When she gets him back after the accident, she doesn't want to let go of him for the fear that she'll lose him again. She wonders if this is how he felt after she had been shot. Sure they weren't together then, but he had loved her. And with love, came pain.

But as she continues to run her fingers through his hair, while he sleeps with his head in her lap, she thinks of more recent incidences that probably got him feeling like this. When she'd gone undercover on that mission as a Russian and ended up getting water boarded by Vulcan Simmons. When she had been accused of killing him, sending them both on the run, and him finding her drunk and bleeding in the hallway.

She's put him through hell this past year, so is this just karma biting her on the ass?

Castle stirs in her lap, coming to after his hour long nap. He's been so exhausted lately; not able to sleep at night because of the nightmares. She's been there. Still is.

"Head massage," he says, sleepily. "Feels good."

Her fingers rub into his scalp by his ear, but soon she starts to let her fingers dance over the shell of his ear. It's like she's taken to memorizing his body again, like it changed in that month they spent apart.

"Have you been sleeping any better?" he hums, his eyes slipping closed again as he focuses on her fingers.

Truthfully? No. She hasn't. She thought when she got him back, when she could wrap her arms around his solid form, and rest her head on his chest, her sleeping pattern would return to normal. Instead, she lies awake at night, waiting for a nightmare to wake him, avoiding slipping into one of her own.

"Yeah," she lies, her fingers now skimming down the back of his neck.

"Liar," he says, opening one eye to look up at her.

She tosses him a half smile. "Am I that obvious?"

"No," he starts, closing his eye again. "I've just been on your side of things. Anticipating your next nightmare or panic attack."

"Well then it's a good thing you weren't sleeping with me right after I got shot."

He opens his eyes again, this time shifting up out of her lap. Castle cups her face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing over the corners of her mouth.

"I don't know how you do it," Kate says softly. "Handle not knowing where I am."

"You've never been gone for a month."

A soft sob escapes from her lips and she leans forward to press her forehead against his. She's never going to let him out of her sight again. She can't. She won't.

He presses his hand into the small of her back, drawing her closer to him.

"I forgot to tell you," he starts, his voice almost a whisper. "My doctor cleared me for sex today."

His hand snakes under her shirt, cupping her through her bra. "And I think it's high time that I made love to my wife."

She crashes her lips into his before he can say anything else. Their tongues battle for dominance, as they both try to take control of the kiss. Kate's hands push under his shirt, trying to pull it off of him. He breaks away from the kiss long enough for them to get each other's shirts off, before his mouth is back on hers. Her hands slide over the hard planes of his back, as she finally lets him take control of the kiss. She moans as his fingers trace down the bare column of her spine.

She'd almost forgotten what it was like to be touched by him, to have his hands splayed over her naked skin like fire.

Castle unhooks her bra and drags it off of her shoulders. She pushes forward, craving the fiction of his chest against her bare breasts. She ends up pushing him back onto the bed, moving to straddle his hips. Kate kisses her way down his jaw line and neck, and across his chest. She wants to put her mouth everywhere, to make up for that lonely, tear-filled month without him. That month she thought he could be dead.

The thought hits her too hard and all at once, and she has to press her ear to his chest to make sure she can hear his heart beating.

"I'm okay, Kate," he tells her, coaxing her mouth back up to his. "We're both going to be okay."

He kisses her again, more tender this time than the first. He lets her have control and she takes it, craving the familiar taste of his mouth. She pushes his boxers off, he never did get dressed this morning, and he pushes her shorts and underwear off. She pulls away from the kiss and lays there on top of him breathing for a moment, just remembering what it's like to have his body pressed against hers.

"I love you," he says into her shoulder.

"I love you too."

Kate snaps back into action and trails her mouth down his chest and stomach. She nips at the edges of his pubic bone, before drawing him fully into her mouth. He lets out a groan as she starts to work him over, her hand twisting at the base of his shaft. Her tongue swirls around his tip and he nearly shatters then and there.

Castle digs his nails into her scalp. "Fuck. Kate, you have to –" he bites off the moan stuck in his throat. "You have to stop. I want to be inside of you."

She slowly drags her mouth off of him. "You are inside of me."

"Not there," he growls.

Her lips twitch upwards in a smile as she lies down beside him. "So then, come show me what you want."

He grunts, climbing on top of her and positioning himself at her entrance. He slips inside of her and they both moan at the contact. Over a month is too long.

Castle pushes into her higher, and she lets out a shaky breath as her walls readjust to being filled by him. Her legs wrap around his waist, pushing him closer to her. His hands tangle through hers and pin her arms above her head as he starts thrusting inside of her. He bends his head, and draws one of her breasts into his mouth, his tongue swirling around her nipple. Her breath hitches in her throat, as the sensations start to overwhelm her.

She moans his name, her hips rotating into his. God, she missed this. And she didn't even realize how much until now. Her main concern had been getting him back all in one piece. The thought of their reunion sex had never crossed her mind.

She curses as he picks up his speed and moves his mouth to her other breast. Her curses quickly turn into whimpers as her need for release builds. And he knows her. He knows her so well, in bed and out of it, that he knows what all of her little noises mean. So much so that he releases his grip on one of her hands so that he can bring his fingers down to rub at her clit, giving her the extra stimulation she needs.

Kate has to fight to keep her eyes open as her orgasm bubbles through her. She wants to watch him when she cums. Watch him swallow hard at the sight of her, before he starts moving even faster to work himself over the edge. They cum nearly one right after the other, a string of curses and moans and each other's names escaping their lips.

Castle continues to hover over her as their breathing returns to normal and they come down from their highs. She tugs on him and he lays back down, curling into her arms. Her fingers find their way into his hair again, her nails gently massaging his scalp.

"You're going back to work tomorrow aren't you?" he sighs, his legs tangling in between hers.

"Yes, and you're coming with me."

"Kate –"

"You're my partner. I can't do this job without you."