A/N: I love Snape with all my heart. People seem to look on the bad side, especially with him being-oh-so-evil in book 6. But in reality, it boosted my love further for him. Just because I think he's innocent. This contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Note: This takes place in the forest; remember what Hagrid said about seeing Dumbledore and Snape? This is what I think it was about…and also some other after thought stuff.
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter anything.
Harry Potter
Settling Promises
"I won't do this Albus! Understand, for just a second, how this could end up!" A figure stood in the shadows, underneath the protection of trees and greenery, arms spread wide. "I know what you're thinking. I'm not an idiot. I see where this is going and it won't end up that way!" The man spoke with a hint of anger in his voice. To the far side of him, quite a distance away, an old weary being stood, admiring the flowers—in particular, a man-eating carnivorous one that drooled warningly.
The old man didn't look directly at the other, but only proceeded to look interested in other bright flora around him. "Severus…" he began slowly, "I never ask much. Indeed, I hardly ask you to do anything—certainly not to put your life on the line…but I am beginning to feel my old age. And Harry needs someone to open his eyes to the fact that he cannot rely on anyone but himself, as much as I would hate to admit it. Please, Severus."
"The unbreakable vow…Malfoy…"
"Yes, quite understandable. This is the very reason I wanted to talk to you. I do not think young Draco is a killer at heart. If my death in the end can save his life, and others, then so be it. You understand the seriousness of this, do you not?" The headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, lowered his hand from the plant. The idea of focusing on it to not look at the potions master was little relief when he finally forced his eyes to rise up, meeting the hard onyx-colored orbs. "Severus…"
A sneer was on his face when the man replied, "I will not do this. I quit."
"Severus!" Albus walked closer. "Please! Reconsider!"
"You're asking the impossible. My name will become tainted and I'll have no one to rely on! I'll be sent to Azkaban the moment it happens! Don't make me do this, Albus, it simply won't happen." The sneer was replaced with a tight frown suddenly, "The order…Albus, no one would believe me. I'll have no lives to save. I'll be a traitor! You have to live. You're the world's hope. Everyone's." Briefly Severus wondered if these were the kindest words he'd said in his life. It seemed like it.
"I'm becoming old." The bearded one repeated calmly. "I'm—dear me, I'll be 151 quite soon. The world has relied on me. Voldemort's terror…" Severus flinched faintly at the name, "is becoming a threat, and I've seen enough of the world, enough suffering. I won't live much longer. Times have changed, my friend." Dumbledore bowed his head wordlessly, aware of another presence around them. The silencing charm didn't hide them, but it did keep their conversation private.
The potions master ran a hand through his greasy hair, eyes fixed on the ground for a long moment. Albus…a world without him. Impossible! There had to be a way around it!
"How about an Unbreakable Vow, Severus?"
The other man's head shot up instantly. "I've already made one. I don't wish for another, thank you." Venom dripped in his words, but the elder wizard took no notice.
"You will protect Malfoy. But you will carry out whatever the plan is. I don't want you not fulfilling it and dying in vain, not when it can be prevented. It's foolish, my child." At those words Severus stiffened and turned his back to the headmaster, grinding his teeth. But to his great displeasure, Dumbledore continued calmly on.
"I want you to promise me that you will kill me, if it comes to that. I also want you to continue to spy, continue to deliver information in any way you can. And also, to promise me that Hogwarts will continue."
There was a sudden laugh that cut the old man's small speech short, hollow, empty, and devoid of emotion.
"Continue? Is this some kind of sick joke? Headmaster, even if I did end up killing you…I wouldn't even be able to set on foot into Hogwarts without the Ministry on my tail."
"Surely this is nothing for the self-proclaimed Half-Blood Prince…" A very faint twinkle appeared in the headmaster's eyes as Severus spun quickly enough to almost lose his footing.
"Don't patronize me! And how in the world did you know about that?"
"My dear boy," The old man chuckled faintly, "I know everything that goes on within the walls of Hogwarts. Certainly you didn't think your little nickname would escape my eyes and ears? You were brilliant, even during your first year." There was a snarl and mumble of 'I should have known…' from the other man, but nothing else.
"Will you?"
Severus narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. Why was he always the scapegoat in everything? "Surely there must be another way…" he began, but his sentence was cut short as Dumbledore suddenly raised his hand.
"There isn't."
The look on Severus Snape's face darkened considerably. If he made the vow, which beyond a doubt would intertwine with Narcissa's, then he would most likely end up killing Dumbledore no matter what. If he didn't, there was a slim chance that the most famous wizard of all time might simply die within the next few decades. He was only mortal. And then where would the world be?
