A/N: Okay, new fic. I warn you now: the first chappy is more setting the scene. It will get better. And more fluffy. Lol. I know that there is loads of stuff left unanswered, but just bare with me. All WILL be explained. Lol.

All you have to do is read and review! Easy huh?

Enjoy!

I raced up the three stories of steps with little effort. The key shook in my hand as I placed it in the rusting lock. My trembling fingers fumbled in an effort to get the key in the first time. It wasn't working all that well. Could today get any worse? I wondered. I guess it's the whole me-not-caring thing. But then your boyfriend walking out on you can do that to a girl. I really thought he was the one. Jesse I mean. But if he really was then why would he have done something so horrible?

I collapsed onto the floor after giving up on opening the door. I didn't even care that the floor looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a year. All I cared about were the memories that seemed to be flooding back in full force. My eyes snapped shut of their own free will. Mostly because of the tears that were threatening to spill out like so many times before.

"Susannah, I cannot do this anymore. It isn't fair. It isn't fair on either of us. Especially not you. This must stop before it goes any further." He'd said.

I could hear how much it hurt him to say that. To destroy everything that we had together. I could see a desperate sadness that I'd never seen before, in his eyes. But it just made me angrier. After everything I'd given him. After all the sacrifices I'd been prepared to take. All the pain and uncertainness of the past few months. All for nothing. He was just going to walk away.

Maybe that's what I should do. I thought absently, trying desperately to cling onto the last ounce of reality. But it wouldn't work. I could already feel the swirling abyss of emotions welling up inside me again. But I was far too used to these feelings by now. Carefully rearranging myself so that I was standing, I set my face. And closed my heart again. It was the only way I got through these days.

This time when I placed the key in the lock it seemed to turn easily. I wiped my streaming eyes with the back of my hand and walked inside my new apartment. Slamming the door carelessly, I made my way towards the nearest sofa and flopped down. Today had been the toughest so far. Seeing CeeCee had done something to me. And her mention of Jesse hadn't helped either.

I ran a hand through my hair and took the time to breathe. It's amazing what a couple of deep breaths could do. Not exactly the master cure I know, but at least I wasn't still crying. Allergy season in New York seemed to be year round for me.

I jumped at the sound of the phone ringing. I picked it up without really seeing it. Losing the love of your life can do that to a person.

"Hey, you've made it through to the Susannah Simon voice mail service. If you want to talk about how totally screwed up your life is then go ahead. My personal hotline seems to be open daily. So if you want to leave a message then………."

"Susannah?"

Even though the voice was faint and broken with static, I still recognised it as if I had only heard it yesterday.

"Father D?" I asked hearing the shock evident in my own voice. My original reluctance about taking the call was instantly forgotten. I hadn't heard from Father D since the day I ran away from home to come live in NYC. Incidentally at the same time Jesse ditched me.

"Oh thank heavens! I was sure that I'd missed you again." he mumbled quickly. I wasn't surprised. Me and him hadn't exactly parted under the best of terms.

"What do you want?" I asked confusedly. I heard him cough faintly. Then the sound of someone in the background, talking rapidly. I recognised the voice instantly.

"Well Susannah…….."

"Is that Jesse?" I asked, feeling angry. I felt fresh tears spring to my eyes. This time it wasn't because I was upset. More because I was livid.

"Well, Susannah….please don't be rash but….."

"Is it him?" I whispered again. This time I could hear all the pent up emotion in my voice. I heard Father D cough again.

"Yes Susannah. And I would appreciate it if you learnt to control your anger. It was not his choice to….."

"Look, I gave up trying to 'control' my anger about the same time Jesse decided to throw me into the gutter. Which was incidentally when I realised that all men are liars and thieves."

"Thieves? Susannah I am afraid that I have no idea what you are talking about. But if you'd just let me explain……"

"Jesse stole my heart. I'll never get that back. No matter how far I run."

And with that I threw the phone down. I stared at it for a few more seconds before finally standing up and grabbing my coat. I'd decided to take a day off from being a crime-scene reporter. I couldn't take any more misery today. After all, it was special circumstances.

I flung open the door, only to find someone already waiting outside. I was so zoned out that I walked straight into the poor guy.

"Oh my God. I am so sorry!" I shrieked, as I bent down to look at him.

The first thing I noticed about the guy was his hair. He had nice hair. It curled in the perfect way only professional stylists could create. I'd only ever seen hair like it once before. That's when it hit me.

"Paul?" I choked, feeling completely stunned. What was he doing here?

First Father D now this. Could this day get any worse?