptly stated. Had Arthur been with him, he'd have been scolded for his lack of preparation.
"Okay!" The prince agreed, surprisingly. Alfred proceeded to yank a hair strand out of Feliciano's scalp, to which Feli had blurted a thunderous yell.
"I'll see ya later, Prince Fel!" Alfred yelped, skipping off to the lab. Once he had reached the laboratory, Arthur scolded at him to be careful while Ivan welcomed him back.
They set off to work, and before long about three hundred thousand Italian clones were before their eyes.
"My God, Art, how did you do this? I expected ten, maybe twenty, at most, but three hundred thousand?" Alfred gaped.
"Well, Alfred, it's my magic," he grinned. In reality, he used the same process everybody uses for cloning, but in mass production and sped up. He extracted the DNA from Feliciano's hair strand with nanotechnology and implanted the DNA into an embryo. The change comes here, however: instead of implanting the embryo into a female animal's uterus, he had the embryo grow outside of the uterus in a cubicle, spraying the new creature with insulating growth formula every ten minutes. It's impossible to make three hundred thousand by hand, so he amplified the process by using robots to spray and implant. As for DNA extraction and replication, he sprayed growth formula on the DNA so that the replication process in the cells would speed up. The growth formula was confidential, unfortunately, so we cannot know for sure what it's made from.
"PASTAAAAAAAA!" The Italian army cried in unison. The scientists were caught off guard, giving a confused face to one another. Only then did they realize the atrocity they had committed: they made an army of willful idiots.
"Oh bloody shit, they need a leader that they'll listen to!" Arthur freaked out. He felt responsible for it, and in a way, he was the most responsible.
"I can lead them," Ivan generously offered.
"No!" Alfred and Arthur screeched together.
"Okay, if we need someone that can understand them, why don't we just take the prince's DNA and modify it so that he can be really smart? And we can change another gene of his so that we can distinguish him…" Alfred pondered.
"No, that's an abomina—wait, that's a great idea! Al, I didn't know you were capable of such thinking!" Arthur congratulated.
"What does that mean?" Alfred asked suspiciously.
"…Never mind. So, you can do that, America! You're slower than I am, but you generally yield better results. Ivan can help you if you want."
"Okay! Come on, Ivy!" Alfred shouted, as he skipped off to the lab yet again. Ivan followed promptly.
They took the original DNA and waited for it to replicate naturally. They decided to genetically engineer this super Feliciano by modifying the copy. Once the copy was obtained, Alfred mutated many genes responsible for intelligence, but he focused primarily on the X-chromosome, since that sequence has a dominant feature in intelligence. Because the DNA was coded for a male human, an extremely mutated X-chromosome that yielded toward a super-genius status would completely dominate the code! In Alfred's mind, it'd work perfectly…
After careful switching of bases, he'd finally created a super-genius that could understand the clones. All he needed was to warp some colors in order to distinguish him from the rest. He decided to give him pure auburn hair and green eyes, unlike the pale reddish brunette and hazel eyes that characterized the prince.
Alfred and Ivan had finalized the product, giving extra immunity to certain diseases, so they sprayed growth formula on it, and thus after a tormenting long thirty hours, the mutated clone was grown.
"He's perfect," Arthur praised. "Let's bring him to the prince so that he can be named!" The party agreed to this, and thus they scurried off to Prince Feliciano's room.
"What is it now?" Feliciano queried sleepily, not even bothering to open his eyes. "Can't you see it's really late?"
"Well, my lovely Prince Feliciano, we want to give you the honor of naming your 'brother.' I mean, only a prince would be fitting of the job!" Arthur stated.
Feliciano slowly dragged his eyelids open when he spotted a near twin of him. His eyes immediately flared open, and he looked the mutant all over. "Vee, he should be named Romano! After my noble capital of Rome!"
'Romano?' All the scientists thought in unison. Pretending that the Prince was in his right mind, they all flattered Feli, telling him how gorgeous the name was.
"Do you have any tomatoes?" Romano suddenly asked. This left the scientists stupefied. "Hey, did you fucking hear me? Do you have any tomatoes that I can eat?" he kept on demanding. Arthur immediately left in search of tomatoes, and when he came back, Romano snatched all twelve and hurled them at the scientists.
"You bloody wanker! How dare you throw tomatoes at me?" Arthur shouted.
"Just like this!" Romano responded, throwing yet another tomato at Arthur's face. Arthur had no choice but to shrug it off, as he remembered he was in the presence of Prince Feliciano.
"Brother, would you like to play?" Feliciano asked.
"Veneziano, of course I would!" Romano answered giddily.
"Veneziano?" Feli asked confusedly.
"Yes, because you're from Venice, you stupid bastard!" Romano laughed. "Hey, why don't we call Alfred America, Arthur England, and Ivan Russia?" He suggested.
"That's a great idea, brother!"
"Please, call me Romano, my dear Veneziano!"
"Va bene, Fratello!" Feliciano agreed. [Va bene, fratello: okay, Brother!]
"I just fucking said to call me Romano, you asshole!" The angry mutant was beginning to realize the limits of his donor's intelligence.
"Oh, mi dispiace, Romano!" Feliciano whimpered. [Oh, I'm sorry, Romano!]
"It's fine… Now, I'm off. Later," the feisty mutant called out as he headed out of the room. The scientists had stayed behind to discuss with the prince. Little did they know what monster they just created…
A/N: At this point, I'll let you think what you want. It's two chapters long, so part 2 will come Sunday. On Sunday, you'll witness the wrath of Italy Romano. I want to torture your minds 3:D Don't think I don't love ya all, though~ I'mma just say, I almost cried writing part 2. Sad, sad things happen *cough* somebody dies *cough* Well, I'm out~ R & R of course!
