Chapter One

Kate stood in the centre of her living room, her mind spinning, her heart racing, she'd never been this nervous, not even when she started at the academy, what was wrong with her? She wanted this, she really did, but making her body move, making herself leave her apartment was proving to be very difficult. She was ready an hour early, why did she do this to herself, she'd given herself time to think, to decide how this was going to happen, but that was the worst thing she could have done. She still had to drives to Rick, he'd told her to meet him and then he'd take it from there, she just presumed it would be his car service that they'd be taking. But the more she thought about what would happen that night, the more she felt the urge to run, lock herself in her apartment and wait the night out. She jumped at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She looked down at her phone for the caller ID, noticing it was Rick.

"Hey" Kate answered, her voice steady

"Hey, erm, about tonight, you think you'd be okay come to mine like an hour early?" Rick questioned, he sounded nervous

"Erm, sure, so you want me to be at yours in what, 20 minutes?" Kate replied

"If that's okay?" Rick told her

"No problem" Kate answered "See you in 20"

"Bye" Rick answered as Kate hung up the phone, to double check that she was actually fully ready.

Kate decided that now was the time to move, she had to pull herself together, stop over thinking everything and just do it. She wanted this, so much; she just didn't know how he was going to react to everything. How he would react to her lying to him, she hadn't wanted to hurt him; she just didn't want to face what this would mean. Her hair and make-up was done, she just needed to change out of her sweats and into the dress she had bought the previous weekend. Everything was ready. She ran into her bedroom, quickly undressing and heading for the dress hung neatly over the back of her chair.

She removed the dress from the plastic bag that it was currently in, revealing the strapless midnight blue dress. She'd loved this dress the first time she'd seen it, and couldn't resist buying it for tonight. The dress was fairly plain, but hugged her figure perfectly. The front of the dress was covered in midnight blue flowers that trailed from the top left hand corner right down the top of the slit on her right thigh. The dress was the perfect floor length design, hugging her in all the right places, revealing her long legs, something she knew Rick would love. Almost her entire right thigh exposed, hiding enough of herself to keep her dignity. She studied herself in the mirror, she couldn't think of a better dress to be wearing than this one. Her curls cascading loosely over her shoulders, framing her face, her brown eyes emphasised by the smoky eye shadow surrounding them. All she needed now was her shoes, where had she put them? She scanned around her room, hoping to find them, but they weren't with the rest of her heels, so she ran into the living room, checking the clock, five minutes down, and she still had to get to Ricks.

Her shoes were resting next to her couch; she must have got them out earlier. She slipped into the gold heels, letting her feet feel the comfort of normality, they weren't as high as her usual heels, but they were all she needed, plus the style sold them to her instantly. The front of the shoes contained an open toe bottom, with a gold bow on the arch above, holding her foot in place. They were so simple yet elegant, and she had to ruin them by driving in them, this was going to be fun. She hurriedly locked up her apartment and jumped on the present elevator. Perfect timing.

By the time she'd reached the lobby, she'd decided that she had enough time to hail a cab, rather than drive to Ricks, wouldn't have to worry about parking her car somewhere and getting it home in the morning. Kate was always lucky with cabs they seemed to pull up at her beckon call, something Rick envied her for. She quickly jumped into the cab and gave the driver the address of Rick's apartment building. She pulled her cardigan tightly around herself as she saw the cab driver looking into his rear-view mirror at her. Even though her gun was in her purse, she still didn't like the way he was looking at her.

She rested head against the back of the seat, trying to steady her breathing, trying to compose herself for what she was about to face. Does she tell him before or after the benefit? God, before would ruin the whole night if things went south, but after could be too late and would probably end up being in the back of his car, which she didn't want, she wanted it to just be the two of them, to talk alone, no interruptions like they usually got. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the cab driver speaking.

"Where here miss" The driver spoke

"Erm, thanks" Kate told him as she handed him the money and climbed out of the cab.

She took a deep breath; she heard the cab pull away as she stood in the same place. She looked up at Rick's building, the lights were on in his apartment, but she didn't know whether he was home alone or if Alexis and Martha were home. She started to panic, she wanted to run, so much, but she wanted him more, them more, she had to do this, she had to go into that building, go see Rick.

