What Should Be,
Written by Loonynamelass (fanfiction. net/ u/ 1992324)
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling, though a philanthropist in her own right, had nothing to do with the production of the following story beyond inventing the characters and series that has inspired this enormous fandom. Therefore, this isn't her. Sorry.
Leafing through newspapers as was her custom, Hermione frowned.
Ron, who had recently developed a hyper-sensitivity towards Hermione's moods in her pregnant months, leapt up to the occasion. "Anything off?" he said as delicately as possible, then reevaluated . "What's the Prophet say?"
"It isn't the Prophet," she growled, temper flaring up irrationally, "So typical of wizards, to think that it has to be their newspaper, because no one cares about stupid, rolling in the dirt muggles!"
"I care," Ron reassured her. He could still recall that 12 Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches specifically stated that appeasing in-laws was very important and acted accordingly.
The fire in her eyes took on a new glint, and she threw the paper on the table in triumph. "Yes! That's it! You and I, we can fix it! Oh, thank you, Ron!" She threw her arms around his neck and started peppering his face with kisses. Hm, Ron pondered. Why does this remind me of house elves and the Battle of Hogwarts?
They retired to bed not long after, and with few words.
~?~
Eight hours later, Ron kissed his wife's forehead. "I love you," he murmured sleepily, and then lowered his lips to her tummy. "Ah blub boo boo."
"So I'm comparative to a fetus in your affections?"
"Erm… Yeah, why not? It's not any fetus, it's our fetus," he said, as it was too early to think of a better response.
"Our two germ cells combining to form a zygote," she replied with a smile on her face; and that was enough for Ron. She then slowly rolled out of bed and proclaimed, still with that deceptively sweet smile, "Time to get to work!"
"Erm…" It was one of those days, Ron sighed. "Hermione, it's Saturday. We can stay in today."
"But don't you remember? We're going to go change the world and improve the lives of those poor muggles once and for all!"
Did we have firewhiskey last night? No, that can't be it; she's pregnant… Uh… "Right now? You're pregnant, you shouldn't be doing any heavy…" he didn't quite know what would fall into the category of what Hermione was expecting him to know that they were doing, so he let it trail there in hopes that he got her meaning.
"Traveling? Yeah, that is a bit of an obstacle. Can't apparate pregnant, can't floo- the fumes are dangerous for her, and walking is annoying… Say, does your dad still have that Ford Anglia?"
"Hermione Granger, suggesting we break rules?"
"Oh, ha, ha. You know your dad wrote a loophole in that rule…"
This has gone long enough, Ron supposed. "Hermione, here's the thing… We can't just go off on wild adventures to save the world! I don't even know the plan!"
To his alarm, she burst into tears. "Oh, Ron, I know, I'm being rash, but every second some newborn is dying of starvation or AIDS in a third-world country and wizards can stop it and I don't want to wait! It's so irrational, but these stupid hormones and I keep thinking how lucky our baby is to be born here, and what if our baby was born somewhere else, in Muggle-land, where there's abuse and polluted air and…" Having confirmed that it was not by any fault of his own, he put his arm around her and said soothing words until she quieted from her burst. As soon as the emotional breakdown was done with, she started talking strategy with Ron, who had a subtle appreciation for such due to his chess hobby.
"Wait- what are our objectives here? We can't just go and save all the muggles' problems at once!"
"But how can we prioritize between oil spills and terrorism?"
"Come on, stay with me here. This is your territory- a'right? So- what's something we can solve easily, something that we have a direct method to do simply- even if it's just a temporary measure…"
"We can clean the air!"
Ron sniffed a bit in response.
"No, Ron, the air that muggles breathe is horrid and dark, especially in big cities. Our air is purified, and it only takes a few cleaning spells… Imagine! The difference it could make!"
"'Kay…" he said, jotting down #1: Clean Air.
"Oh, oh, and- how about transportation? Portkeys and apparition are such convenient, hassle-free modes! Muggles have to use cars and buses and airplanes, and those all eject that air-dirtying stuff…"
~?~
"'Mione," Ron said after #487: Increasing Quantity of Food for the Malnourished (the exception to the first exception of Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration). "All of these are such huge changes… So how are we going to keep the International Statute of Secrecy up and running if the Muggles just suddenly have a mysterious amount of food, cleaned air, transportation methods, super-effective jails and detective systems, unorthodox medical revelations…"
"Hm… Yes, that is a snag… We could blame it on some Muggle god, like Aphrodite?"
"Isn't that a minor one?"
Hermione was impressed at Ron's awareness of Greek mythology. "Yeah, but it's the goddess of love… wouldn't that be ironic?" For a moment, they thought of the Department of Mysteries, the dead Dark Lord, and Dumbledore's wisdom…
"Yeah… wait, Hermione, listen," he said again, bolstered that he'd already made a useful contribution to the conversation. "All these muggle issues- the muggles started them, right? So if… Aphrodite, or whatever, grants them a solution to everything they've screwed up… will they even learn anything? Won't they just keep going on with their self-deteriorating habits? …And plus, wizards are as flawed as the rest of them! We still have wars, corruption, diet disorders… Our systems are far from perfect! What if we transfer the bad? What if, when we're teaching Scourgify, they learn Crucio or Imperio?"
There was a silence as Hermione digested this unwelcome wisdom. "Correct three times in a day! We should call over Harry for this momentous occasion," Hermione teased, before her face dissolved into a somber note once again. "Oh well… so much for those plans…"
"Right," Ron said weakly, glancing over his seventeen page list. "Well, that was a swell way to spend the morning and afternoon…"
"Sorry, baby," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I'll make it up to you. Let's do something fun for the evening…"
"Something yummy," he said mischievously. "Ooh, Hermione, I know, let's cook a meal worthy of Mum!" Alright, thought Hermione, and as she began to lay out the pans and knives, considered ways to convince the Muggles to fix themselves…
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