Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to us, sadly.
"Order! This court is now in session." Puck stated in his most authoritative voice, banging the toy gavel Artie had stolen from his little cousin.
Finn looked around as he sat one table, Rachel beside him, while Kurt sat alone at the other in the auditorium, about to defend the fact that he liked to wear vests to Mercedes, Sam and Coach. Finn shook his head in amusement wondering why he had opened his big mouth and asked Kurt for advice on which vest to wear on his super secret surprise date he was going to take Rachel on in New York. Finn liked his vests, so does Rachel; which was why he wanted to wear it on the date. He just didn't know which vest went best with his blue/green button down. All Finn knew was if he won, he got to keep all of his vests, if he lost, Kurt was going to make a bonfire with them. Finn knew he really had to win this…
His mind drifted off, thinking back to what started this whole fiasco... the fact that he was planning on winning Rachel over again in New York. He had this epic, romantic date planned and before the group was to leave for New York, he was trying to pick out his nicest things to wear for the date. Finn liked wearing his vests. They're like a comfy blanket. Anyway, Finn had walked into Kurt's room with his navy blue vest and the black one, asking him which one he should wear with his shirt, nice jeans and black Nikes. Yeah, well after looking at Finn in horror like he was some three headed zombie dressed in clothes from Walmart, he proceeded to yank them out of Finn's hands and screamed at the poor boy that vests are never acceptable and he doesn't understand why he was always wearing them. "They are an atrocity to fashion," Finn didn't even know what atrocity means.
The arguement continued over dinner both brothers resumed arguing about it and that's when Carole and Burt took sides. Finn was shocked when his mother, the woman that gave him life, sided with Kurt! What the hell! Finn smirked though when Burt sided with him. Carole had said he needed to start dressing more grown up and for his date if he really wanted to impress Rachel. Burt had looked at Carole and asked what was wrong with vests. He wore his when he proposed to her. Finn's smile broadened when he realized Burt was making points on why vests were good. Anyway that started Carole and Burt in a friendly banter. All Finn wanted to do was to look nice for his date with Rachel. He didn't know he was going to start World War III over his vests.
2 days earlier…..
Kurt felt a thrill of pure pleasure run through him as he saw his order confirmation flash across the screen. After much searching, he'd discovered an online store that would be willing to ship him his favorite moisturizer straight from Europe. The fact that it cost 140 Euros, which meant it was almost 200 dollars US failed to worry him. He knew Carole paid the bills now; she'd understand the need for good moisturizer and wouldn't tell his dad.
He jumped as his door flew open, watching in annoyance through the mirror as Finn barged in holding something in his hands.
"Which one should I wear for my date with Rachel in New York?"
Kurt ran a hand along his perfectly sculptured hair as he turned around in his chair. "First of all, what have I told you about barging in here like a bull in a china shop? And secondly, please tell me those aren't what I think they are."
Finn looked down at his hands in confusion. "They're my two best vests. My black one and my blue one."
"You know I think of my bedroom as an homage to fashion. Those atrocities to fashion are not allowed to cross my threshold." Calmly, he walked over to Finn, grabbing the offending vests and walked over to his open window, throwing them out the window. "There."
"Dude, what the hell did you do that for?"
"That tree has just been made uglier by having that vest stuck in it's branches, but I assure you it's a necessary sacrifice. I cannot have a member of my family wearing those vests. People will think I approve of them." He shuddered at the thought.
"I've been wearing vests since I was a little kid. Everyone in my family wears vests!"
Kurt held up a hand to stop Finn's sputtering. "No Finn. I don't want to hear it. My Loyalty card at Neiman Marcus could get revoked if they even thought I approved of those vests." He placed a hand over his eyes, scared to imagine what they would do to his beloved card.
Just as Finn opened his mouth to respond, Carole's voice came floating up the stairs. "Boys! Dinner!"
Without another word, Kurt followed Finn downstairs, taking his usual spot at the dinner table across from Finn. Burt came in and sat down, his usual baseball cap on his head, making Kurt sigh at the sight of it. No matter how many times Kurt had tried to introduce his father to the wonders of a fedora, his father still insisted on using that god awful baseball cap.
"So boys, how was-" Burt began, but paused as something caught his eye out the window. "What is that? Is that animal?"
Finn, Kurt and Carole all turned to stare out the window across from Burt and behind Carole. Sure enough, something was hanging from the tree. Kurt burst out laughing as he realized what it was.
"That's not an animal! That's Finn's horrible puffy vest. He actually tried to bring them in my room, and I threw them out the window."
"Yeah, he said they were atrocities and no one in his family should wear vests. I love my vests," Finn mumbled, looking like a pouting little boy.
