Author's note: Haven't wrote in a very long time, but felt super, super inspired by that breathtaking Bamon scene in the premiere. Super excited for this season! This story is basically 3 years after 7x01 whereby I will explore what would happen if Damon discovered that he had feelings for Bonnie.


Amber Run - I Found

I'll use you as a focal point
So I don't lose sight of what I want
I've moved further than I thought I could
But I miss you more than I thought I would
I'll use you as a warning sign
That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be
Right in front of me
Talk some sense to me

"Why – why can't I move?!"

Damon's eyes glinted with excitement as he watched the tall red head whom he had compelled to stand, paralyzed in a deserted alleyway. He stalked towards her with a feral look in his striking blue eyes as the sound of her heart pounding the blood through her body drummed in his ears. He could smell the waves of terror radiating from her which merely served to excite him further.

"Damon! Stop!" Bonnie's voice broke him out of his trance and he turned to see her approaching him. To his dismay, his heart clenched at the sight of her; although her hair had been absently pulled into a top knot and her face was free of any make up, she looked stunning.

How on earth had she found him? It must have been Donnovan whom he had bumped into at the bar. Damn him. He rolled his eyes and took a swig out of the bottle of Bourbon he was carrying before compelling the red head to disappear. He hadn't intended to kill the girl, he merely wanted to have a little fun – he wanted to shut everything off and have let loose like he once used to.

"You can't keep on doing this to yourself," she said softly with those large, tender eyes of hers fixated on him.

The irony was that Bonnie was under the illusion that he had gone on a bender because of Elena, when as a matter of fact, it had been because of her. A week ago, he had learned of the kind of feelings he has been harbouring for her and the guilt had nearly destroyed him. He had instantly, without explanation moved out of her dorm and moved in with Alaric. He had also done his upmost to avoid her and push her away which proved to be impossible since she was relentless in her efforts to keep him from turning dark.

It had only been three years ago that Elena had been taken away from him, and although at the time he thought he would never recover, nor find happiness – he had found himself falling for Bonnie. Oh how foolish he had been to allow himself to get this close to her. To allow her to become his anchor. The constant guilt he felt after a momentary lapse of happiness was engulfing him and he felt as if he was drowning. The constant anguishing reminder that he was betraying Elena with every single thought of Bonnie.

"Why not," he laughed humourlessly lifting the bottle up to take another swig when she flew it out of his hands using her magic. It landed on the floor, a few feet away from him and he found rage bubbling up inside of him. That had been one of his finest bottles.

"Damon, you're better than this. Stop it," she repeated her voice strong and firm.

She would never give up on him, he released. Despite his best efforts to keep her at an arm's length, here she was. Bold and beautiful as ever. At that thought, he felt the self-destructive aspect of himself step in to take control. Anger, pain and devastation rushed through him like wildfire and although it wasn't her fault – he wanted more than anything to blame her for all of it.

"No, you stop!" he snapped stalking towards her dangerously. "Stop trying to save me, stop following me around, just stop!"

She backed away slightly but kept her chin raised, her face expressionless. She wasn't affected in the slightest, and this merely served to fuel his anger further. Why wouldn't she just give up on him?

"You are the reason she's gone. Do you hear me? It shouldn't be Elena who's in that casket, it should have been you!" he said, but the moment the words escaped his lips – he regretted it and wished that he could retract them.

He watched her eyes go wide with surprise, her brows raising as she took in a sharp intake of a breath. Her previous unreadable expression had vanished, and instead – she looked as if he had punched her in the gut, and perhaps he had. Her small chest heaved visibly with distress and he saw her hands curl up into fists. Damon was suddenly overcome with an overpowering urge to draw her petite frame to his chest and hold her against him. He wanted more than anything in the world to wipe away that look from her eyes and in that moment, he would have done absolutely anything to achieve that. Watching her expression, he learned that he would have easily ripped out the heart of anyone who made her feel like this– thus how ironic that it was his words which had caused this. For the first time in a long time, he felt like a monster.

She stood a foot away from him and blinked furiously as if she was fighting desperately to remain in control.

"Bon–" he took a hesitant step towards her.

"Don't you dare," she said, her voice calm and collected – yet emotionless. He stopped in his tracks as she backed away from him and watched helplessly as a mixture of emotions ranging from; rage to anguish rushed through her features.

"You think you're the only person who misses her? You think you're the only person who's hurting? The only person who's ever lost anyone?" she continued her knuckles turning white. "At least you will see her again – I won't!"

