I think this might be the worst day of the school year so far. It didn't look promising to begin with, waking up to a grey sky with heavy clouds, and it just kept getting worse. I had left my car to the mechanic and had simply walked to school this last week, which didn't bother me… unless it was a rainy day. My half-broken umbrella barely managed to stand straight, let alone provide descent protection from the large drops of rain, so I gave up altogether and threw it in the trash deciding to make a run for it.
As you can imagine I made it to school soaking wet and in a very, very bad mood. Thankfully my first class was English, a subject I actually enjoyed and even though I was a little late, I was on good graces with Mr. Andrews . He was from England and mostly improvised his classes. Throw in the accent and that class was everything but boring. I collected my books and giving my hair quick shake, a pathetic attempt at air drying them, I walked inside the class.
"Ah Miss Stuart!" Mr. Andrews sent a cheery grin my way. "I would inquire about your tardiness, but your apparel seems self-explanatory."
Scratch everything nice I have ever said about this British scum. As the first wave of laughter receded, I made my way to my usual seat in the back and sank down, grateful for my first chance to rest in a really crappy day and for the fact that I showed enough restraint not to flip off my favorite teacher. You could say I have a temper.
"As I was saying the author we're discussing today is Fitzgerald. The Great Gatsby. The roaring '20s. I am warning you, if someone asks me how it was back then, they might as well give up hope on ever passing this class."
Another wave of laughter and he went on with explaining the themes of the book. It didn't escape my notice that he left the most important one for last.
"Love" he finally said. "The force that drove our main character. Isn't it amazing? The intricate plans a man brings to life, driven by passion. Pure, uncontrollable passion."
He had my full attention. I had read the book weeks ago and knew what he meant. A realist would consider Gatsby delusional in his belief that he could reclaim the past. But a part of me couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to want something so much.
As the hour wrapped up, he informed us that our semestral project was on TGG and we would be working in pairs. I usually worked with Aylee, the geekiest of my friends when it came to books, and this time was no exception. As I stood up to sign my name and hers, I passed the pen to the one behind me and then stopped when I saw who it was. Francis. Francis Valois. His blue eyes took in my wet clothes and disheveled hair and there was something in his gaze that made me uncomfortable so I scurried off as fast as I could. Of course he would notice my state, self-important prick that he was. Anger churned within me as I changed my books and headed for my Math class. Thankfully, here I was on time and this particular teacher just filled the board and talked throughout the class without really caring if any one was paying attention, which was just as well. I couldn't stop combing my fingers through my hair, hating that really humiliating instant In the previous class.
I should probably give you some intro into who Francis Valois is and why he irritates me so much. We used to be friends once when we were kids. I really loved him. I can remember all the times I would chase after him in our neighborhood and how happy I felt when I left my house and saw his red bike on the street. But after I turned six my family moved away and only last year we came back, after my grandfather passed away. Looking for him was one of the first things I did. My breath caught when I first saw him. He had always been cute, but the lovely features of the child I remembered had sharpened and his face could now only be described as gorgeous. He stood taller than me, and the only thing familiar about him was that mop of golden curls and his blue, blue eyes. A surprised smile greeted me as if he too liked my adult appearance.
But after a polite welcome, as days passed he just became colder and colder, until I got the point and stopped trying to contact him. After the first few months I realized that the child I knew had nothing to do with the boy that he was now. He was popular in school, excellent student and you never saw him with the same girl twice. I decided to accept that my childhood friend didn't exist anymore. I made new friends and moved on but Francis had always held a special place in my heart and now I felt as if he had robbed me of it. Hence my anger. It was one thing to go out of his way to ignore me and another entirely to judge me. Even though I wasn't sure it was judgment I saw in his gaze. Whatever .
The day dragged on after that not necessarily improving. As I finally headed home, a dark blue Cadillac stopped next to me and I heard the cheery voice of the one and only Sebastian.
"What's a gorgeous thing like you doing, walking home? A ride should always be at your disposal!"
He said that with a glint in his eyes, which made me laugh.
"Well what are you going to do about it?" I replied with a flirty air.
