A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic ever. I hope you are patient enough to read all of it and maybe leave a review telling me what you think. I'd really appreciate it. Please have in mind that English isn't my native language so I apologize up front for any mistake you might find.
Neal was dead.
Emma still couldn't get her head around it, she hadn't even cried.
During the funeral she could feel everyone's eyes on her. She could feel their gaze burning through her skin with expectancy.
It had been two and a half weeks since then and she decided to go for a walk after the tenth time – that day alone – Snow asked her how she was feeling with that overly sweet worrisome voice only Snow could pull off.
She had never been a beach person but, for some reason, she felt like the sea breeze could be nice. She removed her shoes to allow the cold sand to scratch her bare feet while she walked; her eyes looking down and her mind lost in thought. Completely zoned out, she almost fell backwards when she bumped into something. Someone actually.
"Ow! I'm sor- Oh. Regina. I'm-" Emma started as she realized a rather confused looking brunette also trying to find her balance.
"No. It's okay. I was... I didn't see you. I-"
"Yeah, well. I guess that wouldn't have happened if you had, right?", Emma said with a forced smile and an even more forced joking tone on her voice. "I didn't see you either, I'm sorry. I guess that makes us even then, yea?"
Regina just stared at the blond woman for a while, a little sad smile on her bland face.
"Yes." was all she said after a while.
The sad feeling – and the little awkwardness of the moment – didn't go unnoticed by Emma.
"Regina," Emma lowered her voice, "are you okay?" she took a step towards the other woman, to what the brunette froze for a second, her face getting a slightly surprised semblance with something that looked like fear and maybe something else too. The woman quickly drifted her gaze to stare at the ocean.
"I suppose I could ask you the same, Sheriff." she said shifting her body, avoiding Emma's eyes but looking back at her from the corner of her eye, her front completely turned to the sea now.
"I'd prefer you not, Miss Mayor." Emma responded while turning herself now to stand next to the woman, a slightly annoyed tone to her voice.
"I won't," Regina promptly responded "I don't really need to." she completed turning her head to face Emma again, their eyes meeting briefly and a silent understanding floating between them.
"Thanks." she said with a sheepish smile. Her eyes darted back to the ocean, and so did Regina's.
They stood there in silence for a while when, finally, Emma looked back at Regina, the brunette's brows furrowed as if she was in deep thought, struggling with them, lost in them. And she was.
Emma sat down on the sand, the movement bringing Regina out of her reverie. She looked down, the blonde was looking up at her. Regina looked confused again so Emma just patted the sand next to her indicating the woman to sit. The brunette pondered for a while before finally letting out a resigned huff and gracefully sitting down, her legs stretched and her hands resting on her lap, her spine straight.
Emma eyed her quite amused, taking in the sight of a barefoot former Evil Queen sitting on the sand almost the same way she probably sat on a throne, she chuckled lightly "You are allowed to relax, you know?"
Regina turned to her with a question mark plastered on her face. Emma smiled lightly, but genuinely this time. "You don't have to be so.. Regal all the time." she said straightening her own back on an impersonating kind of way, "You could just relax for a change" she completed reaching out her hands and grabbing the older woman's shoulders pressing them gently. Regina closed her eyes at the touch. The quick massage lasted for only a few seconds though and when Regina reopened her eyes Emma could see the woman's sadness instantly and violently flashing at her. Still resting on Regina's shoulder, one of Emma's hands slip down the woman's arm stopping at her wrist. Emma squeezed it softly and asked again, "Regina," real concern in her voice "Is there something wrong?"
Regina was now staring at Emma's hand that was still holding her wrist, the sad smile back on her lips. Emma followed Regina's gaze and noticed her own hand holding the older woman. Confused, yet still quite amazed by the naturality of that action, she gently removed her hand.
"Sorry." she said, assuming the touch had made Regina uncomfortable, "I didn't mean to-" she was saying as she retrieved her hand back, but when the touch broke, Regina instantly missed it and turned to face Emma, her own hand reaching out for the blonde now, but aiming for her face. She cupped Emma's cheek and smiled "It's fine, dear" Emma smiled back letting her head rest on Regina's hand, the soft touch of the woman's hand making her eyes close now. Regina gently rubbed her thumb over the blonde's cheekbone just to heavily sigh then and remove it.
