I can't fucking believe it. Alice fucking Cullen set me up on yet another blind date, and this time, she didn't even have the decency to tell me about it. And wait, it gets better! She set me up with one of the most irritating, conceited, irrevocably dense motherfuckers in the world – Mike fucking Newton.

So now, I'm being forced to sit and pretend like I care to whatever said Newton is talking about on what could've been such an amazing Saturday night with my Nicholas Sparks chick flicks, a helluva comfy sofa, and buckets and buckets of junk food. All thanks to my wonderful best friend who will probably be dead by tomorrow morning.

"…And I was like 'No! Not the burgers!'" Newton said, finishing his "funny" story, before laughing, no howling, like the crazy psycho he is. I smiled grimly, trying to slide down further into the booth discreetly, without him noticing my obvious embarrassment. We were getting stares from little five year olds. Even they noticed what a schmuck Newton is!

"So, why don't you tell me about you? I feel like I've been talking about myself the whole night!" He smiled, running his hand through his hair. I scoffed internally, oh really? I decided to try and make the best out of the situation and planted a smile – fake, but real enough to him – on my face.

"Well, I like to-"Newton cut me off, "OH MY GOD THAT REMINDS ME! There was this one time where I…"

I fumed, this is not happening. I am not sitting through this torture any fucking longer. I looked down at the clock on the wall, 10 o'clock. Okay, if I sneak out of here, I'll probably still have enough time to drive to Alice's apartment, strangle her, and then come home to my sofa, chick flicks, and junk food.

"Hey Mike, I'm gonna head to the ladies room, if you don't mind. Gotta get ready for dessert, if you know what I mean." I smiled flirtatiously, batting my eyelashes. He raised his eyebrows and smiled cockily, "Don't take too long, babe. We got a long night ahead of us." Newton winked at me, probably thinking it was sexy but it was a really horrific sight from my point of view.

I got up and made my way to the restroom, shuddering from the thought of actually sleeping with him. Never gonna happen, buddy. Okay, so the sneaking out through the bathroom plan is cliché, I get it. But I'm desperate here, anybody would be! I did absolutely nothing wrong to deserve this kind of cruel torture!

I went into the ladies room and thank the lord and all that's holy, there just happened to be an open window that I could easily climb up and out of. This was meant to happen. This window was meant for me. I climbed up on to the window, took off the heels that Alice so delicately laid out for our "girls night out", and jumped. Running like the wind to my car, I texted Alice:

Snuck out, on my way to your house to kill you.


"ALICE! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!" I shouted, banging furiously on her door that would soon be in pieces if she didn't freaking open it. I got a few shouts to "shut up" but I was too damn angry to care about the rest of the neighbourhood not getting any sleep. I was put through agonizing torment sitting through hours with that Newton, I think you can risk not getting an hour of sleep!

"ALICE! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS FUCKING-" My shouting was interrupted by the door opening and me, being extremely unbalanced and uncoordinated, fell face forward into a rock hard wall.

"What in the absolute sweet Jesus is your problem, lady?" An irritated yet extremely sexy melodic voice asked, helping me off the rock hard wall. I stepped back, blushing beet red, and looked up at the rock hard wall, which happened to be a very, very muscular chest, and what stared back at me was a piercing shade of beautiful green eyes.

Tousled, messy hair, Adonis-like features, muscular, and perfect lips curling up to a smirk, this gorgeous strange leaned against the door frame.

"Do you need mouth to mouth resuscitation? Because I'm definitely sure I'm taking your breath away." He cockily smirked, actually leaning in to kiss me. My nervousness around this handsome guy suddenly turned to disgust. This cocky bastard! Who the hell does he think he is? I pushed him away and slapped him, hard, in the face. Asshole's lucky I didn't knee him in the balls. He stared at me agape, holding his now red shaded cheek as I pushed past him and into Alice's apartment.

"MARY ALICE FUCKING CULLEN, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" I yelled, loud enough that even fucking China could hear me. I stormed into her living room and saw 3 other strangers, 2 guys and a girl, sitting on her couch, looking absolutely terrified at the sight of me. Good.

Not caring who the strangers were, I went up to the blonde haired one guy and grabbed him by the collar. Yes, I actually grabbed this lean, muscular, honey blonde handsome guy by the collar. I do crazy shit when I'm mad. "Where. Is. She?" I seethed. His mouth opened and closed a couple times before he pointed to the kitchen island. Behind the island? Really? That's her best hiding spot?

I dropped him and made my way over, absolutely certain I heard a squeak. I made my way around the island when finally, the little pixie came into view, crouched and terribly frightened. I slowly walked to her until she finally shot up and ran over the honey blonde, hiding behind his back.

"Look, Bella, I know you're mad that I set you up again! But I just didn't want you to be lonely anymore!" She cried. I noticed some movement behind me, guessing it was that cocky bastard who opened the door.

"So you set me up with MIKE FUCKING NEWTON?" I yelled. "Out of all the fucking people, in the whole fucking world, you decide to set me up on a blind fucking date, and mind you not even mentioning it to me before hand, with one of the most SELF-CENTERED, ANNOYING, DENSE, and not to mention DISGUSTING human beings on the whole fucking PLANET?" I ranted. "And then you have a party while I'm sitting through hours wanting to kill myself?"

