Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters
(AN: For some reason I thought of this idea when I listened to 'Rosyln' on the new moon soundtrack. In the film it's played just before Edward leaves Bella... when he says "come take a walk with me" – meeeh heartbreaking! – but for some reason I found myself thinking about the Cullen's when I was listening to it and what they were going through at the same time. It's written in third person which I haven't done before but it means that you can get a sense of what each of them are feeling. )
It was last night Edward had finally made the decision to leave Bella which – of course – meant that every member of the Cullen's had to leave her too. The majority of the house was packed away in boxes, only the large furniture remained. The Cullen's had moved away from their various homes many times and for many reasons, but never this reason. Never had a move affected them all in this way. It was as if they were each leaving a piece of themselves behind and in a way... they were. Bella had become as big a part of the family as the rest of them and it was a completely inconceivable idea to even imagine leaving her behind – alone. But they had all agreed to accept Edward's wishes, no matter how much they disagreed with them.
The room was completely silent. Nobody was moving and nobody was talking. Each of them were lost in their thoughts.
Rosalie was sitting in a chair by herself, flicking through a magazine. Of course she was not really reading it. It was just a prop that distracted her family from her own gloominess which she would never admit. She did consider Bella a sister, of sorts, and was thankful for the happiness that she gave Edward and her family. But if truth be told she was not saddened by abandoning her, she had never considered it a good idea for Bella to be so included in her family and to know so much about them... but she was hurt by the sight of her loved ones almost mourning for the human girl. She'll get over him, Rosalie thought... We'll get over her.
Jasper was facing one of the large stone walls. His head was in his hands which were pressed into the brick work. He was absolutely inconsolable, imagining that all of this was his fault. He repeatedly cursed his lack of control and could hardly believe that Edward had not kicked him out of the family. Jasper knew that he would never leave his family, not just because Alice would never allow it, but for the fact that this family made him feel as though he finally belonged in this world... they made him feel happy. But at this point in time he was overloaded with the downhearted emotions emanating from the five immortals that surrounded him. Ironically, he was grateful that he was not in the presence of Edward... or Bella. He had spent enough time with Bella to know of her love for Edward and knew her well enough to know that she would be in a state of extreme depression for a long time and the thought of feeling what she must be feeling almost brought his steady frame to his knees.
Carlisle was leaning against one of the glass panes that made up the east side of the house. His eyes were studying the forestry in front of him, scanning the trees for the arrival of Edward. His thoughts were with his son, hoping that he changed his mind and had decided to stay, but knowing all too well that he would not have. Carlisle was considering the possibility of Edward leaving the family for while to spend some time by himself – it would not have been the first time. But Alice had insisted that he would not, either that or he had not yet decided to. He understood the reasons why his son wanted to leave, though he couldn't bring himself to agree with them. Similarly to Jasper, Carlisle knew the possibilities of Bella's reaction to the situation. As a physician he had encountered both men and women who had plunged into an emotional and physical state of depression and he prayed that Bella would not become one of them. Carlisle was always blown away by the faith and devotion that the young girl had shown both Edward and the rest of them. He had hoped to see her one day complete their family and he fully regretted that she would not. He was sure Edward would never find another love, therefore meaning that his family would never be whole again.
Emmett was standing against the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. His arms were raised so that his hands were placed on the back of his head, making him look even broader than usual. His right leg was bent and his foot was resting against the wall. His eyes looked forward into nothing and refused to blink. Anger was rushing through his body. He couldn't understand why his brother had not changed Bella to become one of them. From his point of view it just looked like Edward almost enjoyed being miserable! He loved his brother dearly and always would, but at this point in time he hated him. He hated Edward for not changing Bella, he hated Edward for leaving her, he hated Edward for taking him away from her, away from the girl who he considered a sister from the first time she stepped into their house, away from the girl who he loved teasing, away from the girl who he would do anything for, away from the girl who reminded him so much of his own little sister – though he had almost forgotten what she looked like. In truth, Emmett had seen so much of himself in Bella. They had both been chosen to join the family through love and he couldn't imagine being in Bella's situation... if Rosalie had saved him only to leave him alone, and hurting more than the burning of a transformation. His anger finally boiled over and he clenched his fist into a ball and smashed it into the plaster behind him. His right leg that had been bent against the wall followed suit and also crashed it into the wall creating both a large hole and a long crack that stretched to the ceiling.