The intimacy of the action was lost on both of them. They had been really close since their return from the Enchanted Forest, so the easiness around each other wasn't really out of place. Defeating the Wicked Witch had not been an easy task, it required all their magic combined and it was absolutely draining, both physical and emotionally. They had to constantly support and find strength in each other, so at the end of it all they had grown accustomed to the soothing conversations and moments of comfortable silence shared between them after the many battles against the green which and her flying monkeys.
Instead of opening her eyes, though, Emma kept them shut and pressed them even tighter. Her head dropped to her chest heavily and, she too, left out a sigh.
Regina observed it without really understanding. She knew the blonde was still shaken from the events that happened two and a half weeks prior to this moment, but she felt like there was something more to it. She thought about asking but decided that if Emma wanted to, she would willingly share her thoughts. They knew each other enough now to know when not to push into things. It was quite funny, she thought, how they came to understand each other so much over the past months. Regina often wondered if her implanted memories had something to do with it, after all they were Regina's memories, therefore part of Regina herself. The first time Regina thought about it she almost freaked out thinking about how vulnerable that made her. She spent weeks of sleepless nights wondering if Emma knew about the memories, that they were actual hers with just slight alterations to fit into Henry and Emma's new made up life. At the end she decided she didn't really care. She trusted Emma enough not to feel vulnerable about it anymore.
"It's my fault." Regina heard Emma say, her muffled voice snapping Regina out of her own inner struggles. She looked at the woman sitting beside her. Emma had her knees up to her chest and her head buried between them, her blonde curls falling like a curtain from her shoulders, her arms embracing her legs. "It's my fault that Neal's dead."
"Emma-" Regina started to intervene but she thought better, she thought whatever it was she had to say, she could say it later. Emma needed to take that out of her chest and she would let it, she would listen. She placed a hand on Emma's lower back to assure her that she was there and let her talk.
"Back in Neverland," Emma started once again after a deep breath "in the Echo Cave, I said I wished Neal was dead." Regina could see Emma's shoulders starting to tremble, "I wished for it. And I should've known better... with magic and all... I shouldn't have done that. And now he's dead and it's my fault."
She looked up at Regina then, her emerald eyes glistening with water "It's my fault and everybody knows it, Regina. Even Henry! Henry asked me why I hadn't cried. He asked me if I didn't love Neal anymore. And Mary Margaret keeps asking me how I feel. She's probably afraid that there's something wrong with me, something bad. That I'm bad." her eyes couldn't hold back the tears anymore "And I am, because Neal's dead and it's my fault!"
The tears were falling rapidly on her face now, not even the sea breeze was enough to dry the streak on her face. Emma's grip on her legs was stronger now and her head was resting on her knees, turned to Regina, she was just staring at her. The brunette decided Emma had said everything she needed before finally speaking up again.
"Emma, dear..." she started, tracing her hand up Emma's back all the way to her head, reaching her temple and moving some blonde strands that were falling on her face "... none of this is your fault. Baelfire's death was exclusively on the Wicked Witch's hands. Not even Gold can be to blame for this. And I can assure you not one person in Storybrooke thinks this is your fault. They are only worried about you, Emma. Snow as well."
She gulped and hesitated for a moment "We all are... worried about you, Emma, because you shut off. And, well.. at first I thought you were just grieving, naturally. I did not realize you were feeling this... guilt. I think nobody does, Emma. And I am most certain nobody thinks you are guilty."
Regina was looking directly into Emma's eyes, she wanted the blonde to be sure she was being sincere.
Emma seemed calmer, but retorted "But the Cave!" she exasperated "Snow wished for another baby and she got it. And I..." she gasped and Regina cut her off.
"Emma, no! Snow getting pregnant had nothing to do with what happened in the cave. Snow is pregnant because she... well, because she engaged in activities with Mr. Charming that I would much rather not discuss." she attempted at a joke trying to make Emma feel better, which apparently worked because Emma let escape a weird sob/laugh along with a teary smile.