"Oh god, can you be any more of a drama queen? You really are Alice's best friend." The cocky bastard from the door scoffed. I narrowed my eyes and half turned to glare at me.

"You shut your mouth, pretty boy. At least I'm not a cocky bastard who comes on to a complete stranger thinking said stranger wants to get in your bed when all said stranger thinks is that you're a douche with a big head and an ego to match!" I retorted. Silent "Ohhhhs" were heard in the background, presumably by the two other strangers watching intently on the scene unfolding before them.

"OHMIGOD, EDWARD, YOU CAME ON TO MY BEST FRIEND? I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!" Alice screeched, looking infuriated and would've made a beeline to scratch 'Edward's' face off had not honey blonde held her back, and by the looks of it, Alice was close to winning out of his arms.

"Oh little sis, I'm shaking in my boots." 'Edward' cried, pretending to be in agony at the little pixie's threat. Wait, little sister? This was the womanizing, jerkface brother Alice kept going on about?

"You better be!" Alice threatened again, now out of honey blonde's hold. She turned to me, "Look Bells, I'm really, really, really sorry about Mike and the whole blind date thing, I just wanted you to be happy. Granted, Mike clearly wasn't the best choice (I rolled my eyes at this) and I am extremely sorry." Alice pouted, pleading her case. Damn her puppy dog face!

I sighed and silently cursed whatever higher power for being so weak. "Fine, you're forgiven, but as long as you promise not to set me up on any more blind dates!" She beamed and engulfed me in a big bear hug, taking away my breath. I frantically searched for honey blonde and silently mouthed 'air' to him.

He chuckled and finally spoke, surprising me with the Southern drawl that left his lips, "Darlin', the lil' lady needs to breathe."

Alice suddenly remembered I was human and let me go. I finally took in my surroundings, coming down from the anger high. The two strangers who were quietly making sound effects was a big, extremely muscular and intimidating, curly haired, brown-eyed man, with the cutest dimples and a beautiful, no, breathtaking model with stunning blonde hair and an equally stunning face and figure.

"So, Alice, now that there's this awkward tension in the air, care to introduce me to honey blonde and the sound effects duo over there?" I sarcastically asked. Everyone silently chuckled at my nicknames.

"Bella, this is my lovely boyfriend, Jasper, or 'honey blonde' and the sound effects duo over there is my older brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. They just finished their 3rd year at Dartmouth and are staying here for the summer." Alice introduced, gleaming proudly at her pack of friends.

Alice told me about them, how her boyfriend, brothers, and brother's girlfriend were going to Dartmouth University. Alice chose to go to University of Forks to stay close to home and I, moving from Phoenix, to also go to UOF, met her during Welcome Week. Surprisingly enough, we were assigned each other's roommates and sure enough, became best friends. We too, had just finished out first year and were out for summer vacation.

"Call me Rose." Rosalie, or Rose I guess, smiled sincerely at me.

"Ali, you forgot to properly introduce me." Edward mocked, pretending to be hurt as he finally walked into view, sitting on the arm of the sofa, facing me.

I scoffed, "Oh don't worry, she's already told me all about you and from your own first impression, and I'd say everything she told me was spot on. You're a womanizing, too cocky for your own good, asshole with an ego as big George Lopez's head, and yes, that's pretty massively big."

"Ohhhhh, Eddie boy, need some ice for that burn?" Emmett howled, cracking a big grin and thumbs up to me behind Edward's back.

"Just admit, Isabella Swan, you want me. Bad, from the first moment you laid eyes on me." Edward smirked, completely ignoring Emmett's remark and emphasizing my full name. Alice must have told him how much I hated my whole name.

"Edward, okay, that's disgusting! Stop making passes at my best friend!" Alice whined, punching Edward in the arm. He didn't even flinch, keeping his gaze locked with mine and his oh so famous smirk planted on his face.

I scoffed, "Eddie boy, the first time I laid eyes on you, you tried to kiss me so I slapped you hard on the face, leaving an extremely beautiful shade of red on your cheek. So if that's what they call wanting someone these days, than I guess I'm dying to be with you." I retorted sarcastically.

A round of "Ohhhs" was once again heard from the surrounding crowd. Edward's face grew red with anger as he pushed past me and fumed all the way upstairs. Ha, probably never been upstaged by a girl before.

"Nice meeting you too, pretty boy!" I smirked, calling out to him as he stomped all the way to the guest room. Everyone in the room burst out laughing.

"That was rich, Edward's never been told off by a girl before except me and Alice! You are my new favorite person in the world!" Rose said, laughing hysterically.

"True dat!" Emmett howled.

I smiled, "Well as fun as that was, I'm actually really tired so I'm think I'm going to head home. It was nice meeting you guys, well, most of you guys anyway. We should all hang out soon!"

I bid them goodbye and drove home. Climbing into bed, I looked back at what surely was an eventful day, unaware that the green-eyed cocky bastard would soon appear in my dreams.

Hey guys! So that was the first chapter and I hope you liked it! To be honest, I was skeptical about going into writing fanfiction again because I never finish my damn stories and end up deleting them! I truly apologize for that, by the way. But anyway, I am determined to finish this story because I feel like my writing has improved. Also, you'll have to be patient with the updating, because I usually take some time to write a chapter just because I want it to be perfect for you guys. Review and give me feedback on how to improve anything or just to pass on some love! Till next time xx - D