"Finn. Rachel dresses even worse than you, which I didn't think was possible. YOU need to be the fashion leader of the two of you, especially if you're going to do this in New York. I've been planning my New York wardrobe for weeks. I've had a flow chart elimination bracket going for about a month."
"Is that what you used my March Madness bracket for?" Burt asked curiously.
"I have no idea what March Madness is, but yes, that bracket worked perfectly for my choices. I'm down to my final four contenders for the flight there," Kurt announced proudly.
"Dude, it's just clothes. Rachel will be more into what we do on the date than what I'm wearing."
"Finn. This is Rachel Berry. She's going to want the epic reunion. A puffy vest won't cut it. Carole knows what I'm talking about, right Carole?" Kurt demanded.
"Finny, I think maybe Kurt's right. Why don't you wear the suit you wore for the wedding?" Carole asked.
"Mom, my vests are like my good luck charms. Good things generally happen when I wear them. Except when I officially broke up with Rachel, and when I walked down the hallway at school in my underwear for Rocky Horror, but I only got a warning and not the full month of suspension, so that's lucky." Finn realized he committed word vomit when his mom gave him a quizzical look.
"No Finn, just no. You look like Marty McFly when you wear them. Are you planning on picking Rachel up in a Delorian?" Kurt asked sarcastically.
"Marty McFly is like totally awesome because he got to travel around in time. I like Back to the Future too. He's like an icon or something."
"Now wait a minute, what's wrong with the vest in the tree?" Burt interjected, glancing out the window. "I wore a vest when I proposed to Carole."
"Yes, and while it was lovely, I was all dressed up and you have on a vest in the picture. It makes for a funny picture," Carole explained. That picture had always annoyed her. She and Kurt had gone shopping for a dress, and he'd done her makeup and hair, but Burt had worn his usual outfit. They looked mismatched. "Finn, I really think you should wear a suit. Have you grown more? Maybe you should try it on."
"Oh, maybe we can go shopping for a new suit. He'd look good in a deep charcoal grey, don't you think?" Kurt mused, taking in Finn's skin tone.
"I don't know, maybe navy blue or black pinstripe would be better," Carole mused. "Why don't we go shopping for both Burt and Finn tomorrow?"
"What?" Burt cried, aghast at having to spend the day shopping. This was partly why he gave Kurt the ok to online shop. Kurt was happy, and he didn't have to waste a whole day being dragged from store to store while Kurt tried on half the inventory.
"Dude, I like my vests and so does Rachel. You're the only one who hates them. I bet if you asked everyone in Glee, they'd agree with me," Finn added, confident in this fact.
Kurt pursed his lips in thought. "Fine that's what we'll do. Prepare your defense. The trial will be in two days during Glee. Jury selection shall commence after dinner."
"Huh?" Finn asked, his eyebrows going up in confusion
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Prepare you defense, meaning you need to convince everyone that puffy vests really are awesome." He ignored Burt's snorts of laughter and Carole's amused looks. "You better bring it Finn, because by the time I'm done with you, Congress with be prepared to pass the 28th Amendment banning puffy vests."
"The government had nothing to do with my vests. But you're putting my vests on trial? Isn't that a little harsh?" Finn asked, starting to worry.
"Where are you going to get this jury from?" Carole asked, not bothering to hide her laughter now.
"We each get to pick one person and we'll need an impartial third person," Kurt decided. "And it can't be Mr. Schue; given that his vest addiction is just as bad as your addiction to puffy vests."
"Fine, but I think Mr. Schue would be awesome. How about the Bieste? She's good and im…impart…she doesn't take sides. But what are the stakes? Obviously no one is going to jail so what does the winner get?"
"If I win – and I will – I get to burn all off your puffy vests, because it would be too cruel to donate them to the poor. And on the slim chance you win, you can wear the puffy vest in New York, but are not allowed to stand near me or tell anyone that I know you. Deal?"
"Deal." Finn said with less enthusiasm than Kurt.
Burt and Carole howled with laughter as the brothers shook on it across the table.
Finn came out of his musings as he felt Rachel poke him sharply in the ribs. "Pay attention. It's almost time for our opening statement!" she hissed.
Finn groaned as he saw Rachel pull out a stack of prepared index cards. He snuck a glance at the opposite table to see Kurt pulling out a thick binder, along with a pointer, which he placed on the table in front of him. Kurt was really going all out.
What had he gotten himself into?
A/N from SciFiMom2000: This started because Mida212 and I tweet during Glee episodes. Mida212 hates Finn's puffy vests, but I don't mind them, so that is how this story was born. A love/hate relationship of puffy vests. We hope you enjoy this story, and let us know if you love or hate Finn's puffy vests.
A/N from Mida212: Poor Cory really does look like a tall version of Marty McFly with all those vests, especially when they put him in the maroon one. I will admit that I don't mind the blue one but that green and brown one is just awful.