Regina went on then "Snow chose to... do it. And so she did it. No pun intended." Emma smiled again and chuckled, the sound inspiring Regina to continue "What I'm saying is Snow could have wished as much as she wanted – in the cave or anywhere else – she would never get pregnant if she didn't act on it. The cave didn't grant wishes, Emma. So it couldn't possibly be your fault."
"Are you sure?" the streaks on Emma's face were now dry and her head was no longer on her knees. She was still holding her legs close to her body, but her spine was straight.
"Yes, Miss Swam, I am more than sure." Regina replied in a know-it-all voice and a raised brow, at the same time fighting a smile on her lips.
Emma just beamed at the brunette which was enough to break her make-believe resolve and make her smile too, a big genuine smile.
"Thanks." Emma said rocking her body towards Regina bumping on the woman's side with her shoulder and torso.
"You're welcome." Regina replied awkwardly copying the shoulder bump.
"You haven't answered me though..."
"I'm sorry?" They both had replaced the smiles for a questioning look.
"What is the former Mayor of Storybrooke doing on the beach? Barefooted may I add."
"Well, apparently I am making you company, Miss Swan." She said matter-of-factly. Her gaze turning to the ocean to avoid Emma's questioning eyes. "Should you desire to be alone I can leave and-"
"Regina!" Emma interrupted with a disapproving look. Not a serious one, though. "You know what I'm talking about. You were here before we bumped into each other." She stated firmly and then proceeded to continue with a more soothing voice "What's going on? I..." She sighed "I know you."
The brunette turned to look at her. Emma held her gaze "I know there's something wrong. Is it.." She placed a hand on the back of her neck, scratching it awkwardly "Is it.. your.. Robin?"
"My Robin?"
"You know... Robin Hood..." Emma rolled her eyes, the awkwardness evident in her voice. She and Regina had become quite familiar with each other over the last months, especially after everything they went through together in Neverland, and the curse, and the recent battles and specially the "happy ending gift" as Emma liked to call it, but they never got to have talks as intimate as this, so yes, it was quite awkward. For both of them.
"Is everything okay with, you know, you two?" Emma asked sheepishly.
Regina opened her mouth to answer but shut it as quickly as the speed of her thoughts at that moment.
"You know what. This is none of my business.. I'm sorry I asked.. I was just.. trying to help, I don't know.." Emma mumbled the words, her cheeks suddenly turning bright red.
"No." Regina managed to say.
"No?" Emma asked confused. Not really sure what Regina was referring to.
"Yes. I mean. No. Not anymore." Regina tried to explain but it obviously just made the situation even more confusing. The look on Emma's face more lost than ever. Regina finally elaborated then "No. There's nothing.. wrong with Robin and I..."
"Oh." Emma said a bit too disappointed if she was honest, she never really liked the guy. She thought he was too condescending most of the times and his jokes were always terrible and he seemed to have a lot of them.
"…because we're not… really… together anymore." Regina completed lowering her voice to an almost inaudible volume.
"Oh!" Emma almost felt ashamed for the excitement she felt with the response, but managed to control it in order to provide the comfort she thought the brunette might need. "I'm sorry, Regina. I didn't know." Emma did feel sorry for Regina, she really wanted the woman to find love and be happy and even though she didn't really like Robin Hood, she thought maybe he could be it for Regina. But she had to admit she was glad he wasn't.
"It's alright, dear." Regina said quietly and looked down to her hands on her lap.
"So… How.. are you? With all of this, I mean. What happened? Are you okay? No, you're obviously not okay. Stupid question. And also, you don't have to tell me what happened, I.. I shouldn't have asked. I know I can be nosey sometimes. Don't mind me. I just… Is there something I can do? Are you in that stage yet where we talk badly of him? 'Cause I could totally contribute to that. A lot. What?".
Emma stopped her rambling when she noticed Regina's mouth open as if she was trying to say something "I was rambling, right? I know, I'm sorry. That happens sometimes when I'm exci- well, that happens sometimes." Emma spat, all in one breath, finally pausing and growling to herself "I'm sorry. I… Just… How are you?"
Regina didn't know exactly how to react to that, she opened and closed her mouth a couple times, shaking her head in the process when she finally said something she didn't really plan to.