He flinched at the way her voice broke. She was tethering on the edge of tears and he was at a loss. He didn't know how to fix this.

"What happened to Elena wasn't my fault and you know that. She was my best friend and I lost her too, so I'll be damned if I ever let you make me feel like this again!" she finished, her eyes wild with rage. Bonnie, who he found to be an open book, became unreachable in the space of three seconds. He could feel her walls building up around her.

He furiously searched for the right words to say but came away with nothing. He had royally screwed up.

"You want to destroy everything you've built here? Go ahead, I'm not going to stop you. I'm done trying to save you," casting him one final look, she whirled around and stormed away from him.

Every fibre in his body screamed at him to go after her and stop her but he could no longer trust himself around her. Thus instead, he watched her disappear down the street with a vacant stare in his eyes. Although pushing her away had been a tactical move on his part, he had never intended to hurt her. Regret gnawed at him and he found himself closing his eyes. He didn't deserve her help. He didn't deserve Bonnie Bennett, period.


Arrogant, selfish, self-serving asshole!

Bonnie held herself together until she slammed the door to her dorm. The moment the door snapped shut, she became undone. Overwhelmed by the turmoil of emotions coursing through her, she threw her bag on the floor and collapsed against the door as a strangled sob escaped her lips. Using her hand to stifle the sound of her cries, she slid down the length of the door until her bottom settled on the cold, hard floor and her back rested against the door frame.

It had been precisely three years since she had last shed a single tear, therefore she found herself crying for everything she had previously subdued. She had lost a countless number of people in her life and she was exhausted. She was tired of the pain, the loneliness and the guilt. She was tired of feeling guilty for things she had no control over. The death of her Grams although not entirely her fault, weighed down on her every day. Her mother, her father and now Elena. She felt as if she was surrounded by death. It was like she was drowning and there was nothing she could do about it.

How dare Damon treat her as if she was at fault for what happened to Elena? As if she didn't miss her best friend whom she would never see again as much as he did? As if she hadn't continuously sacrificed absolutely everything, including herself for her friends. Bonnie's hands clenched as the feeling of anger dominated her emotions. Damn him, and damn anyone else who ever dared to blame her for Elena's death.

After what seemed like hours, Bonnie curled up on the floor, all cried out and the feeling of exhaustion consuming her. She prayed for sleep which had become her escape from this life and all the pain that came with it. This life, which had turned into something she never would have expected in a million years. Oh how she prayed that things could be different. That she could bring back everyone they'd ever lost. Damon's words tonight had cut her like a knife tonight, and partially it bothered her that she allowed him to get under her skin in such a way. He had become very important to her over the years, she'd be a fool to try and deny that – ergo the wall between them which seemed higher than it had ever been before tonight broke her heart.

As her mind wandered relentlessly, her eyelids grew heavy and she welcomed the darkness and sleep with wide arms. Sleep would do her some good. Feeling too tired to crawl into her own bed, she curled up on the floor which would have to do for tonight.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard the door creak open. The first thing she smelled was his cologne. What on earth did he want? Perhaps he had come over to pick up one of his many items which he had left in her room. Determined to avoid him, she settled for pretending to be asleep – perhaps then he would leave her alone. Footsteps approached her, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. She felt strong arms move underneath her and lift her up which was when she lost her breath completely. As he drew her in close and held her to his chest, she concentrated on keeping her breathing steady. She couldn't imagine anything worse than allowing her heartbeat to grow erratic and him learning that she was awake. Bonnie remained limp and allowed him to carry her over to where her bed was. He placed her down gently and then proceeded to remove her boots. For several seconds, she debated what her next move should be. She felt the covers move over her, and when his lips gently brushed across her forehead in a chaste kiss, she froze, paralyzed. Unable to control herself, she felt her heartbeat pick up its pace and prayed that he didn't notice. After a beat, his footsteps grew distant and before she could react, he had disappeared out of her room.

Confusion washed over her. What on earth had that been? Only a moment ago, she had been convinced that he resented her, yet here he was, behaving as if he cared about her. He was infuriatingly frustrating! In that very moment, Bonnie learned that she had developed highly complicated feelings for her best friend's boyfriend. A feeling of dread settled at the pit of her stomach with that realisation but instead of allowing the sense of panic to overtake her, she forced her eyes shut and drifted off to sleep.


Author's note: I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter/are interested enough for me to actually explore it as a full story though it could work as a drabble. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think and if you want it to be a fully fledged story - I cannot explain how grateful I will be! Thank you for reading and I will await your feedback!