Go down in style and betrayal, or fade away from old age, just like that?
Seeing his colleague's struggling thoughts, Albus spoke softly. "I will never truly have left Hogwarts while there are those who still remain loyal to me within its walls. It's something I told young Harry once. I hope you understand it better than he did."
"You choose an Avada Kedavra curse over old age?"
"Perhaps I do."
The potions master rubbed at his forehead tiredly, not quite seeing the reason behind Dumbledore's words. But then, what was easy to understand from a man that made up his own words to explain things, ate Muggle food and treats, and had a knack for overlooking small things that would become big ones? "Do I have a choice?" Severus Snape asked with a tone that politely indicated his desire to be elsewhere.
"Of course you do, my child. You have a right to accept or not."
"And yet…" More sarcasm dripped in his words. "…You continue to ask me, despite my continued refusal." Onyx eyes bored into the headmaster's, a look of utter loathing in them. He continued to glare with all his might, and yet it had little effect on the older man.
"I do. I do not want to force you into something you do not wish—"
At that point Dumbledore realized he might have gone too far in pushing Snape.
"THEN WHY MAKE ME CONSIDER IT EVERY TEN SECONDS?" Severus yelled in sudden outrage, tree branches in his igniting with sudden burst of flame, incinerated within seconds. The headmaster quickly murmured a spell to put the fire out before it got dangerous and lowered his face a tad, hiding a look of shame.
"Because you are truly the only one I trust with this task. There is no other that I can rely on. Undoubtedly, this comes at a heavy price, and many would not see it in the same way I have…" The twinkle in his eyes was long gone, filled with something Severus couldn't put his finger on to name. "But I trust that someone would understand. Severus, I'm begging you. This old man needs your support."
"God damn you, you old fool!" Severus seethed on the spot, anger getting the best of him, to the point that pleasantries and patience didn't matter. "I will not do anything for you! I'm sick of being used by both sides, deciding who lives and dies, putting my life on the line! I spend hours and hours tortured by the little brats in my classes, summoned and forced to go, retrieving information like some pet to deliver to you. I get no respect. I—"
Snape suddenly shut his mouth when he noticed Albus's face. The old man looked positively hurt by his words. 'Serves him right…' Severus thought and nearly took a step back when the bearded man suddenly appeared in front of him; even though he was sure Albus hadn't moved. He didn't remember blinking.
"Severus…" Voice haggard, Dumbledore laid a hand gently on each of his shoulders. His initial instinct was to step back and hex him, but he stood still instead, not knowing what to do. He couldn't move, even though he did try. Something held him, made him listen.
"Severus, I do not want you to think that you are merely a pet. I don't want you to think you are used. You are my potions master, once my student, and also a Death Eater—a child that needed healing. You defected from the Death Eaters knowing it could have very well cost you your life. My child, please…never say that you are that." Dumbledore's voice shook, trying to maintain its calm edge.
And with it nearly cracking like that, it somehow made him feel like a student again. Dumbledore always had that effect when he got carried away with his speech and anger. "Then what am I?" Severus asked bitterly, not wanting to hear the answer. "What am I to you?" He scowled as fiercely as he could, but it was half-hearted and died when blue eyes met his own.
"You are…" Dumbledore fell silent. Struggling to put his warm thoughts into words that would neither offend his colleague, nor enrage him. "You are a brave soul. I can't say anything of what you are to me, Severus, but a dear close friend whom I trust with my very life." And, in a way, wasn't that what he had been doing all along? He smiled sincerely when Severus took a long breath, the first signs of defeat showing.
"Headmaster…" The man grimaced.
"You know there is no other way. Give me your word, Severus."
"But…"
"Severus Snape, Half-Blood Prince, potions master, Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and spy for the Order of the Phoenix. Give me your word. Promise me you will do as I say, without question or thought, should the worst happen. Dumbledore's voice was firm now.
Severus knew he was being pressured into doing this, and Draco wouldn't have had the balls to kill Dumbledore; he was far too young to be killing anyone, let alone his own headmaster. His thoughts swam together, and, feeling the gentle hands lift from his shoulders, he tasted a sudden bitterness in his mouth.
"Of course, Albus…"
And he wished he
hadn't said yes. Wished he hadn't gone out and talked to Albus
alone. Wished he could have said no, told him he wouldn't. Wished
the Unbreakable Vow had never been done. But wishing didn't change
things, and he had paid dearly for it all.