"Were you just about to say you're excited, Miss Swan?" a joking tone to her voice even though the question was quite serious.
Emma's cheeks went instantly pink with the question, "Uh…" she definitely wasn't expecting that "…I guess… that depends?"
"On what exactly, dear? Care to elaborate on that?" Regina was clearly joking but it didn't change the fact that her serious, demanding expression sent a shiver down Emma's spine.
"If you are in that stage I mentioned…" Emma said looking down as if she was a little kid being talked down to. She waited for an answer from the older woman and when she didn't get one she looked back up to face her and what she saw was a beaming Regina Mills.
"Whaaat?" Emma herself was instantly beaming now "What's that look?"
"What look?" Regina just put her best I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about face on and giggled.
"That huge, glowing, amazingly beautiful smile-that-could-end-wars look" Emma said without really noticing what she was saying. She must have said something wrong though, 'cause Regina's face instantly changed from delighted to slightly disturbed and, once again, the woman returned her gaze to the hands on her lap. Emma hurried to apologize even though she didn't really know what for.
"Oh my god, Regina. I'm sorry. I.. Did I say something? I don't…" Emma huffed loudly scaring Regina and making the woman flinch. "I'm such a mess! I'm sorry. I'm just gonna shut the hell up. And I'll just be here with you. If you want to, of course."
Regina kept looking to her hands, not saying anything. Emma took that as a denial and suddenly got up to her feet.
"You know where to find me if you want to talk or something." was all she said when she turned around to leave.
Regina, in a halt, shot up from the sand and hurried to reach for the blonde's arm "What if I do?" she spat out as Emma turned back around.
"Do what?" she asked in confusion, her patience starting to wear thin.
"What if I do want to talk or… something?"
"Regina-" The brunette noticed the patience fading from Emma's voice so she just cut the blonde's probable question with one of her own.
"Emma, do you mind to join me for a walk?"
Emma just stared at here for a moment, considering if that was just another trick from Regina to dodge the talk, but she felt like the woman was finally ready to talk. So when Regina turned around and started walking, Emma just followed and waited for her to begin.
"I'm aware I'm being quite the annoyance for you right now, Miss Swan." she started. She felt like Emma was going to say something but the brunette gave her a knowing look and Emma stopped herself. She proceeded then.
"It's just… Well, I suppose by now you know I'm not exactly what people might call an open book" she said apologetically "I've never really had the habit of... you know..." she said eying Emma, expecting a comprehensive look back from the blonde, when she got none she continued "…talking."
"You're talking now!" Emma attempted at a joke gaining a disapproving look from Regina "Right. Shutting up. Kay. Go on." Emma said apologetically.
"All I'm saying, Miss Swan," Regina took a deep breath "is that talking about my… feelings" she said the word with an eye roll as if it was something ridiculously absurd "well, it's not exactly the easiest of tasks." she finally concluded.
She hadn't really revealed anything yet, so she didn't think Emma would have anything to say. Since they were walking side by side, Regina wasn't looking directly at her, but down to their feet instead. It gave her a bit of confidence. Or maybe it was just the absence of fear from having Emma's emerald eyes looking back at her. She was about to continue when she felt Emma's hand touching her arm. She turned to face the blonde only to see her smiling gently at her.
"It's okay" was all the blonde said, a green sign for her to keep talking. Regina smiled back and continued then.
"Emma, why did you get excited?" she straight up asked eying the blonde from the corner of her eye, and she was glad she did for now she was looking at a shocked looking Emma, jaw dropped as wide as her jaws would allow.
"Uh." the blonde started "I uh.." she was trying to find the right words not to hurt the other woman's feelings in case she still had feelings for the man she didn't really approve of "well, you know…"
"I'm afraid I don't, dear." Regina was quite amused with the stuttering "I think eloquence might be a good idea for starters. Then maybe I will know." she provoked.
Emma just glares at her and continues.
"Well, it's just that - and I'm sorry if you get offended, I don't mean to offend you or anything-"
"Just say it, Miss Swan." Regina provoked again.
"The guy's a jerk." she finally said with a pout.