"This sucks." He said, conveniently summing up everyone's thoughts in two words after the hours of silence, as he slumped into one of the couches burying his face in his hands. Seeing his distress, Rosalie dropped her magazine and made her way to his side, sitting beside him and caressing his back. As if adding insult to her injury he lifted his head momentarily to give her a weak smile and then dropped it again.
No body else had responded to Emmett's outburst – not even Esme. She was distracted, praying for Bella. Esme had been in a similar position to the one Bella would be in shortly – stripped of the only true love she had ever felt. Esme knew all too well what she had done in an attempt to end the pain and prayed that Bella would not. Bella was young, and still had the chance of a happy life. But Esme had seen how Bella acted around Edward, how she talked about him, how she looked at him. Call it a mother's intuition or not, but Esme had no doubt that they were meant to be together. She found herself remembering the night when Alice had first seen a chance that Edward and Bella would fall in love and the sheer joy that she felt about it. She tried to hang on to it, that precious feeling that seemed so lost now, but she couldn't. She wished now more than ever that she was capable of crying. She wished she could shed a tear for her daughter that she would never see again. She leant against Alice's head who was lying in Esme's comforting arms, one of her hands rubbing Alice's shoulder and the other stroking her hair.
Alice was both completely distraught and unconcerned. Half of her being was devastated beyond any recognition. She had been torn away from her best friend, someone who she loved greatly. Edward had begged her not to make any more contact with her, unwillingly she agreed though it didn't pass without argument. She understood that for Bella to truly ever move on, she couldn't be reminded of Edward in any way, though Alice doubted that Bella would ever forget him nor move on. That is what the other half Alice was fighting for. She had seen it – seen Bella as one of them! And that vision did not change with Edward's decision to leave, further adding to her belief that they should not leave. Like Emmett, she was furious at Edward. Why couldn't he understand that he and Bella were destined to be together! He had the ability to see into her mind, to see how obvious it was, and yet he refused to look at what was in front of him! So the battle between the present and future raged within Alice and she knew it would until things were set right again.
Suddenly Alice was hit by the vision of Bella that she did not want to see. Edward had obviously gone through with it, as she knew he would, but instead of returning home as Edward assumed she would, Bella was going to follow him – well try to anyway. Of course she couldn't catch him up, and never would. What possessed her to try to follow him though she was fully aware that it was hopeless?
As she watched her, Alice felt as though she was experiencing what Bella was, feeling everything she was feeling. It was then when Alice truly became submerged in the feeling of utter loss. The future that Alice was longing for was losing considerably in the war against the wretched present. She found herself reaching out as Bella did in an attempt to pull the already long gone Edward back to her and fell out of Esme's arms to the even surface of the couch. As Bella cried, she cried. Alice hit the cushion with her clenched fist and then uncharacteristically smashed it into the small table that was situated next to the couch. The table flew into the nearest wall and shattered on impact.
Jasper was quickly by her side, trying to hold on to her writhing wrists. "Alice! Alice! Calm down. What's happened?"
"How could he? How could he?" She repeated, shaking her head.
Esme looked at her daughter sorrowfully and made her way into Carlisle's arms unable to cope with the despair radiating from Jasper.
Carlisle kissed her gently on the forehead, but didn't take his eyes away from the edge of the forest.
Within seconds, Edward appeared.
"He's here." Carlisle said simply.
Alice continued to cry out for Bella, the reality of the situation hitting her hard.
Edward entered the room slowly, preparing himself for the argument that would surely present itself after being bombarded with the thoughts of his family. But he took one look at the faces of his brothers and sisters, his mother and his father and regretted ever putting them in this position. Guilt washed through him like a tidal wave. He knew that for the rest of his days he would feel sorrow and loss for he would never be able to forget the precious Bella Swan, nor would he ever find another love. He would only see her, for the rest of his existence. But he would never be with her, never truly see her, so he would be forever in this state of grief. He could not subject his family to this. They should be able to move on, just as he wished Bella would, but like her they would not be able to with his being there.
Alice saw it then, the vision that Carlisle had expected all along. The growl that was building in her chest instead came out as a whimper.
