Friend is a Four Letter Word

"…to me, coming from you, friend is a four letter word…"

The pace of his heartbeat did nothing to ease the pain at all. As hard as he tried, no amount of his magic would destroy the pain. Even in death, he would feel this ache. The years of confidence building he needed just to approach her could not be returned to him. The millions of daydreams, hundreds of journal entries and undelivered love notes, the endless nights lying in bed counting the different ways to tell her, none of this mattered anymore. Not even the most powerful white mage on Gaia could heal his aching heart, especially since she was the one who damaged it to begin with.


"Hey Vivi!" Eiko smiled and hugged her old friend warmly, "It's so nice to see you!"

Vivi smiled, "Yeah, it has, hasn't –"

"Sit down! Let's catch up! Oh, are those for me?" The ever excited teenager referred to the flowers in his hand.

"Y-yes, of course… they're, um, daisies… cause' I knew they're your favorite an' all."

"Awe Vivi!" She snatched them with a spin, "That's so sweet of you!" She took a long sniff of the flowers before sticking them in a nearby water glass, "I'll just put 'em there til I get a vase." She spun back to Vivi, skirts and hair spinning all around her, "So, how's it going in the village?"

"ah-um… good?"

She raised an eyebrow, pulling out a chair for herself, "You don't sound so sure about that…"

"ah… well, you know, same ol' stuff…" He nervously adjusted his hat.

She crossed her legs and rested her chin into her palm staring out of nearby window, "riiiight, well things here are pretty boring too…" she turned back to him and stuck out her tongue with a wink, "but thanks to years of watching Zidane, I've mastered the art of turning boring into fun!"


His breathing staggered and he desperately clawed at his chest, as if he could claw through the layers of skin, organ, and blood to pull out his heart… it would be exceedingly less painful than the pain he was already in. How could he have been so stupid? Of course she wasn't interested in him! She only liked strong, charismatic, handsome men… he wasn't any of those things. His head shot up to the mirror. Could he blame her? His face wore no expression, and his clothes were ragged and worn. He suddenly felt less human than ever.


Eiko continued her story, facing the window again, "…and then one time while father-"

"Uh…erm… Eiko?" Vivi forced the words from his mouth.

Her face, now showing slight frustration, turned to him, "yeeeeess?"

"…I, uh, heard Cid was starting to look for a suitor for you." he forced again, as he had practiced several times in his trek to the grand castle.

Her eyes drifted to the ground, "Yeah…" She kicked at the ground, "it's so dumb! I mean, Dagger got lucky…" She suddenly looked back to Vivi. Her expression was a mixture of sadness, anger, and jealousy, "I mean! Look at her! She gets to spend eternity with a guy she loves, Vivi! An' I get stuck with some pompous, arrogant, rich creep that my father preselects for me!"

"You, uh, don't get choice?" Vivi said with sadness in his tone.

She blinked, "Well, I mean, he's not gonna force me to marry anyone I don't wanna marry. It's more like a suggestion…" She drifted back to the window, "...but still, he'd like if I marry someone he approves of."

The room fell silent and Vivi pondered his next move. He shook his head, this was his only chance, "Eiko?"

"hm?" She turned back.

"D-do you think… we could ever try to … you know…"

She knew where this conversation was headed, but she only continued to stare at him hoping it would make a last second turn to another subject.

"…um…" He stopped and looked directly at her, "Eiko, would you ever consider giving me a chance… romantically?"

His clumsy words troubled her, how could she say no to that? How could she hurt him? She took a deep breath, "Vivi… I… I just don't feel that way about you. You're like a... like a brother to me. It would be too hard to think of you as anything more than a friend, and dating you may potentially hurt you more in the end. I couldn't live with myself if I ever had to be the one to break your heart… It would just best if we just stayed friends"

The world between the two teenagers stood still and on Vivi's side it began to slowly crumble. His heart started to beat faster, and his brain, even as it slowly turned to mush, yelled 'run! Just run far, far away from this!' He gripped the chair under him keeping his brain from gaining any control over his legs. He sighed, "Yeah, yeah you're right…" he nervously laughed, "what was I thinking, right?"

His attempt to fool her failed as she sensed the sadness in his voice, "Vivi, you don't hate me do you?"

He nervously laughed again, "of... of course not. I, uh, I should get going…"

"Vivi…" She sighed as the door shut behind him.


He wondered if his heart would explode, as his head hit the wall behind him. He slowly sank to the ground and hugged his knees to his chest. The darkness that shrouded his face hid the tears from everyone else, but the emotion he showed was the only thing that made him feel human anymore, the only thing that made him feel alive anymore.

"…end is the only part of the word that I heard…"


a/n: She can write sad too? Well, yes, yes I can.. Anyways, this fic was inspired by a song called "Friend is a Four Letter Word" by a fantastic and awesome band known as: Cake. Go listen to it , I'm very seldomly inspired to write song fics, and though I really can't consider this one… it's about as close as I'll ever get to one. Please leave a review, even if you hate it, I'd appreciate knowing why you hate it.