"Excuse me?" Regina jerked her head back in surprise with the answer, not at all offended though, she just didn't expect that.
"I'm sorry, Regina. But he is. He's arrogant as hell and he has the worst taste for jokes. He's annoying and rude. He thinks he's better than half the people in this town. He doesn't really say anything but he looks at everyone else like they need to be saved from themselves and of course he thinks he's the one to do it."
She paused for a while to take a breath and consider all the things she didn't like about the man. She could say a whole lot more but she decided to add just one more thing to conclude.
"Also, he thinks he's the shit for boning the Queen" Emma didn't notice Regina's mouth snapping open and continued "He thinks he's oh so special because of that. I mean, I would feel special too but I would never brag about it! Guy's a total jerk."
"WHAT?" Regina finally managed to say to the last part, completely taken aback. Emma then realized what she had said and her eyes bulged out.
"Shit. Sorry, Regina! I didn't mean to talk about your sex life that way. I mean, he never really used the word "bone" or anything similar for that matter. It was just his attitude, you know." Emma's cheeks were a wild crimson and Regina was still in shock with the blonde's words, specially the last ones, to which Emma was still unaware.
"Emma, I don't even-" Regina didn't know what to say so she was quite grateful when Emma interrupted her.
"I'm really sorry, Regina. But, honestly, I don't know what you saw in that guy…"
"You" Regina whispered inaudibly.
"…So I'm actually glad that you bro-" Emma came to a sudden stop taking in the one syllable the brunette had just whispered "wait what?"
Regina didn't want to stop walking 'cause she knew she would have to face Emma then and she didn't know if she was ready for that. She had no choice though as she felt Emma's grip on her arm turning her around, she unconsciously shut her eyes as if to buy a feel more seconds until she had to face the green eyes that would most certainly be piercing her own.
"Regina…"
The tone in Emma's voice was gentle. Confused, but gentle. And that was enough to give Regina the courage she needed to reopen her eyes. And there they were, big, green, piercing eyes, going straight for her soul like a starving cougar goes for her prey.
It was only then that Regina realized how close they were, and it was only then she noticed Emma's grip still on her arm. Their eyes agonizingly locked. Regina desperately wanted to just drift her gaze to the ocean, heck, anywhere actually, but she knew that she couldn't. She knew there was no turning back now. She started thinking of all the reasons why she even brought it up.
She definitely hadn't planned for this, for any of this. She just wanted to go for a walk, to clear her head. But this… this is clearing way beyond her expectations, she wasn't ready for that much clearing. Damn that sheriff! Why did she have to be there?
"Yes. Why did you have to be here?" Regina finally managed to say. She didn't know where to start, so she might as well just buy herself some time with questions for Emma, she thought. It didn't look like the blonde was going to answer this one, though. Yes, it was a rhetorical question, but it was worth the try. Regina felt the grip on her arm loosen a bit and, just like a reflex, her hand darted to the blonde's as she finally spoke.
"Emma,…" her voice was soft but determined, her grip on the blonde's hand gentle but firm, like she really didn't want to let go "…when I came here today I had a lot on my mind. I had a lot of questions and I had a lot of fears."
"Okay…" Regina could tell by the catch in Emma's voice that the blonde was scared.
Regina herself had her nerves right under her skin, she didn't know what she was going to say next so she revisited Emma's questions to her from before, trying to find something she could use.
"You asked me what happened… No." Regina changed her mind, she wasn't ready for that yet, so she decided to try something else "You know, it's really funny, Emma" she said, a childish smile playing on her lips "that you said all those things about Robin."
"Funny?" Emma was getting more confused by the minute.
"Funny. Yes." the brunette smiled, apparently more at ease now "Because, you see, some of the things you said… Well, are you familiar with that theory that says that the things that bother us the most in others are, usually, things that we ourselves do?" the playful smile on Regina's lips was annoying Emma a little bit and the brunette could tell, but that fact only made her smile broaden.
"What's your point, Regina?" the pout Emma was now showing only confirmed the queen's theory that Emma was annoyed by the subtle comparison she had just made.
"My point, dear, is that you too possess some of the traits you find so irritating in our friend." Regina chuckled as she said that making Emma even more irritated. The irritation was even more clear when the blonde protested.
