Disclaimer: Whilst no-one owns language (LOL-speak or otherwise), BBC/Kudos own Ashes to Ashes (lucky them). I'm pretty sure I nicked the punchline from somewhere too.
AN: I'm not entirely sure where this idea came from, I just couldn't sleep one night. Anyway, hope you enjoy and please review!
LOL
Shaz had been badgering the others for months about some kind of CID outing. Ray pointed out that they were together in Luigi's most nights but Shaz claimed that didn't count. She wanted to dress up and go somewhere. This was all well and good when it looked like it would be a club or a bar or something but then she had the idea of going to see The Nutcracker over Christmas.
Chris was happy to do pretty much anything Shaz told him to and Alex was delighted, having loved the ballet since she was a little girl. Ray and Gene were unconvinced until Alex pointed out, gritting her teeth all the while, that all the ballerinas would be hot. And wearing short skirts (all right, tutus, but their legs would be on display).
Gene pretended to give in based on this line of argument too, all though the truth might have involved a little more of Alex and seeing her out of office hours than he was prepared to admit. Still, he didn't want to be the only one not going.
They were sat in Luigi's, comparing free evenings. Shaz had discovered that the cheapest tickets were in the first week of December and her notepad was being passed around the table and everyone was marking down the free evenings.
Just as it came to Gene, Chris let one rip. He had been trying to contain it, hoping that it wouldn't come out until he was safely outside or in the bathroom but no, out it came and it seemed the whole world heard it.
Certainly, everyone around that table heard it. Shaz instantly doubled up and Ray pretended to choke and gasp for air as tears streamed down his cheeks. Alex pretended to look disgusted before conceding that it was pretty funny and giggling, particularly as Chris had gone so red. Even Gene was smiling.
Just as the laughter was dying down, Alex burst out with "LOL!"
They all looked at her curiously.
"Sorry," she said, "I know it's normally written down. Or typed in an email or a text message. It's quite rare to hear someone say it out loud isn't it?"
The blank faces continued. Finally Shaz said, hesitatingly, "LOL?"
"Yes, LOL!" cried Alex in exasperation, "You know LOL. EL-oh-el. Laugh out loud."
Silence.
"I suppose MSN hasn't been invented yet has it? God, you don't even have
Facebook… Look it's like using emoticons or smileys. You know, like a colon followed by an open bracket. Or indeed, a closed bracket. My daughter's favourite is a semi colon followed by a capital P. She never sends a text without it. Makes you look like this." Alex closed one eye and stuck out her tongue.
The only effect this had on her friends was to cause Chris to look wildly around for the nearest straight-jacket.
"Ok, Ok," said Alex, returning her face to normal. "What do you think PML means?"
"Means you're riding the cotton pony, Ma'am," said Ray.
"No, that's PMT. Look OK, what about FTW?"
"What?" Gene barked.
"You know, FTW! For the Win! As in CID FTW, Fenchurch East FTW! The Manc Lion For The Win!"
Alex looked incredulously around.
"Are you seriously telling me you've never taken a ride in a ROFL-copter?"
Gene bent over Shaz's notepad and wrote, very slowly, WTF.
"I knew it!" Alex exclaimed, jumping to her feet and pointing at her DCI. "I knew it, Gene Hunt! I knew you'd get my lingo!"
"These are the days I'm free, Drake," said Gene, icily. "Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. What did you think it meant?"
