Disclaimer: I don't own DC. It's called fan fiction because it was made by fans such as myself.
It Took So Little
How can she trust him? He's made up bunches of lies already. How could he just take this trust she gave him for granted? The one person she could only trust before now became questionable. Doubtable, she thought, was the right word for him now. She didn't want to look at him, she didn't want to hear anything that concerns him, truth be told, she didn't want anything to do with him! She was hurt, badly. She couldn't even believe that he, among all the people, was the one who did it. Despite those reassuring words, a promise he called it, that the last thing he would want to do is hurt her in any way possible.
Promises were made to be broken. She couldn't agree with it more.
While sitting on the floorboards of her room, staring into the pictures of the good old times. Those good old times with him at least. Contemplating whether or not she'd burn these pictures, she glanced at them again, three full large albums.
"This would be a lot easier if we weren't so—" Ran just heaved a heavy sigh and ran her fingers through her hair, frustratingly slamming the pictures on the floor. Tears threatened to come out but she forced them back, "I have to be strong. I can do this. My whole world won't end just because of him, he's not the only man in the world." She reassured herself, comforting her spirits at the same time. Feels better, she thought. Or at least, she tried to feel better. Deep inside she knew, that these feelings for that idiot wouldn't and couldn't be thrown out. She knew that her feelings for him would still be the same, if not the same then it would mean it has gotten a lot stronger. She knew in herself that it was inevitably difficult to actually draw away from him. She knew that she would come running right back to him at the end of the day.
She heaved an exasperated sigh and decided that she was actually doing something quite childish and stupid. She was in a way, disappointed with herself.
The rain fell harder than she imagined. The coldness of the rain and of the wind suddenly made her chill. She needed to warm herself. She was unaware of her shivering but she knew she felt cold. Even the blanket she brought along seemed useless. Her eyes, perhaps wanting to tease her, glanced over the empty room that was once used by that "heartless detective" , as she called him. Memories of those times flashed in her mind once again.
"Ran-neechan, you seem cold." Conan-kun worried, sitting next to her. "Looks like the weather will still be bad until tomorrow, or so the news says." He chuckled just as an innocent child would.
"Yeah, there won't be any classes until tomorrow. Sonoko told me." She sighed as her eyes looked far away. Far away. "Shinichi-kun," she paused, "Shinichi would always call me during these times. When the weather's bad, he calls, saying he's alone in the house with no one to talk to." She smiled, seemingly sadthat he was actually farther away and yet happy that it even crossed her mind.
Conan-kun stared for a while, "I'll make some hot milk. Ran-neechan what would you want?"
"H-Huh?" Ran was a bit startled, it looked like her mind still lingered in those sweet memories. "Oh, I'll have whatever you're having." Her eyes looked far away once more. "Shinichi may seem annoying and high-and-mighty most of the time, but whenever we're alone he'll always be kind of—sweet, at least in his own little way." She giggled to herself. "People just usually get him wrong for being selfish and proud, they just don't see the good in him. But he never minded what others thought of him. Maybe becuase he knows who he is and that he should just be himself, regardless of what others says they don't matter." She stared at the table and mumbled, "I miss him so much."
"Ran-neechan," mumbled Conan-kun. "Shinichi-niichan will surely come. He's probably out there thinking the same things as you are right now. Maybe he'll call a bit later saying he's got no one else to talk to. You'll never know." His natural childishness was somehow uplifting. "Anyway, I'll be in my room, I'll put it back for sure. Good night Ran-neechan."
Ran giggled softly, "And surely enough, he did call. Just like he said he would." Tears just trickled down her cheeks. "Whenever I think about it, it feels embarrassing that I said all those things to him. I basically opened up to him. Everything, I told him everything," sighed she, hiding her face in her hands. She didn't bother wiping the tears, it'll just dry sooner or later anyway, she thought.
The kettle whistling couldn't have been more helpful to her for jerking her out of that dreaded state. Although now she was even more confused, why was she crying? As far as she was concerned, there were only two reasons why she would cry for him now: First, the feeling of missing those times when they seemed like two carefree lovebirds with no clue that they were even in love. And second, though she strongly wanted to deny it, the mere thought of having to let him go; for him to leave her life and everything else that goes with him. Maybe she'll best keep her being confused. There would be less disappointement, hopefully.
But you're already disappointed and even worse, a nagging voice reminded her. Battling with oneself is the hardest battle anyone could ever face. Even if she already knew, in her heart, that there was no chance she'd let him go. But she wanted to, she wants to try to let him go. She wanted to hate him, she wanted to ignore him, she wanted to put less attention to the thoughts of him, she wants to erase him from her mind. Everything about him, completely erased; his existence, completely dead. She didn't like pain, she didn't want pain; not from him. Sharing pain would've been fine. Oh, why was she even considering it? She hates him, she hates him, she hates him, she hates him, she hates him!
"Who am I kidding?" Ran hopelessly sighed, "I won't be able to hate him THAT much. I won't be able to resist him. Why? I have to forgive him, I'm not being fair. I'm the one being selfish." She broke into tears realizing that crying actually helped comfort her. It wasn't the tears, it was the reason of her crying. She's been a fool all this time, trying to fool herself. She cried more but was laughing as she wiped her tears.
Now this, feels much better.
-Well, here it is. My first one shot in DC. And yes, my laptop has yet to be fixed but hey, my hard drive is here so I can continue the other story! Yay! (claps hands) Hope you liked the story.