"Okay. First off, he's NOT my friend, thank you very much. And second: I do not! How dar-" Emma's ranting was cut off by one of Regina's fingers on her lips and a stern look. Emma almost choked on her words with the touch. The shock allowing Regina to move on with her speech.
"Yes you do. AND I recognize all of his flaws, of course, but he's not all bad. He's a very loving person, and caring and very, very brave, and strong..."
Emma's eyes were rolling so intensely at these words she almost got dizzy, she really looked like a displeased child
"...and he's a great friend and a really fun person to be around despite his bad taste for jokes as you pointed out."
"God, Regina, if he's so great why aren't you with him anymore?" Emma regretted her words as soon as they came out of her mouth. She didn't know who had broken up with who after all. What if it had been Robin? Then Regina would be upset with the question and that wasn't really fair. And if she was being honest, she didn't understand why was it that she was getting so annoyed by that. Emma didn't have time to think about much because Regina promptly answered.
"Because he's not you, Emma." There was a small smile on the brunette's lips, relief pooling in her eyes. Emma opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. The pout that was previously so obvious was suddenly gone. She was in sheer, utter shock. Regina decided she wasn't finished and continued with her confession.
"You see, you do share some of his annoying aspects," she started feeling the courage building up in her guts "but mostly you share the good ones."
Emma was taking everything in but she was still confused. Regina couldn't possibly mean what I think she means, she thought to herself, but she was still paying attention to the older woman's words.
"All those positive traits I pointed out," Regina continued "you have all of them too, Emma. And they're even more intense in you, if I'm being honest."
"Regina…" Emma tried to say something but Regina just shook her head and kept talking.
"I didn't realize any of it until after a couple moths with him. I was having fun, of course and I loved his company..." She paused then and her smile saddened a little bit "... but I didn't love him."
Regina felt Emma's grip on her hand tighten, she didn't know exactly what that meant but her heart skipped a beat in her chest and she felt her stomach drop filling her with courage to go on.
"I didn't love him and I don't think I could never love him because…"
Emma's eyes were searching for Regina's with such intent her brows were furrowing. Her head was light as if her brain had just been replaced by a bubble inside her skull. She couldn't hear her thoughts, she couldn't hear anything but Regina's voice at that moment. She also couldn't feel much so she tightened her grip on the other woman's hand to make sure she was really there, to ground herself. To that she heard the brunette's voice become stronger.
"… because as annoying as he could be," Regina was trying really hard not to let her voice falter when she finished her confession "he would never be as annoying as you, Miss Swan" she chuckled and gasped at the same time "I could never love him because I don't think I could love anyone…" Regina took a deep breath, Emma was holding hers without even realizing it, and then she said it "I couldn't love anyone that wasn't you."
Regina's shoulders immediately relaxed as a heavy breath left her lungs. She felt light, relieved.
But now what? She hadn't predicted the blonde's reaction so she had no idea what to do or expect now. Her shoulders tensing all over again when she realized she was scared. Emma was speechless but her eyes hadn't yet left Regina's, not even for a second.
She was trying to think about what the hell was happening at that moment, about everything the older woman had just told her and why was her heart beating so fast. She did care deeply for the brunette standing in front of her, she was her son's other mother after all and they were good friends. She sometimes even felt like they were a complete family, but that wasn't a big deal, right? She was just Regina. Yes, she was also incredibly beautiful if she was being honest. So beautiful! Way too beautiful for that Hoodiot douche.
Oh, she thought. Ooooh, she thought again as it dawned on her. Emma Swan, expert in discerning the lie from the truth, couldn't see the biggest of truths that was just under her nose for god only knows how long. All that time she was jealous of the man. Of course she would never admit it, but suddenly it all became very clear and she could only think of what a fool she'd been all along. How could one be so blind?
She then thought about the happy ending gift. And the moment Regina held her hand at the town line as they were saying their goodbyes. And she thought about the exact moment she recovered her memories. It was an intense moment, highly emotional and... a bit weird if she was really honest about it. And right now the memory of it was so vivid it was like it had just happened.
