This isn't Narnia is it?
"Avada Kedavra!" The squirrel twitched before stuffing the nut in its cheeks before scampering off. The person who said the incantation of the deadliest and most outlawed spell, looked at his wand and whimpered. That was not the reaction he was looking for. At best, the squirrel should have toppled off the branch and not confirmed he was going to die a brutal death in the near future. The hooting of an owl brought him out of his pity party and he turned verdant green eyes upon an owl proud as a queen, and white as pure snow.
"Hey Hedwig, you know I love you right?" Hedwig bobbed her head before soaring down from her perch and whacking him over the head with her large wing. "Ouch! Hedwiiig! What was that for?!" The owl seemed rather unimpressed with his whining and gave him a regal glare. "All right, I'll be more mature blah blah blah." Harry Potter muttered beneath his breath. He heard a bark and trembled as he turned his head to the side. Golden eyes watched him, daring the boy wizard to say another word.
He gulped. "Sorry."
The owl gave a cough and flew off. Apparently, not forgiven. Just fantastic. Another thing to add to the list of things that had gone wrong for the boy wizard since he'd arrived in this strong new world. First he'd almost been killed by these strange men in masks who had magical powers he'd not even heard of before. They blew fire balls and could swim in the ground. One even walked on water! He felt his minor Church of England faith stirring at the sight. That was of course before pseudo-Jesus tried to decapitate him with a samurai sword. Luckily for him he'd tripped on a branch and therefore his neck was safe from the blade. He would almost have certainly bit the dust if an orange clad loudmouth hadn't crashed into his would-be murderer. He hightailed it out of there and after making sure he wasn't going to get a sword up the arse, decided to break out his trusty wand. Whereupon he discovered magic, that wonderful wonderful thing that it was, absolutely did not work.
He heard a branch crack and with an absolutely un manly shriek stumbled back, whirling around and brandishing his useless wand like a sword.
A strange sight greeted him. A man with gravity defying silver hair and a face mask waved his hand, his singular visible eye closed in an odd manner.
"Yo! Mind telling me why I shouldn't eh….disappear you stranger-san?" Harry's shoulders slumped. Just fuck it all.
