Hazing

Ducky's perusal of his latest issue of Medical and Forensic Medicine was rudely interrupted as Ellie Bishop slammed the coffee pot onto the counter and snatched up her coffee mug. He could see her agitation from across the break room and sighed inwardly.

"Ellie, my dear," he waved her towards the seat at his table. "Come and tell me what has got you so upset."

Bishop tilted her head at him and then sighed as she came to sit down. "It's this hazing thing, Ducky. Last week I had to hang upside down by my ankles to collect evidence. This week, McGee made me collect every feather from a burst pillow at our crime scene – it took me nearly a whole hour." She sighed, wiping a hand over her face in frustration. "I know I've only been here a month but when is this horrible hazing thing ever going to stop?"

Ducky chuckled. "Honestly, my dear, the question is when will the hazing actually begin for you?"

Bishop blinked at him questioningly.

"I know that Timothy is too much of a gentleman to let things go too far for you but once Tony gets passed the fact that you are female, I'm sure that the hazing will truly kick in."

Bishop stared at him in horror with her coffee mug parked half way to her mouth. "It hasn't … You mean to tell me it's going to get worse?"

Ducky chuckled. "I remember having a similar conversation with young Timothy McGee at the end of his first month at NCIS. Nasty case involving the mafia, a dead undercover FBI agent and a demolition zone. The day had started with an exercise routine during which Agent Caitlin Todd tossed McGee around the room as part of her wrestling training routine. Timothy had never wrestled with a female before and his gentlemanly instincts were much too strong. However, when he finally got the upper hand she kicked young Timothy in the … err … family jewels … so to speak - right in front of everybody. He was folded in half for a good while. I recall that I needed to give Timothy some pain medication before the day was out. I nearly sent him to the hospital, to check for permanent damage."

Bishop winced. "Sounds painful."

"Oh that was nothing. As they arrived at the crime scene Agent DiNozzo chose to drive unnecessarily fast over very rough terrain with young Timothy thrown around in the back of the van. He had black and blue bruising that would have made a professional boxer wince. Nevertheless he was made to do his work in the demolition zone after being told by his team mates that another probie had died walking the safe zone in a similar case. "

"They made him walk into a demolition zone?"

"Of course they did – while they walked thirty steps behind him – just in case you know. Abby later made McGee pass on bad news to Gibbs and Tony belittled McGee constantly for the rest of the day before taking credit for the work McGee had done."

"All in one day?"

Ducky nodded, before picking up his coffee. "So, really my dear. I wouldn't be too upset. The hazing hasn't even begun yet."

He smiled at her as she chewed worriedly at her lip. "You do have an advantage over young Timothy, my dear."

"What? Because I'm female?"

"Well, yes," said Ducky. "But you also grew up with older brothers, my dear. You know exactly how to defend yourself."