New York, One year before
Snow had almost begged the former Queen to try anything to get her daughter's memory back. Regina was surprised by the request and even more surprised by the trust her former enemy had on her, but she also understood that the Savior's mother was desperate, not only for hers and her daughter's, but also for the whole realm's well being.
The blonde didn't understand why those people were trying so hard to convince her she had lost her memories and was actually living off of fake ones provided by magic. First there was that pirate, then a loving looking woman about the same age as her claiming to be her mother. But it had been Neal, her ex-boyfriend, father of her son, who appeared to tell her it was all true. Of course she didn't believe at first and thought it was all a terrible prank, until he came back with this woman.
"There's someone who wants to see you" he looked vexed as he stepped away to show the woman behind him.
When she saw the brunette she didn't know what to think but she felt something coursing through her body, something like electricity. She didn't know who that was, but she had to admit seeing the woman before her sent shivers down her spine.
"Neal, I don't know who that is. What is she supposed to be now? My Grandma?" she scoffed, without realizing the look the two people standing before her shared, knowing that that was somewhat accurate.
"Just let her try something, Emma. Please. That's the last thing I'm gonna ask of you. I know you have every right not to believe me or to trust me or anything. But please, Emma." Neal pleaded with his big sad puppy eyes "for Henry."
Emma suspiciously eyed the brunette, she didn't want to give in to Neal nor to any of that nonsense, but she had to admit she was curious, rather intrigued by the woman.
"Emma?" the first word to left the older woman's lips standing at her door was all it took to break her resolve. That and the fact that her dark brown eyes were glistening with something that looked a lot like hope and Emma was finding it really hard to deny that to the woman, so she decided she would listen to whatever the woman had to say.
They were at Emma's bedroom, just the two of them. And Regina was pacing nervously as a concerned Emma sat on the bed staring at her. The brunette had asked for a more private environment where they could talk without being overheard or interrupted. Emma had begrudgingly agreed over the pretext that there was nothing this woman could do to her that she wouldn't know how to defend herself from.
"So..." Emma huffed out impatiently, to what Regina turned around and promptly blurted out.
"I don't know what to do!" the woman was clearly frightened
"I'm sorry?"
"I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get your memories back!" she was then pacing again. Violently. And she was shaking too. Her shoulders completely tensed. She was trying to hide her eyes under the dark locks of hair that were falling on her face, but after a quick turn Emma could notice the fear and desperation in the woman's eyes. It looked like she was about to cry.
As a reaction that felt almost automatic, Emma shot up from her bed and moved towards the agitated woman reaching for her arm bringing her to an abrupt halt. Regina's eyes instantly shot towards hers and the woman gasped heavily.
"Hey" Emma's voice was calm and soothing, something the blonde noticed with surprise. Why was she being like that? "Hey, Regina. It's okay."
Regina let the calm emanating from the Savior wash through her, her soothing voice filling her up with peace, something she hadn't felt in a really long time.
"Regina," Emma had her hands on the woman's shoulders, steadying her and forcing her to look straight into her eyes "whether my memories are lost or not. What does it matter? Why is it so important? If you guys need help with anything, just tell me what it is, maybe I can help."
"Emma, you don't understand..." there was exhaustion in her voice, her head falling to her chest, her gaze lost somewhere the blonde couldn't reach.
"Then explain it to me!" Emma encouraged the brunette but when she got no answer she let out an exasperated breath and let go of the woman.
Regina suddenly got out of her reverie and reached for the blonde's hands. She held them tightly and looked deep into Emma's eyes, trying to reach her soul. She thought hard about the last time she held those hands and looked just as deeply into those eyes. She remembered Emma's tears and the desolation they carried, she wanted desperately to wipe them away. All of it. She remembered Emma's bug driving away and all the emotions she felt at the moment came back to her like a tsunami tide when, suddenly, her hands started tingling. She was about to look down to their joined hands when Emma let go of them and it all happened quickly. Emma fell backwards unconscious, luckily her bed was right behind her, saving her from hitting the hard floor.
Regina immediately jumped towards her, sitting beside her on the bed and roaming over her, shouting out her name.
"Emma!" she screamed once again, and at this time Neal barged in the room just in time to see the blonde waking up. Green eyes snapped open to be instantly met by worried brown ones.