"Edward?" She questioned. Her head filled with the image of him running, running forever. "It won't last Edward. You will go back to her." The venom once again pooling in her mouth as the anger bubbled at the surface. Can't you see it? Why won't you look at it? Why won't you accept it? She shouted at him internally.
He simply shook his head, not saying a word and exited the house once again, this time he believed that he would not return to the ones he called family.
"Edward!" Alice called after him. "Edward!" Again she called, but angrier.
She was running after him into the density of the trees.
She knew she wouldn't catch him, but she continued running. Alice poignantly remembered wondering why Bella had run after her brother no more than three minutes ago and here she was, mimicking the same exact act.
Alice stopped and shut her eyes, searching into Edward's immediate future, trying to work out where he was going. She recognised the place, she and Jasper had ventured there before, but even better – she knew a faster way to get there than the way Edward was heading.
She leapt up to the branch above her and jumped from bough to bough. She saw him then, running below her. She pushed as hard as she could from the last branch, flying straight into Edward. They rolled together for fifty yards before they both came to a stop, landing on their feet.
Instinctively Edward grabbed her by her throat and pressed her against the nearest tree. He looked up into her frightened eyes and immediately dropped her. He was going to apologise, but as her feet gently touched the ground, without even making a sound, her eyes changed into a glare.
"Leave me alone, Alice." He growled.
He turned to leave but was pushed to the ground from behind.
Alice was snarling viciously at her brother. The image of Bella lying on the dirty ground not too far from here repeatedly flickered in her mind.
"Stop it, Alice." He begged. "Please."
She let go of him, for the first time realising that he was hurting just as much as Bella. She fell to her knees when she finally comprehended that not only had she lost her sister tonight, but her brother. They made one another whole and without each other they were simply not complete.
"I'm sorry." She cried.
Edward embraced his favourite sister, silently begging for forgiveness. His head abruptly filled with images of his beloved Bella screaming long into the night, doing nothing during the day and becoming more and more thinner – as if she was about to disappear into thin air.
"Stop it Alice!" He almost screamed, pushing her away by her shoulders.
Alice knew what was going to happen to Bella, what she was going to do, for Alice would do exactly the same if Jasper left her. Of course, Alice couldn't see a vision of this, but she didn't need to.
"No. That won't happen!" Edward spat in reply to her thoughts. Of course he had considered Bella's thoughts and feelings about this situation and did wonder if she would do such a thing – take her life. But she was just a human, incapable of the love that he felt for her. He knew she would one day get over him... and forget him. "Bella promised." He added, sombrely.
Alice shut her eyes, hoping to find some evidence of Edward's words in Bella's future... but the same images resonated in her mind. Bella – an empty shell of her former self.
Edward hissed aggressively. "Don't be looking for her future either! We've done enough damage. Let her be! Let her live her life in peace."
"But Edward..."
"No." He said simply, starting to stand up and walk away.
"Edward..." Alice whispered, from her knees, holding on to his hand, trying to keep him there, though her visions told her that it was a lost cause. "Don't do this."
Her words were too much for Edward, for Bella had spoken the exact same ones not long ago. For the second time in less than ten minutes he was leaving a girl that he loved alone in the forest, while she was begging him to stay. His guilt evaporated slightly when the thoughts of his family entered his mind. They were not far away now, meaning Alice would soon be comforted in the arms of her loved one... but also that he needed to get away. He could escape from Alice's hands, but not from his brothers.
"Love you, Alice." He breathed. They were the same words he wished he could have told Bella when he left her.
Alice's breath stuttered as she inhaled. "Edward." She breathed once again. With every step she heard him take, the future that she was trying so hard to hold on to, that she tried so hard to get him to see, was slowly weakening. But it never vanished; it was always there, in her periphery of her extra sight. It would always be an option, she knew, even if Edward didn't. He had already vanished from her sight when she eventually opened her eyes; the only evidence that he had been there were the small leaves, slightly shaking from his hasty exit and his scent that still hung in the air around her. She stood, about to chase him once again, she needed to stop him.
She had taken one step before Jasper's arms were around her waist. "Let him go, darling."
She stopped struggling and turned to embrace her husband. The four other members of her family joined them both, and in unison they all looked in the direction that Edward had left, each of them fighting the urge to follow him and bring him home.