Severus threw the half-full glass of whisky at the wall in a sudden surge of anger. The glass shattered immediately, shards and liquid running down the wall like watered blood. The alcohol had turned as bitter as the words he had used on his closest friend. He took a moment to calm down, unable to tear his gaze from the Daily Prophet lying face up in front of him.
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE MURDERED!
Witnesses say that the great wizard Albus Dumbledore has been murdered on Hogwarts grounds during a Death Eater attack. So far no one has confirmed how they have bypassed all security measures and protective charms, only informed by an insider of 'some sort of secret room and enchanted cabinet.' The Ministry has not yet found either of these, but progress is being made.
Witnesses say that a teacher at Hogwarts by the name of Severus Snape (also supposedly a 'former' Death Eater) was responsible for the Killing Curse that ended Dumbledore's life. Though this remains unconfirmed, a reward is being offered for information regarding the whereabouts of this man.
Hogwarts' greatest headmaster will be buried this afternoon, within the schools' grounds. "It's where he wanted to stay," said Harry Potter, 16, rumored to have been in Dumbledore's company just before the attack… (Continued on p. A4, C3.)
Severus's eyes blurred with unshed tears. There were photos above the article, one of Albus taken recently, and one of him laid out in state, surrounded by teachers and students of Hogwarts; those that hadn't left after the attack. The man felt a tightening in his chest, as he flung the paper to the side to join his shattered glass, before he hunched in his chair, clutching at his hair and shaking his head.
Nothing in the world could help him atone for what he had done. Though it had accomplished its purpose: the Dark Lord was ecstatic with the results, and though it had been Malfoy's task, the boy had remained safe. He had been greatly rewarded. But no reward took away guilt, even if he had promised Albus, had made that accursed Vow with Draco's mother…
Severus sagged in his seat, dropping his face into his hands. He had plenty of information to give, but to whom would he give it? The Order—if he was detected, any of them would kill him on the spot. Hogwarts was a deathtrap, and the one person there that had trusted him, despite everything, was gone. Forever. The only thing left for the 'good' side to keep it going was their precious Harry Potter. If Harry failed…
"I don't even want to think of what kind of world this would become…maybe I should give it another try, for Albus' sake…" But…how? His gaze flickered to the armoire, eyeing the neatly folded Death Eater robes. Hogwarts. Robes. Magic. Undetected. Visit Albus. Leave information. It sounded so simple, and yet if anybody saw him, he'd find himself in Azkaban, or worse, facing the Dementor's Kiss. He shuddered.
"I hope you know what I'm risking for you now, old man." He raised his wand from the tableside and murmured a few words, the robes flinging themselves soundlessly from the armoire and into his outstretched hands. Questioning his sanity, he exited the room, throwing on his robes and snatching his mask. Disapparated.
Arriving at the outskirts of the Hogwarts grounds, Severus kept as close as he could to cover, blending into the shadows. His breath caught in his throat when he realized that the grounds were bare and abandoned, save for the remains of the gamekeeper's hut. Exhaling slowly, he maneuvered through the edge of the Forbidden Forest, flattening his back against the trees. At this moment, he did feel like a coward. Perhaps what Potter, the so-called Chosen One, had said was true. He was a coward.
His hand slithered down his side to rest on his wand. It wouldn't have surprised him if the whole wizarding world was launching a manhunt for him by now. But they didn't understand how much guilt he felt, nor the promises he had made, nor why he had done what he did. "And Potter," he spat at the darkened trees, "probably made it even worse. Snape killed Dumbledore indeed." Mouth curling into its habitual sneer, he continued to walk, slow and cautious, keeping his senses alert for suspicious sounds, or sudden movement.
And there. He saw it. The gleam of a white tomb, lavishly decorated and nearly buried under the flowers and gifts piled atop it. He eyed the sun with distaste and sat.
He would wait until nightfall.
Caught halfway between the living world and dreaming, Severus suddenly shook his head, blinking dazedly around him. Had he fallen asleep? No, he remembered casting a spell to keep his eyes open. Wearily he glanced all around him, checking the ground for any sign of possible intrusion. His head thumped back. Why check the ground? If someone had intruded and saw him he would be dead.
Pushing those thoughts aside, he clutched his robes and quickly rose. Without warning, an indescribable feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. 'A coward…' He thoughtfully mused, pressing his palms against the bark of the tree, eyes roving warily. There was no one. No Hagrid, no Potter. No students. Certain that it was safe, he took a step, pausing, alert, like a wild animal.
