It is another boring, summer day and Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and Perry Flynn-Fletcher again spend the morning lying lazily under their backyard tree. "Gee, Ferb, it sure is boring around here," Phineas exclaims in the most sluggish manner he's done all summer. Ferb says nothing as usual. Suddenly they hear a faint and mysterious sound coming from inside the house. "Ferb, did you hear that?" Phineas holds his hand by his ear in the direction of the house. Ferb does so as well while still maintaining that look of blank aloofness just like always. The sound seems to be steadily getting louder and louder. Then the screen door to the backyard suddenly opens and Phineas and Ferb look to the house. "It sounds like...sobbing! Someone's crying Ferb." Just then, their dad, Lawrence Fletcher, steps out onto the patio, holding the newspaper and bawling profusely. "Dad, why are you crying?" Phineas sits up to get a closer look at his dad.
Lawrence slides his wrist across his face to wipe away the tears, but he still has trouble speaking over the frequent and spontaneous sobs that interrupt his speach, "Oh, boys, I read the most tragic thing in the paper!"
"About what?" Phineas asks inquisitively, standing up as his curiosity finally gets the best of him. They might have finally found something to do today.
Shaking between sobs, their father struggles to splutter out, "D-did you see how many children there are that are in need of organ transplants but don't have anyone willing too lend them any?" He holds the newspaper up for them to see but the headline is impossible to read with his hand shaking so much. It doesn't matter anyway. Lawrence just drops it the second after and begins a new round of blubbering. "I-I-I'm sorry, boys, but I no matter how hard I try, I can't stop crying! IT'S JUST SO SAAAAD!" With that, he bursts into a whole new batch of tears and runs back into the house, shutting the screen door behind him.
Phineas, Ferb, and Perry watch him go crying off. Phineas stands there for while, even after their dad is long gone, though they can still hear his muffled sobs along with their mom's exasperated sighs from inside their bedroom. After a moment, Phineas turns to his brother and platypus and says faintly and solemnly, "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today..."
Meanwhile, Linda Flynn, Lawrence's wife and Candace, Ferb, and Phineas's mom walks out the front door of the house to the car dressed in sexy S&M gear.
Candace is in the backroom talking with Stacy when she sees her mom walk to the car. She is slouched down on their rocking chair so she can barely see above the windowpane and only catches the top her red hair. She does notice, however, that she has a completely different hairdo from the norm, which is weird because Linda is a very modest woman. She doesn't regularly change her everyday appearance unless it's a very very special occasion. Candace might want to just stay out of this one. "Yeah, Stacy, Jeremy did say he had stuff to do, so we couldn't really hang out," Candace says to the phone. "He better not be seeing someone else behind my back!"
"I swear, Candace, you are waaaaayyyy too possessive of that dude," Stacy says on the other end.
But Candace isn't listening anymore now that she sees her mom leaving, "Um, let me put you on hold for a sec, alright, Stace?" Candace sets the phone down and wanders outside. She arrives out the front door and makes her way to the driveway. She approaches Linda, who is rummaging through the car's trunk so her back is turned to her daughter. "Mom, how come you never told me you were leaving? That means I'm automatically in charge, right? Wait, hold on, of course that's what it means! I'm the oldest!"
Her mother sighs, exasperated, "See, this is exactly why I didn't want you to see me. I knew you'd run out, asking me a whole bunch of questions and then I'd be forced to tell you I'll be gone all night and then you'll obsess over being in charge like you always do!" She turns around to face her daughter. At the sight of Linda's horrific S&M gear, Candace's mouth drops open and her eyes go wide. She is stuck in place, the shock leaving her unable to move. Her mom notices this and gets a whole new kind of exasperated look on her face. "Oh, please, Candace. Not this."
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Linda is cut off by Candace's sharp scream. She finally finds movement in her legs and sprints back into the house, down the hall and stairs, into the basement and a box in the basement, down a ladder, and into the panic room where she once again grabs her long, worn-out, stuffed bear and clings onto it for dear life.
Up above in the living room, her forgotten cell phone remains dormant. "Candace! Candace, are you there?" Stacy's voice calls out confusedly, still waiting on the other end.
Back outside, her mom just keeps that annoyed look on her face, "Honestly, Candace, have a little maturity." She checks her outfit thoroughly up and down for the first time self-consciously. "I don't look that hideous in this thing, do I?"
Phineas and Ferb decide to get going with what they're going to do today when Phineas suddenly gets a very strange feeling that something is missing. He stops what he's doing to think for a moment. He looks up at Ferb who's still gathering supplies. It doesn't look like he's forgotten anything yet. His gaze moves over to Perry, who is still there. (Of course he is. Where else would he be. He's a platypus. They don't do much.) Phineas just shrugs it off and continues to help Ferb.
