A/N: Alright, I wrote this at five AM so it's not my best work, but I like it. :) Sorry about all the line breaks, but the reason for that is scenery change that shouldn't have step-by-step explanation. Just quick transitions to keep the story going. :) Enjoy!
"Sebastian…It hurts."
"Be patient, Young Master. It will feel better soon."
The whimpering continued as Ciel was at the mercy of his butler, the wetness dripping over his swollen…
Eye.
Yes, Ciel's eye was a purple-blue color as Sebastian dabbed an ice-cold towel over it to reduce the swelling.
The current state Ciel was rendered in was due to Finnian's latest idiotic display of strength. While clearing out some dead branches from the garden's trees, the bishounen happened to throw one a bit to far behind himself, thus flying through Ciel's window as he spun around in his big chair. If they hadn't been part of his personal army, the servants at the manor should have been fired long ago.
So, there sat a half-blinded Ciel, only able to see Sebastian's kneeling form as a blurry blob of black and white.
"Young Master, I shall go retrieve some ice." Sebastian said, turning for the door before Ciel stopped him.
"Forget the ice, just give me some dessert."
The butler sighed and shook his head. "Young Master, if I do that you will not finish your dinner tonight."
"Just make something."
"I cannot."
"Just make something!"
"No, Young Master."
Meanwhile…
The Undertaker, who seemed otherwise nameless, sat in his workshop atop a coffin, toying with a faux skull. Of course, anyone who walked in would believe it was a real skull, but that was the point, was it not? A perk of the Undertaker job was scaring anyone you came across. It gave one a first rate laugh, after all.
Now as he toyed, he pondered. He pondered many things, but one that stood out in his mind was the young child who so often visited him, Ciel.
Oh, what an interesting creature the boy was. The Queen's faithful dog, whom of which was followed about by his own dog. Followed by said dog most annoyingly so. Sighing, the Undertaker placed the skull on the coffin and stood up to pace, placing his hand upon his chin and pursing his lips as he did so.
It was a rather well kept secret that the Undertaker had a sort of crush on the small boy, it was not the first time he found himself annoyed with the butler, but today would be the day he would devise a plan to separate the two. He was sure of it! A devious smile spread across the Undertaker's lips as he put on his traveling cloak and raced off to the mansion to stalk—ahem, see what the boy was up to.
Poking his head in a window in the room Ciel spent a majority of his time in, the Undertaker snickered at the horrible sight before him.
Ciel's beautiful blue eye was bruised over, and unless the boy was some freak, it would be impossible for him to see much with an eye patch over one eye and a swollen mess on the other. It was perfect, and a plan formed itself in the Undertaker's head...
"I must finish the Young Master's dinner quickly, lest his patience wither…" Sebastian murmured to himself.
He had narrowly scraped losing the dinner vs. sweets argument with his Lord earlier, making a hasty escape before the Young Master could remove his eye patch and demand his sweets. Although granting his master's wishes was a part of a demon's aesthetics, so was making sure the Master was healthy, as earlier explained by Agni.
Sebastian smiled as he withdrew top quality beef-Wellington from the oven and added the garnish, taking pride in his work.
He had no interest in human food, but it was nice when the Young Master appreciated what he made. It meant he was doing his job well. A butler to the core, he called himself.
Before he had the chance to pick up the tray of food, a gag found its way in Sebastian's mouth and everything went pitch black as he felt his hands and feet being bound.
"Perfect~" The Undertaker murmured after removing his clothes and replacing them with Sebastian's, who was now writhing, half naked and gagged, on wine cellar floor.
"Now all I need is the finishing touch and vua-la~." He said, taking a wig from his sleeve and placing it sloppily atop his head. It would be perfect, and the half-blind Ciel would never know the difference!
Ciel waited at the long dining hall table, wrapping his fingers upon it. What was taking Sebastian so long? First no sweets, and now this long wait for dinner? Oh, he was going to get it…
"Young Master, dinner is served~" A deep voice called to him.
"Well finally."
"However, there is an infestation of mice in the dining hall, so you cannot eat here today."
Ciel's eyebrow's furrowed in annoyance before he stood up and shrugged. "Take care of it. I'll be eating in my room, then." He said, motioning for his butler to come with him. Although half-blind, the boy could still find his way to his room.
"Certainly sir~" The faux Sebastian said, carrying the tray of food and walking alongside Ciel until they reached the room.
"Well, open it." Ciel commanded.
"Eh?"
"It's locked."
"Oh~, well where's the key?" The Undertaker asked, only to be greeted with a scowl from the small boy.
"Are you trying to be a fool? You're the only one who has the key."
"Ah…hmmm…well, it seemed to have slipped my mind. My apologies, Young Master." The Undertaker said, trying his best to keep in character. Reaching in the inside pocket of the tail-coat, the Undertaker found the key and unlocked the door.
Ciel sat upon the bed, awaiting Sebastian to bring him his dinner, but it never came. "Well?" He said impatiently, and a nervous cough was his answer.
"Young Master, there appears to be a stain on your shirt. Allow me to remove it." The voice said, and Ciel sighed, standing up.
"Well hurry it up." He said as the blurry black and white form before him brought its arms to his torso and began to unbutton his shirt.
"Oh, Young Master, have you been a naughty boy today? There also appears to be a stain on your shorts…" The supposed Sebastian said, causing Ciel to raise an eyebrow.
"I've been working all day. The most that could have happened is an ink stain. No matter, just fetch me new clothes." He demanded.
"Certainly, sir, but first I must remove your shorts." The voice said, placing his excited, shaking fingers upon the crotch area of Ciel's pants and beginning to unbutton them and slowly slide them do—
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY MASTER!" An appalled voice shrieked from the doorway.
"Sebastian?" Ciel asked, thoroughly confused.
"Sebastian!" The Undertaker gasped, a chill of fear running down his spine.
"What in the world is going on?" Ciel asked, shoving the Undertaker away from him and pulling his pants up.
"Nothing, Young Master…I just need to take the trash out." Sebastian (still half naked) said in a cheerfully evil voice as he grabbed the Undertaker, opened the window, and threw him out of it.
The master's room was on the top floor of the manor, so the drop should have killed or severely injured the Undertaker. Bwahaha...
And that is how Sebastian saved Ciel's innocence…For now.
A/N: Tee hee, and the fangirl screams resound at the final sentence. I was tempted to add a shounen ai scene to the end, or at least an explanation for poor Ciel, but I decided that was a decent place to stop. As for those of you who didn't get any of the perverted references or have NO idea what the Undertaker was trying to do...shame on you. xD This is a perverted humor story. And sorry, it kinda is all over the place but gimme a break I wrote this at five AM. XD Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Review, pwease? If you have a question ask and I shall reply. :)