'I'm being foolish….' He thought bitterly, taking another. Now out of the safety of the trees he let his hand fall away and quickly strode to the tomb, staring down at the objects around once he reached it. His breath caught in his throat, he could only stare, transfixed on the motionless form encased in stone. "Albus….you fool. This world needed you."
Severus paused, lifting his head to look around. It was a danger just to be standing here. "Does this please you? I'm risking my neck to come here. Everywhere. I'm an outlaw, except to the Dark Lord. Was this your intent?" He spat, digging into his robes feverishly. As he searched he continued to speak, certain the headmaster could hear him. "It was a poor plan, stupid, reckless, and a waste of my time." Anger clouded his thoughts, making it all that more frustrating to find a small envelope due to the darkness night brought.
He in took a sharp breath, voice cracking once his fingers enclosed around a small rectangular object. "You knew that potion you drank was going to kill you. You knew old age was catching up to you. You knew death was inevitable…either way. And yet, you chose the one that had the least amount of sacrifices. Like an honorable Gryffindor."
Something stung at his eyes, and for a moment Severus had to stop the one-sided conversation to dab at his eyes. "I'll never forgive you for it, you know. Even if …he is killed. I'll still be branded as the traitor who killed Albus Dumbledore." Blinking rapidly he stepped closer, snarling at something that pricked his leg and kicking the obnoxious unseen object away. What kind of presents were people giving a dead man? As if they could ever be appreciated.
The potions master had the gall to sneer at the thought. It was oh-so-comforting to him.
He shivered at the cold when his bare arm was exposed to the air, as he laid the envelope on the top of the tomb. Where else could he send it? Give it? No one was going to accept it but Dumbledore. "I hope this gets to someone. And it better not go in Potter's hands." He scowled. "You said you needed someone to trust in. But you chose the most untrustworthy person in the whole wizarding world. What kind of logic is that?"
He gave the tomb, and envelope, a once-over before turning away, unable to bear it any longer. Stepping over some of the strewn items piled around him, he stopped, as a warm weight swooped out of the darkness to settle on his shoulder.
Freezing, he held his breath, relaxing only when something uttered a soft sound, a low, musical cry. He lifted a hand, fingers brushing hesitantly against soft feathers. Even without recognizing the music, it was easy to tell what it was.
Fawkes.
Dumbledore's phoenix. The one animal that had seen everything, but could not speak, could not say a word in anyone's defense. None of the many secrets between the greatest wizard of all time, and defected Death Eater seeking repentance for a sin, a crime he wished he had never done.
Receiving the Dark Mark.
"So you…" said Severus, slowly, "come to give me comfort? Then guard that note. It holds all of what I know currently and I'll deliver more. And continue what he told me to do." He turned his head to look at the bird, not minding the closeness. Somehow it was comforting.
Until it rubbed its head against his neck. "Get off." He wrapped his fingers around the now-annoying creature and lifted it. And no matter how much he tugged, the phoenix stuck like glue, and he only stopped when there was a definite 'ripping' sound. He concluded either the bird somehow managed to be torn in half, or the talons ripped his robes. He decided on the latter and snarled. "Annoyance! You're not thinking of accompanying me?"
There was a lighter shrill from Fawkes, which sounded indeed like an affirmative.
"Oh no…" The ex Death Eater shook his head frantically. "No. You have to stay here." He glared suddenly back at Dumbledores tomb, gaze turning murderous. "Great plan. It's so great I don't have enough sarcasm to enlighten you with how great it is." The bird lifted up from his shoulder, flapping its majestic wings high into the air, touching the moon's rays as the silver orb crept out from behind the clouds.
Looking up Severus saw a glimmer of hope flashing in the red feathers. It was common knowledge that when a phoenix died, it was reborn in its ashes. Then perhaps it was the same with Dumbledore, only different? Severus glanced back, bidding a sorrowful goodbye to his teacher, mentor, Headmaster, and above all. His only friend.
When Severus had left, a form shimmered into view on top of the tomb. Ghostly pale fingers ran along the surface of the envelope, pressing down on it to prevent its escape, and to ensure that the secrets would be found. By whom, it was unknown, but it didn't matter. As long as it was found.
And the ghost's eyes twinkled merrily, watching the retreating form of his friend, back to the woods, and out of Hogwarts.
It was all Albus Dumbledore could hope for, that he would continue his promise.
A/N: -daft look- -yawn- I'm tired. Please R&R.
Kudos to Drac for beta-ing finally xD
