Mudgie's Revenge

By

Mrsrossino4

Summary: Mudgie heard everything that prissy feline said last night, so now it's time to show that cat who's the smarter one!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, sadly enough.

So, dear readers, you've heard what that prissy ass cat had to say. It's time you heard the CORRECT version of events. Cats may be conniving, but dogs are not called man's best friend without reason. My name is Mudgie Rossi, and it's time for me to take back my house. That's right…it's my house, and if you don't like it, get the hell out cat!

If I had to say my master Dave had any faults, it would be his weakness for human females. I lost count at how many have been in this house. They come and go with regularity, but I, the faithful companion, always remain to comfort Dave. He and I are pals; always have been. Then one day Dave brought Morgan home with that stuck-up ball of fuzz.

First of all, let me tell you, dear readers I have never been nor will I ever be afraid of the priss bitch. I simply know how to pick my battles. She thinks just because she's small enough to fit in Morgan's purse she's more useful than me? I'd like to see her swim in the river to retrieve ducks for Dave! I'd also like to see her detain and attack anyone who DARES to harm those I've sworn to protect!

The new humans are home and Dave has not been getting any sleep. Salem prances around meowing like she's helping, but I can tell Dave really wants to punt her like a football. At least I know how to stay out of the way! That cat is such an attention whore.

Then I have a brilliant idea. I see Dave walk out of the kitchen without grabbing the bottles off the counter. I know the stuff in the bottles is something the fuzz ball likes to drink, so I wait for her to walk by the kitchen. I jump up to the counter and spill the bottles on the floor, allowing the white stuff in the bottles to make a huge puddle.

As I predicted, priss ass comes sneaking in and sees the white stuff on the floor. She begins to lick it up when I come walking in. Oh, how I wish I could operate a camera! The look on her face when she realized I set her up was priceless! Then, the unthinkable happened.

Dave and Morgan walked into the kitchen and saw the bottles on the floor. Neither of them were sure who was responsible for the mess, so Dave put us BOTH in the garage! Why should I be locked in here with this damn cat? She was the one drinking the spilled white stuff! I guess I let my gloating get the best of me.

Now I am lying on the cold concrete floor watching Salem crying furtively at the locked door. Does she really think that crying will get her back inside? Morgan has the new humans to play with. The cat needs to accept she has been replaced.

Was the trip to the garage worth my plan?

Indeed, it was!