Abi Branning will never fall in love. That's what i told myelf as i sat on the staires listening to yet another row from my parents. I was only 11 and did not understand how incredibly passionate and mind blowing love could be. I told myself that i would not fall in love, promised it to myself because i didn't want to end up like my parents. Arguing, at eachothers throats and breaking up all the time. This to me was love, this is what i thought love was and i didn't want to be a part of it.
As i listened to the venom spewing from my mother and fathers mouths, i knew that i would not need a man to make me happy, instead i would live with my animals. My guinea pigs, hamsters and maybe a dog.
I didn't know the meaning of love, not at 11. The meaning of love to me was my parents arguing and I didn't want that for myself. I swore never to let a mans charms sweep me off my feet. I'm not cinderella.
And then a few months later i met him. Of course i had already known this bulshy red head as he lived in the square but i had never spoken to him before. I was only trying to be friendly and comfort him about his dad but then he insulted me. He called me a moron and walked away. I didn't realize then that this boy was to be something more to me somday.
He became my whole world at just 14. That red headed, fiesty, adopted, 14 year old who called me a moron when i was trying to help him became my everything when he was 16.
Love. Love is what i used to identify my family. I loved my family, i knew my dad loved my mum and mum loved him in her own weak way. Me and Jay we have our arguments and break ups like my parents, we were often described as the young Tanya and Max of walford. In other peoples eyes, yes we appear like my parents but we have something my parents never had. Forgiveness.
We had the ability to look past eachothers mistakes and realize that we belong together. Jays kiss with Kitty made us stronger in a way. I had to look deep down in my soul to truly forgive him. He was begging me to forgive him and when he admited that we will have our problems thats when i had to truly look. I'm not my mother, my mother never had the courage to listen to her fathers excuses, my mother wouldn't of accepted them even if she knew his excuses. She would take him back eventually and just before his feet are under the table, he has done another thing to tear them apart.
Forgiving him would make me like my mum, i knew it would but forgiving and forgetting was a whole different story. I would be doing something my mother could never acheive and that was forgetting. To make a relationship work you need to forget your past mistakes, forget your stubburness to not let him back in and forget his past relationships. Build a common ground.
I forgave him today and erased the memory of him and kitty from my brain. We needed eachother more than anything. Our relationship can survive through even the darkest of times. Thats love, true love. Anyone can forgive there partenr for the mistakes he/shes down but not alot of people can forget them.
"Abi"
We were lying in bed, in his bed back at the b&b after finding out about him and kitty today. I turned my head to look at him, he had his arm wrapped around me. "Yeah"
"What are you thinking about"
"Us" I sighed as i snuggled into his chest. Jay looked alarmed at this as he looked down at me.
"Abs, you know i'm sorry about the whole kitty thing, i really am"
I lifted my head up and placed my finger over his lips to silence him. "I forgive you. I have already forgotten all about it"
"Really"
"Really, its going to take alot more than that to destroy us. I love you"
Jay reached out and pulled a strand of hair out of her face and puts it behind her ear. "I love you too branningflakes"
"You havn't called me that in a long time" I reminded him with a blush creeping up to my cheeks.
"Well maybe it's about time i started" Jay leaned forward and kissed me. Full of Passion and Love. My hands going around his neck as i kiss him back. This is Love. My parents killed the meaning of love a long time ago and i think i have brought the meaning back to where it belongs.