"Regina." Emma sucked in a breath while whispering the older woman's name, a completely different tone to her voice. Recognition. Regina noticed it and a beam suddenly took over her face.
The two women stared relieved at each other for a long moment until a confused Neal broke the silence.
"What's going on here?"
It was only then that the two women realized they were holding each other's hands. Regina helped Emma to sit up and let go of the hand, giving the blonde some time to center herself.
After glancing one more time to Regina, Emma turned to Neal and smiled.
"I remember."
Back in Storybrooke
Regina felt the wait to be too agonizing, she couldn't hold their gaze for much longer so she just smiled with a glint in her eyes that looked both apologetic and pleading. And then she was done, she couldn't stand those eyes anymore so she looked down to their hands, their grip still tight. But as soon as her gaze left Emma's and her head fell down she felt Emma's hand reaching out to grab gently on her chin bringing her eyes back up, forcing her to look to those bright, glistening, frightening eyes. But she was too scared to look at them now, so she shut them as quickly as she probably would at the imminence of meeting Medusa's eyes. It was then that she felt Emma's hand cupping her face, the touch so gentle and unexpected it made her shiver a bit. The tenderness in the action was enough to make her eyes flick back open with courage.
Nothing could have prepared her for the somersault feeling in her stomach when she looked at Emma and saw the tiniest of smiles on the blonde's lips, but the brightest and largest one in her eyes. Emma's hands slipped down the length of Regina's arms until they were holding the other woman's again.
Regina chuckled nervously then, but just a small fraction of it was real nervousness, for it was mostly because she thought that, with them, it was always like this, their eyes always held the bigger truth, the real feelings. With them, it always came down to speaking with the soul first. Whether they were fighting or supporting each other, it was always their eyes lingering stubbornly at each other that would tell exactly what their feeling were.
Emma responded the chuckle with one of her own and that's when Regina felt the gentle pull coming from both of Emma's hands.
Their eyes locked tight in silent agreement while their bodies got closer. Both hearts racing with a violent thud, like they were desperate to fly out of the cage they had been trapped for so long.
Their foreheads meeting, never breaking the eye contact until Regina closed her eyes. It wasn't fear this time though. It was joy. She felt Emma's forehead sliding softly from hers towards her temple.
Emma was rejoicing with every inch of skin she touched, caressing Regina's face with her own and taking in the scent of the other woman's skin in the process. Their cheeks were glued together now and they could feel each other's smile. Emma followed the curve in the corner of the brunette woman's lips with her own making both of their smiles broaden and then touch. They lingered there for a moment, lips touching in a craving smile when the tension and the want became just too much for both of them.
Emma and Regina both went in for the long awaited kiss at the same time, their lips gracing each other's with the softest of touches. Their smiles never leaving their faces. Emma sucked in Regina's lower lip with her own making the woman sigh. The blonde's hands were now holding Regina by the waist and pulling her closer. The brunette had one hand on the back of Emma's neck and the other was gently grabbing on blonde curls with a teasing pull that only made the kiss deepen.
Emma felt Regina's tongue tracing her bottom lip and she parted them welcoming the blonde's warmth inside her mouth. The tenderness of the tongues dancing around each other adding to the heat that was rapidly growing between them. Regina sucked in Emma's bottom lip and then kept it between her teeth in a gentle bite. When she let go of Emma's red lips, her hands slipped to the blonde's face and held it away from her, watching as the blonde slowly came back to reality.
When Regina broke the kiss, Emma's eyes remained closed for a few seconds while she was trying to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. She felt Regina's hands on her face and cupped them with her own when she opened her eyes. She then grabbed the brunette's hands removing them from her face and bringing them to her mouth. She breathed in them with a smile and touched them with her lips, her voice muffled by the hands when she said looking deep into brown eyes.
"I don't think I could ever find anyone as annoying as you either."
A/N: Hey, beautiful person! If you got all the way down to here all I have to say is: THANK YOU for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little thingy of mine.
As I said, this is probably the only fic I'll ever write, unless I get reviews to feel encouraged enough to write more.
So see you soon, maybe?