The passenger door immediately opened and I walked the other side and got in, giving him a big grin. Despite our shameless flirting, Bash was the closest thing I had to a big brother. Unfortunately, he wasn't. But he was someone else's. Yep, the two most contrasting boys I had ever met shared the same blood. Well, on their father's side anyway. Bash's mother died during childbirth and Henry Valois remarried Francis's mom. It was no secret that mutual disdain existed between Catherine and Sebastian, but they had gotten used to each other. As for me, while his brother didn't bother with me much after I returned, Bash took the time to help me adjust to being back. He never showed any interest in me however and I had to admit I felt relieved. For some odd reason, hooking up with Francis's brother seemed disturbing to me.
"So what has life been for sweet young Mary? Is high school as good as I remember it to be?"
Bash finished high school but didn't bother with college, choosing to take over some of his dad's business's. To say that the Valois were wealthy was an understatement. My family was well-off too but still…
"I'm sure it's not the same wonderland for me as it was for you but I'm doing okay."
Bash laughed at that and then regarded me carefully.
"Anyone giving you trouble? Cause you know I am more than willing to show them just how much of a bad idea it is to mess with you."
"Thanks Bash but it's not necessary. I'll keep it in mind though."
"Even if I'm not here, there's always Francis. He seems all skin and bones but he's got a mean right hook." Bash shuddered as if recalling something.
My smile froze at the mention of Francis.
"I don't think he would be thrilled to come to my rescue." I said in a sarcastic tone.
"I've noticed. I don't know what's going on with him, I really don't. When you two were kids, you used to be tied at the hip. Now he's just … I don't know. But one thing's for sure. He cares for you. Whatever it is, that's not the problem."
I stayed silent. As always talking or thinking about Francis stirred a lot of emotions inside me. Anger prevailed and I focused on that. When we reached our street, I said goodbye to Bash and got out of the car. I saw Francis standing in front of their house, his eyes moving between his brother and me. After a beat, he turned around and went inside.
Bash turned toward the house than stopped abruptly.
"Oh hey, we're throwing a party this Saturday. Dad and the shrew are traveling and we're free for a few days. You should really come. It would be just the thing for you."
"Sure. Thanks." I said thinking he was probably right.
"And bring some girlfriends. It would be just the thing for me."
I walked inside my house laughing.
Saturday
My dress was red and kinda slutty. That's what you get when you go shopping with Kenna. Lola, Greer and Aylee had dressed in a much more conservative fashion and it kinda made me want to go back across the street and change. But no chance of that. Kenna rang twice and gave me a sharp look.
"Stop fidgeting. You look hot!"
I was about to reply with a scathing remark when the door opened. Francis stood there, dressed in the most casual way I'd ever seen him. Black pants and a black t-shirt, which really emphasized his light colored hair and eyes. His hair was much tamer than usual, as if he actually bothered with a comb instead of just letting the curls go everywhere. He looked... whatever.
"I hope it wasn't hard to find the house." He said to Kenna who stood in front of us.
"Of course not. We got ready at Mary's. All we had to do was cross the street."
At that Francis's eyes flew to the rest of us and stopped at me. His eyes took me in from head to foot and an expression similar to the one he wore in class crossed his face.
"I see." He said, his voice slightly husky. "Well, come in. Everybody is inside." He turned around and left.
The Valois living room was grand, even with the dim lights and dozens of people inside. We grabbed a cup of beer and started going through the throngs of people, saying hello to our friends and checking out who else had been invited. My eye caught Francis standing near the window with Olivia. The blondest and bitchiest cheerleader you could possibly meet. She was clinging to him in such a suggestive manner I felt like walking up to them and tell them to get a room. Instead I took a big gulp of beer, finishing it and went for a refill. After two more my head started filling fuzzy but I knew that I hadn't reached my goal of getting wasted. A voice startled me from my self-destructive thoughts.
"How about a dance?" The guy who spoke at my ear was clearly one of Bash's work friends. But he was cute and I nodded and smiled at him. It was only after we started to dance that I regretted my decision. He was very touchy feely and I immediately started feeling uncomfortable. Soon after I left and went to the back yard for some fresh air.
My head felt a little clearer but I knew that I shouldn't have drunk that much. A hand around my waist startled me and I saw the college dude I ditched on the dance floor standing really close to my face, trying to kiss me.
"Stop." I said in my most stern voice. He didn't seem to care, his hold getting tighter and I started to struggle.