She took a small step towards his building, her heart racing as she stared at the entrance. She could do this, one step at a time, isn't that what they've been doing since the day she was shot. Slowly getting what they wanted; them. She picked up the pace and quickly entered the building, heading straight for the elevator like a bullet; she was ready for this, ready for whatever the result was they'd still be friends no matter what, right? She pressed the button to Rick's floor, her heart still racing, not slowing for anything, no matter how much she tried to breathe and keep herself calm. She leant against the railing in the elevator, leaning her head against the mirrored wall. She stood, thinking, why was she thinking? Why was she doing that to herself? The ping of the elevator arriving on Rick's floor made her jilt her head up, composing herself one last time before stepping off and heading for his door. She'd straightened herself up and heading for his apartment, a smile spreading across her face.

Rick was sat in the living room, his tux on ready for the benefit, it wasn't the first one he'd taken Kate to, she'd been to previous events with Rick, including the wedding of his friend, this wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but he felt so nervous and he was sure that he sounded nervous when talking to her on the phone twenty minutes earlier. The knock on the door made him jump a little, until he realised that it was only Kate. What was he saying, was only Kate, it could never just be Kate, the woman was too extraordinary for that. He jumped off of the couch, straightening his tux as he headed towards the door. He swung it open, to be confronted by a gorgeous Kate, stood looking up at him smiling. Yes, she was looking up at him, he couldn't believe it.

"Hey" Kate said, noticing that Rick hadn't said anything to her, but was continuously looking her up and down, finally locking his eyes with hers.

"Hey" Rick replied, keeping his eyes focused on her, his smile growing wider, Rick reached out and grabbed Kate's hand before speaking again "Sorry, come in."

"Thanks Rick" Kate told him as she stepped over the threshold, there was no going back now, she was already there "Where's Martha and Alexis?"

"Alexis is at her friend's sleepover tonight, apparently they needed to have a girls night, and it was here last time, so I put my foot down." Rick smiled at Kate, his hand still held in hers before continuing "Mother is, well, mother is out I believe, she says she doesn't know what time I should expect her back, but I'm guessing it won't be until the morning, as always"

Kate let out a small laugh as she allowed Rick to take her jacket, instantly missing the touch of his hand in hers. She knew this was going to be a tough night for both of them, but they'd get through it, wouldn't they? Rick was looking at her again, he wasn't as close now, but he was still locking his eyes on her, and as soon as she tilted her head up to look into those deep blue eyes, she wanted nothing more than to get this over with and get them to the next stage of their relationship. But he'd sounded nervous when he'd phoned, and now he looked it. She then realised that she was an hour early, what had he wanted to talk about, they usually just arrived then headed straight out to the benefit.

"Rick" Kate spoke softly, her eyes still focused on his "Can we go sit down please?"

"Sure, is everything okay? Are you okay?" Rick stammered out as he continued to look at her, not moving from his position.

"Yeah, just rather not stand in your door way and I kind of want to run something by you if it's okay?" Kate tried to make it sound less like they were going to have the talk about them, she didn't want to make him more nervous than he already seemed

"Okay, yeah" Rick responded by grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her into his living room, he was shocked that she hadn't resisted, but had tightened the grip on his hand and followed him willingly into the living room.

Kate sat down on the couch once Rick had released his grasp on her before he'd headed off into the kitchen for some wine, although she didn't want alcohol in her system for this. She didn't want him to think that it was the alcohol talking and that she didn't really mean what she was saying to him. She took a deep breath calming her for his return. Which was rather quick considering; he arrived swiftly with two glasses of red wine placing one in Kate's hand before taking a seat on the couch next to her.

"Thanks" She muttered before leaning to place the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch. She rested back on the sofa, angling herself towards Rick, making sure he could her face when she spoke.

He must have noticed that she wanted to talk; at her sudden movement he copied her actions, quickly placing his glass down next to hers before turning to face her. She looked just as nervous has him, what did she have to be nervous about, she wasn't the one that was going to tell the women he loved the biggest secret he has ever kept from her, possibly ruining things for the future.


Hi, hope you all like my new story. I know this chapter is quite long, but I hope you are left wanting more. I just thought I'd go with this one and see what happens, I've no idea how long I'm going to keep going with this story or how to actually end it.
But, I hope you like it, so please review.

Amy