"C'mon baby you'll like it" He spoke in a slurred way and my own dizzy state made it hard to argue with him or push him back.
As soon as he leaned in again and I let out a yelp, someone grabbed his arm and twisted it.
"Let go of Mary." A very familiar, very pissed of voice, spoke next to me. My heart actually skipped a beat. Probably from relief. The drunk guy looked at him and realized that he had no hope of winning a fight with someone in his state so he backed off, returning inside without another word.
I was about to thank Francis for his intervention when he grabbed my arm and started pushing me toward the pool house. I was so confused by his attitude that I didn't even think to struggle. As soon as we were inside, he turned to me eyes blazing.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Excuse me?" I said, my voice slightly scratchy.
"Coming over here dressed like that, flirting with every guy in that room, and now actually stepping out with that creep?"
I was about to point out that I hadn't stepped out to be with anyone but another thought took precedence.
"What's it to you? Why do you care? You've got no right to chastise me for what I do or don't do."
" Do not push me Mary. I am reaching my limit. You showed up this week to school wearing a shirt so wet, everyone could see through it. Started taking joyrides with my brother, and now this. Whatever you think you're proving, it needs to stop. You can't behave like this."
"Prov…" I started surprised by his choice of words until I understood. "You think I am trying to get back at you?"
"I think you're impulsive and prideful."
I actually froze for a moment.
"Let me make something very clear. I do not do anything because of you! I forgot about you the moment you shoved me out of your life last year!"
He flinched but I didn't care. I pressed on. So many furious words that had festered inside me for so long came rushing out.
"You were the first person I reached out to when I came back, my oldest friend. What I got was a door slammed in my face, and a shitload of no calling back. After that kind of treatment, do you really think I would waste another minute of my life thinking about you?"
He was positively shaking now, looking at me as if I had grown two heads. I thought saying all this out loud would give me some sort of peace, but the more I looked at him, the more anger I felt. I decided to leave.
"My friends are waiting." I said my tone cold as ice. As I made a move to go around him, his hand grabbed my arm. I felt a charge go all around me, due to the fact that it was the last thing I expected him to do.
"You're lying." He said, his tone as cold as mine. He turned to face me, those blue eyes so dark, they were nearly black.
"About what?" I asked, my voice quivering, and I silently cursed myself.
"About not thinking about me. I know you do. I feel your stares at school, your eyes following me everywhere I go. I wanted you to stop it. To not do it. To leave me be."
My eyes started to sting.
"Don't worry, after tonight I will never look at you again." I try to wrestle my way free but he seemed to be in a trance not even noticing my struggles.
"I wish you'd never returned." He exhaled and I actually felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. He saw them and cupped my face, using his thumbs to wipe them. I just wanted to leave, before he said something even crueler, but I knew my knees were trembling.
He was looking at me with the same expression he always looked at me. Something harsh and sad. Then he did the last thing I expected him to do.
He kissed me. His mouth swallowed my surprised whimper and my arms automatically went around his neck. He was not gentle. There was an edge of desperation in the pressure of his lips, and the way his hands roamed my body and held me still for the punishing rhythm of his mouth. His teeth started nibbling on my lower lip and I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, my thoughts scrambled by an intense feeling that could only be described as hunger. I don't know how long we stood there, it could have minutes or hours. He finally lifted his head, breathing heavily, his eyes completely black now.
"You drive me so crazy my Mary." He sighed.
"I don't understand anything anymore" even I could hear the hurt in my voice.
"I know, I know" his tone was apologetic but he didn't offer any explanations.
I didn't know what to think. Nothing made sense. And not just on his side. For the last year I thought I hated him and yet he touched me and I responded as if I had wanted this all along. Did I? Had my anger concealed the true nature of my feelings for Francis? If so, when did it start? I had always loved him , even when things between us fell apart, but when did I start to want him? How had he realised it before even I did? And why did he shut me out? I was so confused and so tired, I couldn't handle anything else.
"I have to go" I said letting my voice carry my exhaustion.
He nodded and let go of me already hiding his expression as he distanced himself with a few steps.
"I guess I'll see you in school then." he said ,opened the door and left.
I texted Kenna about the fact that I was leaving and headed straight home. After a long shower, I sank into bed, closing my eyes and almost immediately fell last thought was the memory of a six year old boy, hugging me and whispering 'my Mary'…
